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Title: Shit my students write Post by: ghost on May 06, 2011, 09:18:51 AM I just found this- Shit My Students Write (http://shitmystudentswrite.tumblr.com/)- and laughed my ass off for about an hour plowing through the archives. I don't know how many of these are true, but it certainly took me back to days of covering students in various capacities.
Example: Quote Like I said in the introduction, Planned Parenthood has affected me directly. Knowing from doctors telling me in the past and friends encouraging me, I knew after I lost my virginity I should go in for an annual. I scheduled at the campus clinic and the test results came back fine and I went on with my life. I broke it off with the guy I was seeing and proceeded to sleep around with a few guys. A couple months later I noticed things growing on my vagina and I was scared. I asked my friend what to do and she advised me to go to the local Planned Parenthood clinic. I felt this was my only option as I couldn’t have something like this show up on my parents’ insurance. After testing the nurse there informed me I had genital warts from a strand of HPV and I need to get a prescription. Edit: Another gem Quote Please keep in mind while reading the following; I am in no way trying to be racist. It may come off like that, but it is just to support what I think. Instead of accepting that Hispanics and white will be one, I want Hispanics to stop coming to America, and go back to where they came from. This sounds bad, but I just wants best for me and everyone I know. :awesome_for_real:Title: Re: Shit my students write Post by: pxib on May 07, 2011, 01:06:59 PM Quote Maybelline present us with a low modality statement saying “maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s Maybelline”. With this we see that the speaker is not sure if the actor was born that way or if she is using Maybelline products. Quote Also, the United States was under strict control by their English rulers. When people are under strict supervision and a harsh set of rules and expectations, eventually something will have to give. The Revolutionary War was exactly that, the reaction from Americans once they realized they could not longer put up with the controlling power bloc. Similarly, teenage girls in the sixties experienced a similar phenomenon: Beatlemania. Title: Re: Shit my students write Post by: Merusk on May 07, 2011, 01:34:55 PM :uhrr:
Title: Re: Shit my students write Post by: angry.bob on May 07, 2011, 06:39:42 PM Come on guys, how could you pass on this gem:
Quote The rebel and onion armies showed grose negligence by having many of their battles right inside national parks, like Gettysburg. Title: Re: Shit my students write Post by: Bzalthek on May 07, 2011, 09:34:05 PM Oh fucking jesus.
Title: Re: Shit my students write Post by: Paelos on May 08, 2011, 10:09:10 AM WEEP! WEEP FOR OUR CHILDREN!
Title: Re: Shit my students write Post by: 01101010 on May 08, 2011, 05:50:32 PM I should dig up my classes essays and short answer tests. I remember some of them to right out of the circus - and these were sophomore + college students at a private U.
The onion army one kills me... :awesome_for_real: Title: Re: Shit my students write Post by: Ratman_tf on May 09, 2011, 09:16:29 AM :grin: These are great. Life is much easier to deal with if you accept that 90% of people are horror movie victims waiting to happen.
Title: Re: Shit my students write Post by: stu on November 01, 2011, 06:57:58 PM I'm taking an International Relations class. Tonight, I've been editing a draft of a research paper from my assigned group. One of them is Nicaraguan and the other is Venezuelan. I have twenty pages of cringe-inducing grammar, but this gem almost made me spit out my beer:
"Women face discrimination and oppression from males. Domestic violence has been reported ass a matter of significant concern." Title: Re: Shit my students write Post by: Sir T on November 01, 2011, 07:43:10 PM Quote Although I am my own person, my relationship with my girlfriend of two and a half years has lead to a significant change in almost every aspect of my life such as my behaviors, believes, values, personality, and even my appearance. Just wait till she gets you married, kid, and really goes to work... Quote My people (Mexicans) were made when the Mexicans were slaves to the French, and the French kept going wanky wanky with their slaves, and then they made Spain. And Abraham Lincoln. Lincon was the result of genetic engineering. Who knew. Quote Was it the Revolutionary War or the Civil War that the Japanese dropped the atomic bomb on Pearl Harbor? How do I put this... Quote Hamilton’s theory of inclusive fitness helps explain how parents can be so selfless and supportive of such greedy little parasites. I approve. Title: Re: Shit my students write Post by: Strazos on November 01, 2011, 07:53:18 PM I'm taking an International Relations class. I've always wondered what was actually taught in these sorts of classes. Title: Re: Shit my students write Post by: Tale on November 02, 2011, 12:39:32 AM :grin: These are great. Life is much easier to deal with if you accept that 90% of people are horror movie victims waiting to happen. Five years of the raw incoming online feedback to TV network news/current affairs taught me this. Title: Re: Shit my students write Post by: ghost on November 02, 2011, 06:40:10 AM I'm taking an International Relations class. I've always wondered what was actually taught in these sorts of classes. Relations of a broad, international sort. Title: Re: Shit my students write Post by: Evildrider on November 02, 2011, 06:54:53 AM I'm taking an International Relations class. I've always wondered what was actually taught in these sorts of classes. How to have sex with people of all nationalities? Title: Re: Shit my students write Post by: tgr on November 02, 2011, 07:01:51 AM I'm taking an International Relations class. I've always wondered what was actually taught in these sorts of classes. How to have sex with people of all nationalities? Title: Re: Shit my students write Post by: stu on November 02, 2011, 07:54:48 AM It's a culinary class.
Title: Re: Shit my students write Post by: Strazos on November 02, 2011, 10:41:55 AM Seeing as I work in what one could call "international relations," but never took a class, was seriously wondering what it's like.
Title: Re: Shit my students write Post by: Raging Turtle on November 02, 2011, 07:52:19 PM In the U.S., International Relations 101 is generally studying different frameworks - Realism vs. Liberalism vs Constructivism, etc. Usually a nod to game theory, common goods/tragedy of the commons, and some other simple economic concepts as well.
Once you get to the graduate level (where I am), you're expected to know all or most of that stuff before you walk in the door. Title: Re: Shit my students write Post by: ghost on November 03, 2011, 06:29:42 AM In the U.S., International Relations 101 is generally studying different frameworks - Realism vs. Liberalism vs Constructivism, etc. Usually a nod to game theory, common goods/tragedy of the commons, and some other simple economic concepts as well. Once you get to the graduate level (where I am), you're expected to know all or most of that stuff before you walk in the door. So it's at the graduate level where you learn to have sex with people of different nationalities? Title: Re: Shit my students write Post by: Furiously on November 03, 2011, 11:11:57 AM No that's where you learn to hate other cultures and realize your own is the best.
Title: Re: Shit my students write Post by: ghost on November 03, 2011, 11:22:16 AM I though you learned that in Kindergarten.
Title: Re: Shit my students write Post by: Furiously on November 03, 2011, 11:30:45 AM No that's just where you learn they smell funny.
Title: Re: Shit my students write Post by: ezrast on November 04, 2011, 08:36:04 PM In the U.S., International Relations 101 is generally studying different frameworks - Realism vs. Liberalism vs Constructivism, etc. Usually a nod to game theory, common goods/tragedy of the commons, and some other simple economic concepts as well. All that stuff fell under "political theory" where I studied. My intro IR class was a lot of history of international organizations - how groups like the UN and NATO came to be and the roles they played. That could have just been because that particular professor was in love with history though. I somehow managed to never take an upper-level IR course.Once you get to the graduate level (where I am), you're expected to know all or most of that stuff before you walk in the door. Title: Re: Shit my students write Post by: Strazos on November 04, 2011, 08:39:10 PM So it's at the graduate level where you learn to have sex with people of different nationalities? No, you get that from on-the-job training. :awesome_for_real: Title: Re: Shit my students write Post by: Bstaz on November 14, 2011, 02:58:09 PM My wife teaches introductory critical thinking for an online university. I had to hide all the knives and other sharp objects in the house out of fear she was going to use them on herself.
The most recent quote that sticks out can from this question "Explain your view on why we should or should not drill for oil in Alaska." Reply: "We shouldn't drill for oil in other people's countries." and for some reason, "because god said so" is a valid argument for any question in a critical thinking class. She also had one student hand in a paper that was written using "texting" short hand for all all the words and without any capitalization or indention. It was priceless. The crazy part is that it is not an English class, so she has to grade the students on content of the argument and can not deduct any significant portion of the grade for grammar, spelling etc. Title: Re: Shit my students write Post by: lamaros on November 14, 2011, 03:41:34 PM What? Surely you lose marks for that in every class...
Title: Re: Shit my students write Post by: IainC on November 14, 2011, 03:59:38 PM She also had one student hand in a paper that was written using "texting" short hand for all all the words and without any capitalization or indention. It was priceless. The crazy part is that it is not an English class, so she has to grade the students on content of the argument and can not deduct any significant portion of the grade for grammar, spelling etc. I'd have handed it back unmarked and asked for it again in English.Title: Re: Shit my students write Post by: tgr on November 14, 2011, 04:00:07 PM I would've just returned it with "mother of god" stamped all over it if I got a paper written in pure SMSish. Because, mother of god...
Title: Re: Shit my students write Post by: Lantyssa on November 14, 2011, 05:07:02 PM What? Surely you lose marks for that in every class... I took off points for significant spelling or grammatical errors on lab reports.Title: Re: Shit my students write Post by: Selby on November 14, 2011, 05:36:31 PM I took off points for significant spelling or grammatical errors on lab reports. I got a B+ on a lab report and the only thing the professor commented on was he wanted a comma here, a slightly different wording there, a semi-colon, etc. He commented not one bit on the technical aspects of the report. It made me laugh once I realized that he specifically used the red and green squiggly lines on MS Word to grade our papers by...Title: Re: Shit my students write Post by: Lantyssa on November 14, 2011, 07:46:16 PM That would annoy me. These were all on hard copy. Ten pages of technical jargon for each week's report. They're lucky I didn't count off for utter BS, but then the purpose of these was to prepare them for scientific writing. ;D
Title: Re: Shit my students write Post by: apocrypha on November 14, 2011, 10:07:00 PM The 3 universities I've worked in and 1 FE college I've studied in in the last 15 years have all had internal battles over acceptable language standards in non-language courses. Specifically science and photography being the subjects I've had personal experience in.
All of them decided in the end that lecturers could refuse to mark papers that they felt didn't meet acceptable minimum standards, but that if they decided to accept the paper then they couldn't deduct marks for spelling & grammar. The practical upshot was that the plethora of text-message essays came to a halt. Handing one in like that simply got it returned and if the student didn't then manage to rewrite the paper acceptably before the deadline - which almost never happened since these students are the ones who hand in at the last minute 95% of the time - then they got a 0 mark for that paper. Title: Re: Shit my students write Post by: Bstaz on November 26, 2011, 08:10:45 AM New Quote of the week: "Thomas Hutchinson rank as a historical figure is not as high as Samuel Adams because we don't consume a beer named Thomas Hutchinson."
Title: Re: Shit my students write Post by: Nevermore on November 26, 2011, 12:59:46 PM Well, he does have a point. :why_so_serious:
Title: Re: Shit my students write Post by: Morat20 on November 26, 2011, 03:18:22 PM What? Surely you lose marks for that in every class... I took off points for significant spelling or grammatical errors on lab reports.So it was not uncommon to get a 95/70 or vice versa. He recorded the grammer grade seperately, and it was something like 10% of your grade, maybe? It was enough that people paid attention, and often corrected their grammer and English mistakes to raise that portion of the grade once it was handed back. Title: Re: Shit my students write Post by: IainC on November 26, 2011, 03:49:59 PM New Quote of the week: "Thomas Hutchinson rank as a historical figure is not as high as Samuel Adams because we don't consume a beer named Thomas Hutchinson." By that metric, Arthur Guinness is one of the most influential men ever to have lived. Title: Re: Shit my students write Post by: Furiously on November 27, 2011, 08:47:56 PM Adolphus Busch must have ruled the world.
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