f13.net

Well, not actually the Hooded Claw, but something far more wicked my comes: the somewhat belated desire to play EVE Online.  :ye_gods:

In an effort to explain myself (to myself) and my tardiness, I offer you the following litany of woe: Ever since SWG (  :dead_horse: ) I've been looking for something with some depth - a place I could stay for several years. EVE crossed my radar at about the same time as AoC and I went for the blood-fest 'n' knockers (superficiality FTL...). Oh well. Said disaster behind me, I've been peering into the murk that EVE was to me on my first pass look-see and trying to figure out wtf I could do in this game. Now it seems I'm quite close to falling in love with the game, and for the right reasons this time.

I was delighted to see that F13 has an active EVE corp going on, and was wondering if you were recruiting or have a Corp for F13 members and noobsters like me?

I just installed the game again yesterday (computerage problems required that I rebuild my system, fly to USA and ram various items of hardware up Bill Gates' "Bobby Brown") so I know sweet fuck all about what I'm doing...

Everyone says "Join a corp!"... so here I am asking to join you chaps and chapesses.

Chances?

 :grin:

 :dead_horse:

We do have Bat Country and F13corp still in the game for newer players, although they're relatively inactive.

What sort of corp are you looking for, or more to the point, what sort of play style interests you, PvP, PvE, a mixture...that sort of thing.   That will have a big influence on the sort of corp you join.

A corp that is really good for new players is Eve University.  They help with all the mechanics of the game and give you skill books etc. 

If you can't get in with a group of friends who will look after you, and if F13 and Bat Country are largely inactive (making them not a good choice for a newbie imo), I would think about contacting the University. 

Thanks for the heads up.

As for the style of play I want - atm I'm still loving the graphics and the sheer feeling of biblical vastness I get when I log in (as opposed to the sheer feeling of secular smallness I had, like riding a horse across the lawn of a semi-detache in Golders Green, from AoC...).

I'll check out the Eve University then... but I'll look out for Goonies in game :D

Spy.

Damn pezzle beat me to it.

Join the F13 chat channel in-game and we can at least answer your questions and give you some newbie cash to get you started.

I wasn't going to say the S-word.  But yeah.

Also, protip: avoid the word "goonies" if you are looking to infiltrate anything.

I thought this was going to be a thread about Claw interceptors, and how they aren't very good.

(http://img179.imageshack.us/img179/6307/2172685295d8860567cbb.jpg)

Thanks Reg, I'll do that - I'm still a bit overwhelmed.

Btw... spy? As in Harry Lime? Kim Philby?

 :why_so_serious:

This guy looks legit.  :pedobear:

Hey Reg, how on earth do I talk to you guys in the F13 channel? I don't see it listed under any of the channels in the Channels and Mailing Lists tab... nor for that matter can I find GFHelp (as suggested in the wiki).

Heyalp...

My in game my name is Vain Eldritch, and I have finally settled on a race (Caldari), and an appearance (I'm a sucker for gothic women with big hair)... currently languishing in Kisogo System at the Kisogo VII War Academy station.

Channels & Mailing lists -> Channels -> Join -> Type channel name here -> OK
or right click Channels & Mailing lists -> Join -> Type channel name here -> OK

I love you and it's a good, clean love - without utensils.

Trying to hard to be friendly.  I don't trust friendly people.

Up yours you monosynaptic drivel-monger.

Is that better?

Close, but you'll never fit in with the Goons unless you call someone a faggot now and again.  If you really want to blend in, just use it as a form of punctuation, like most of them do.  :awesome_for_real:

OP also isn't any good at the spy game.  Though he's trying very hard.  Points for effort.

In fact, I'm not very good at anything at the moment - even things I'm not actually doing, apparently. Well, "Heigh-ho",  as Kurt Vonnegut Jr would say. Was nice chatting a little with couple of folks in EVE F13 chat  earlier. Completed my first mission! I'll go to bed happy that Vain is learning about, well, learning actually, while I sleep.

I'm really kicking myself for not picking up this game 6 years ago.

*Takes off false nose, mustache and glasses. Removes microfilm from bow-tie camera, and prepares report for THRUSH that mentions the need to use the term "faggot" frequently*

It wasn't the same game 6 years ago.

It's not the same game as 2 years ago!

Jade Constantine's spy account

You chaps and chapesses are I presume familiar with McCarthyism...?

 :grin:

Hehe, he is a spy.

Needs more images.

(http://www.lootlady.com/images/top%20secret%20spy%20kit.JPG)

I wonder how many EVE Uni applicants are just failed spies who had to join it to maintain appearances.

Here's another... quite apt methinks  :why_so_serious:

(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/fa/Joseph_McCarthy.jpg)

You should have posted the big version.  :oh_i_see:

Here's an equally apt picture.

(http://i162.photobucket.com/albums/t275/Noitek/jesus_on_cross_crucifixion-full.jpg)

 :awesome_for_real:

I would be able to answer that question.. but my calculator just exploded.  :grin:

You guys have Portuguese enemies in game now?

Probably.  There's already a Spanish alliance in the enemy's coalition.

Good spot.  Quoting this because I am down.

And even if this isn't everyone's favourite space hermaphrodite, it's similar enough to be awful.

1. I'm English - I just happen to live in Portugal (which sucks, btw)
2. I'm not anyone's enemy because no one is my enemy - I've been playing the game for 9 days and have yet to shoot or be shot at by another player
3. I've been around F13 for a few years - mostly lurking - as I liked the acerbic wit and"usefully cynical commentary". I thought F13 / Goons might be a good bunch to join up with for a new player, since you have a ton or reallly helpful links in the F13 EVE forum and appeared to be actually encouraging more people to play and even join up - having chat channels and such. Thus far Regel in the F13 channel has been very helpful (even game me some ISK, which I have since been able to pay back - thanks again mate) and Predator irl helped with some advice too so thanks there as well.
4. I've now read around on the history of EVE Online and the Goons so I understand (to the degree that a reasonably intelligent outsider might) the "spy paranoia" bit. I had no idea how deep EVE was in either game-play terms (number of skills and thier differing applicability to game siuations) nor in terms of the sov wars. Well, now I do and I want more than ever to be a part of this game - I'd like to do that with F13/Goons, but you lot don't recruit openly and it seems I am not considered an "insider", so I'm at a loss.

If you really want to join up with the Goons it's not that hard - certainly easier than getting into the F13 goon corp anyway. Just get a forum membership at Something Awful and post regularly there but NOT about Eve. After a few months at Something Awful building credibility you can apply to Goonfleet and most likely get in.

I'm just paraphrasing stuff I've heard Endie say in the past so he should correct me if I'm wrong.

For you, I recommend FYAD.

I don't even play. I just like to come here and call people spies.

You fucking spy.

FYAD...? Whodat?

/shrug

No idea. Probably some goon meme I'm clueless about.

FYAD (http://www.wikihow.com/Post-in-FYAD)

Look, the important thing is that you stay out of Trad Games, because I don't need any spies trying to muscle in on the Shadowrun action while they wait out their three months to infiltrate Goonfleet.

There's at least one game going on with pretty good odds of at least two characters getting splattered, and I got an application in as a Formori Shark shaman named "Fin McCool" that is a sure bet to get picked.

Following the advice of Cadavarine... WUA, gtfo you faggot.

Never burn your handler like that, Vain!

Hey, I was only only following advice - I'm easily led so blame Cadavarine! Besides, I wasn't aware I was being "handled"...  :ye_gods:

Lock and gas...

Tempting.. but no.

Stupidity magnets make my job easier elsewhere.  :grin:

This was not my intention and I apologise for any ad hominem offense. Neither was it my intention to create a trash thread, nor a "stupidity magnet". Obviously.

I was thinking more of the AF idiocy into which some other newbie's thread descended.

I'll believe he's not a spy if he can explain his stance on the following subjects:

• Pre-Trammel UO
• SW:G and the NGE
• Anthropogenic Global Warming
• Logical Determinism
• Libertarianism
• Weather patterns in Central Texas

I think that any new recruit should address any three of the above topics in that list in their opening post as a test of their mettle.

Bonus points for charts.

I am seriously - and I mean seriously - beginning to think that plenty of spies just see me posting shitloads about Eve, check out my post history and finds that I get folks to do stuff in Eve, and then copies my first sentence of my first post:


I mean, it happens almost every time now.  Difference is I didn't even notice the Eve thread for six or seven weeks, and was having far more fun in the AW graph thread.

I dare these people to spend their first ten posts like me: going for HaemishM and Tazelbain of all people, making inaccurate jibes about Lum, and getting in a detail-centric argument with Arthur_Parker.

Tick-tock, Clarice.

Very well… allow me address these in no particular order whatsoever and to jump form one to the other with no regard for my audience, for these subjects are in fact all closely connected, as you will see.

Weather patterns in Central Texas are in fact as likely an explanation as anything yet advanced by the responsible parties for both the “Trammelisation” of UO and the implementation (via lubricant-free insertion) of the NGE in SW:G. The friction generated by the frantic pumping and ramming actions required to achieve the aforementioned community-wide hoop-stretching insertions in turn contributed in no small way to global warming and thus may be considered a direct anthropogenic cause, to wit, the pulling of a “Smed”. Even the most libertarian thinkers must surely have winced at such heinous propositions, the more diabolical because the illusion of future choice was maintained even as the gargantuan shafting approached zenith and the decisions made in that terrible present that would render any future choice little more than the problem of free will.

   

Ok that made me LOL. Sorry Eric  :grin:

Now that I see the relationship between weather in Texas and the NGE I understand why Schild's car was specially targeted by the baseball sized hail stones.

And, perhaps, why mine was spared.

Points deducted for not following or preceding "Smed" with the term, "Goatfucker".