f13.net

March 31st is the deadline to play your game before I advance the day.  Report results in this thread.  A league has been set up under BBManager with the password: elfbowl.


The rules:


Standings
Keebler Division
1. Haute Couture (Ruvaldt) (HiE)                        1-0-1 (3pts, 5TD)
2. Labor Day (Llyse) (HiE)                                  1-0-0 (3pts, 3TDs)
2. I Break Easy (Ulysees) (WoE)                         1-0-0 (3pts, 3TDs)
3. Elf Hatred (Gruntle) (DaE)                              1-0-1 (3pts, 2TDs)
4. The Pale Horses (Haemish) (DaE)                    0-0-1 (0pts, 1TD)
5. Guild of Fools (Eldaec) (PrE)                           0-0-1 (0pts, 1TD)


Keebler regular season schedule:

North Pole Division
1. Chris Dane Owens Fan Club (Teleku) (DaE)      2-0-0 (6pts, 5TDs)
2. Considerably Elfier (IainC) (HiE)                       1-0-1 (3pts, 3TDs)
2. Ponyelves II (Comstar) (PrE)                          1-0-1 (3pts, 3TDs)
3. Here Be DWAGONS (Strazos) (HiE)                 1-0-0 (3pts, 2TDs)
4. Spiderland Reavers (Megrim) (DaE)                  0-0-2 (0pts, 2TDs)
5. Morningwood Packers (Luckton) (WoE)           0-0-1 (0pts, 1TDs)



North Pole regular season schedule:

HI Ulysees!

I will be unavailable after this weekend for 2 weeks so hopefully we can play my Sunday night, your Sunday morning

I'm GMT +9 and will be incessantly pinging you on steam come Sunday!

Sunday Morning I am going to be at football this week (last match of the season) and next weekend I am vis the folks as it is my dad's 60th birthday - we might struggle to get this match in but wil look out for you on Steam.

Teleku, what day/timezone/time are you available?

How about I get up in 7 hours and play you your Sunday night?

I can be around tonight and play, sorry for the inconvenience.

Haute Couture 4 - 0 Elf Hatred

This was probably the bloodiest game I've ever played.  By the end, three elves had died, two on Gruntle's side and one on mine, and he had two other mngs.  After the first half I almost scored at will due to the player difference and kick-off events, but by the end Gruntle was knocking out my elves left and right and nearly got a consolation TD.  The rest of the Keebler division can thank me for killing one of his assassins.  Gruntle gets credit for not letting me run away with too many spps though; my lineelf who died had scored two TDs in the game and was going to level.  A fun game. 

I hope Gruntle had a good time, I know it can be frustrating when blocks don't work.  At least he got to see a lot of elves die.

This league is turning out much differently than I had first imagined.

No problem Ulysses, sorry I missed out appointment, I slept in sadly.

Will try to catch you on my friend's pc during the week

No worries, fingers crossed we can find a time that works.

Going to struggle to be able to play this weekend as I'm out if town.

A day left and five games up in the air!

Hey, sorry for the delay, been busy every single night of this week.

I'm on PST (GMT-8), and I should be available all this weekend.  Just let me know whats best for you.

1 Dead Catcher. 1 Linesman -1AV, 1 Linesman -1MV (both will be fired). My AG 4 taam acted like a team with AG2. My team is pretty much ready to be disbanded. 2-1 Dark Elves over really-not-pro Elves.

Sorry, got lazy trying to get this done.  (Insert some random yet legit excuses about family/work here.)

Will try and get it knocked out tonight or tomorrow.

Considerably Elfier: 3 - 2 - Spiderland Reavers

Megrim can justifiably feel robbed in this one, he had time to equalise and get a draw which would have been a very fair result for the match but Nuffle deserted him at the end.

We kicked off into a blizzard and in my first turn I crippled the Assassin, the apothecary came out to fix him but he'll still miss the next match. A Witch Elf who had tripped while trying to dodge past my lines ended up on the wrong end of a particularly egregious foul and was KOd (this would end up becoming a pattern). The Dark Elves tried to force a way through my lines but ended up with the ball carrier exposed. I duly blitzed him down after injuring another Dark Elf, grabbed the ball and then threw it to a free receiver. The throw went wide and the Dark Elves easily recovered it then fumbled their throw. This time I played it safe, blitzed away the Dark Elf stood next to the ball, picked it up and then made a hand-off to open the scoring on turn 4.

The second drive saw the blizzard transform into sweltering heat thanks to the ineffability of Nuffle. The ball scattered right back to the line of scrimmage and was caught by one of the Dark Elves on the front line. They caged up and forced a hole in my line, I again sent the Witch Elf off with stud-marks in her face but the Dark kin took their revenge by breaking the jaw of one of my line-elves. The Dark Elf Cage dodged around and eventually ended up within scoring range, I put some tacklers on the ball carrier but he easily dodged away and made two GfIs to even the score with two turns of the half left. My team were clearly used to a colder climate as four of them failed their rolls for Sweltering Heat while the Dark Elves in their flimsy and revealing kit were just fine. Despite having only 6 players on the pitch, I held off the Dark Elves until the whistle blew and nearly managed to score a second but a failed dodge ended that move.

Weather related shenanigans had stopped by the time the teams came back out for the second half, and as neither of us had a bench, we were both understrength. The fight on the line of scrimmage was inconclusive but I managed to get some receivers behind the Dark Elf lines and then threw to a clear Elf for a standard two turn TD to go 2-1 up. We set up again and the Dark Elves returned the favour with an almost identical drive to level the score.

The third drive of the half was where things started getting interesting. We have 9 players each and I start out well by KOing another line-elf, then in the following turn KOing the Witch Elf for a third time with a foul. This time the ref notices and my line-elf gets sent off as well. It's a good exchange though as far as I'm concerned. Some more pushing and shoving gets a catcher free of markers and a long pass reaches the hands of an Elf in range of the endzone to put me in the lead again.

There are three Dark Elf and two Pro-Elf turns left to play and none of our KOd players recover for the crucial drive. This means that Megrim has only 7 players (and no Witch Elf) and I am down to 8. The kick is very short and lands just behind the scrum line. A Dark Elf picks it up and a couple of his team mates push their way through, ready to receive a catch. There aren't enough Dark Elves to cover the ball carrier and to score with however so I get a blitz on the runner with the ball. He dumps it to a nearby Dark Elf and I turn over trying to mark him. Megrim then goes to clear the way for a handoff which would give him a draw but rolls double skulls with no rerolls left. I am then able to blitz down the ball carrier sending the ball into a slightly awkward spot. I put some cover on it then try to block away the Dark Elf stood next to it. I have an unmarked catcher in range of the Dark Elf endzone and a player who can reach the ball and make a short pass to the catcher afterwards. I also have a reroll. Unfortunately for me I fail a dodge to put an assist on the Dark Elf I need to block and the guy who failed is a loner who then wastes the reroll. The Dark Elves wipe their brows in relief, push away the pro-Elves guarding the ball, grab it and then pass it to their receiver stood just a few squares away from the endzone. Unfortunately there's a pro-Elf with sharp reflexes in the way and he makes the interception to end the match.

Looking at the stats, I actually had worse dice than Megrim, it's just that his bad luck came at critical moments while mine was more spread out - I made 39 D6 rolls and 12 of them were 1s for example, while Megrim got a much more median 8 out of 47. His block dice were also better than mine but I got some early injuries which put him on the back foot for the first half.

Sounds like an exciting match.  Nine games of Elfbowl played and not a single draw.

Three games left for today.  If they don't get finished the coaches can play them later, but once the post-season begins they're considered unplayed and scoreless so it's definitely something you'll want to get done.

I've sent Eldaec a PM trying to set up a time but have not gotten a response yet, and his last time logged into Steam was 3 days ago.

No sweat.  The game can be played whenever he resurfaces, unless that occurs months from now or something.  Technically there is plenty of time left to get it played.  I know that Llyse and Ulysees missed their game from a business trip as well.

We just worked out the first time we can conceivably play is the weekend after easter - fuck all timezones.

Playing day 3 first.

No problemo.  I'll tenderize your team for Haemish.

Seriously, Straz and I just tried to play our match, as African and Floridian internets finally aligned properly.

((Server down for patch))

 :why_so_serious:

Hey Ulysees!

I'm still overseas but how does my Monday morning/ your sunday night work again?

Shouldn't be a problem - will keep an eye out for you on Steam.

Yeah, that was only slightly aggravating.
/playShogun2

I Break Easy 2 - 3 Labor Day

Oh blitz why hast though forsaken me??? Since my block dice decided to go on strike this match I though I was in with a chance of stealing a win when after equalising for 2 - 2 the kick off event gave me a blitz and I managed to manouver a wardancer under the ball but failing to catch the ball proved fatal as I was easily brushed away and Lyse then ran down the pitch on an undefended wing for a turn 15 third touchdown. My block dice had not been kind this match turning over 3 or 4 times and with a 2 turn equaliser on the cards I needed to clear the LOS to give me a path to flood some runners through but my str 4 lineman decided that both downs was better than POWs giving Lyse the win.

Was a good match, no long term injuries either side and I managed to get enough cash to buy a replacement wardancer plus a line elf rolled +agi on his skill up but hurting from the lack of re-rolls and really want a catcher or 2 asap. Match is submitted on BBmanager

Pretty much what Ulysees said.

I went into the 2nd half 2-1 ahead and receiving the kick off only to fluff my chances and let Ulysees to equalise and almost take the win from the Blitz!

Great game, no injuries so time for my Day 3 game!

Morningwood Packers 1 - 1 Here Be DWAGONS

This was finally played.  Wardancer bullshit managed to keep me driving somewhat forward for the first half, until the High Elfs finally broke me down got a turn 6 TD in.

On the second half, High Elf armor failed horribly and put four HEs in the KO box and 1 BH.  With little opposition, I finally got a TD in.  Almost won the game on turn 16 if not for a bad catch.

Fuck you, Cyanide.

Eldaec and I were playing our game when we started getting all sorts of Network Synch failure errors. We were on the last turn of the first half with him up 2-0 and me down 2 players when it just stopped working in the middle of my turn. I conceded to him as there wasn't anyway I was making it back from that hole.

Guild of Fools 2 - Pale Horses 0

Do whatever you need to do to give him the victory since it didn't count it in BB and let's move on to day 3/4.

That's strange.  Well, since it is an open league I don't need to do any validations.  I'll just give Eldaec 2 TDs and a win for the league records.  No mvps sucks though.