f13.net

New Playboy browser MMO in production.  (http://www.joltonline.com/news/10_jolt_announces_playboy_manager)

Don't worry - you don't have to play as a bunny. You get to be their manager.

Official site (http://www.playboymanager.com/) - apparently one of the classes is 'douchebag', given the character art.

Who will play this  :ye_gods:

 :drill: :drillf: :drill:

Fantastic.

Managing talent with crack?

No. Managing the talented cracks of your clients.

 :awesome_for_real:

I have been playing that since I got internet access.

If this game can't be torrented it will fail...

..or not.   :hello_thar:

Me?

I appreciate subtle self-derogatory humour that's giving the "manager" featured there a sickly, greenish pale skin. Lack of hairy palms is bit of a letdown, though.

I'm not familiar entirely with their audience but I doubt this won't be a disappointment for them.

If the model on their front page is any indication of the content, I can't see how it will go over well.  Also they're the ones that did that crappy Zork browser game.

What do you mean?

It changes with a refresh.

Don't ask how i know.

This would be cool if they did it like Leisure Suit Larry set loose in the Playboy mansion.

Boobies are always relevant, and I don't see why an adult-themed casual browser game wouldn't be successful, if it didn't suck. But of course this will suck.

If it were me, I would take a hint from the second life prostitutes and offer a service facilitating that sort of interaction with highly customizable sexualized anatomically correct (or anatomically exaggerated) avatars, jap dating-game style "gameplay", and integrated VOIP. Johns pay per minute or per sex act, depending on the whore's wishes, and whores are paid in a standard affiliate relationship, but they would not be required to charge anything.

Call it "the playboy's party" and have offer varied mise en scene like the playboy mansion, the playboy grotto, a highschool locker room, the back seat of a parked convertible, shit like that. Wrap it around a social-networking type shell, so everybody can keep in touch, review the whores' performance, talk about their cats, and so on. If there's one thing we've learned, it's that "value" is not a major impediment to guys trying to masturbate.

I don't think Playboy wants to go there.  Their image is more about being the kind of guy who doesn't have to pay for it.  You just described Red Light District Online.

This isn't the 50's, it's not like porn is hard to find now. A game like that would be superfluous. The reason that Second Life and its ilk are successful is because they cater to the freakjobs.

Playboy was behind the times with affiliate sites and such; that's why they purchased spice and ICS a couple of years ago, purveyors of hotel pay per view porn and owners of such fine sites as gofuckyourself.com, bigsausagepizza.com, cumoneileen.com, orgynation, amateurpages, 10dollarlesbians, clubjenna, etc. They wanted to get into affiliates badly to compete with hustler, bangbros, etc, but flubbed it, and are now reportedly selling them off. Christy Hefner leaving was not a good sign.

Playboy very badly wants that hardcore revenue, but you're right in that they don't want to deface the playboy brand with it, because at this point, that brand is all they have. Then again, if they don't do something, this recession will put them out of business.

Porno hasn't been hard to find for a long time. Phonesex lines and camwhores still do quite well, however, because they offer real human interaction.

Ah.  Because the model they showed was scary when I looked.

How do you know? ;D

It's hard not to subscribed to their twitter page for this promotion. It sends comments immediately. I tested it.

Bet it only supports WASD with no mouse. And numpad for you lefties.

Who would want to occupy both hands?

This has been educational.

I liked how one of the sign-up benefits was a chance to win a lifetime sub to Playboy. I thought, "How long is Playboy still going to be around, anyway?".

I'd say it isn't going to work because the lifestyle Playboy tries to sell - classy and somewhat innocent sleaze, or something like it - is a bit outdated. Especially since hardcore is so easy to find for free. A MMO is going to keep people coming for a look at some boobs, but as AoC found out, boobs don't keep an audience post-launch.

And if it is even vaguely successful I'd expect someone to copy the basic mechanics and make a more explicit version - Virtual Pimp Online - where you 'manage talent' in more detailed ways.

With stuff like YouPorn and RedTube I can't fathom how any nudie mags stay in business, regardless of how hardcore they are.

Because most people men them for the articles.

I don't anything for men.

That's not what I herd.

No, it isn't. You herd I like mudkips.

Erhm. Um. Yeah. I will. Well, I'd beta it. Who knows, the breasts might be totally imba.

And apparently it's cool. No word if they'll tell the wife though.

(http://dl.getdropbox.com/u/119380/temp.png)

I really think the secret to success in an adult MMO isn't to sell hardcore pornography but to facilitate hardcore interactions between players with no set prices on the marketplace. Whores may charge more to do certain things, or because they or their avatar is more attractive, or for voicechat or live webcam. Or there may be no money at all changing place, with an established couple using it for convenient long distance mutual masturbation. Or a singles line, with random horndogs getting off on each other. If the platform is good, all of these things could grow from it, and monetization would be easy because again, one of the few things people will pay for on the internet is an orgasm.

Not everyone has the internet or access to high speed broadband. And, same with other printed materials, some people just prefer paper.

But yeah, it is why newspapers, magazines et al are going broke - because the internet gives up everything and much quicker / convenient than it takes to release another paper issue.

Oh shuddup you.  You know what I meant.  Don't make me use that edit feature! 

Dammit.

So what you're saying is... they should offer a virtual Penis THAT REALLY WORKS!!!

Gotcha.

Teledildonics is so last year.

Try 3-4 years ago.

I have no idea what that is. But I'm not sure I want to google it either.  :ye_gods:

"Reach out and touch [yourself]."

It's fufme (http://www.welookdoyou.com/fufme/index.shtml.html)* for those who missed the joke.

*) url not necessarily SFW

Hehehe! Teledildonics still makes me giggle. Hehehehehehe. Teledildonics.

Perfecting the science. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDVlgI76tDw) Sorta NSFW for obviously sexual toys

I used a teledildonics reference once for a patent application.

No joke.

The patent on fleshlights must be moneyhats for you.  :grin:

As in *Whack* *Whack* *Whacketty* *whack* beater...?

Sorry, that "crack manager" line on the site put me in smut mode.