f13.net

For those of you who don't read Corp-

 This has to be a joke, right? (http://everquest2.station.sony.com/pizza/)

My brain hurts.

Feel free to move this to the EQ2 forum if you think it is better suited there, or to the Den if someone has beaten me to the punch and already posted this  :-D

That's a fascinating advertising tie-in. It'd be even neater if it crashed the game 30 minutes after you place your order.

You don't want pizza sauce on your keyboard, right?

The level of corporate whoredom is pretty amazing. Good to know they had time to code this in rather than fix [giant fuckup of the week].  When Pepisco comes with the green, they find the time.

If any of you were ever under the impression you are anything to SOE other than a walking wallet, this should disabuse you of that notion.

Way, I'd agree other than the mammoth size of the patches that have added content at an unbelieveable rate and for the most part - have worked near flawlessly. They have time to code /pizza in for 2 reasons - it probably took 5 minutes, they probably compiled it with other shit, and they know how to - at the very least - RUN an MMOG.

True, but the same could be said for any number of small improvements (I don't play EQ2, but I am damned sure it ain't perfect yet). They had to have someone write it, have someone test it, and have someone implement it. Not more than a few man hours total (NOTHING ever gets done perfectly the first time in the software world), but still. The naked greed showing through is just distasteful.

Plus, SOE is an easy target. Maybe if you order enough pizzas they will revamp SWG smugglers for you!

Heh... they were talking about this in beta.  I didn't believe it at first either. 

This wouldn't be a big deal for me if I still played....I could just as easily alt-tab and order from papajohns.com or whatever....

It would be Really nifty if it created a timer for you, and sounded an alarm around the time that your pizza was due....or to be 1337, if this could somehow be coded into the game to eliminate the need to launch a browser window, and also send you feedback when your pizza was done and had been sent out for delivery.

Then  I would be impressed.

This is quite different than actual in-game advertising. How pissed would you be if there was a rotating billboard in your instanced apartment that changed every time you went in it? That would be a bit tooooooooooo much.

After I got over the initial shock, I think the only thing that really bothers me is that it's Pizza Hut.  Fucking nasty-ass goddamn shit-laced Pizza Hut.  Now, if it were good pizza offered in-game... I'd forgive it.  Since it's EQ2 anyway, and pizza is the least of its sins.

This is classic Pizza Hut marketing. It goes along with their plan to project a Pizza Hut logo on the moon with a laser, delivering pizza to the international space station, and having a giant floating Pizza Hut box target in the path of the Mir space station breakup.

And look, here we are talking about Pizza hut. Guess the marketing works. Are you sure Pizza Hut isn't owned by Virgin?

That's one way of looking at it... but if I were in the marketing business, I'd be more interested in people buying my product than about people talking about it.

But America will always be full of idiots.  And idiots will always eat garbage like Pizza Hut.

This reminds me a lot of the time when, way back in EQ1, that stupid Gems game was implemented.  It was a minigame you could play, ostensibly during downtime.  Just fire up the /gems command and away you go.

At that same time, many players (me included) were asking that major issues be addressed, such as bard songs in the end game and the incredible amount of downtime at even some of the lower levels.  We seemed to be getting some dev attention, and then .... the EQ boards were shutdown and we got Gems added to the game.  Reduce downtime?  Address longstanding issues?  Nah.  Just play Gems!

Now, I accept SOE's version of events:  It was a developer who coded it over the weekend in his free time, or some such.  It follows then that I accept that Gems didn't take away much development time from the main source tree.  That really isn't the point.  Implementing features intended to act as a baby rattle for players instead of making the game better ... that's the point.

The /pizza command sounds like this all over again.  One more reason I swim in a non-SOE, superhero-infested pond these days.

As long as it doesn't pop up in the middle of my screen when I'm playing, I'm fine with advertising.

Something to remember is that all of Sony's divisions/subsidiaries not specifically set up as research centers are expected to run in the black.  SOE has a lot of people on the payroll, and their San Diego office (the largest) is in a bidding war with Sigil for manpower.  If EQ2 didn't sell as well as they had hoped, or if it cannibalized from EQ1 and SWG more than they expected, they might be at risk of ending the fiscal year in the red.  Bad things happen to divisions that do that in Sony.

--Dave

"After a 6 hour TF I wanted to kick back and relax with a Full House XL Pizza™ from the Pizza Hut in Steel Canyon, but the bastards were closed."

(http://jimala.com/pizzacoh1.jpg)

........... sometimes, I hate.

It got me thinking. Usually I am pretty good with not doing too much MMOGing, but sometimes I go into catass mode for a day or two. And even if I'm not in catass mode there's often nothing in the house and I cbf'd being put on hold (the phone is away from computers and not cordless). What if you could type /catass and X food-place-that-delivers gets paid out of your CC by the MMOG company and then delivers your regular order (or you could type it in like "/catass sm chicken-bacon w/ olives, pepsimax") to your door and then they send you a message ingame when it arrives?

Am I the only one that thinks the idea would kick ass?

Eh, I'm spoiled by this little takeout place near me called Mickey's.  Coney dogs, chili fries, subs, pizzas, burgers, you name it.  Best of all, they deliver.  And once you've been a repeat customer they'll even deliver cigarettes and beer (you have to be a good tipper to get this treatment, though).

I've gone the lazy man's route and ordered from them way, way too often.

There was a place like that when I lived in Surbiton.  Well, at least I thought it was like that.  Righ finally figured out it was a taxi cab company.  Heh.  They had a nice slant on it, though.

By the way... what is a coney dog?

It's a big hotdog with chili, cheese, and onions on it.

Eww.  Sounds dangerous for your colon.

I wouldn't recommend eating one when you work in a confined area with lots of people.

FIRE IN THE HOLE!

Well, it IS SOE. Welcome to the Smedley era, where you never have to log out of the game to eat!

The funny part about this is I knew a guy that used to play miniature games before EQ1 came out. Then he got EQ1 and disa-fucking-ppeared. The last I heard, he had the pizza delivery guy trained; he would call up and order, leave money on the counter and the door unlocked. Pizza guy would come in, drop off the pie, take the money and leave. Dude was waiting for someone to come up behind him and pop a cap in his dome.

Of course, playing that much EQ, he could'nt have had much in the house to steal other than BO and used up pizza bones.

I've seen crack whores with more dignity than this shows. Yes, SOE has had massive, unfucked patches on EQ2 (other than that 48-hour downtime thing). Too bad that the things wrong with that game cannot be patched out.

Next on the agenda: 

Buy 10 orders of DippinStrips (tm), and earn a coupon redeemable for your choice of a free EQ2 poster or a mouse pad!

Or could they go so far as free in-game items?

Of course, me thinks that SoE has not properly analyzed the affect on retention rates... If enough of their catassing customers order enough pizzas, there will be a statistically noticeable dip in subscription figures as the DippinStrips and other cheese-and-meat-covered bread byproducts take their inevitable arterial toll.  I suppose your average fatass catass might survive for a few years though, which might be enough for the expected lifespan of EQ2.

Pizza boots?

Looks like MMORPG players are going to get fatter   :wink:

This is the height of tastelessness - no pun.

Now, I would respect SoE if they partnered with a major national gym chain, to offer discounts for EQ2 players, along with special treadmills outfitted for exercise gaming.  Shit, I just lost my opportunity to sell them this idea.

And, somehow I suspect one would not get positive attention from babes, for being the guy who's always hogging the EQ2 machine.

Maybe in whatever hellhole you come from, but cheese on a coney is fucking blasphemy to me.  All Michiganders know that the true coney is dog (and the dog must be natural skinned), chili, onions and mustard.  I've had a lot of problems with getting southerners to understand the crucial balance that must be maintained in order to craft the perfect coney dog.

It's a misunderstood art in the south, meanwhile they go in for culinary abominations like grits and have never even heard of a ponczki.  Fat tuesdays are difficult.

O my God,
I am heartily sorry for
having offended Thee,
and I detest all my sins,
because I dread the loss of Heaven,
and the pains of Hell;
but most of all because
they offend Thee, my God,
Who are all good and
deserving of all my love.
I firmly resolve,
with the help of Thy grace,
to confess my sins,
to do penance,
to amend my life,
to sin no more, and
to avoid the near occasion of sin.

"No such thing as bad press" and all that jazz...

...and never try to discuss people's taste in pizza.  If you put ten people in a room and asked them what their favorite pizza was, you'd probably end up with ten different answers, and maybe a fistfight.  The pizza you like, someone else hates; while that guy over in the corner thinks you're both out of your fucking minds.  Etc, etc.

What they need is to partner up with a mobile car wash chain (http://www.carwashguys.com/index2.html) so that they can hose down the catasses periodicly.

Thanks for the update. We have a place in Atlanta called "The Varsity" which makes chili dogs exactly like this. It's also the world's biggest drive-thru. Also, grits are good and whatever polish thing you just named is not normal here. In other news, we have better food here than in Michigan.

PS - Die in a coney fire  :wink:

Hey, if the /pizza command could get Abate's Pizza in New Haven, CT to deliver to me in Mississippi in thirty minutes or less, I'd buy and play EQ2.

But Pizza Hut? Fuck that. I can put mozza cheese on a slice of cardboard myself.

Maybe the next thing would be to replace the DING! you hear when leveling with a POUND ONE, BITCH! sound effect.

In our latest expansion we've opened up the Starbucks Inn where players can buy stat boosting lattes for ridiculous prices.

Food and cartoons certainly seem to evoke passion around here.

Hey, I'd reup for a month if someone made such a UI mod for EQ2.

I saw "pizza boobs" at first.

Mmmmmm, pizza boobs.

Think their logo could fit on a shield?

If there's ever a /redeye, I'm going to achieve an erection.

Insert goatse.cx griefpic here.

[Shockeye] I took care of the insertion for you.

(http://eleph.antville.org/static/eleph/images/goatse_cookies.jpg)

A public service announcement:

http://www.adcritic.com/interactive/view.php?id=5927

Thanks for that Signe.

Oddly though, I'm desperate for some pizza now.  It must be that Buffalo Pizza Schild linked, this, and pizza boobs.  Hehe, so much for peppered steak tonight!  Mushrooms, garlic, basil and extra tomato sauce on a thin crust, mmmm.

Yeah Signe, that was awesome. :)

Bruce

Pure genius.

Here's a CNN story on it...

http://money.cnn.com/2005/02/17/commentary/game_over/column_gaming/?cnn=yes

Here's the part that gets me:

Still, Mitch Davis, Massive's CEO, said he suspects gamers will come to welcome the ads.

"Over 90 percent of gamers think advertising is a net positive for gaming because it adds realism,"

Wha? Is that 90% from the "pulled the number out of my ass" method of statistics?  I'll believe it for a NASCAR game.

I love it when people just make shit up.

Can the gaming community bring in a class-action lawsuit against him for slander or something? I resent being described as a corporate whore.

Over 90% of gamers think Mitch Davis is clueless.
Or maybe have a game where you can take a half hour off and not screw your friends over? A game where you actually take a dinner break, for crissake. The industry has a bad enough rap without mainstreamers thinking you can't even go get dinner while playing.
I want a list of those fucking games...daddy needs to boycott.
Because the Goop goofs on marketing tools like you and is funny. The Gap is whorish. Only a marketer can't see that.
Well, there it is, anyway. Goddamned greedy whore capitalists. Makes me ill.

http://www.gamespot.com/news/2005/02/24/news_6119195.html

"Just a month ago, Massive nabbed $10 million in funding and stated that it was working with eight game publishers, including Ubisoft, Atari, and Vivendi Universal, on deals like the one announced today with Funcom."

It's going to get much worse before it's over. Pizza was just a drop in the bucket.

I don't mind ads that fit in with the world. But /pizza in EQ2? No stretch of the imagination will get you that far. There's whoring, and then there's blatant, on your knees whoring.

It's probably more appropriate in something like CoH... as long as they can fly it to you in under 30 seconds.

I guess that's why Funcom gave away all those free year long accounts, I was wondering how they intended to pay for that. I'm sure someone will start writing a little program to block the ads like they already do with Flash in web browsers. If it's as simple as replacing an image on your hard drive you could even have some fun with it.

(http://www.massiveincorporated.com/site_images/map2.gif)
I wonder how long it will take for these "Massive Inc" people to strip that contact image off of their website.

Yes there are cases where it fits. Like I mentioned earlier, if you were playing some sort of NASCAR game, you probably want to see real sponsors on your cars.  But crap like this in a fantasy game just destroys any sense of immersion.  It was bad enough when GMs spammed EQ with offers for the latest SOE product.

People wouldn't be happy if Lord of the Rings had Apple product placements.

Mmm, Gimli's Ipod Shuffle of Uruk Slaying.

I'll wager blocking the ads is as simple as adding the ad company domain name to the hosts file and pointing it to 127.0.0.1. Only a small portion of people will ever do that though.

Except for current Apple users, who would probably cream their sweatpants in excitement to see further proof that they aren't alone.  Everyone else seems to find Apple ads annoying as fuck.  Seems like a bass-ackwards marketing strategy if you ask me.

They could sneak an iBook into Bag-End or something.  Wouldn't one bit be surprised if at least one marketing hack pitched it.

CNN chimes in. (http://www.cnn.com/2005/TECH/fun.games/02/28/sony.pizza.order.ap/index.html)

From the article-


Many folks asked for/predicted this. I wonder how Sony will feel when Fatty McCatass's credit card gets declined for his monthly billing because he ordered 25 pizzas last month?

Think they will introduce:

/Pizza Target

This orders a pizza to the recipient in your reticule which is then charged to your account.

How about:

/Guild Pizza

This orders a small pizza to each guild member at the expense of the character typing the command.

Or

/Toppings <elements>

Like your game settings, this sets your default topping preferences.

I mean, it's a whole new dimension to the game  :lol:

Rumor has it that Pizza hut will not charge for extra cheese  8-)

Well, Apple should jump in with some iTunes.

Let's just get it overwith and put a morphine release into their arms every time they ding.

You're thinking small.  I imagine a man who buys a large pizza for himself every night for two years.  He dies of the obligatory heart attack, and his family sues Sony for not having warnings about the health effect of eating 730 pizzas.

It would only happen if SOE offered in-game bonuses for buying these pizzas as a marketing gimmick. Like you get cash rewards or something in-game for every pizza you buy. That might be reason enough for a negligence lawsuit.

For every 10 pizzas you order, get 1 plat free!.  Order 100 pizzas, and get this exclusive pizza hut chef's hat free!

You could also over charge the pizza's slightly.

That's money in the bank right there.  Maybe someone should come up with a UI Mod for Papa John's.

You're thinking too logically. We're talking about the bereaved families of catasses too ashamed to admit their loved one died for being a lazy slug and a genetic dead-end. They'd sue Mary Poppins if they thought they could get a check out of it.

It's a disease I have.

AH HA!

I knew that was you Nimoy!

(http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/1475000/images/_1477234_spock150.jpg)