f13.net

So yeah this past week in Beebe, Arkansas thousands of birds suddenly dropped dead from the sky for no apparent reason.
Test results show they had internal blood clots formed for unknown reasons, although lightning has been speculated.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/02/dead-birds-fall-from-sky-akansas_n_803358.html

As a single event this might not merit much attention. However just the week prior a hundred thousand fish turned up dead west of Bebee, Arkansas in the Arkansas river.
http://www.ktsm.com/arkansas/days-after-arkansas-louisiana-reports-hundreds-of-birds-falling-dead-from-sky

Coincidence? Or The End of Days?

(http://www.hotbadguys.com/images/byrne.jpg)

It's always coincidence.

There was an eyewitness report of several loud cannon-like booms prior to the birds dying.  The investigator who was interviewed on NPR said they suspected it was folks setting them off to celebrate the new year.  The person who heard the booms had gone outside to investigate and also heard the sounds of birds flying low and "the sound of wings and feathers hitting things."

The species of blackbird involved can't see well at night and doesn't usually fly unless scared and the injuries from the 17 necropsies performed were consistent with blunt force trauma.  Aka. birds ran into shit and died. 

So: redneck sets of redneck new year's celebration, device (always explosive.) ; device spooks birds; birds fly into shit and die; stupid humans freak the fuck out because they're stupid humans.

Who does CNN call when birds fall from the sky? Kirk Cameron!! (http://www.jesusneedsnewpr.net/who-does-cnn-call-when-birds-fall-from-the-sky-kirk-cameron/)

More birds dying in Lousiana (http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2011/jan/04/apocalypse-mystery-bird-deaths-louisiana)

I think the only logical conclusion is that the Antichrist is a southerner.

Yeah, this is only believable to me because Arkansas does seem like the sort of place the Antichrist would come from.

The antichrist isn't actually a specific person, read your Bible.

Never!

I wonder in antichrist's urine will be able to solve mold problems.

Thought some historians interpreted it to be Julius Caesar?

Julius died 44 BC.  I'd like to meet these historians, so that I can call them assclowns to their face.

Only if it comes packaged with Steam.

It might cure allergies if injected into your ass!

Whoops, I got the wrong Caesar.  Nero, not Julius.

More dead birds and fish reported. Now worldwide. His power is spreading!

This looks legit.  :tinfoil:

http://www.eutimes.net/2011/01/top-us-official-murdered-after-arkansas-weapons-test-causes-mass-death/


edit:

These articles about Wheeler are actually kinda scary though.

http://tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com/2011/01/before_death_vietnam_vet_seen_disoriented_erratic.php?ref=fpb

http://www.delawareonline.com/article/20110105/NEWS01/101050356/Delaware-crime-In-Wheeler-s-final-days-details-of-a-disheveled-man

I wonder what the ramifications would be, if any, were something like that to happen here in New York City.

My bet is on, that these occurances are the forewarnings of a massive supervulcano eruption...              

...that spawns the Antichrist  :awesome_for_real:

...or Cthulhu

Mint Berry Crunch is our only hope.

WTF? More Dead Birds Fall from the Sky in Sweden, Chile, Kentucky -- Dead Fish Keep Washing Ashore (http://www.alternet.org/newsandviews/article/424334/wtf_more_dead_birds_fall_from_the_sky_in_sweden,_chile,_kentucky_--_dead_fish_keep_washing_ashore/)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-VI1Bbnuvc

The clowns are prophets!

Also dead before The Book of Revelation was written.  I could save you a lot more time by posting this, couldn't I:

OMG you are ALL the Antichrist!  I knew it!  Especially Haemish, I think...he has that mad glint in his eye.

It's all about the Magnets (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-agl0pOQfs).

His power continues to spread. The dead animals are now in the UK.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/06/dead-crabs-wash-ashore-by_n_805211.html

He has now moved closer to the Holy See in Italy where he is destroying the world wide symbol of peace....the dove. Thousands drop dead from Italy's skies.

http://www.examiner.com/pop-culture-in-hartford/dead-birds-this-time-thousands-of-dead-turtle-doves-fall-from-the-sky-italy



(http://reelybored.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/dead-birds-2.jpg)

I mean, really, what would you do if you saw that for real? 

I would say a change of attire would be a good idea post-sighting, regardless. 

I think if you saw that for real you wouldn't be doing much ever again.

Cindy Jacobs: Birds Dying Because of DADT Repeal

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V17WGTvPHGg

Well that explains everything.

Tell me this isn't actually something someone seriously put their face to, publicly. Tell me this is a joke. Pretty please.

It's real.

I'm continually fascinated by the composite God that is built up out of the theology behind those kinds of responses. This is a God who kills people not directly associated with the policies that supposedly piss him off, like soldier or children, and who offs birds, burns forests, sets off earthquakes and so on in response to every single news event covered in the 24/7 news cycle.

One of the things you run into in southern Africa is that quite a few people to varying degrees tend to think that most illness or accidents that afflict individual human beings have their cause in the social world. Not so much national policy or "big events". It's more like: your aunt got a serious illness, so the first question you ask yourself is "does someone hate her? has she done something bad to a neighbor, friend or family member?"  But the ways in which social conflicts cause these events are via "small spiritual powers" that are openly understood to be malevolent--evil spiritual entities or malicious ways of manipulating spiritual power. On some level, this makes perfect sense to me--it has a philosophical and cosmological consistency to it even if it's ultimately a pretty troubled way of dealing with the world.

But here, we've got people with a similarly anti-naturalistic vision of causality that they attribute to a single omnipotent entity that they would otherwise describe as the definition of supreme goodness, benevolence and love. The inconsistency is just  :uhrr:

If you don't understand how it happened, God did it.  And if you don't understand why, it's because somebody pissed him off.  Find out who and punish them, so God doesn't take it out on everyone else.

Seriously, that's the logic.

--Dave

I believe The Onion said it best with the headline "God Lacks Precision"

200 Dead Cows Found In Wisconsin

Notice the part where they say there is no threat to humans or other animals?

:awesome_for_real:


http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/18/200-dead-cows-wisconsin_n_810248.html

The remix version:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9rj-V4-B0U

Cthulu rises and hungers.  Pray to be eaten first, lest you go mad with the unbelievers!

The folks in Hawaii are speculating a ship hit it, but WE KNOW!
http://news.blogs.cnn.com/2011/02/09/hawaiian-pilot-spots-badly-injured-whale/?iref=NS1

Coming soon, to a theater near you...............the Mahdi (http://www.cbn.com/cbnnews/world/2011/March/Iranian-Regime-Video-Says-Mahdi-is-Near-/)! 


I hate religious nutjobs. 

Down with House Harkonnen, long live Muab'Dib!!

It is interesting how much of his stuff Herbert lifted from modern religions. 

Prophets claiming to be the Mahdi are kind of old news in Islamic societies.

What I think is more interesting is that bin Laden is awfully well-positioned to actually become or be seen as the Hidden Imam of the Twelver tradition of Shi'a Islam. If he's still alive, about the smartest and scariest thing he could do would be to just make a ton of cryptic, non-specific audio recordings every single day and when he dies of natural causes, make sure that his body is completely destroyed with virtually no one seeing him in his last days.

Well, if he takes to wearing a blue turban I guess we know where we're headed.   :grin:

Well, except that he's Sunni.

And Salafi, at that.

--Dave

Yeah, I know. But al-Qaeda has shown a willingness to draw from either tradition to stage its actions, so I can't imagine that they're not thinking about the possibilities here.

Harhar. 

Bad judgement day makes me laugh. 
(http://media.caglecartoons.com/media/cartoons/53/2011/05/16/93142_600.jpg)

Well. It was either that or make a new one for people to follow. Which would just be crazy or something.

Crazy it is (http://www.dianetics.org/#/videos).   :awesome_for_real:

That May 21st shit was started by a group here in Oakland.  They have billboards in English and Spanish for it everywhere, even on the Buses.

I'm tempted not to come to work that day, just in case they interpret the 'start of the rapture' as 'release poison gas in densely populated areas downtown.'

I think I'll go to some busy outdoor place in downtown Chicago that day and then suddenly drop my shit, point up into the heavens and start shrieking "OH MY HOLY FUCKING JESUS SHIT FUCK WHAT IS THAT THING HURTLING DOWN AT US FROM THE SKY OH SHIT OH SHIT OH FUCK SHIT THEY WERE RIGHT THEY WERE RIGHT OH FUCK MY HOLE CAN'T YOU PEOPLE SEE IT OH SWEET HOLY MOTHER OF CRAP!!"

For lulz.

Make sure to have some bail money set aside.

Or a get away car and great driver.

And a video camera.

I think I'm going to stay home on Saturday with my ammo (http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2011/05/18/tick-tock-goes-the-doomsday-clock/?hpt=C1). 



Italics mine-  I think it will be a good evening to stay indoors.

Welp, looks like his math was off.  Harold Camping has revised his math so that now apparently the world will end in just 5 months (http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2011/05/23/doomsday-leader-flabbergasted-that-the-end-didnt-arrive/?hpt=C2)!!!!!!

I love the nutjobs the most, I think.  They make everything interesting.


Maybe we should all just send him some more money.   :awesome_for_real:

I'll be honest with the weather patterns this spring (40 in May!) , earthquake in Japan and now Jopling, MO wiped off the map Im beginning to think there's something to this whole Mayan calendar thing.

Umm... no. Shit happens every year...sometimes big things, sometimes little things.

La Niña is winding down right now, probably has a lot to do with the wacky weather in general - it doesn't often rain well into May in California like it did this year.

Yeah, weird as fuck.  It's been awesome having things stay so green so late into the year.