f13.net

Here's your cast (http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/08/lindsay-lohan-joins-de-niro-steven-seagal):

    * Danny Trejo
    * Robert De Niro
    * Jessica Alba
    * Michelle Rodriguez
    * Steven Seagal
    * Lindsay Lohan
    * Don Johnson
    * Cheech Marin
    * Jeff Fahey

:drill: :awesome_for_real:

AWWWW FUCK YEAH.

This.

 :drill:

 :ye_gods:

That trailer is the bomb

That exploitation scholck fetish Rodriguez and Tarantino share rankles me somewhat, but Danny Trejo is awesome so I'm down.

I like how Jeff Fahey is last on the list. But he'll probably surprise people.

That is one of the strangest casts I've ever seen.


I can't wait to see who he casts in the new Predator stuff then.

Jeff Fahey. The Marshal is still one of my favorite shows of all time. Good to see Lindsay Lohan staring in something worth watching for once. Maybe she'll play a call girl for a Sentator.

This movie almost makes me wish I was a teenager again.

Necro for new Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2lW9ZAhtATs


 :drill:

This is an actual movie??? o_o

 :drill: :drill: :drill: :drill: :heart:

Goddamnit yeah!

I have a reason to live.

"I absolve you of all your sins, now get the fuck out."

I will see this movie in theaters.  He will have my money.  I don't care how bad it might turn out to be.

Though god damn, the movie looks a lot more bloody/gory than any of the previous trailers made it out to be.

New trailer (http://www.traileraddict.com/trailer/machete/red-band-trailer).

It's probably the same trailer Fordel linked last week. The one he linked is blocked on Youtube for me.

"This preview is rated for mature audiences only"

Well that's a lie and a half.  :why_so_serious:

Saw this today. DO NOT go into this expecting anything subtle, or anything other than stupid, silly, over the top ultraviolence. It should be called "Brown Dynamite" because it's just as silly, only it isn't presented tongue in cheek. In fact, it's so serious with itself that it's intentionally comical, from the "BOW CHICA BOW BOW" pr0n music every time Machete is with a woman to the buckets of blood geysering out of people. Everyone acts badly on purpose, the story and "political message" are hammer-blow obvious and everything you either liked or hated about the trailer is in the movie in spades. If you didn't like the trailer, do not see this movie. I laughed my ass off during the whole thing.

The ending action piece was a bit of a mess, and they missed some good opportunities for some great action - it definitely starts better than it finishes. Rodriguez has done better movies, but it's still fun. Favorite line: "Machete don't text."

I got a good chuckle out of the bit before the credits:  Machete will return in Machete Kills and Machete Kills Again.

HaemishM, your descriptions are all that I could hope it would be.  After all, the original trailer was meant to be of a horrible B-action movie.  Playing it out all the way through would be awesome.  That's all I ever hoped for, so I'll go into this with decent hopes of being entertained.  Though I'm not sure when I'm going to get the chance...

Still, without any context at all, the "favorite line" you quote has me laughing my ass off at all the potential situations.

Saw it this weekend, awesome shit.  Is there any confirmation on if that was actually lohan nekkid or did they find a body double?  The couch scene looked like it would have been impossible to have anyone but her, but it is hollywood.

http://www.wwtdd.com/2010/09/lindsay-lohan-is-not-naked-in-machete/

Saw this movie over the weekend.  Laughed through it all.  This movie is fantastic fun.  You should be watching it right now!