f13.net

And you thought trying to handle 10 harvesters in SWG was work (http://www.komotv.com/stories/34678.htm)

I just can not fathom this...  I mean, damn, maybe it it was in Honolulu or something, but not in Seatle.

Darwin save us.

I hate people. Maybe the government will repo his house.










If he has a house.

It's really about being a dumbass.

People camping the theater lines for episode 1, I could accept. At that point fans had not yet experienced the rape of their childhood.

Episode 3, they really should know better than that.

Living on the street is the new cool thing now. HE'S HARDC0R3!!1

EDIT: Bear in mind that I too, camped out for episode one to get tickets a week in advance. However, I did it for 16 hours and I was still in high school. I didn't make the same effort for two, nor will I for three.

Oh and it's about the ultimate goal of slack. I mean, he's SEEN Episode 2. EPISODE 2. And yet he still wants to waste his life like this.

Fucking loser.

Fixed.

Bring the noise.
Cheers.............

I hate to say it, but Episode III actually looks good (trailers (http://www.aol.com/starwars/trailer/) can be decieving). Definitely not as good as what this guy thinks, but I'm just sayin'...

My Architecture senior class camped-out for ticked as well, albeit in shifts.  The police & theater owners only let folks camp out for 2 days, but that 8 hour shift was still a blast.   As was the train of 15 cars to the theater that night with with the cardboard Star Destroyer we'd constructed strapped to the top of a VW microbus.

Ahh, if only the movie had been half as good.

If George Lucas showed up at every theater for a sound kicking in the nuts by every fan that buys a ticket then it might be worth going too...

He'd better be. I wouldn't exactly relish the idea of being in the Cinerama's neighborhood after hours. Dodgy doesn't even begin to describe it.

Apparently it's no longer a matter of being in line for a good movie, so much as a time honored tradition to wait the longest possible amount of time to see one of the Star Wars series as some kind of twisted bragging right.

It's probably just a stunt to get media attention so people he's never met will talk about him.   Hah, like that would ever work!

...

Crap!

If his goal in life was to have complete strangers call him a douchebag, kudos to him. Dinggratz.

I may have to purchase a Super Soaker and do a few drivebys during one of these nice cold nights we are currently experiencing. I AM going to the Center tomorrow night for T-Birds game...

I have to point out in the guy's defense that if any of the denizens here tried a stunt like this they'd probably die of exposure within a week.

I happy for him that he can still get this worked up over a movie.

Camping out for a movie you really want to see is cool, but new rule:
If you camp out to be first in line, and you get there more than 3 days before the guy in second place, you are banned from ever seeing that movie ever.

I can't help but think that the second guy to wait in that particular line will show up the day before the movie is released.  

But then, it is Star Wars...

So 3 or 4 days perhaps?

I'm sure I would keel over early on, but the amazing thing that exist in my skull that tells me doing this to myself at the sake of job, family, and personal goals wouldn't be good. I call it intelligence, and occasionally it keeps the regular folk like me from ending up risking injury over a movie.

And no, I'm not happy for him. I'm appaulled that someone obviously is supporting this douchebag since he's not working anywhere, and that is probably his pitiful mother who was wondering when he was going to move out. Congrats mom, your son found a new home on the corner. I hear the rent is great.

Going by the trailers, episodes I and II looked good too so I have absolutely zero hope for this one.

Episode 1 veered way too far into kiddie territory with little Anakin, Jar-jar stepping in shit, etcetera, and spent too much time on political windbagging, but then again it does get stuck having to set the groundwork for everything else.  The nice thing is, the bad guys totally win the movie, but half the dumbasses watching never realized it.  If you listen to the happy la-la-la music at the ending victory parade closely, you'll notice it's actually a variation on the Emperor's throne room theme.

Episode 2 was good.  Fuck you.  Yes, Anakin's romantic lines blew ass.  He's been raised in a celibate religious order since the age of eight, of course he's a blathering dumbass when it comes to women.  Padme only fell for his drivel because she's a melodramatic lonely bint who's been too heavily into politics her whole life to get any peen from any non-weirdos.  Other than that, the flick was full of badassery and quite entertaining.

Episode 3?  Lucas has been yammering for years that it's going to be so "dark" he worries nobody will like it.  Which... yeah... makes me think he's out of touch with his fans.  I have a good feeling about it.  Have you seen the still from the movie where Count Dooku is cowering before Anakin, both hands severed, while Anakin is poised to lay the chop on his ass with dual-wielded lightsabers and Palpatine looks on gleefully.

Episode II had a potentially good story get royally and completely fucked up by some terrible acting and some retarded plot decisions. In the hands of a real screenwriter and a real director, that movie could of kicked ass.

Lucas should of laid out a timeline/storyline and let someone else write the screenplay and direct the movie. The elements are there for some great stuff, but the execution is utter shit.

imo

No, it was even worse than episode 1.

Episode 1 would have been acceptable if Jar Jar had been removed and Anakin was at least 16 years old.



To be fair, I tend to think the actors did all they could given the innappropriate casting and godawful scripts.

Star Wars sucks so much ass. Talk about Indiana Jones. Or Lethal Weapon. Hell, any other trilogy/quadrilogy/whatever is better. Talk about freaking Nightmare on Elm Street. Just don't talk about goddamn star wars.

You might have been right about OMG WoW SUXORZ, but I shall fight you to the death on this!  Star Wars fucking owns.  Star Wars owns the shit out of Lethal Weapon, not to mention pussyfart like Star Trek.

I forgot Star Trek would be included. Yes, that ranks UNDER Star Wars. Along with the Child's Play series, Puppetmaster and Hellraiser. Let's not even get into Tremors. Stars Wars is still shit though. Stop being nostalgic.

I forgot, if it didn't get filmed in Japan, it's not great, right?

Camping out is fucking stupid in any context.  Without ever being obsessed about it I was able to see the Phantom Menace and FOTR on the first day just by walking up to the ticket booth a half hour before the showing.

How is seeing the fucking movie 8 hours before me going to improve your life?  What's the goddamned point?

You can't make me!

I was (sort of) with you on the UO stuff.  But come on - episode 2 not only didn't make sense as a standalone movie, had godawful acting (3PO one-liners, worst death scene ever (schmoo skywalker)), it reminded me WAY too much of that fanfilm American Jedi (google it), and also managed to break continuity with the original three films.

Lucas is a total hack, and while I'll see Ep3 just to fulfill my morbid curiousity, if it's actually watchable I might have a heart attack right there in the cinema.

I plan on having an ambulance on standby.

Episode 2 ranked UNDER FUCKING EWOKS. It was that fucking bad. It had a completely assed-up plot; I've seen better video game plots, written by Japanese furry tentacle-fuckers. Hentai has better plots. It felt like a really bad video game plot. First, we'll go over here, then we'll go over here, then for no good goddam reason, we'll go over here where it's dangerous. Lucas can't even decide what he wants Jedi to be. Are they policemen? Are they military men? What the fuck are they?

Character names. I mean, Dexter Jettster? WHAT THE FUCK? No sentient being who can understand the language would let someone call him that. COUNT DOOKU? YOU WANT TO SADDLE ONE OF THE GREATEST BADASS ACTORS IN OUR TIME WITH A NAME THAT SOUNDS LIKE A HUMAN WASTE PRODUCT? WHAT ARE YOU, FIVE? FUCK! Veins start pulsing in my head every time I think about the injustices heaped on Christopher Lee by Lucas and Peter Jackson in the last few years (see the extended Return of the King for Jackson's part). Kung-fu puppet Yoda? I mean, what? Does Lucas seriously think that making Yoda jump around like a four-year old on fucking meth is supposed to make us think he's bad ass? Jedi that old aren't bad ass because they can be Jet Li, they are badass because they can kill you with a flick of their fucking finger, you retard. Read your own fucking stories. Neither Obi Won or Darth Vader were gymnastic kung-fu artists, they were Jedi.

And then the CGI... fuck me, I thought I was watching Roger Rabbit in 1984. No, wait, Roger Rabbit blended animation and real live actors better than this shit. You mean to tell me that instead of hiring someone to do a goddamn mat painting or set backdrop, you thought it would be a better use of resources to film a scene of 3 Jedi walking down a hallway talking on a bluescreen and then paste in some shitty background? It looked like monkey ass. By the time you get to the parts that should matter, like the Jango Fett/Obi Won fight, you are BORED SHITLESS. And I wrote better love scene dialogue in second grade. That was just painful to watch. Meg Ryan romantic comedies have more believable love dialogue. Fuck, Ayn Rand had more believable dialogue, and all her characters are pedantic mouthpieces for her twisted philosophies.

You shouldn't have gotten me started on Ep2.

Quick somebody else poke the bear, we might get to his real feelings!

Good to see the hate is still strong in you.

Wow.

Excellent rant, Haemish.  I haven't seen poetic rage like that in years.

For some real fun, someone should mention sb.exe before Haemish's blood pressure returns to normal.

Roger Rabbit was 1989. (http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0096438/) 1984 was Last Starfighter (http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0087597/) and Cloak & Dagger (http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0087065/).


I would like to read that.

And all three of those were better films than Episode 2. As was my 2nd grade opus "The Way to My Heart is Kickball."

sb.exe is a holiday on the pleasure planet of hot monkey sex compared to Episode 2.

Wasn't that a Futurama episode?

They're the central government's figureheads/peacekeepers in a nation that doesn't have a real military because it hasn't had an external enemy in a thousand years.  Listening helps.



Who?



Injustices like dragging him out of "guys who weren't quite Vincent Price" obscurity and putting him in two huge franchises?



Yoda pwned.  Oh by the way...  Who da man?  YO-DA MAN!



Wrong.



Uh...  How would you explain either one of them being anything but bumbling incompetents in the romance department, given the character's histories?  Really, if Anakin were all smooth, I'd have to wonder just what the hell was going on in the "celibate" Jedi Order.



Star Wars uber Alles.

Any hood thug knows that a guy camping in front of a theater for five months doesn't have anything worth mugging him for.

Finally.  Nice to see the old Haemish back.  Did you get the bill for all the christmas shoping?

Christopher Lee is hardly a "guy who wasn't quite Vincent Price." The motherfucker served in the British Secret Service in WWII, and could stab you directly in the eye with his dick before you could blink. He's also done more movies than you've had hot dinners (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000489/?fr=c2l0ZT1kZnxteD0yMHxzZz0xfGxtPTIwMHx0dD1vbnxwbj0wfHE9Q2hyaXN0b3BoZXIgTGVlfGh0bWw9MXxubT1vbg__;fc=1;ft=44;fm=1) and could teach genre hacks like Lucas just how to treat a genre with respect.

Dexter Jettster was the thing that Obi-Won talked to in that awful American Graffiti diner.

Your quote about the role of the Jedi is silly. Nowhere in any of the Star Wars movies is the actual role of the Jedi Council clearly delineated. It makes their activities seem strange and out of context. I could listen to the crappy dialogue all day and still not understand it.

The fact that you actually liked the YO-DA MAN! commercials puts your current mental age at about 3. With dirty diapers.

I don't care how cloistered either Anakin or Amidala are, their dialogue is just bad. There is no justification for dialogue that stilted. It is AWFUL DIALOGUE. It isn't about being "smooth." It's about sounding like words people might actually say, which it didn't.

And I say this as a long time Star Wars fan, at least before Episode 2, Attack to the Wallet.

It sucked ass.

Yes.

That film taught me possibly the two most important lessons of my childhood, both of which are still true today:

1) Watch out for 3-fingered old ladies, especially ones with Atari 5200 cartridges, and chloroform in the glove compartment of their car.

2) Jack Flack always escapes!! (i.e. Never fuck with Dabney Coleman. Ever.)

Bring the noise.
Cheers............

Vincent Price could never have been Dr. Fu Manchu.

If you pull someone out of obscurity to make a laughingstock of them, it's not doing them any favors.  I think PJ did fine, but I agree with the um.. unfortunate name Lucas assigned him.  I would have walked on that alone.



If they had realistically portrayed bumbling incompetents at romance, a road which I might mention has been trod MANY TIMES (have you ever heard of a romantic comedy?), then I wouldn't have a problem.

As it is, it just looked like two people who received their poorly written lines five minutes before shooting.

Anakin: I....need to put it in you
Amidala: But we can't, arbitrary rules of our code say no.
Anakin: Love is like sand. You are sandy.
Amidala: Your words fill me with love and sadness.

The only thing missing from Ep2 was 'Nsync.

Nevertheless, I fail to see how GL & PJ have done him a disservice by giving him the most high-profile work of his career.



Oh.  What was wrong with the diner?



Clearly the Jedi run their own affairs, but are granted some official status by the government, which finds them useful as a sort of secret service.  There's no real modern-day analog to it, but shit, the term "knight" ought to clue you in to that.



Actually it was terrible, but I'm trying to make that pulsing vein of your rupture.  Next I'll start posting in Gungan.



Anakin's courtship strategy of following a girl around and perversely leering at her, then getting pissy when she doesn't like it, is probably more familiar to the MMOG community than anyone will admit.  :-D



MEESA SEZ IT WUZ DE BOOMBA!

Die.

What's funny is that the hate is more evident of how much some of you really love Star Wars. So much as to consider Lucas has "raped your childhood".

Somehow, that's far worse than anything Windup's guilty of.

And now back to our regularly scheduled program... (http://www.ifilm.com/viralvideo?ifilmid=2655422)

Man-ass but no titties? WTF is up with that?

Oh no, truly I love the original Star Wars movies. Despite how much of a whiny pussy Luke was in the first movie, I still love it. Empire is up there for one of the all time greatest movies, because it was so well-crafted. I speak of the theatrical versions, not these over-CGI abortions Lucas has foisted off on us. I love Star Wars, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. I will fly my geek flag high.

I write for a web site dedicated to bitching about MMOG's. If you haven't clued in to the fact that I'm a hopeless geek, nothing will help you.

As for the term Knight, that was a construct of the feudal system. It's a nice name, but in a highly industrialized galaxy-spanning civilization, it hardly has a proper place. And either way, it's a convenient term Lucas uses to say that Jedi do "whatever the fuck he wants them to, even when it makes no sense whatsoever."

The diner... if you don't know what's wrong with it, nothing else I say will EVER clue you in to my distaste over that shitstain Episode 2.

Let's not even go into voting for a Queen of Naboo.

I agree about the diner scene. They should used the real Ernest Borgnine.

Voting for a "queen" isn't the weird part.  It's just a matter of calling the chief executive by an anachronistic name.  What's weird is that said chief executive is like... fourteen years old.  Doubleyou tee eff?

Anyway, really, what was wrong with the diner?  Was it not 'cool' enough?  It's a shitty greasy-spoon diner.  Or is there some compelling reason it doesn't fit into the fiction?

We can't go back in time, we can't change the past. That means that our particular version of the multiverse here only has ONE CHANCE, chronologically, to get the Star Wars prequels right.

Somewhere out there, there's a near-parallel universe where George Lucas got hit by a car, survived, and came out of surgery with a prophetic vision of what the prequel should be, re-wrote the entire script and introduced to Star Wars fans a series of three movies which were godly and fully satisfying, inspiring and creating a whole new generation of love and fond remembrance for movies destined to be fondly recalled and admired, forever.

Instead, I live in the universe where we have Jar Jar Kiddie Comic Relief, Queen Leadface, Count Doodoo, C-3PO punfests, jedi angstfests, and - most importantly - space combat narratives with lines like 'Now THIS is pod racing!' that should make any decent moviegoer over the age of 12 start chewing their own tongue to alleviate the pain.

And because of it, Star Wars has begun stumbling into sellout oblivion. I live in the wrong universe, man. We've been robbed. Robbed, don't you see? We don't get another chance at a good Star Wars series! This is a temporal crime!

I think Joss Whedon crossed the dimentional portal to that universe, stole the script, brought it back and called it Firefly.

And that's how it should be. I don't know one kid who doesn't like these movies, who didn't like Jar-Jar, who didn't go out and buy the new toys, who didn't become new "fans", etc., etc..

It isn't easy to strike a balance and appeal to older audiences at the same time (the original Star Wars was just as much luck and timing). Lucas tried some things, but ultimately, whether they please anyone over 12 or not isn't important.

To put it simply so that even you can understand, it was a fucking earth 50's style throwback diner in a galaxy that earth does not exist and their was no fucking 50's.  It had NO place in star wars and just removes you from that world, as if all the shitty cgi didn't do a grand enough job already.  Plus it was just poor animation work the dialog was bad and the acting poor.... I guess in that sence it fits with the rest of the prequels though.

He's probably one of those same tards that hung out on the SWG forums, just so they could be the first to post "FIRST!" in reply to every developer's post.

I don't buy the whole "its a kids movie" and  "kids loved it" shpiel.  My nephews are far more into LOTR and Spiderman. In fact, they don't care about SW at all.   I also read several articles about how the merchandise tanked.

They are just bad films.

Update (http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/paynter/209306_paynter26.html?searchpagefrom=1&searchdiff=2)

I want to see the average doughy Star Wars nerdster stand for 16 hours a day. Maybe we can take up a oollection and fly Triumph the Insult Dog in for some quality time with this guy...

Hell, standing that much a day isn't healthy. You'll kill your joints doing that even if you are in outstanding shape.

I'd shoot him with my paintball gun if I could...

After Triumph roasted him.

He's lucky some group of "citizens" didn't decide to add some street color for him, in the red form of his spattered geek blood.