f13.net

US $1,025.00

I'm blown away.

If it was something valuable inside, the fucker would have just put it up as an actual item.  Since he's doing it this way, it's probably a fucking sandwich or something.

And we can all picture what that would look like when it got to your door...assuming it even got through the mail.

"I have now been completely swamped with hundreds of questions and am getting bribes from all over from concert tickets and free tires to wives, a tropical gold fish and some girls bi-sexual boyfriend, just to say what's in the envelope."

Fucking brilliant scam.  Lucky bastard.

Bruce

Stripper Selling Infamous Breast Implant on EBay (http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=573&ncid=757&e=1&u=/nm/20050302/od_nm/odd_breast_dc)

MIAMI (Reuters) - A former topless dancer who was famously cleared of battering a Florida nightclub patron with her "crazy big" breasts has shed her oversized silicone implants and put one of them up for auction on eBay.

The woman known professionally as Tawny Peaks said on Wednesday she recently came across the implants in a box in her closet after watching a television discussion about crazy things sold on eBay and decided, "Why not ... I don't need it any more."

"Somebody might bid on it. It's like the first boob to be sued over in a lawsuit," she said.

Peaks said she would autograph the auctioned implant for the winner but would keep its mate "for good measure."

She explained that she had her size 69-HH implants removed and underwent breast reduction surgery in 1999 after retiring from the business to start a new life.

"They were like really big, crazy big," said Peaks, who described herself as a happily married homemaker and mother of three now living in the Detroit area.

Peaks won notoriety in 1998 when a man sued her and her employer, the Diamond Dolls nightclub in Clearwater, Florida, saying he suffered a whiplash injury when she swung her breasts into his face at a bachelor party. He said they were "like two cement blocks."

The parties accepted binding arbitration on "The People's Court" television show and the judge, former New York City Mayor Ed Koch, ordered a female bailiff to examine Peaks in private.

The bailiff found the breasts to be "soft" and to weigh about 2 pounds (0.9 kg) each. Koch ruled they were not dangerous and refused to award damages.

The implant auction ends on Saturday. So far Peaks has received 10 bids, topping out at $71, according to the eBay Web site.

Acer Laptop – Like Used – Slightly Shotguned (http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=26266&item=6750430437&rd=1&ssPageName=WDVW)

RetroDuck.com has been experimenting with new ways to eliminate Spyware from our company computers. This endeavor has cost us hundreds of man hours, and a ridiculous number of computers. On this particular laptop, we researched a combination of verbal vulgarity and 12 gauge shotgun shells. The results of our research will be published in our forth coming book, “Spyware Go Bye Bye.” Own this piece of RD R & D history.

CNN reported that the casino paid $28K (I know that eBay says $7600) and that they just purchased a BVM pretzle for $10K.  Most companies purchase things like art... what sort of collection is this?

Buy some dignity. (http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&rd=1&item=5564395214&ssPageName=STRK:MEWA:IT)

Wear one at E3 and impress all your friends. (http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=3964981699)

Anyone care to explain the origins of goatse.cx?

Like, wtf...why does it end in .cx?

Goddamn, I'd wear that to e3. That is beautiful.

Perfect for morning coffee. (http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=7310417280)

I guess someone can't stop beating a dead horse. (http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=19270&item=5565432905&rd=1)

SpongeBob McNugget (http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=6522230907)

I think I know where souls go after death (http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=1469&item=5566217149&rd=1&ssPageName=WDVW).

I think I know where souls go after death (http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=1469&item=5566217149&rd=1&ssPageName=WDVW).

Eleven fucking grand for that thing. Wow.

Oh Batman! (http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=30&item=5966913250&rd=1&ssPageName=WDVW)

Yeah, I'm pretty pissed that $42 is all 38 gigs of pr0n is going for. I mean, what's the world coming to?

Apparently, lots and lots of pr0n.

If you don't bid, you hate Jesus. (http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=5573273501&rd=1&sspagename=STRK:MEWA:IT&rd=1)

This is a SERIOUS auction and there is no need for an elaborate listing so I will keep it short and simple.



This is your chance to prove your faith by placing a bid towards Jesus.


Why would you do such a thing, one might question?


Because Jesus gave his life, his existence back to the world, he died for our sins... and now it's time to show just how much we as humanitarians appreciate his inherent kindness and giving.


We now have the oppurtunity to show the entire world, via this online auction viewed by thousands, just how much Jesus means to us.



I understand that no monetary value can ever actually be placed on the virtue of our holy father, and I would never ask such.


I instead, wish to determine just how much people would be willing to give of their own lives, the way Jesus did his, to the monikor that is the King of Kings and Son of Man.



I will begin the auction at a mere $0.01 as I don't expect anyone to offer more than they honestly and benevolently feel worthy. Be it half a dollar or $10 to spare, I would like to find out how much our savior truly means to us in this day and age in comparisson to the significance of our fiscal possessions.


Understand that the value placed on our Lord and Messiah is merely an allegory for where we as a devoted society stand.
It is purely a symbolic metaphor.



Regardless of your religious background or belief, we all feel some sense of devotion towards the good shepherd.


Place a bid of faith now, if you feel it fitting... Let us know how much our Lord Jesus Christ means to you.



Please note: The only thing that you will receive from this auction apart from the purist sense of satisfaction and fullfillment, is a thank you note and certificate acknowledging your bid toward Jesus' legacy. This auction is essentially an established donation to the nobility of our great Lord and Savior. It is a statement and testament of who we are.


Good Luck & G-d Bless!!

schild is probably thinking about how to pay for this right now (http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&Item=6528657900&Category=43337)

I liked the startrek control panel.

VINTAGE MEDICAL CHAIR CIRCA 1933!!

You are bidding on a Medical Exam Chair formally owned by a family physician until acquired by me in the early 1970’s. This chair is the perfect conception contraption! It would look great in your game room, dungeon or even the family room if that is where you want to expand your family! This is one heck of a conversation piece, you will be the talk of the neighborhood. All the neighbors’ wives will be envious! Also a must have for any true collector of medical artifacts!

Upholstered for a comfortable ride, this chair is perfectly sized for blow up dolls or dolls that blow! This chair was built for speed and there are still a lot of screws left in it! Oh Yeah!! Those stirrups are adjustable in height and orientation to provide an angle to match your dangle!! This chair is multifunctional with casters, it is ready to roll onto your pickup truck or just down the street to the neighbor’s next swinging party!

This chair is in fair condition considering it’s age. As far as I know, it has not been refinished. The original finish appears to be a wood toned paint and the upholstery is in real good shape so it probably has been replaced at some point. There is some pitting on the silver finished parts, we do not know if they could be re-chromed or not. The casters which it rolls on have seen better days but the sockets which the casters fit into appear standard so new casters could be purchased very inexpensively at a local hardware store. We recommend the locking type casters so the subject does not roll away during your best moment!!

The whole chair could be easily whipped into shape if you were not worried about value as a vintage item. Just don’t spray paint it and then haul it down to the Antique Road Show expecting much! The appraisers get crazy when people do that, and that is why we have not touched it!!!

And now the difficult stuff! This chair weighs probably 100 to 150 pounds and will be difficult to ship! We will gladly put it in the back of our truck and deliver anywhere within 150 miles of Atlanta, no charge! If you are not local, you will need to make crating and shipping arrangements in Atlanta and we will deliver it to the crate and ship firm of your choice. Or heck, grab your significant other, climb in your pickup truck and come get it yourself!

VINTAGE GYNECOLOGICAL MEDICAL CHAIR CIRCA 1933!!
THE DESPERATE HOUSEWIFE'S ABSOLUTE DREAM FURNISHING!! (http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&Item=5583237576)

This actually impressed me slightly. (http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=19000&item=5976762881&rd=1&ssPageName=WDVW)

OSI should take it back. What a fucking douchebag.

ROFL Waffles (http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=5591163987&rd=1&sspagename=STRK:MEWA:IT&rd=1)

Star Wars Girlfriend Wants the Kiss of Your Lightsaber! (http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=5213360388&fromMakeTrack=true#ebayphotohosting)

I'm 5'3, 98lbs,

Well, Sally COULD take care of the Jabba portion of the fantasy.

I'm just a blonde and sometimes it takes me a while to put the whole saga together but maybe you can coach me?

I decided I would attempt to build the kids their dream swing set myself.  First, I needed to collect lumber to build the frame.  So I thought I could use some trees from our back yard.  Next, I would have to duct tape everything together.  My wife thought it would be fun to document my project and get some more photos for my portfolio.  Once I saw the camera my modeling instincts took over.  I had no control!  It was then I realized I had to hang up my tool belt.

Hanging Up My Tool Belt To Be America's Top Model (http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=1469&item=5593190358&rd=1)

Not Brain Safe

Hey Schock!

Get your Minature (http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=6548629965&category=1450&ssPageName=WDVW&rd=1)

I can now buy my own vampire killing kit. (http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=5600591477&category=1469&rd=1)

Question: How can you sell a "Vampire Killing Kit" with no wooden stakes?

Question: Dear Sir, From watching "From Dusk Til Dawn" I learned that holy water (in a water squirt gun) proved to be extremely effective in fighting vampires. Would you consider including some holy water, and maybe some sort of delivery mechanism (super soaker, et al) in the kit? I can see it being highly useful. I would gladly pay an extra $50 or so for some official holy water. Thanks -Joebar

I would gladly pay an extra $50 or so for some official holy water. Thanks -Joebar

Why walk when you have... DigiBless!! (http://www.digibless.com/)

Not really stupid but this is the ebay thread... (http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=5993791857)

Very stupid.

Very stupid.

And someone would buy this because...? (http://cgi.ebay.com/69-Pictures-of-my-Very-HOT-Ex-Girlfriend-SEXY_W0QQitemZ5618645724QQcategoryZ1469QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem)

And someone would buy this because...? (http://cgi.ebay.com/69-Pictures-of-my-Very-HOT-Ex-Girlfriend-SEXY_W0QQitemZ5618645724QQcategoryZ1469QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem)