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Title: Arrrrr Matey! It's Pirate Time. Post by: Shockeye on December 22, 2004, 12:20:43 PM Sometimes I read something so outrageous (http://www.theonionavclub.com/savagelove/index.php?issue=4051) that I just have to share. This is one of those times.
Quote from: Savage Love Have you heard about "the Pirate"? This is when you're getting a blowjob from a girl, and when you're about to come, you ejaculate in her eye. Then you kick her in the shin. The result is the woman squinting and hopping up and down on one foot, holding her leg and screaming "ARRRGH!" How many people are into this? Jack Off Wangs The Pirate. A Hot Karl. Donkey Punching. The Dirty Sanchez. Icy Mikes... Not a day goes by that I don't get at least one question about a sex act that exists only in the imaginations of adolescent boys. I assure you, JOW, that no one has ever attempted "the Pirate," just as no one has ever performed a Hot Karl, delivered a Donkey Punch, or inserted an Icy Mike. They're all fictions. To demonstrate how easily a disgusting, fictitious sex act can be invented and disseminated, I've made one up myself: "The Louisville Plugger." It's too disgusting to describe even here. If anyone out there would like to know what the Louisville Plugger involves, send an e-mail to plugger@savagelove.net. I will e-mail you a description—hell, I'll send you a diagram. Then we can all sit back and see how long it takes for the Louisville Plugger to start coming up in conversations in gay bars, frat houses, and letters to sex-advice columnists. Nothing says romance like a kick to the shin. Title: Arrrrr Matey! It's Pirate Time. Post by: stray on December 22, 2004, 12:40:47 PM Sans the boot to the chin, I thought that one was called "The Pelican Eye".
EDIT: Nothing good can come from this thread. Title: Arrrrr Matey! It's Pirate Time. Post by: HaemishM on December 22, 2004, 01:18:45 PM No, really, nothing good at all can come of this thread.
Title: Arrrrr Matey! It's Pirate Time. Post by: Shockeye on December 22, 2004, 01:22:10 PM This isn't about good, this is about funny.
Title: Arrrrr Matey! It's Pirate Time. Post by: HaemishM on December 22, 2004, 01:23:39 PM Oh well then yo ho ho and an eyeful of...
Title: Arrrrr Matey! It's Pirate Time. Post by: Paelos on December 22, 2004, 01:25:42 PM 1) After you let loose, how much force could you put into a kick in the shin?
2) Such a move could only prove you hate BJs and never want another one from this particular woman. 3) Kicking women is only funny if they are hippies and/or feminists. Title: Arrrrr Matey! It's Pirate Time. Post by: WayAbvPar on December 22, 2004, 01:27:40 PM Quote from: HaemishM Oh well then yo ho ho and an eyeful of... OMG!!! Goddamn it Haemish, I actually did choke when I read that, you bastard. Title: Arrrrr Matey! It's Pirate Time. Post by: Shockeye on December 22, 2004, 01:28:34 PM Quote from: Paelos 3) Kicking women is only funny if they are hippies and/or feminists. If they're 4X, would they feel it? Title: Arrrrr Matey! It's Pirate Time. Post by: Paelos on December 22, 2004, 02:05:25 PM Quote from: Shockeye Quote from: Paelos 3) Kicking women is only funny if they are hippies and/or feminists. If they're 4X, would they feel it? Do you really want to make this thread about fat people too? Because the last one went really smoothly. Title: Arrrrr Matey! It's Pirate Time. Post by: Shockeye on December 22, 2004, 02:32:26 PM Quote from: Paelos Quote from: Shockeye Quote from: Paelos 3) Kicking women is only funny if they are hippies and/or feminists. If they're 4X, would they feel it? Do you really want to make this thread about fat people too? Because the last one went really smoothly. I just wanted to get you going again because I didn't feel your wanting to kick hippies and feminists was offensive enough. Title: Arrrrr Matey! It's Pirate Time. Post by: Paelos on December 22, 2004, 05:34:41 PM Have you met any hippies before? I like chicks that bathe thanks.
Title: Arrrrr Matey! It's Pirate Time. Post by: MrHat on December 22, 2004, 06:26:56 PM Quote from: HaemishM Oh well then yo ho ho and an eyeful of... Holy fucking tea on my keyboard Batman! Quote Have you met any hippies before? I like chicks that bathe thanks. Fucking hippies. Don't visit Boulder, CO. if you can't stand them. Although, the Boulder Police force is so incompetant that you could probably get away killing a few of them. Oh, and I bet a website that features exclusive videos of obscure sex acts such as the Hot Karl, or a Donkey Punch could net you a pretty penny. Title: Arrrrr Matey! It's Pirate Time. Post by: Shockeye on December 22, 2004, 08:08:09 PM Quote from: MrHat Oh, and I bet a website that features exclusive videos of obscure sex acts such as the Hot Karl, or a Donkey Punch could net you a pretty penny. Hot damn. Time to start working on the websites now. Coming soon: hotkarl.f13.net & donkeypunch.f13.net Title: Arrrrr Matey! It's Pirate Time. Post by: MrHat on December 22, 2004, 08:35:24 PM Quote from: Shockeye hotkarl.f13.net & donkeypunch.f13.net nice. Title: Arrrrr Matey! It's Pirate Time. Post by: Arnold on December 22, 2004, 11:14:07 PM Is this where the name "shockeye" came from?
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