f13.net

Best guess is he's had troll training on an MMO forum or perhaps /b/.

http://twitter.com/#!/charliesheen

http://www.ustream.tv/charliesheen

Sheen's Korner is priceless, I have to say. There is a lot of inanity and some just sheer awesome crazy. I hope this train doesn't crash for a while.

Nah! It's just how you become when you consume trunkloads (in case of Charlie Sheen that's literally trunkloads) of Cocaine and other drugs. Paranoia and delusions of grandeur are basically a given when you consume that much cocaine.

A famous german football coach even went as far as to agreeing to a voluntary drug test ('I do this to show that I have a clean conscience') because he thought that mundane drug tests were no match for his tigerblood empowered Warlock-self.

There are three possibilities:

1) The drug test is in some way faked.

2) He's doing some kind of designer drug that nobody knows how to test for.

3) He's got a brain tumor.

Nobody acts like that unless they are high or seriously brain-damaged.

--Dave

You can't test tiger blood

Winning winning WINNING Bro F-18 Winning

#winning

How about we just ignore Charlie and let him die in ignominy because he's a total shithead and has a habit of beating and abusing women.  I'd much prefer that to continuing the meme of Charlie is Crazy but Awesome being propagated by the usual internet misogynists.

Hear, hear.

/signed

Or he's heavily involved in marketing himself.  This has been great publicity for him. 

I'd take Charlie Sheen's crazy over the usual boring celebrity news we get bombarded with, any day of the week.

I would except for the kids involved. For their sake, I hold onto a small hope he can turn it around or make enough arrangements for them to not be scarred forever.

Small hope.

The kids are the offspring of Hollywood marriages.  How many times does that really work out?  Not much.

I would personally love to see Sheen get hooked up with Lady Gaga.  That would be spectacular entertainment. 

I see, rainbows and unicorns in sports, realistic in Hollywood.  :awesome_for_real:

Sheen has gone from amazingly watchable because of just how crazy the crazy train can get to "please shut up now, you're starting to look really pathetic."

I'm pretty sure Lady Gaga is a parody, a deliberately crafted persona.

I'm pretty sure Charlie Sheen isn't.

Which would make it that much more entertaining.  It would be better than an MMO launch.

Do you have a newsletter?  :Love_Letters:

I've missed the whole thing.

I'm ok with it.

He just did a skit on funny or die....actually got a chuckle out of it.

Looks like he's running out of money (http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/charlie-sheen-files-100-million-166537) for the nose candy and hookers. 

I'm not sure another $100 mil would help with a habit like his though.  Maybe he really should start an MMO company.

Is Chuck E. Cheese hiding behind his narcissism?

Personally, I think this is brilliant chaos.  This is exactly the same shit we crowned the beats with golden laurels for.  This is Howl 2011.  It's true 'that warlock' is circling the drain so to speak.  But what a way to go.

Wow, I had no idea he was with Bree Olson. Doing better than Tiger, I guess?

Sheen's so awesome that being with him caused her to quit the business :drill:

Yes!  Ask me how!

Ok he is channeling Hunter S. Thompson

I watched the Funny Or Die video and came to the conclusion he is trolling the entire country.
He might be on drugs but everything he is doing is part of the act right now, not simple insanity.

Some great one liners in that video.

He wishes he were.  Thompson had charm, intelligence, and, in his own weird way, class.  Sheen has none of that.  He's that homeless guy that's gone off the rails, and is standing in a puddle of his own urine, screaming about the gov't reading his mind with microwaves.  Except Sheen has a camera trained on him.

I fucking love Charlie Sheen. Haters gonna hate.

He's the next Robert Downey Jr.

That is, if he doesn't have a massive headsplosion in his mindtools.

The fact he did that Funny or Die video shows a deliberateness in how he's conducting himself. Nobody self-parodies while they are in the middle of an episode like that. I'm absolutely fascinated how this is going to pan out.

Local radio was mentioning how the police just engaged in a planned raid of his home tonight.

So I didn't know this lass and I googled her.

Oh.

Right.

Time to flush the history...

I'm convinced he's just upping his "brand" and gearing up to do a reality show so that he can make money and entertain while still getting his hookers and blow all day. 

Bree Olson is hot.

I'm telling you all. RDJ-like transformation going on, it just happens to be televised. Guy has been doing SHIT for entertainment for years. Goes on a fucking bender, comes out the other side hilariously brilliant.

What was RDJ doing before Kiss Kiss Bang Bang? Fuckall. Absolutely fuckall.

In other words, this whole-whole-whole thing may have been orchestrated by an amazing agent.

Or he ends up dead. Either way, it's going to be a hell of a ride.

Warlocks never die.

Is he Randall Flagg?

Huh?

Sheen was making $1.8 million an episode for Men, and that doesn't count royalties since the show is in syndication on a dozen channels.  There is no way he can make any thing close to that amount anywhere else.  And he's been doing this shit (drugs, nearly ODing, beating his wives/girlfriends, dating hookers/pornstars, threatening to kill wives/girlfriends, holding a knife to girlfriends, referring to a girlfriend by the "N" word, etc) for the last 15 years.

Like Tom Sizemore, this just looks like a guy that has been slowly moving away from reality during breakdown after breakdown finally losing it.

Could he come out of it in a dozen years and become a well regarded actor?  Sure.  His father pretty much did the same thing before West Wing.


And Merusk is dead on:  Sheen is an epic scumbag, and the world just sees laughs at his crazy antics.

Put him on the celebrity apprentice.

hmm unaware of his past or his scumbaginess, but that funny or die video was brilliant.  Maybe he is a douche, but I am gonna seperate the art from the artist.  He might be in the midst of a drug fueled meltdown, or perhaps this is all staged... either way his cooking video had me laughing far harder than most standup routines.

Sheen's head is fucking cooked. I don't think this is a public RDJ. For one, RDJ had talent before he fucked his life up, he had just fucked his life up so bad no one would hire him. Sheen, OTOH, is busy burning bridges in Hollywood like he's Mel Gibson. Also, Sheen has never been as talented as RDJ's left nut. Entertaining maybe, but not that talented.

Two and a half men had a couple of huge shark-jumping moments recently (evil Alan being one of the more obvious), so I guess it is possible that Sheen smelt the coffee - and he's not looking young any more. Still, that's one hell of an elaborate ruse to pull off, including having his kids in on it if he's not a complete schmuck.

I'm going with drug induced brain meltdown.

He was getting 2 million an episode, and it's been a long time since he was getting offered the big movie roles.  If he was being cold-blooded about it, the smart play would be to ride the shark all the way into the ground.

I think it's exactly what it looks like: He got his nose out of joint over Chuck Lorre's vanity card joke when he was already well into a drug-induced manic episode, and he's now doubling down on the crazy.  He's been trying to one-up his own self-parodies so long, he doesn't *want* to come back to reality anymore.  How can actual facts compare to the wish-fulfillment fantasy trip he's on?

--Dave

Ok, I didn't want to know and I've missed it all, BUT :  I like the vanity cards - What joke did I miss ?

There were a bunch of them Charlie reportedly didn't like, but the one that apparently set off the meltdown was #329:


--Dave

But that's almost like a compliment....

RDJ also went to prison (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/California_Substance_Abuse_Treatment_Facility_and_State_Prison). I wouldn't care to speculate on how drug-rehab prison differs from regular prison. One of the benefits you get from living a drug-free life is that you never have to find out.

I wonder if Sheen's genius agent has a trip to the pokey in mind.

You know I really liked Charlie Sheen for his work on Hot Shots and Scary Movie. Maybe he's transitioning that comedy style to real life.

Getting 1.2 mil as episode is sitting around doing nothing?

Losing custody of his kids is just a pr move?

Sure.

Perhaps sitting around reading a teleprompter would be a better description, but 2.5 men was hardly a demanding or lively role.

The kids thing is messed up, I'm not commenting on that.

RDJ was absolutely fucking nothing before Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and the public didn't care about him til Iron Man, really. We're talking about the public here, not f13, not our friends, the masses.

RDJ may have had talent, but the drugs and prison helped. Sheen is not even remotely burning bridges like Gibson and he's making fans out of a demographic that normally doesn't like middle-aged white actors NOT named Depp or Ledger.

I'm sorry you don't like him. I think he's fucking hilarious now.

Edit:

So what? Am I not allowed to like Braveheart because Mel Gibson thinks the holocaust didn't exist? Am I not allowed to like Mallrats because Jason Lee is a fucko broken scientologist? Am I not allowed to like Mean Girls because Lindsey Lohan turned into a parody of white trash? I don't care what Sheen does in his private life. If he keeps showing up on Twitter and saying some dumb shit about Warlocks and have shit like that cooking skit or just totally lampoon himself in an interview, I'm not going to say "Man, that'd be funnier if he didn't smack around women." There's lots of scumbags in Hollywood, in fact I'd say it's filled with scum. Entertainment is entertainment.

I hate the double standard. Lohan does exactly the same Sheen does, well minus beating up women and treating them like shit or disposable fuck toys. Yet Sheen who is so psychotic and paranoid from decades of drug abuse that he tried to kill two of his girlfriends and probably caused the death of one is now somehow the cool guy that supposedly lives the dream of more men than I'm confortable with while Lohan is paraded around as a skank with TMZ and co. being the ringling bros. of our time.

Somehow nobody ever asked how an underage Disney star ever got her hands on cocaine, alcohol and other drugs or who supplies her with the Adderall prescriptions.

I'm not seeing anyone here saying that he is a cool guy, or that he is living the dream. I'm seeing people say that his drug fueled mental breakdown is fucking hilarious.

Have you been to the internet lately? Maybe not around here (which ironically enough seems a haven of composure and sanity compared to the rest of the net) but a lot of reactions ahve basically beeing along the lines of "what do you want? If I could earn a shitton of money and fuck a harem of porn stars while bingeing on coke and booze I would too".

I love Charlie Sheen. Every few months some celebrity gets caught up to their gills in drugs and has to do the obligatory Rehab Shuffle. They go into treatment, their publicist says a bunch of silly shit nobody believes, eventually they end up on Oprah talking about how they were abused as a child or whatever the fuck. A couple years later they do it all over again. It's normal, it's expected, it's boring.

Sheen is the only celebrity I'm aware of who looked up from his pile of coke and whores and went "Fuck you, this is sweet!" The fact that he's done so in full on General Zod "COME TO ME HOLLYWOOD, IF YOU DARE, I DEFY YOU!" raving lunatic mode just makes it all the more awesome.

People from the outside approve because it seems like a hedonistic dream. They don't ever see the quiet hours of despair and self-loathing that addiction really puts on the subject.

I think most people have plenty of quiet hours of despair and self-loathing.  They'd just rather their other hours be spent with cocaine and porn stars than the usual shit jobs and bills.

RDJ was highly regarded for years before Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.  He was nominated for an Oscar for Chaplain, won a BAFTA.  He was in Short Cuts and Richard III, and was generally an amazing actor.  He was in a shitload of trouble with drugs all through that period, and his stint on Ally McBeal was his first big come-back (for which he won a Golden Globe and a SAG).

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is like his second or third come-back.


I'm not talking about his work, which is largely shit with a couple of exceptions.  Mel Gibson seems to be an awful person, but I don't think you should go back and retroactively wipe out a solid career.

My problem is the reaction of "aw give the poor guy a break".  I don't have a problem with a drug fueled melt-down, besides it being sad.  This is a drug-fueled melt-down by a guy with a long history of behavior that probably should have seen him doing multiple stints in jail for domestic abuse.  Behavior that he has never attempted to control, and that he hasn't expressed an ounce of sympathy for.

I'm all for general derision of crazy behavior.  The "this guy is awesome" stuff just makes me roll my eyes. 

This guy is awesome just for making some of you bitch and wring your hands about how anyone can look past his sins and enjoy his antics or say, you know what a life of hookers and blow and saying a big fuck you to everyone wouldn't be the worst. Charlie Sheen is what the internet is all about and if at some point the internet becomes a civil and sanitized place where that isn't the case I'll be quite sad.

Next on Intervention: Charlie Sheen.

Could this all be a Joaquin Phoenix like ruse?  I don't think he's doing it for the same reasons Phoenix did for his fake melt down, but Sheen might have some other plan to capitalize on crazy.  Or it could just be the drugs and booze. 

The internet is about warlocks and tiger blood?

It all makes so much sense now.

Here's the cool thing. Over the last 10 years we've seen the rise of designer drugs. Drugs that tend to be more potent, often with less side effects (occasionally more), that sneak around drug analog laws (gray at worst, completely legal usually), and don't show up on drug tests. They're pure and incredibly cheaper than street drugs. People savvy to this can have all the fun and stay on this side of the law. I would imagine Sheen is on this bandwagon and he's untouchable as long as he's not breaking other peoples' property.

They occasionally add more to the schedule, but then the next set of slightly altered drugs are released.

Edit: also despite the fact that they're not tested and "not fit for human use", for the most part you're better off using them than street drugs cut with any manner of toxic shit and with low initial purities. They're mostly 99%+ pure.

eh ?

Yeah, I'm pretty sure Sheen is just doing shit loads of quality Coke.

Most designer drugs are less effective than 'street' drugs and/or have other fun drawbacks that generally aren't well known or understood because people are ingesting shit that they didn't do before. The whole methadrone thing in the UK was that, an ecstasy/coke like drug that was technically legal but had far less effect than either of the original and resulted in the drug laws pretty much being changed to 'if you're taking it for fun and we haven't put it on a list of things you're allowed to take for fun then it's against the law'. It has nothing to do with Sheen though, I think you might actually be the first person to have had that particular mental meandering.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jCMTobkXaoc (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jCMTobkXaoc)

Sheenis envy.   :drill:

Given the 'buy the ticket, take the ride' line, I wonder if he isn't trying to pull off some sort of Thompson shtick after all.  Either way, he didn't look terribly healthy in that video.  He appears to have lost a fair bit of weight from when he was on Two and a half Men.

With the exception that Joaquin isnt/wasnt/never will be funny. He just came off looking like Ted Kaczynski or some neck beard schizo off their meds.

Joaquin Phoenix's attempts at rapping were very, very funny. 

Ahhhh that's not exactly true at all. Not remotely true. Most designer drugs that have come to popularity in the last 5 years are incredibly outrageously potent. Actually within the last few weeks a few were banned due to some idiot kids. The issue not so much that the drugs themselves are more deadly, but that the average effective dose is 3-10mg. This being comparable to a few lines of cokes. You seriously need to do some more research before claiming there's a potency issue or a quality of high issue.

Edit: also while I understand there is signficant resistance to even the idea of this, this is not just some idiot teens or 20 year olds fucking around.

Intro article on the basic idea of computer aided chemical design and the gray market: http://www.viceland.com/int/v18n2/htdocs/interview-with-ketamine-chemist-704.php?page=1

Then when you're done with that just have a few minutes gander at this page: http://www.click2drug.org


It's important to understand that there are a.) ways to do use these existing databases to come up with a small handful of potential drugs for your desired result, bioavailability, half-life, etc. and b.) there's a large population of people who are gladly being human guinea pigs for these now.

In my reading one of the bigger issues has been the fact that in order to accurately measure a dose you have to spent $50-100 on a 1mg accurate scale, and it's obvious there's more people who think they're more than qualified to make that measurement by eye than people with sense.


(Small clarification: 3-10mg when 10 GRAMS of 99% pure powder tops out at out a few hundred bucks)

It's quite obvious Sheen is an MMO-Larper and he's tricking the Cool World into thinking he's cooler than they.

#channelMana2Health
#channelHealth2Mana
#DoTwinning

Eventually, his brain's going to move out of the hypomanic phase, and he'll either be committed, celebrehabbing, or dead. Heh, iunno how much enjoyment people should take out of a guy going through a drug-fueled mental breakdown, but he sure makes it hard to feel sorry for him.

By the by, his tour opener in detroit was a complete fucking disaster

I'm not sure how it could have been anything else. Frankly anyone stupid enough to shell out money to watch a drug addled crazyperson with no experience of putting on a live show test-run his live show deserves everything they got.

He's very funny when he has writers, without writers though he's very sad.

I'm curious, what films or shows has he actually been funny in?

Chase, Major League 1 & 2, Spin City, Hot Shots 1 & 2, Men at Work, and I thought the char in Ferris Beuller was pretty amusing but not outright funny.

Hell even that funny or die skit parody of himself was great, people probably went to his show expecting that and got well, charlie sheen.

Yeah it seemed like he tried to adlib it, which is difficult even for professional comedians with years of stage experience.
That funny or die skit was awesome.

The second show received a standing ovation.

Really? From the videos of the first show, it looked like everyone had to stand anyway.

He changed up the format with an MC asking him questions.

He probably also didn't open up by talking about what a shithole the city he was in happens to be.  Which he apparently did in Detroit.  Sure, it's true, but it's not the thing you do when you're in the damn city.