f13.net

He who shall not be named has released his latest game, Line of Defense Tactics, on Steam.  Predictably, he's been "active" on the Steam forums in a way only Serek Dmart can. :awesome_for_real:

http://store.steampowered.com/app/267220/
http://steamcommunity.com/app/267220/discussions/0/558747921939687788/

He is such an unlikable pile of filth.

Oh man just in time for the new tag system.  I can see this only ending well.

"Normally, this is just something I would smirk at and move on". This is a fascinating definition of "normally' from the Destroyer of Coke Machines. Generally normally means, "usually", "frequently", "often". In Dmartese, it seems to mean "almost never".

Serek Dmart

Serek Dmart

Serek Dmart

That bloke must worry about what we'll all do without him when he's dead and gone.


Edited to Add :

In his little follow up where he tries hard to admit he's screwed the pooch, he utters this line :


That's right, folks, he's condoning physical violence against our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ.

 :why_so_serious:

That game has to be in the top 5 worst named games.  I read it as "does a thing, tactics". 

Which is interesting, especially watching the Steam Dev marketing meeting the other day.  The point was made the marketing begins with the name of the game.

From the "Marketing your game", if anyone is interested.  http://www.steamdevdays.com/

This really encompasses it.

Everything I have ever read from the guy has always been aggressively defending against windmills.

Not only that, but implying that Jesus didn't get slapped very hard?  :uhrr:

I watched (a very short slice of) the second video, the game tutorial. "Select attack all" and the gunfire and sounds don't at all match the graphics. Nice.

I'm amazed the Dmart hasn't assaulted KS.

edit: Hah, skimmed the pricing rant. I'm also amazed he hasn't started releasing whale packages for the morons who tell him to charge more. Capitalism rule #1: charge what the market will bear. If someone wants to pay you more money, you charge him more money.

Well, sure, but for fucks sake keep quiet about it.  This whole tempest is just another one of his self-congratulatory wank fests.

He does the whole "don't you know who I am bit" in that wall of text he wrote. Every single person who reads that should immediately stop at that point and never buy anything with his name attached to it ever again.

(https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/85916/once/line_of_defense_steam_tags.png)

"Dev is a Forum Bully" is another good one I saw on there.

Diva Dev... :Love_Letters:

Don't you know who I am? I'm Rick James, Bitch!  :why_so_serious:

I added a post of support to his steam thread, suggesting that his game would be "off the hook" and he should charge $60 because people will pay for quality.  :grin:

I look forward to seeing what happens when he realizes that this time, he's throwing a temper tantrum in front of an audience of millions of jaded gamers, not hundreds of shoe-lickers.

That will just reinforce his "Persecuted Messiah" complex even further.

However, we laugh at him now, but we'll all feel guilty and foolish when he finally makes the Best Game Ever/jumps off a bridge/massacres fifty people/ascends to Godhood.

“Line of Defense Tactics might be a must-have next month”
PocketTactics

 :oh_i_see:

People should be more thankful that he is not raising the price of existing versions to make new versions. Because he totally could and decided against it.  :why_so_serious:

I'm not sure what exactly Valve is doing with the tag system.  The equivalent for a bricks-mortar store would be letting customers put post-it notes on all the product on the shelves saying how bad it is, and then not expecting sales to tank.

Every store should do this.

Imagine Best Buy:
"Sir, I was looking at this laptop, but these sticky notes say it is 'gay' 'dumb' and 'bad'. What's up with that?"
"Well, uhhh..."

You just know that He has fired off a letter of complaint to the Steam management because He can't remove those tags from His product page   :awesome_for_real:

Next up, being able to filter reviews that aren't five stars?

He posted a review and complained about how everyone is trolling him again:

http://steamcommunity.com//id/dsmart/recommended/267220/

This thread would be better if someone with more patience than me would quote the funny parts.

This is his review:


Followed by a lot of negative comments directed at him. He then says this:


And this:


It's pretty much classic Serek. We've seen this all before. I still find it hilarious.

He made it into the Urban Dictionary.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Derek+Smart (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Derek+Smart)

This guy.  :awesome_for_real:

5 of 91 people (5%) found this review helpful

I spoke too soon. They're gone now. (http://store.steampowered.com/app/267220/)

Damm. I might get sued.

What a thin skinned jackass he is.

We are no longer allowed to apply "diva dev".   :awesome_for_real:

He really thinks everyone is out to get him. I think Raylan Givens really says it best:

"If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole."

Hmm. Is Usenet Holy Warrior of Seppuku taken?

I tagged it with "Coke machine killer dev".

He is all over the Steam forums deleting posts and being combative with everyone. So many people have no idea who he is and are floored by his antics. It is glorious.

Valve should really do something about him.  Like "Hey dude, calm the fuck down or we're taking you're shitty tablet port off of Steam."  I've never seen a dev get so butthurt about legit critics and trolls as he does.

Windmills are serious business, though. You pretty much have to do something about them because nobody else sees the importance of this stuff. You have to fight them. You have to fight them all the time. It's really thankless work but they have to be stopped.

Steamcharts (http://steamcharts.com/app/267220) has some interesting things to say about this game.  :why_so_serious:

(http://i.imgur.com/CmpZkuR.png)

Ha ha. 4 people playing now. 25 people playing concurrently was the all-time best. On the entire world.

With that sort of numbers involved it makes sense as Dev to address your players directly.  :grin:

Either I'm blind or they took the forums down....

He cannot write a review for his own game, but he can still occupy the review area so to bump off a few negative ones.

(https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/3584773/Derek%20Smart%20review.png)

The dude walks around with a portable cross.

It's still there, there's just no link to it from the store page:

http://steamcommunity.com/app/267220/discussions/

So, I reported his review for being by a developer since he said they weren't allowed...and now it's gone.  :awesome_for_real:

Now he's invaded Massively's comment thread.

http://massively.joystiq.com/2014/02/14/mmobility-line-of-defense-tactics-is-a-fun-start-for-an-ip/

How does he have any time in the day to do his job when he's trolling the internet looking for trouble?

I dunno why everyone doesn't think this owns. It's a whole new generation of gamers being introduced to Serek Dmart.

Well, it's nice to know that some traditions remain intact. But seriously, it's kind of depressing that he just doesn't seem to learn. I really believe that people can improve and often do over the course of their lives.

I think you've hit upon the reason why his games aren't well received in the first place  :why_so_serious:

Hm.


 :awesome_for_real:

I think we've found your custom forum title.

"Trolled Serek Dmart" is kind of like saying, "Alive and capable of forming complete sentences" or "Sun came up in the east yesterday". It happens whether you try to do it.