f13.net

You have to put it to song in your head..sorry. But it's still beautiful.


Bohemian RPG

By Francisco Rangel and Cam Boyes

/(To the tune of " Bohemian Rhapsody " by Queen)/

It's not the real life. It's just an RPG.
Caught in a dungeon. My escape from reality.

Open your guide, look up dwarven stats and see,
I'm just a fighter, magic is not for me
Because it's easy loot, easy gold, level high, level low
Any way the dice rolls really really matters to me, to me

Mama, just killed an orc. Swung my axe against his head
Rolled an 18, now he's dead.
Mama, I just rolled a one
My boots of speed won't let me run away
Mama, ooh, running low on my supplies
I'm running out of food and out of arrows
Gotta run, gotta fight, hope my sword and shield don't shatter

Too late, my dwarf is dumb
His wisdom's down the drain, his intelligence is lame
Got no constitution, charisma's null
Gotta run, but my dexterity's uncouth
Mama, ooh, I don't like this die
I sometimes wish I'd rolled a much better char

I see a little amulet-o on the ground
Is it cursed? Is it cursed? Where'd the rest of my clan go?
Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very fright'ning me
Magic Missile (Magic Missile) Magic Missile (Magic Missile)
Magic Missile, Thunderbolt
I'd better go. I'm so alone now, monsters attack me
He's just a poor dwarf, playing this RPG.
Fighting alone with this monstrosity
Easy kill, easy blow, let my level grow
Experience! No, your level will not grow.
(Let it grow!) Experience! My growth rate is too slow.
(Let it grow!) Experience! I want to wield my bow.
(Wield your bow) Let my crystal glow.
(Let it glow) Land a crushing blow. (Crushing blow)
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
(Oh, mama mia, mama mia) I can't fail this saving throw.
Beelzebub is a demon and he's after me, help me, HELP ME!

So you think you can beat me by rolling a five
You can't harm me, if you did, I'd just get revived.
Oh, slay me, no way that you can slay me
Just gotta take out, just gotta take out my new spear

Rolling really matters, dice are what you see
Rolling really matters,
Rolling really matters to me

Any way the game goes

Best 5 minutes of the night.

Thanks for that.

 :-D

You get a smiley.

Brilliant!  :-D

Hahaha nice =D

That reminds me, i've gotta go work on my WoD character sheet.

 - meg

Gorgious!

A great excuse to boot up my Queen tracks.  :-)

That had me laughing out loud, thank you a lot

Oh brother. Did you guys ever hear the CoC spoof of Fiddler on the Roof? Ridiculous.

linkage por favor!

When I die want to be reincarnated as Topol's Tevye.  For a man who was slow of speech he talked a lot!

A buddy of mine had it on a cassette tape.

Follow the link on this (http://www.shoggoth.net/article.php3?story_id=329&section=Home&topic=Delta+Green&slashSess=a0360f972cce6129658e21609d785b5d) page.

Shoggoth on the Roof. Yikes.

Lily... Change the avatar. What the fuck is wrong with that guys eyes? That is one ugly sonovabitch.

Excuse me, who the fuck are you?

Sorry if my avatar is too specific for you, but I notice you don't even have one. Whoooops!

(http://www.poisoncentre.be/images/christmas-new-year/cigarette.jpg)

Sorry, that should've read:

Excuse me, who the fuck are you?

Sorry if my avatar is too specific for you, but I notice you don't even have one. Whoooops!

Hey, cockbreath (that's you, The Jesus): did it ever occur to you that I was a snide bitch before I quit smoking?  :evil:

Oh I know. I am just trying to push your over the edge into raging, frothing psycho bitch. It was quite amusing with Signe  :-D

Now I have to go brush my teeth...

I kinda already stopped giving a shit. It's been a couple weeks, right? I cheated on the weekend, but it hasn't really been that bad. I'm taking drugs to help the withdrawal side effects, and they appear to be working.

I am, however, getting a LOT of Baten Kaitos gameplay in.  :lol:

You still have a long way to go, young padawan.

  Gorry. Guess I should have put little smiley faces and pretty flowers around it. Look, I was just kiddin around, because yeah, the guy is odd looking. I really don't give a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut that you took that wrong, and as for why I don't have an avatar, I don't know how to link one. WHOOPS!

 And as for who I am, I'm a goddamn veteran. I had buddies die face down in the muck so people like you could drink your coffee.  Have a nice day.

Jack. Black. Get with zee program, Walrus. He's the frontman for Tenacious D and star of things such as High Fidelity and School of Rock.

He's also probably one of the 10 funniest men on earth.

I know who Jack Black is, but even after you've said that, I still have a little trouble seeing him in that. It just looks like legolas on crack.

Sigh. I will explain this only once, and don't go all PTSD on me. JAck Black and Sarah Michelle Gellar hosted the MTV Movie awards in 2002. They did a LOTR spoof. This is JB at Elrond's secret council. YOu can see it (it's an easter egg) on the Fellowship of the Ring extended edition dvd.

EDit: typo

Or download it from teh intarweb (http://www.sharpjokes.com/?q=node/view/92).

I think TheWalrus chose an avatar that suits him just fine! 

I am, again, in the process of giving up cigarettes so don't taunt me... you'll be sorry if you do!  I seem to be having a bit more success although I've taken to dreaming about smoking.   :-(

Dream of these (http://www.presmark.com/htmlfile/pictures.htm) instead. WARNING! There is a reason I don't inline the images there directly.

Luckily, I couldn't see the pictures when I clicked on your link so I was able to avoid them.  I sort of knew where it was going and I have a very delicate constitution. (in other words, I throw up easily)

I will never click on anything you post again.  Ever. 

Hah. As if.

But you should check out the rest of that site if you're serious about quittingm they seemed to ha lots of helpful tips.

Why is it that when Signe gives up the ciggies (again) she gets the help and the love but when I quit I get imgs of cigarettes to taunt me? Not fair!

Signe- you go girl. Today begins week three for me.

Thanks.  I'd smoke images of cigarettes at this point... but it's been nearly over a week now so I'd better try and tough it out.  It's  much more difficult for women to give it up and my husband is the proof.  He decided to stop months ago and hasn't smoked once since that decision.  I've been giving up for years.


http://health.discovery.com/centers/quit_smoking/articles/women2.html

This was the bit that caught my eye.

(http://woodencigars.com/images/cigarettes.jpg)


Now...sit back and see if we can get Lily and Signe to wrestle over them!

Why aren't they burning the table? Hey, wait! Those aren't real!

Do not taunt the happy foreign lady?

I had three cigs this weekend when I was playing some poker. I come out $6 up, but I was coughing non-stop the next day.

I think I learned my lesson. Don't jump on and off wagons.

$6 can still get you some Sucrets, ya?