f13.net

http://decentcommunity.org/2009/05/05/women-dies-after-using-jackhammer-as-dildo/


 :ye_gods: :ye_gods: :ye_gods: :ye_gods: :ye_gods:

Choice quote: a neighbor witnessed a naked Ms. Dent in her driveway “struggling to direct a jackhammer toward her mid-section".

As usual, the gold is in the comments.

A bit surprised that she's not russian.

In Soviet Russia, is jackhammer who dies from getting fucked by woman.

Yes, I can totally see why it would be a good idea to insert a machine designed to shatter concrete and stone into a human body.   :ye_gods:

Normally these types of jokes are unbelievable and just weird, but this one I'd buy in to.

This has to be an elaborate joke.

Or a very creative suicide....

CAUTION. GORE. INSANITY.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=reH4Bph04Ds (Full disclosure: Sauced actually linked me to this a few weeks back)

Possibly one of the best videos I've seen on youtube.

Given some of the horror stories I've heard from the emergency room, and/or EMS folks, I am not at all surprised by a likely mentally ill person offing themselves while attempting to masturbate with a jackhammer.

I've seen a few of those things happen, although not with such gory results.  The two nastiest things I saw didn't actually involve any blood.  One was a guy getting an arm trapped under bags of cement on a pallet that then started rolling down a conveyor (dragging him after he lost his balance), it "degloved" the skin on his hand (he didn't lose the skin or the hand, but he had no sensation in most of it).  The other was a guy working on a weather radar, the system had been designed in the 50's and had capacitors the size of 2-liter soda bottles that could get charged up to 15K volts.  He forgot to discharge the capacitors, brushed the contacts of one while reaching for something behind it.  His pinkie finger just vaporized.

--Dave

That's my man.

Who else is looking at the thread title and thinking, "huh? it saying nothing about her having used a condom..."

Darwinism at work?

49 year old and recently divorced? No mention of children, but the point of natural selection has been passed a while back, you'd think.

I really want to believe this is a hoax.  I can get wanting a high powered pleasure device.  A construction worker thinking a jackhammer is at all a good idea?  My brain just can't handle it.  (Quite possibly because I don't want to force myself to think about the logistics.)

Nice. It would have been better if it had just been the same guy who progressively loses more limbs.

The one we had to watch in shop class was pretty great as well... Showed a guy with long hair getting scalped after it got caught up in something.

It must be fun to act in one of these things.

I was SURE I had seen this before... (http://www.adultswim.com/shows/moralorel/extras/ivc/ep31/)

Also, John Darnielle is awesome. Just had to put that out there.

The part about her doing this in her driveway, naked, leads me to believe she wasn't all there, mentally.

Afterward, I imagine she wasn't all there physically either.

No she would have been all there physically. She may have been spread around the driveway a bit more than before and perhaps in more pieces but it would all still be there.

See, this is the thing that springs immediately into my mind, but after my flatmate's retired-Anaesthetist mother's anecdote about a guy who really enjoyed getting pegged by his girlfriend was admitted into the A&E with a vibrator lodged in his colon for the FIFTH time*, I've given up trying to ascribe reason to people who are so improbably horny they have no sense of humility or, in the case of the late Mrs Extreme Vagpounding 2009, even self preservation left in them.



*though it's worth arguing who's more stupid in this scenario - her for ramming it up there 5 times or him for letting her do it.

In that scenario he wasn't letting her, he was asking her to.

Yeah, it sounds like there was a humiliation thing going on there too.

Well you wouldn't want to use a jackhammer inside would you? That sounds downright dangerous!

Yeah, that might mess up the carpet.

Pretty sure it still messed up the carpet.

Oh snap! :awesome_for_real:

You don't know that!  She could have had hardwood floors.

I've been to Arndale!  Really!

http://www.state.ok.us/osfdocs/cities.html (http://www.state.ok.us/osfdocs/cities.html)

....eh?

When careers and hobbies don't mix.

It could have if she made play sets.

It also probably could have been a case of "don't copy what you see on the internet - these people are professionals. Also: easily disposable and replaceable".

 :rimshot: