f13.net

Granted, by showing you this I slightly decrease my odds of actually winning.  But I'd be happy to see one of you fuckers win it too.

Good luck to you all. (http://www.hgtv.com/hgtv/pac_ctnt_947/text/0,1783,HGTV_19176_26632,FF.html)

When I win, I'll just sell it, and get a house on Lake Travis. East Texas sucks.

It's in Tyler, ugh. I lived in Dallas and had to go there on church trips for conferences occasionally. That city is a hole. At least they give you $250K with the house, cause you have to pay taxes yourself on it.

Yeah, and who pays the property taxes on the land, the house, and the car?  Who pays the car insurance?  

Oh, the winner.  But I guess you do get that quarter mill, which probably comes to about $48.52 after taxes.

EDIT:  Now that I think about it, wouldn't the gov't want to tax the value of the house and the car at the same exorbitant rates that it taxes lottery winnings?  If so, I bet thats what the $250,000 is for.

Yeah, I signed up, and would probably throw a drunken party there, then sell the bitch. Who the fuck wants to live in Texas?

And you live where again?

Cue the banjo.

I guess they don't want any Canadians in Texas.

No one wants Canadians.

Guam? Peurto Rico? Northern Mariniana fucking Islands?

But I can't enter because I'm Canadian?

Those are all US territories.

You have to be from a real country to enter.  Duh.

Yeah, get too many Canadians living in America and you may not continue to turn into Nazi Germany.

Yep. What does that tell you about Texas?

What exactly is it you're looking for anyways? Because Mississippi is like the worst of what Texas has to offer.

I think it's a wonderful idea to fill America up with Canadians.  Especially the froggy ones with nuts... those are my favourites.

Don't be a tool.

Have you ever been to Austin?

If only they could vote here!

What a low blow.  That's almost as bad as turning into France.

Man, we're getting screwed compared to the Germans!  Ottawa's a polar bear infested arctic wasteland, the women are fatties, and instead of crepes they've got poutine.

At least Paris would be a decent town once you rule it with an iron fist.  Ottawa?  Not so much.

From "here have a free house" to "you're a Nazi" in 10 replies.  Awesome.

Not to mention the irrational hatred of Southerners, Texans and the French! A WINNER IS US!

I have a hard time calling hatred of the French "irrational".

I'm Texan and I love the French.

I'm not sure the rest of it is irrational either, really.

For Mi_Tes:

(http://www.soukyan.com/images/incomingbaby.jpg)

Voted 5.

Heh, you saying that with that avatar of Carl cracks me up. It fits.

Just be glad he can read and write coming from Mississippi, though I would not expect him to be able to drive.... though I think they can still get their license from a cereal box top mail in style.

You must have driven here during rush hour. We upgraded to cereal boxes just last year.

Thanks!  Any mention of Germans / Nazis is bound to bring in Plummerx and Sir Bruce.  Better to be prepared for INCOMING......

I sure hope we get more threads that detail sweet deals on magazines and contests we can enter because I sure don't get enough of that crap in my inbox.

You shut your filthy mouth.  All I get is penis enhancement offers and home mortgage offers in my inbox.  As a degenerate gambler and compulsive Lotto player I enter every damned legit contest I can get my hands on.

I hear Readers Digest has some good contests you might want to look into.

That house is about 3 miles from my apartment.  My community salutes you.

Assholes.

Did anyone else read the title of this thread and thought it was about how to get a subscription to Screw magazine?

I'm so disappointed.

Bruce

This thread is living, breathing proof that no thread is safe from derailment.

It's a shot at $1,000,000 in prizes, people!

Guilty.

But haven't they been out of business for like a decade now?

I like the odds of winning my Maxim subscription vs. winning that house, etc.

Mississippi and Texas are putting on quite the battle here.

That reminds me, today's re-run of South Park featured a battle between Jimmy the cripple and Timmy the retard.
---

And to the person who asked "have you been to Austin?", the correct response is have you been outside of Austin?

Austin is quite enough to cover a multitude of sins. I think the only places with more fun, youth, and partying goin' on are NYC, New Orleans, L.A., and San Francisco.

Besides that, which one of you can say that your city has a thriving film or music industry (and by that I don't mean cover bands and school plays)? Austin isn't called the "live music capitol of the world" for nothing. Austin isn't called the the "third coast" (3rd in film and stage productions) for nothing. It's also the third largest hub in the video games industry. How many of you have more than one interesting art museum?

How many of you even have one real Mexican restaurant?

But if that wasn't enough...Not many other states have a South Padre island (hell, just a beach in general), great weather for a variety of things to do outdoors, almost a dozen professional sports teams, dozens of well regarded universities, Fiesta, NASA, and enough resources, computer chips, guns, and military bases to supply, empower, and defend the rest of the country.

Half of the states in the U.S. don't even have a mildly interesting history, while thousands of books and films have turned ours into something bordering on the mythological.

Hell, even our flag is cool.

Well said, Stray.

Misconceptions are unfair to some and whatnot.





keke ^_^ Margalis, you so teh funney!  I don't want to go into all the parts of the country/world that I've visited and/or lived in, because that would be too Brucey.

All true, only caviat to that is expect traffic issues at not quite the level of LA... but damn close.

Which can only mean that Austin sucks and nobody wants to live here. ;)

Actually, even with as bad as traffic has gotten in Austin, it still pails in comparison to the horror that is Houston or Dallas traffic, or even San Antonio to a certain extent.  Granted, I like across the street from where I work so I'm not generaly affected.  Traffic is going to suck in just about any metro area with 1+ million people, just a fact of life.

I guess that would be an upside to winning a dream house in Tyler -- not a whole lot of traffic goin' on there I'd imagine.

On behalf of my state, I claim "TIM-MAY!" as our new state anthem.

Look here, I know good and well how shitty my state can be. It's best trait (it's a quiet, peaceful place to live for the most part) is also one of its biggest weaknesses (it gets boring). Texas, OTOH, always seems to be made of a population full of flaming assholes, led by the grand poobah of flaming assholes, our glorious furher. Austin does seem to be an entirely different country from either state.

But Texas still wouldn't be on my list of states to live in.

Having lived there for almost 16 years, I can say with assurance that the biggest "TEXAS IS AWESOME FUCKYOUKTHX" are the ones who never lived elsewhere in their adult lives.

Well, if you put it that way, I'll try to be nice. I still think Texas is the greatest place on earth (and yes Paolos, I've been around), but I'm sure Miss. has plenty of redeemable qualities. I mean, Elvis was born there. And umm...The blues pretty much originated there.

So there you go.

Heh, I put Texas on the same level as New Jersey....

Which is to say....I don't think highly of it.

If I could somehow live in Mass/Conn/Vermont/NH, that'd be Teh Win....definately cooler (no pun intended) than friggin' Texas....

I've passed through the state 3 times, in 3 different places....and it always Smelled....no thanks.

I don't think I ever hinted that the whole of Texas is awesome.  In fact, most of it is quite shite.  Having spent 4 years in Waco for college, I can attest to that.  Being engaged to a woman who's from Mexia (Anna Nicole anyone?), I can attest to that.  Having been born in Houston and watch my parents move to Austin when I was 2 because there was too much traffic and the city smelled bad, I can attest to that.

But those who lump Austin into their Texas pre-conceived generalization are missing out.  Those who are familiar with Austin know this.

My favorite part of Texas, however, is the Hill Country west of Austin.  If/when I am rich and famous (yeah yeah), my dream is to buy a huge amount of land in the hill country and design my own goddamn dream house.

Waco is one of the places I've only driven through. I've heard everything from "boring" to a story about a guy who crashed his truck into Luby's and then proceeded to gun everyone down in the restaurant. And of course, who can forget David Koresh?

Then again, Jennifer Love Hewitt and Shannon Elizabeth are from Waco, so it can't be that bad, can it?

Plus it has 4 I's in its name.  How many other states can say that?  Huh?  Yeah, OWNED.

You're so making the 4 S's jealous.  Do not anger the S's.

The Luby's incident was in Killeen, between Waco and Austin where Ft. Hood is.

Jennifer Love Hewitt was from just outside of Waco but she moved away when she was really young.  Shannon Elizabeth actually grew up there and went to Waco High, and I've heard she was pretty cool.

If you have not been through Alpine, then hold that thought on the Hill Country.. course, I guess you really have to like living a bit away from the main staples of civilization.  Austin has worse traffic now than San Antonio, but your right about Houston and Dallas, those are just crazy shit nasty for traffic.

Not a huge fan of Texas but I can say that without a doubt, New Jersey is the lowest on the totem pole of suck ass states. Ever been there? It's like a giant sewage dump. There are nice parts but they are surrounded by exceedingly crappy parts.

When New York is too hectic for you, and you can't afford Connecticut, you move to New Jersey. Then, you die.

And get brought back to unlife as a mindless zombie by the toxic waste.

Then migrate to Mississippi....

And run for office...

edit: I fear the joke will be lost on some

I would *so* take Texas or Mississippi over Jersey any day.

I don't know why, but I feel like a picture.

(http://www.joe-ks.com/archives_jan2004/TakeYourKidToWork.jpeg)

I would *so* take Texas or Mississippi over Jersey any day.[/quote]

I actually live in Jersey....moved from from CA when I was 7....NJ sucks, But I could never live anywhere further south; I'd be too far from skiing areas, even if the Poconos in PA are total Shit.

Plus, any/all southern accents make my head want to implode.

PS: Ya, I know NJ has a horrible accent....thankfully I never picked it up. I like enunciating my consonants.

Apparently, Gatlinburg, TN has good snow skiing. Not that I would know, I've never been, but just saying.

It would take a hell of a lot more than some decent snow to get me to venture into the mountains in Tennessee.

Like a gun to the head and being taken captive by Billy Bob, his brother Daryl and their sister/mother/cousin?

Course the same could be said for Mississippi..

I can hear the banjos already.

(http://radio.weblogs.com/0107064/MyImages/deliv01.jpg)

From what I hear, GW's ranch is actually closer to Waco than Crawford but he'd rather not have his name associated with the Koresh fiasco.

I live an hour away from Gatlinburg in Knoxville.  If your idea of good snow skiing is skidding down a hill on wet grass and mud then you should buy a condo up there.

Actually his ranch is closer to Crawford. His ranch is also closer to Valley Mills than Waco.  However, each of those towns are lucky to have 2 working traffic signals and the stop signs say "WHOA."

Heh. Haven't heard that one before.