f13.net

The people in this story really exist.

Johnny Depp's dogs must 'bugger off' to US or face death for entering Australia (http://www.theguardian.com/film/australia-news-blog/2015/may/14/johnny-depps-dogs-must-bugger-off-to-us-or-face-death-after-entering-australia-illegally)

I don't even know how to properly respond to that.  I mean, so if he would have just gotten a permit everything would have been fine.. but since he didn't, they have to leave or be murdered... awesome.

The agriculture minister's statement is a must watch LOL (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gMQ_SyEXvu4)

Australia's been getting fucked sideways by clueless white dudes smuggling in their disease-ridden animals for centuries now.  I say good for them telling Depp to take his smuggled dogs and fuck off.

A political journalist has just named it the War On Terriers.

Edit: and someone adapted our immigration warning posters:

(http://pbs.twimg.com/media/CE7215vUsAAU6O8.jpg)

Australia sure looks like a friendly country.

They're not real dogs anyway.

Yes, they are real dogs.  Just short and so adorable they could make you cry tears of cute-i-ness.  Like you.  Are you not a real boy, Paelos?

I wonder some days.

I just think the Chinese are waiting for us to adopt smaller and smaller dogs until eventually all our men are wondering around with teacup poodles, and then WHAM. Red Dawn.

I heard about this on the radio this morning.  I don't get the confusion.

Chap breaks the law.  Chap is subject to the same penalties as anyone else.  Kinda.

So what ?

Take your fucking dogs home, you idiot.  And I love your work.

But you're still an idiot.

Why not put the dogs in quarantine, do whatever tests needed (I'm sure Mr. Depp will pay top dollar, even if its the manky less endowed Australian dollar ;) and be done with it? Me Thinks Yon Minister Doth Protest Too Much.

Because that's not the law. And Depp broke the law. If he wants to quarantine the dogs and do the tests back home it takes 180 days, and then 10 days in Australia from what i'm reading. Plus getting them chipped and immunized.

It's easy to forget those pesky rules when you fly in on private aircraft.

Wow, 180 days of quarantine to bring in a dog to AU? Granted, its been since 1985 since we brought in our cat to the US from the EU, but I know for a danged fact we never had to quarantine her in the EU at all and in the US her quarantine was reasonable. Has AU been harmed particularly badly by this that the rules are so strict? Here are the US rules: http://www.cdc.gov/animalimportation/dogs.html

Given the fact that Australia has been ravaged by foreign animals, rabbits in particular, which have endangered many native animals... yeah I can see them being a bit over-the-top when it comes to importing animals. They have their laws for their own reasons which have to be respected unless you are coming with a conquering army.

California also has rules on what animals you can keep as pets (e.g. no ferrets, which people complain about a LOT), which is similarly because California has a lot of small and historically isolated ecosystems that have gotten almost irreparably fucked up by introduced species.  Australia and New Zealand have it a lot worse, though, and I completely understand and support them being a lot stricter.

Also I just knee-jerk cathect to any situation where anybody's shocked that the standard laws still apply to the rich and famous. Yes, they do.

Also: War on Terrier? Ha.

Anything less than fifty pounds is a cat and cats are useless.

Eat some bacon Ron.

I know Australia is very strict.  The UK is careful, too, mostly because of rabies but you can get pet passports although it's a pain in the arse.  Does Australia have those?

Anyway, so what happened?  Did they shoot the pooches?  Or did Johnny Depp piss off in a huff?

Still 20 hours to go. The Guardian has a dog death countdown clock. (http://www.theguardian.com/film/australia-news-blog/2015/may/14/johnny-depps-dogs-must-bugger-off-to-us-or-face-death-after-entering-australia-illegally)

We don't have pet passports AFAIK. It's all a lengthy quarantine-based system designed to discourage the transfer of animals. I've never used it, but I know people who have.

We don't have the animal, plant or farm diseases found in other parts of the world and our native flora and fauna are pretty unique (see marsupials). So our border security comes with heavy penalties for bringing in even a piece of fruit or meat. Animals here evolved without the threat of large land-going predators. The only wild canines, called dingoes, are believed to have arrived with humans during an ice age. They are losing their genetic identity due to interbreeding with dogs. Feral cats, dogs and foxes introduced by Europeans are a problem that is aggressively managed, as they feast and thrive in an ecosystem that doesn't understand them.

Once had to endure a 10 minute lecture from a customs agent over an unopened bag of Cran-raisins in my carry on. Had to smile , nod and go on my way. What I really wanted to say was: 'Yes you ginormous fuckwit, I know, I'm from here, have the fucking bag, I don't care. It's 1am in the morning, I've been on a plane for 22 hours, so have my wife and child and my family is 50m away on the other side of that door I'm trying to get through if you'd just fucking shutup'.

Anyways, kill the fucking dogs.

Why is this a story?

You can't compare Australia to Europe. As already mentioned in this thread, Australia has a unique ecosystem and foreign animals wreaked havoc on Australias nature multiple times. Therefore there are strict laws in place. This not being the celebrity-fellating place the US is, those laws are for everyone, especially when those laws exist for a good reason. End of story.

Differences between Australia and Europe are also irrelevant anyway. Rich cunt considers laws don't apply to him. They should kill the dogs *and* kick Depp out of the country. Or the other way round, whatever.

 :awesome_for_real:

1. Links are to Australian newspapers/sources.  US policy/Americans aren't really mentioned, especially considering Depp actually was a resident of France for quite a while... until he came back to avoid French tax.

2. To generalize, I'd say Americans are far more psycho about no-kill shelters/humane treatment of (cuddly) animals than other places...  Hollywood/entertainment even more so with the "no animals were harmed in filming" stuff.  If it is a thing here, it's the killing someone's pets thing as opposed to some kind of celebrity worship thing.

No, no, no.  No dog killing.  Kill the cunt instead and give the dogs to a nice family.

I see, so they are just people that think its ok to potentially wreak havoc on an entire continent because the dogs look cute. Thats an entirely different kind of stupid. I stand corrected.  :awesome_for_real:

The dogs were flown out. No doggie death squad needed.

Crisis averted by doing the sane thing. Imagine that.

We're Americans.  We can't.

That's kinda funny, considering you are one of those invasive species that wreaked havoc on an entire continent...

 :why_so_serious:

 :ye_gods:

In case it wasn't obvious, I meant that as a funny (my sense of humor not necessarily being -- funny that is).

It just strikes me as, well, funny that as people we are the most invasive species around, and we tend to look at whatever the ecology is when we show up to be almost perfect, just needing more humans to be truly right.

I completely agree, so you should probably rethink your position.

That being said I can appreciate Australia's concern that a species of animal that doesn't have poison that causes agonizing paralysis at the very least might be introduced into their ecology. Once you let in one non-deadly, non-aggressive species it's all over.

Rabbits aren't venomous or poisonous. They didn't work out so well.

See also: cane toads, cats, foxes, and about a hundred others (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Invasive_species_in_Australia).

Bringing Carp over wasn't really smart either

How did they bring Carp over you ask? Well

(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/04/01/09/27302C3800000578-0-image-a-1_1427877094434.jpg)

(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2010/09/07/article-1309880-0B11B738000005DC-848_634x434.jpg)

We're gonna need a bigger aquarium.

I think it's fairly obvious that despite being neither venomous nor natural predators, if allowed to breed unchecked Depps could cause untold damage.

Best. FIFY. Ever.

Anyhow, glad everything worked out for the best -- dogs not shot, Australian ecology not further wrecked, and Depp has to get his blowjobs elsewhere. Win win.

Although, now that apocrypha mentions it, a post apocalyptic setting where everything has Johnny Depps face is ripe for the making...

Its not the fact their dogs, its the fact that dogs in other countries (can) have a lot of diseases and such that Australia does not have.

Noting having rabies is kind of nice, so we treat it pretty seriously.

I'm aware of that, sadly all plans against Human overpopulation I would support are both highly illegal and completely amoral. So I have to settle for not inflicting more human beings on this earth and not traveling to Australia myself. Its not much, but everything else would be mad Scientist territory.  :awesome_for_real:

Just fucking colonise Mars already.

We could always just say we're ready to colonise Mars and send all the poor/rich (delete according to political leanings) there anyway. It's probably still in mad scientist territory but we'd have solved the overpopulation problem  :why_so_serious:

Sorry I wasn't clear enough. I meant that they didn't want any non-deadly species introduced into Australia since it's Harry Harrison's Deathworld, it just happens to be a continent instead of a planet.

That carp is awesome though.