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Title: Have no fear, Uri Geller is here! Post by: Shockeye on March 08, 2005, 04:02:19 PM Quote from: Reuters Psychic offers aid to cursed city (http://www.news.com.au/story/0,10117,12489980-23109,00.html) From correspondents in London March 09, 2005 From: Reuters SPOON-bending Israeli psychic Uri Geller has offered to single-handedly save a northern English city that many residents believe has been cursed. The people of the city of Carlisle on the Scottish border say the recent inscription on a large lump of polished granite of an ancient curse has brought down on their heads floods, pestilence and sporting humiliation. "I have offered to take the stone off their hands, put it in my garden and exorcise it," Geller told Reuters. "The Domesday book records an ancient healing centre in my village and all the ley lines converge on my garden." Carlisle councillor Jim Tootle insists that the "Cursing Stone" – inscribed with a 16th century curse against robbers, blackmailers and highwaymen – be destroyed or removed. Since its installation in 2001 in one of the city's museums, misfortune has plagued the city. Livestock herds were wiped out by foot-and-mouth disease, there has been a devastating flood, factories have closed, a boy was murdered in a local bakery and Carlisle United soccer team dropped a league. Geller was sanguine over how the residents of his small village of Sonning-on-Thames about an hour west of London would take the arrival of the curse if Carlisle council takes him up on his offer. "I believe the curse can be exorcised. I will use my pendulum and cleanse the stone of any evil forces. After that I would like to keep it in my garden. It is a work of art," he said. Title: Re: Have no fear, Uri Geller is here! Post by: MaceVanHoffen on March 08, 2005, 04:05:51 PM The Scottish should really just stick to making Scotch, making beer, and invading the English. Things make a lot more sense when you're invading the English.
Title: Re: Have no fear, Uri Geller is here! Post by: WayAbvPar on March 08, 2005, 04:06:08 PM Hopefully James Randi will show up and piss on the lot of them.
Title: Re: Have no fear, Uri Geller is here! Post by: Abagadro on March 08, 2005, 04:32:54 PM They just need to sacrifice a male Bundy.
Title: Re: Have no fear, Uri Geller is here! Post by: Sky on March 09, 2005, 06:21:20 AM There is no spoon.
Title: Re: Have no fear, Uri Geller is here! Post by: Ironwood on March 09, 2005, 07:20:41 AM The Scottish should really just stick to making Scotch, making beer, and invading the English. Things make a lot more sense when you're invading the English. Shut the fuck up you stupid wanker. Oh, and re-read it please, you douche. Note the interesting 'Northern English Town.' Now go and fuck yourself. You C*nt. (Ahhh, it's good to release your inner Scot sometime. And then get banned for it....) Title: Re: Have no fear, Uri Geller is here! Post by: Paelos on March 09, 2005, 07:34:04 AM If we started banning Scots or people with Scottish tempers, we'd all be in the sin bin eventually.
Title: Re: Have no fear, Uri Geller is here! Post by: HaemishM on March 09, 2005, 08:04:59 AM If we started banning Scots-like behaviour, I'm sure I'd be the first merry kilt-waver shoved out the airlock.
And that story must not have been written by a true Englishmen. Because if it had been, this would have been in bold letters, probably even in the headline. Quote Carlisle United soccer team dropped a league. [/size]Title: Re: Have no fear, Uri Geller is here! Post by: MaceVanHoffen on March 09, 2005, 11:15:59 AM The Scottish should really just stick to making Scotch, making beer, and invading the English. Things make a lot more sense when you're invading the English. Shut the fuck up you stupid wanker. Oh, and re-read it please, you douche. Note the interesting 'Northern English Town.' Now go and fuck yourself. You C*nt. (Ahhh, it's good to release your inner Scot sometime. And then get banned for it....) LOL ... I totally thought Carlisle was in Scotland prior to reading the article, hence I zoned out on the location. You may now send the kilt-wearing hordes to descend upon me. |