f13.net

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bSX2oxLdcWA

Looks like this is the movie the first should have been, it's sad how pumped I am after just this trailer. The Rock and Bruce Willis? Yes please.

Needs more laser beams and fancy over the top vehicles.

The first one, I bitched about. This one, for whatever reason, has me rather happy.

Boo no Rachel Nicols.

Had a strange relationship with the first one.

This'll probably be the same, though it's interesting they've lifted some stuff direct from the old skool comics.

So from what I can tell, the plot revolves around Cobra killing all the Joe's but a few, but they purposely don't put any of the Joe's from movie one in, so that they don't have to kill them?

Or the joes from the first movie are dead and get no screentime, which I'm more than ok with and lasers and crazy vehicles is exactly why the first movie sucked so bad.

Dude, they've totally lifted Hush Job.

I'm going for that alone.

That said, I literally have No Fucking Idea why John McClane is in this.

I liked the first one, and I like the trailer for this one.

Bruce Willis is in it as Joe Colston, the ORIGINAL G.I. Joe. Or something. Most of the cast from the first movie didn't want to do a second, except for Ray Parks, which is why we have a new team.

That whole ninja on the mtn scene looked cool until they showed Snake Eyes cut the Cobra Ninja's rope.  At which point you see all the CNs 'have the high ground' and your first thought should be "dude.. why don't they just return the favor there?"

The whole thing reminded me of G.I. Joe Renegade, which isn't a bad thing.

This.

This has the same plot as MI: Ghost Protocol.  The organization is wiped out by the bad guys and the survivors are getting some PAY.  BACK.

I did not know that she was both the Orion Uhura roomate in the Trek reboot and Tittyprincess in the new Conan movie until I just MrSkinned her.

That aside, this movie looks like a snoozefest. Over the top machines, equipment, and sets are what make it GI Joe. This isn't GI Joe, it's Genaric Military Action Movie #782346283746

Looks generic to me.

The most interesting part was the weird version of Seven Nation Army that starts playing halfway through the trailer.

Gah.  Thanks for that.  I couldn't for the life of me remember that song.  It was my favorite part of the trailer, too.

It's the Glitch Mob Remix... And I agree, it was the best part of the trailer.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=baiOmt9Hgc0 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=baiOmt9Hgc0)

Gah the dubstep, it is everywhere

It's the Glitch Mob, what did you expect?

WubWubWub

Looks like this has been pushed from the end of June to...March 2013??? :ye_gods:

http://jam.canoe.ca/Movies/2012/05/23/19791791.html

Hm.

Though I was thinking end of June was going to be rough on the film.  Brave &  Abraham Lincoln release the week before and Spider Man a few days after its original scheduled date.  There was no way it was going to make money, even if it was decent and not a shitty money grab.

The move to March instead of Fall or even farther back to April/ May says "we really don't have any faith in this."

Not to mention that they are pushing it back mainly so they can do a Post-op 3D conversion on it.  I mean, we know how well THAT works for saving your potentially shitty movie from being just another medeocre action film.

Yeah, I think these folks just John Carter-ed themselves.

Wait, a year delay? That seems... suspiciously more than just time for 3D conversion. But, with the release calendar this year, there may have simply not been a good spot for it to land without getting destroyed.

I saw this today.

It's a fun, mostly forgettable action movie. There were two things that kind of disappointed me - 1) knowing that they went back and re-filmed this to get more Channing Tatum in there, I was surprised at how little of him there actually was. I kept expecting him to pop back up and it distracted me from the movie. 2) Cobra had all the cool toys. HISS tanks, hovercraft, motorcycles that turn into bombs, fireflies, mini-coptors, nanomites. The Joes had guns, swords and one sort of tank/buggy thing that should have been blown up about 10 seconds after it appeared. While I wasn't expecting the exosuits from the first movie (which I didn't have any problem with), I was hoping for a bit more sci-fi toy type of gear. It was a little too gritty/monochrome for me (real is brown y0). It clashed with the very 4-color conflicts between Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow - and really, the ninja fights were the highlight of the movie.

Like I said, fun but forgettable. I saw the 2D version but I heard the 3D was decent.

EDIT: The more I think about it, another thing that disappointed me was Flint. He was an absolute cardboard cutout of a character whose presence you barely felt. They seemed to want to make something of him being a maverick, wildcard type character then they never did anything with that. He was just window dressing. There were also some awkward character moments that felt shoehorned into the movie to keep all the characters from being one-dimensional.

I pretty much agree with all of the above.  With one minor exception.   Whoever greenlit the absolutely in your face stupid doomsdaydevice trope at the very end needs to be kicked in the head repeatedly.  I had no problem with the down to the wire dramatic stopping of the cobra doomsday device.  That part was fine.  Heroic save by the good guys at the last possible moment works in the context of the movie.   Having the movie Cobra (who are NOT your classic GI Joe cartoon bumbling terrorist group) design their doomsday weapon so that the kill switch triggers a FUCKING SELF DESTRUCT OF SAID DOOMSDAY WEAPON is just beyond retarded however.  I mean, really?  You honestly expect me to believe that a Cobra that is smart enough to covertly swap their man in for the President, get 99% of the GI Joe squad offed, build a believable doomday device, and hatch AND successfully execute a plot to get all the worlds major nuclear powers to neuter themselves is going to be dumb enough to put a fucking self destruct switch on the main operating console for said doomsday device?!?

I thought it was decent.. The Rock was probably the best part of the movie though.  I also liked the 8-10 minute ninja fight scene that contained no dialogue.

That scene was based on the greatest G.I. Joe comic evar.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OLM-FTX_7bc

Wait.. they filmed Silent Interlude and put it in this movie?

Fuck.. now I'll have to see it.

Well, it's not exactly Silent Interlude, but it's the spiritual heir.

I was totally let down by this movie. I can't believe a movie based on the GI Joe universe could be so devoid of plot and great acting... :why_so_serious:

Yeah all villians want to get rid of nuclear weapons. Its what makes them evil.  :why_so_serious:

"We need to temporarily halt the launch to make a minor course adjustment for optimal targeting. OH SHIT! THERE IS NO STOP BUTTON! JUST A SELF DESTRUCT BUTTON - WITH NO CONFIRMATION CHECK!. IN FACT THERE IS JUST 1 LAUNCH BUTTON AND 20 SELF DESTRUCT BUTTONS ON THIS CONTROL PANEL!"

Who puts a self destruct button right next to the launch button with no confirmation check and shit?

It was a pretty abysmal movie, hardly better than that Thunderbirds kiddie movie from years ago.

I didn't think that Thunderbirds movie was all that bad.

I saw this and more or less enjoyed it for what it was.

Pros:

1) No stupid robot suits
2) No Marlon Wayans. That man singlehandedly drags a movie down.

Cons:

Why kill off so many Joes? I get the idea of trying to add dramatic weight to the story but they killed off a lot and did it off-screen. My issue with this is it hamstrings them somewhat in future movies. All I know is Scarlet better not have died....

Other than Mouse and Duke, none of the Joes that were killed off were given any notice whatsoever. That's one reason I kind of miss the distinctive uniforms - at least if Shipwreck had bought it, you would have known it from the gay sailor outfit.

Does your mother still hang out at dockside bars? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NXpXkC9TIc8 (Audio NSFW)