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f13.net General Forums => Serious Business => Topic started by: HaemishM on May 11, 2011, 09:43:43 AM



Title: I'm... Batman
Post by: HaemishM on May 11, 2011, 09:43:43 AM
Man dressed as Batman charged with trespassing (http://www.clarionledger.com/article/20110511/NEWS03/110511015/1263/RSS).

Motherfucker didn't even have the wherewithal to make a utility belt for his crimefighting. Amateurs.


Title: Re: I'm... Batman
Post by: Ratman_tf on May 11, 2011, 09:56:18 AM
This is why people don't try to be Superheroes. Not because they'd get beat up, but because they'd just look ridonkulous and get busted before they do anything interesting.


Title: Re: I'm... Batman
Post by: Ironwood on May 11, 2011, 10:18:42 AM
It's the sweaty pits of JUSTICE.

 :uhrr:


Title: Re: I'm... Batman
Post by: Slyfeind on May 11, 2011, 10:29:51 AM
This is why people don't try to be Superheroes. Not because they'd get beat up, but because they'd just look ridonkulous and get busted before they do anything interesting.

Coming from a guy who lives in Seattle...?  :uhrr:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/09/seattle-superhero-phoenix_n_805004.html

ETA, holy crap, that guy looks like some homeless dude. Lol @ sweaty pits of justice.


Title: Re: I'm... Batman
Post by: Ratman_tf on May 11, 2011, 01:12:57 PM
Coming from a guy who lives in Seattle...?  :uhrr:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/09/seattle-superhero-phoenix_n_805004.html

Those guys just walk around with pepper spray and make the cops nervous. They're a tresspassing charge away from being StinkyPitMan.


Title: Re: I'm... Batman
Post by: Slyfeind on May 11, 2011, 05:14:12 PM
It's because they know where the line is.  :oh_i_see: Personally I think Phoenix is a bit psychotic, because he actually goes to shitty neighborhoods (Tacoma, Everett, etc) and chases gang members with a stun baton. Again, there's a line to be crossed, and if he went all-out war on the Crips or some shit, he'd be dead already.


Title: Re: I'm... Batman
Post by: Sheepherder on May 12, 2011, 12:18:43 AM
Coming from a guy who lives in Seattle...?  :uhrr:

I have to question the logic of wearing a neoprene suit to chase down anyone.  I think a car thief should just double back and beat the fuck out of him on sheer principle.


Title: Re: I'm... Batman
Post by: VainEldritch on May 12, 2011, 12:28:18 AM
Fine figure of a man!

 :awesome_for_real:


Title: Re: I'm... Batman
Post by: Sheepherder on May 12, 2011, 01:42:24 AM
Well yes.  But that won't help him if someone beats the fuck out of him because he's fighting in a suit that limits range of motion, reaction speed, and the body's natural ability to dissipate heat.  Unless the victor leave a phone number.


Title: Re: I'm... Batman
Post by: MahrinSkel on May 12, 2011, 01:46:40 AM
Apparently he (Phoenix) is an MMA enthusiast, and your typical street thug's fighting skill is usually limited to swinging blunt or sharp objects vaguely in the direction of the opponent until someone falls down.

--Dave


Title: Re: I'm... Batman
Post by: Sky on May 12, 2011, 06:23:31 AM
The neoprene suit must be bulletproof, as well? Or is he living in some real-life version of West Side Story?

Renegade interrupt, bitch.


Title: Re: I'm... Batman
Post by: WindupAtheist on May 12, 2011, 08:33:40 AM
ITT: Professor Wikipedia tells us about "average street thugs" and what they do.

If this dude were getting into any actual crap on a regular basis and the locals decided they really didn't like him, someone would come up with some combination of guns/bats/friends and ruin his shit one night no matter how much fucking Brazilian Jiu-jitsu he might know. I suspect 75% of the reason nobody has kicked his ass just for looking like a retard is because cops follow him around waiting for him to do something stupid so they can arrest his dumb ass and get him off the street.


Title: Re: I'm... Batman
Post by: Sand on May 12, 2011, 09:24:34 AM
We've done this already.

http://forums.f13.net/index.php?topic=20299.0



Title: Re: I'm... Batman
Post by: Sheepherder on May 12, 2011, 02:57:41 PM
Apparently he (Phoenix) is an MMA enthusiast, and your typical street thug's fighting skill is usually limited to swinging blunt or sharp objects vaguely in the direction of the opponent until someone falls down.

--Dave

Yes, which means he's totally outclassed.


Title: Re: I'm... Batman
Post by: Fordel on May 12, 2011, 05:58:10 PM
Apparently he (Phoenix) is an MMA enthusiast, and your typical street thug's fighting skill is usually limited to swinging blunt or sharp objects vaguely in the direction of the opponent until someone falls down.

--Dave

Is he bullet proof? No? Well then!  :oh_i_see:


Title: Re: I'm... Batman
Post by: angry.bob on May 12, 2011, 08:00:11 PM
your typical street thug's fighting skill is usually limited to swinging blunt or sharp objects vaguely in the direction of the opponent until someone falls down.

Quite the contrary. The "average street thug" has spent their life in shitty, dangerous neighborhoods, has a poor temper, and even poorer impulse control. They also almost always require getting their way so they can get rent/food/drugs/pampers and formula for their baby. They've been getting in no-bullshit fights since they were little kids. They aren't going to use any MMA bullshit because even that's too much bullshit. They'll either knock you the fuck out with one hit or just stab/shoot you. Seriously, real world violent criminals aren't at all like they are on TV and movies.


Title: Re: I'm... Batman
Post by: Ratman_tf on May 12, 2011, 11:33:00 PM
http://www.nowpublic.com/strange/batman-las-vegas-street-fight-video-fake-batman-gets-beat-2786782.html

 :grin:


Title: Re: I'm... Batman
Post by: MahrinSkel on May 13, 2011, 12:19:23 AM
your typical street thug's fighting skill is usually limited to swinging blunt or sharp objects vaguely in the direction of the opponent until someone falls down.

Quite the contrary. The "average street thug" has spent their life in shitty, dangerous neighborhoods, has a poor temper, and even poorer impulse control. They also almost always require getting their way so they can get rent/food/drugs/pampers and formula for their baby. They've been getting in no-bullshit fights since they were little kids. They aren't going to use any MMA bullshit because even that's too much bullshit. They'll either knock you the fuck out with one hit or just stab/shoot you. Seriously, real world violent criminals aren't at all like they are on TV and movies.
Sorry, everyone seems to be under the impression I was rendering a judgement on the matter.  I was just paraphrasing The Phoenix's explanation for why he wasn't worried.  Perhaps it needed more green.

--Dave (sometime when I'm drunk and in person, ask me how I spent *my* youth in the less upscale portions of Seattle.  Me and my friends would have thought the Phoenix was *hilarious*)


Title: Re: I'm... Batman
Post by: Paelos on May 13, 2011, 06:26:39 AM
You're a pistol-wielding chimp. I assume your childhood was adorable.


Title: Re: I'm... Batman
Post by: Hawkbit on May 13, 2011, 12:48:43 PM
http://www.nowpublic.com/strange/batman-las-vegas-street-fight-video-fake-batman-gets-beat-2786782.html

 :grin:

Holy hell.  I thought it was staged the way Batman was flailing his arms, then he started getting his head pounded into the pavement... which makes the whole first 2/3 of the video a lot weirder. 


Title: Re: I'm... Batman
Post by: HaemishM on May 13, 2011, 01:23:23 PM
Yeah, don't know what Batman was doing trying to slap fight like a 5-year old girl, but he needs to get some skillz if he's going to pull a crotchgrab on the Vegas city streets. He got his rapz0red.


Title: Re: I'm... Batman
Post by: Fordel on May 13, 2011, 02:11:04 PM
Really, if you wanted to be a vigilante, wouldn't your goal to be as generic looking as possible? Everything off the shelf and untraceable?


Title: Re: I'm... Batman
Post by: Ingmar on May 13, 2011, 02:14:34 PM
Really, if you wanted to be a vigilante, wouldn't your goal to be as generic looking as possible? Everything off the shelf and untraceable?

If that was what you really wanted, rather than attention, yes.


Title: Re: I'm... Batman
Post by: Fordel on May 13, 2011, 03:17:37 PM
Is it possible to buy effective body armor without drawing suspicion? How much does that stuff even cost?


-edit- I guess you would have to carry a gun as well, that might be difficult to get around as well.


Title: Re: I'm... Batman
Post by: Ingmar on May 13, 2011, 03:18:47 PM
Well you can apparently buy kevlar body armor on Amazon for $375!

http://www.amazon.com/2009-Model-Unique-Armor-Protective/dp/B001XS70HY

Should I put that through the f13 Amazon referral?  :grin:


Title: Re: I'm... Batman
Post by: Fordel on May 13, 2011, 03:21:15 PM
That won't actually work on bullets/knives though, no?


Like, if all we need to worry about is blunt force trauma, hockey pads will do it.

-edit- Also wouldn't a internet purchase leave a trail?


Title: Re: I'm... Batman
Post by: Ingmar on May 13, 2011, 03:26:11 PM
Perhaps you would prefer a bulletproof flight jacket?

http://www.amazon.com/Bulletproof-Jacket-Pilot-style-Flight/dp/B004M220PK/ref=sr_1_6?s=sporting-goods&ie=UTF8&qid=1305325879&sr=1-6

There's seriously tons and tons of this shit for sale.


Title: Re: I'm... Batman
Post by: Fordel on May 13, 2011, 03:35:03 PM
That would actually be really good for out theory vigilante. Just a generic looking black jacket.


Title: Re: I'm... Batman
Post by: MahrinSkel on May 13, 2011, 04:57:33 PM
Level IIIA is virtually every handgun short of the .500 (not something you find on the streets), and will do pretty well against most military rifles (AK47 at short range will punch through).  Not bad for something that doesn't look like body armor, especially at $590.

--Dave


Title: Re: I'm... Batman
Post by: Merusk on May 13, 2011, 05:43:06 PM
That won't actually work on bullets/knives though, no?


Like, if all we need to worry about is blunt force trauma, hockey pads will do it.

-edit- Also wouldn't a internet purchase leave a trail?

Gun shows, my man, gun shows.  Cash transactions and no messy paper trail.

Dave: I'm trying to remember where I first saw it, I think it was a History Channel show a year or more back, but Bulletproof Clothing has been covertly fashionable for years now.  High-risk and high-profile targets wear it quite often, apparently. 

This here (http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/33210530) is a Today show article from 2009, but the vest looks ridiculous and bulky.   I know I heard an NPR story or saw a YouTube vid where the reporter was wearing what looked like a normal 3-piece suit and took a bullet to the gut with it.  The designer I'm seeing attached to it all is Miguel Caballero.


Title: Re: I'm... Batman
Post by: Xuri on May 15, 2011, 06:30:24 PM
Perhaps you would prefer a bulletproof flight jacket?

http://www.amazon.com/Bulletproof-Jacket-Pilot-style-Flight/dp/B004M220PK/ref=sr_1_6?s=sporting-goods&ie=UTF8&qid=1305325879&sr=1-6

There's seriously tons and tons of this shit for sale.
One of the sponsored links on that page is called Forcefield Body Armor. I clicked on it, but it was much less exciting than I imagined it to be.


Title: Re: I'm... Batman
Post by: HaemishM on May 19, 2011, 08:54:00 AM
That won't actually work on bullets/knives though, no?


Like, if all we need to worry about is blunt force trauma, hockey pads will do it.

-edit- Also wouldn't a internet purchase leave a trail?

You could buy it with a prepaid Visa card, have it shipped to a post office box taken out in a false name provided you can fake the ID paperwork.


Title: Re: I'm... Batman
Post by: cironian on May 19, 2011, 04:45:33 PM
So, who's founding the Batman Country guild for RL crimefighting? :why_so_serious: