f13.net

Because this story about how a virgin didn't actually find love (oops did I give away the ending) with a self centered pycho with a 2 inch dick, is the greatest "romance" series  since Twilight. AND IT'S NOW A MOVIE!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SfZWFDs0LxA (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SfZWFDs0LxA)

I'm going to go out on a limb and say this movie is not going to be half as good as Secretary (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YmSO07r_zTc).

FTFY.

I don't know, could've been great if they found someone everyone wanted to see naked to star in it and then proceed to get her naked for half the movie.

Too bad they didn't. Hell, I'd have rather seen Charlie Hunman in this movie instead of the two lumps of barely passable flesh they have now.

It will be if you are a sexually repressed soccer mom or a woman under 25 with little to no life experience.  Kind of like Twilight. :awesome_for_real:

I hear it's an excellent how-to manual on "Getting into an abusive relationship" followed by "Also, here's a list of ways to get seriously fucked up in the head playing kinky games".

Besides, as noted -- if I wanted to watch a good movie about kink, I'd go watch Secretary again.

Fifty Shades of Grey is shit, and the movie will be worse.

I read and enjoyed the books. They were terribly written, but had this freaky compelling quality--possibly because they were originally written in cliffhanger blog posts. Also, by erotic romance standards, they're pretty mild. Yes, the relationship is severely dysfunctional and he's a controlling asshole and there's the whole toxic redemption of the bad boyfriend through love thing going on, but that's not exactly unheard of in romance fiction. Some of the abuse claims are overdone. Yes, she flees after he canes the crap out of her, but she did ask him and had a safeword she didn't use.

I think Jezebel  (http://jezebel.com/fifty-shades-real-problem-jamie-dornan-is-hotter-than-1610145450?utm_campaign=socialflow_jezebel_facebook&utm_source=jezebel_facebook&utm_medium=socialflow)latched onto the real problem for the movie right off: the actor isn't nearly as hot in the trailer as he is in real life. Really in the trailer, more psycho than hot.

This is my favorite review of the book, for those interested.  :grin:

http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/340987215

I suspect this movie isn't made for any of us.

The book was basically a several hundred page submission to Penthouse Letters.

Brilliant! I'm Facebooking that.  :grin:

Me too, even though I have no idea who the two lumps are.  

(http://i.imgur.com/GHtcw9c.jpg)

I'll be here a while.

Still here....

http://time.com/3030375/dave-barry-50-shades-of-grey/

RIIISE!!!

Well its probably gong to be the only thing that does.

So the move s out n a couple of weeks, and apparently the press tour has run into a few snags

1) The Leads obviously cant stand one another. Which is not a big deal, not every romance move made involved actors that actually like one another. However...
2) They LOATH the movie they are being paid to promote and they hate the stuff the had to do to one another in said move.
3) They motherfuckng hate the fans who keep asking them questions about "romance" becasue they know they just made an abuseplotaton flick.
4) The Director hates the move
5) Nope, not a fan of the fans ether.
4) The Writer of the book hates the movie and fought with the director over pretty much everything. Probably becasue her true romance based on her romantic Twilight fanfic was translated into a sexplotaton flick which the book totally wasn't, you know.

So yeah, this has disaster written all over it. I'm sure ts a faithful adaption so the fans will be scream that t wasn't like that in the book, and even the people who made t cant pretend to like the movie... Good times!
 
Here is a collected links to interviews and general awkwardness

http://defamer.gawker.com/50-shades-of-sigh-the-disastrous-50-shades-of-grey-p-1683492446

(http://i.imgur.com/JQgZRJi.jpg)

I don't even know what that is and the wife is addicted to Cusack.

Did it bomb that hard ?

I vaguely remember hearing about it.  Doesn't appear to have great ratings, and I'm guessing the real draw was Roberts and drama-mode Crystal, which means it was completely forgettable.

Also I think John Cusack is the same alien species as Dick Clark.  Or they're Immortals.  I wonder how his sword skills are.

I think I've seen pieces of America's Sweethearts and it didn't seem to stand out at all.

I'm sure it's still better than 50 Shades of Grrrr will ever be.

Place your bets now on when one of my unfunny FB friends will post a "50 Shades of Groot" thing from 9gag.

Ah... You know that's actually a thing right (http://=http://www.themarysue.com/guardians-of-the-galaxy-porn-announced/)?

The betting is now closed.

Heh... penetration.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnGX4FuIK60

This looks better than the original.

In honor of the release of this fine film I instead watched Secretary with the GF. Very enjoyable, if odd and slightly troubling in the depictions of BDSM, but it works in the end and in retrospect. Would recommend Secretary.

It does have the advantage of having James Spader in it. As for the topic, I never read the book and don't plan to see the movie.

Everyone says this, yet both the book and movie are runaway hits.

I don't plan to read the book or see the movie, but I do plan to bump the thread.

Yeah, it's almost as if the various internet forums that attract gamers and the technically adept have a quasi-homogenous culture that doesn't represent the greater breadth  of society.

But that's just crazy talk!

Cinema in Milton Keynes has to be cleared after a drunk woman looses all bodily control, vomits and shits all over the place. (http://www.vice.com/en_uk/read/woman-lost-control-of-everything-during-fifty-shades-screening-675?utm_source=vicetwitteruk)  :ye_gods:

Inside that same article they mention they found a bunch of "soiled cucumbers" on the back seats?  :uhrr: :ye_gods: :uhrr: :ye_gods:

Um... ew.

I read the book, I'll probably torrent the movie.

Why not just get some real porn, it's everywhere.

Must have been the kiddie matinee.  :why_so_serious:

For some people it's not effective as porn unless it's the same porn that everybody else wants.

I thought it was mostly women that liked this stuff but your cultural description works just as well.  :why_so_serious:

Not sure if serious, or the point went woooosh.

Some people are focusing too hard on ethics in game journalism.

To expand on this, a lot of people can only enjoy porn if it's sufficiently mainstream to not have the stigma associated with real porn.

Frankly I think real porn is a lot healthier than this weird shit, but whatever gets your rocks off.