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Title: Laws of the Internet Post by: K9 on November 19, 2009, 09:33:53 AM 1. Godwin’s Law:
"As a Usenet discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches 1." 2. Poe’s Law: “Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humour, it is impossible to create a parody of fundamentalism that someone won't mistake for the real thing.” 3. Rule 34: “If it exists, there is porn of it.” 4. Skitt’s Law: "any post correcting an error in another post will contain at least one error itself" or "the likelihood of an error in a post is directly proportional to the embarrassment it will cause the poster." 5. Scopie’s Law: “In any discussion involving science or medicine, citing Whale.to as a credible source loses the argument immediately, and gets you laughed out of the room.” 6. Danth’s Law (also known as Parker’s Law): “If you have to insist that you've won an internet argument, you've probably lost badly.” 7. Pommer’s Law: “A person's mind can be changed by reading information on the internet. The nature of this change will be from having no opinion to having a wrong opinion.” 8. DeMyer's Laws (only the 2nd and 3rd laws apply generally): 2 - "Anyone who posts an argument on the internet which is largely quotations, can be very safely ignored and is deemed to have lost the argument before it has begun." 3 - "Anyone who posts a picture with a caption which does anything other than describe the picture is deemed to have already lost on the point they were trying to make and it can be ignored." 9. Cohen’s Law: “Whoever resorts to the argument that ‘whoever resorts to the argument that... …has automatically lost the debate’ has automatically lost the debate.” 10. The Law of Exclamation: "The more exclamation points used in an email (or other posting), the more likely it is a complete lie. This is also true for excessive capital letters." Title: Re: Laws of the Internet Post by: Yegolev on November 19, 2009, 09:52:26 AM Very good. Now please illustrate the difference between spam and velveeta.
Title: Re: Laws of the Internet Post by: MahrinSkel on November 19, 2009, 10:30:56 AM Very good. Now please illustrate the difference between spam and velveeta. I thought I was the only Usenet dinosaur around here who would know there ever was a difference.--Dave Title: Re: Laws of the Internet Post by: sigil on November 19, 2009, 10:37:55 AM You'd have to post this in Politics and a couple dozen other boards (sites) to make with the cheesy goodness.
Title: Re: Laws of the Internet Post by: Yegolev on November 19, 2009, 11:20:01 AM Too early for a snip from the jargon file?
Quote from: Internet Neckbeards :jello: n. [Usenet: by analogy with {spam}] A message that is both excessively cross-posted and too frequently posted, as opposed to {spam} (which is merely too frequently posted) or {velveeta} (which is merely excessively cross-posted). This term is widely recognized but not commonly used; most people refer to both kinds of abuse or their combination as spam. The jello entry sums it up nicely. Also: Quote from: Same People As Before :Sturgeon's Law: prov. "Ninety percent of everything is crap". Derived from a quote by science fiction author Theodore Sturgeon, who once said, "Sure, 90% of science fiction is crud. That's because 90% of everything is crud." Oddly, when Sturgeon's Law is cited, the final word is almost invariably changed to `crap'. Compare {Hanlon's Razor}, {Ninety-Ninety Rule}. Though this maxim originated in SF fandom, most hackers recognize it and are all too aware of its truth. Title: Re: Laws of the Internet Post by: WayAbvPar on November 19, 2009, 11:21:11 AM Quote 2. Poe’s Law: “Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humour, it is impossible to create a parody of fundamentalism that someone won't mistake for the real thing.” That made me actually LOL. Title: Re: Laws of the Internet Post by: tazelbain on November 19, 2009, 11:39:24 AM Quote from: http://conservapedia.com/Poe%27s_law Analysis Basically says conservatives and fundamentalists lack critical thinking skills. Way to defend the Faith, dudes. :drill:Poe's law is often used to mock conservatives and fundamentalists, based on its implicit assertion that fundamentalists and conservatives are so absurd as to be indistinguishable from parody. However, there is a fundamental flaw in this assertion. One might as well argue that genuine works of art are indistinguishable from cheap knockoffs, because some people are unable to distinguish between the two. Clearly, the cause of the mistake is not that the genuine article is no better than a mockery; rather, the cause of the mistake is that some people lack the critical thinking skills and/or experience to differentiate the two -- particularly in cases when an artist (or a parodist) goes to special efforts to emulate the genuine article. Title: Re: Laws of the Internet Post by: Yegolev on November 19, 2009, 11:55:35 AM "And to your left you can see The Drain. We will begin circling it shortly. Note the captain has turned on the NO SMOKING sign."
Title: Re: Laws of the Internet Post by: Bzalthek on November 19, 2009, 03:24:10 PM Fuck the cap'n. Light 'em up 'cause we're goin' down!
Title: Re: Laws of the Internet Post by: LK on November 19, 2009, 03:26:37 PM Quote 7. Pommer’s Law: “A person's mind can be changed by reading information on the internet. The nature of this change will be from having no opinion to having a wrong opinion.” Oh man. That's awesome. Title: Re: Laws of the Internet Post by: SurfD on November 20, 2009, 02:18:31 PM So what was DeMyer's first law?
Title: Re: Laws of the Internet Post by: Samwise on November 20, 2009, 02:24:05 PM You forgot one of the most important ones:
(http://art.penny-arcade.com/photos/215499488_8pSZr-L-2.jpg) Title: Re: Laws of the Internet Post by: Yegolev on November 20, 2009, 07:35:42 PM My evidence suggests the audience component is optional.
Also, yes: 2 + 3 = cats Title: Re: Laws of the Internet Post by: Samwise on November 21, 2009, 12:13:12 AM Also, yes: 2 + 3 = cats That's what we call a "lemma". Title: Re: Laws of the Internet Post by: Triforcer on November 21, 2009, 01:09:57 AM Also-
Everyone on the Internet is a man. If they send you a pic, its a lie. If you talk to her on the phone and its a woman, he hired someone else. If you meet her and she is a woman, she wasn't born a woman. Title: Re: Laws of the Internet Post by: SurfD on November 21, 2009, 01:50:37 AM Also- I prefer this version:Everyone on the Internet is a man. If they send you a pic, its a lie. If you talk to her on the phone and its a woman, he hired someone else. If you meet her and she is a woman, she wasn't born a woman. There's that rule about the internet. Everyone who CLAIMS to be a "woman" is a "teenage girl". Everyone who CLAIMS to be a "teenage girl" is a "man". Everyone who CLAIMS to be a "man" is a "teenage boy". And everyone who CLAIMS to be a "teenage boy" is an FBI agent. Title: Re: Laws of the Internet Post by: Ironwood on November 21, 2009, 02:07:42 AM :awesome_for_real:
Title: Re: Laws of the Internet Post by: RhyssaFireheart on November 21, 2009, 08:18:34 AM Also- I prefer this version:Everyone on the Internet is a man. If they send you a pic, its a lie. If you talk to her on the phone and its a woman, he hired someone else. If you meet her and she is a woman, she wasn't born a woman. There's that rule about the internet. Everyone who CLAIMS to be a "woman" is a "teenage girl". Everyone who CLAIMS to be a "teenage girl" is a "man". Everyone who CLAIMS to be a "man" is a "teenage boy". And everyone who CLAIMS to be a "teenage boy" is an FBI agent. Title: Re: Laws of the Internet Post by: schild on November 21, 2009, 12:04:35 PM (http://www.romhack.net/public/rules_of_the_internet_v2.gif)
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