f13.net

Is anyone else finding this new fad in advertising really really stupid. I see tons of these commercials where they are trying to fake out real people on camera to prove a point about their product. Some of them just annoy me, like the Microsoft Mojave thing, the Coke v. Coke Zero lawyer adds, and the Hardees restaurant burger ads.

One recently actually made me have a WTF moment. Pizza Hut runs these dumbass ads where they serve food in a "high-end" restaurant and then reveal it to be Pizza Hut. I'm sure you've seen them if you ever watch TV without DVR. The most recent one is them serving lasagna to actual Italians in Italy, and they all love it. WHAT?!?! I didn't really ever believe the commercials were real before, but that's just taking the concept from unlikely to just ridiculous. These people have access to the most fabulous pasta in the world, and they rave about Pizza Hut mass produced lasagna? Would they love Stouffer's as well, because it's about the same. One guy even compares it to his mother's. No, just no. If his mother actually saw the ad, she would declare vendetta on her own son for the insult.

I know advertisers think we are stupid, but this is laughable.

Advertisers don't think you're stupid. They have concrete proof, based on copious amounts of research, that you, me and everyone in America is clincally and terminally stupid.

And yet, even in our moronic state of barely being able to put our pants on and feed ourselves with utensils, I still don't think we believe they convinced a bunch of real Italians that Pizza Hut lasagna doesn't taste like processed garbage.

And yet the stuff sells. Both myself and my wife like it, and she's a real Italian who cooks damn well.

Of course ad men don't think EVERYONE will buy it. They don't even have to convince you they are being genuine. They just want to get you to consider Pizza Hut pasta when you are hungry and want something delivered.

Yes, but you don't think that if people question that they are probably full of shit that the sale pitch won't work? Wouldn't a campaign that's less out there, ie-Italians living abroad not being pissed off that they just praised Pizza Hut, be more effective.

Hell, I like food ads. Taco Bell owns me when they come out with something new. Still, I never actively questioned a Taco Bell ad because they are supposed to be stupid. This is fake stupid mascarading as reality stupid.

So....hard...to.....stay.....good....

Thing is, these commercials have evidently stuck with you, and have you talking about it.  Now, you've put the idea of Pizza Hut, Taco Bell, Coke, Microsoft, Hardees, and Stouffers into X number of heads to be discussed further.

So, honestly, it did it's job.

Also, you just upped those brands Google rankings.

Welcome to the machine, monkey boy.

Eh, if Italians like it, I might as well try it.

Shush.

:awesome_for_real:

Your talking about them.  Thats aaaaaaaallllllll they wanted.  You've just brought up the topic of Pizza Hut Lasagna to a bunch of other people, who are now discussing it.  The absolute only point of advertising is to get you to remember the product/brand name.  Any method they can use to achieve that goal is OK.

(http://www.naturephoto-cz.com/photos/others/european-mole-22725.jpg)

Huh? You watch adverts on TV? Why? That's what remote controls were invented for.

I haven't watched a TV advert for about 20 years now I think, no joke. Mind you we have about 1/4 the amount of ads on UK ad-supported channels that you do in the US and we have several license-funded channels (i.e. only have adverts for themselves on). Oh and I don't actually watch broadcast TV at all any more, but even so.

There's just no reason at all to watch ads any more and I'm sorry to say I have no sympathy for your annoyance with shitty ads when you could so easily just not watch the fucking things.

Ad breaks are on pretty consistent schedules in the states.  Even with a remote you find you're just flipping from ad to ad more often than not. 

Then get up and go and do something else for the 5-10 mins of the ad breaks. Walk up & down the stairs, do your bit to stave off the heart attack/bad back/etc. Make a cup of tea. Have a piss. Talk to your pets, whatever.

ALL adverts are bad for you! Seriously, once I decided that I didn't want to see them any more cos I hated them it was so easy to do. And I#m sure someone will chip in any inute now about how I'm stealing but watching stuff without adverts. I say fuck off. I buy plenty of dvd's and cd's. Suck my cock advertisers. Actually if they started doing that I'd start watching ads again tbfh.  :drill:

I zip past ads on TV.  The most time I spent enduring an ad recently was the XPS ads in FEAR.

Doesn't anybody remember that Penn & Teller's Bullshit episode where they were serving people in a fancy restaurant gourmet water, and the people were saying how good it was and commenting on the different qualities of different kinds of waters?

Meanwhile it was all coming out of the exact same garden hose in back?

People will rave about anything if you stick a camera in their face, and the Italians who went "Thisa pasta, it isa shit! Geta out of my country witha your disgusting food, Americans!" probably didn't make it into the commerical anyway.

It's an aspect of the placebo effect if you think about it.

It's been well demonstrated that certain drugs (e.g. painkillers) *are* more effective if the recipient thinks they're more expensive. It's been shown that the more procedures and paraphernalia associated with a treatment then the more effective it is. There was one study that possibly showed that an anti-ulcer drug became less effective after a new, and supposedly better, drug was released, despite neither the ulcers nor the formulation of the original drug having changed.

Placebo effects are a fascinating area that really needs more quality research, and it's the basis of a LOT of marketing.

There is so much fat and butter and butter in that fucking Pizza Hut shit that it probably tastes like a million dollars.

(http://dl-client.getdropbox.com/u/39720/f13/pizza_hut_pasta.png)

Even the fattest of bastards shouldn't be eating this shit. You're better off wolfing down 4 bowls of fried tofu ramen and a 2 liter of Hawaiian Punch.

To note: I have eaten pizza ONCE since my diet over a year ago, the day I moved into Austin because I was sick of driving. I've eaten pasta ONCE because it was a lamb thing I just couldn't pass up. Also, what's new? Commercials have been like this forever.

570 calories for 1/4 an order?  Shiiiiiiiiit.  Now I'm tempted to go one lunch hour just to see how many people order and eat a whole lasagna themselves.

When I was doing all sorts of research after my dieting, I found that the best way to cut calories out of any meal (say, a hamburger) is to just not get cheese. The bun is better than the cheese anyway and has about the same number of calories. I'm still haven't gained weight out of the bracket I wanted to stay in 225-235 but I'm always somewhere near the middle (for the record, after I got healthy after my surgery, I was about 229). I'll exercise more after I get my shit back together, but yea, food is easy if you're not a goddamn idiot. And anything from Pizza Hut, Domino's or Papa John's is basically built for damned idiots. >_<

I don't start watching anything until 20 minutes in, if I'm watching TV at all. That way you just fast-forward through the commercials.

Personally though, I really haven't found anything sitting on the couch for other than the Wii, and even that's rare. Nowadays if I can't fast-forward through something in a browser window, I'm probably not interested in the series anyway.

It's called sensation transference (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Louis_Cheskin#Sensation_transference). People transfer the aesthetics to the actual quality of the product / service being consumed.

Easiest way to show it in action is to buy a whole range of beers of a similar type, from the cheap junk to the most expensive import. Get someone else to poor them into unmarked glasses. Try to tell the difference without being able to see the can / bottle they came in. With the exception of beers with distinct attributes in the category (e.g. a honey beer where the rest are all lagers, for instance), you probably won't be able to differentiate that well.  

If you are an expert in a field, you are probably more immune to sensation transference since you have greater experience in differentiating things based on consumption. However, most people aren't experts.

You can do the same thing with wine. We had a wine tasting over Christmas with the family. The top ranked bottle was about $30. The $100+ bottle came in 5th out of 12 on a blind test.

Still, the $10 bottle of red did come in last. There are just some things you can't cover up.

My friend's dad made a game out of that for his family. Any time they had wine (most of the time) the label was covered and they had to guess country, region and grape. They're all fairly good at wine tasting needless to say.

I remember an episode of the Food & Drink programme (UK general food TV show) some years ago where they got the poncy wine aficionado presenters to blind-taste wines ranging from £3 to £100+ per bottle.

To their credit they didn't gloss over the fact that there was pretty much zero correlation between their taste ratings and the wine costs, despite them all defending the ridiculous prices of some of the wines.

The funny thing about wine is that beyond a low end threshold of say, $20 a bottle for red & $10 for white, it's all about drinking what you like. For example, some people consider a high priced Bordeaux to be awesome, while I personally wouldn't pay money for any Bordeaux, top end or not.

The prices aren't really set by their taste at all. It's set by supply, time involved in the process, the region, the taxes, the vintage year, the growing conditions, and the vineyard's prestige. None of it is really about taste, other than the link between taste and prestige.

Does the phrase "New wine in old bottles" ring any bells?  Somehow, when put to the test, "connoisseurs" of just about anything that are robbed of the cues, or given misleading ones, consistently turn out to be completely full of shit.  Whether it is pronouncing a 20 year old wine in 80 year old bottles to be far superior to the more modern vintages, or not being able to tell the difference between high-end A/V cables costing hundreds of dollars and lamp wire from Home Depot, if you run a double-blind test, they fail miserably.

There are maybe a handful of people with the taste buds (or eardrums, or visual acuity, or whatever) to actually perceive the differences.  Maybe.  And a whole fucking bunch of over-educated poseurs desperately hoping to be accepted as one of those mutants.

--Dave

Malcolm Gladwell's Blink deals with how experts can instinctively see things that other people can't, even if they can't explain it. It starts with a story of a major art purchase that had passed a lot of tests before one expert took one look and said, "Something isn't right".

But yes, a lot of "experts" might know a lot about the presentation of something but little through its actual consumption or when seeing it at work.

I was about ready to point out that $7,000 or whatever speaker wire thing that was so awful that the Randi Foundation put up a bounty on it, but you effectively already did.

What just hit me is that I'm actually seeing all of this shit from my business and marketing classes being put into use with the latest wave of commercials. I still consider 99% of it retarded however.

If you can't compete on price against other 'brand competitors' you have to find a way to differentiate your product and one of those ways is to do taste testing and the like. Also, who forgot to mention the WhopperVirgins thing?

Fuck that, look at the sodium! That's deadly amounts right there. Jesus Christ no wonder obesity is becoming such a problem.

I've been to a Pizza Hut once in my life and I had a sundae. Most disgusting looking pizza I've ever seen.

"So why would anyone want the $100 bottle of wine?"

"Some people want to spend $100 on a bottle of wine."

My fiancee likes Pizza Hut now and again, I find it completely revolting. The flavor is awful and it's drenched in some horrid grease. Except for rising time on the dough, you can make pizza in less time than getting it delivered.

I'll admit, I ordered a pan of the Marinara pasta from Pizza Hut to eat while watching the game. Wasn't that bad, and was convenient to have delivered, but next time I have the urge I'll just make it myself.

And yes, I ordered it despite being annoyed by the commercial where they serve it in a fancy restaurant.

Pizza Hut covers the bottoms of their pans in a layer of oil so its surface is fried dough, which is why the bottom is so fucking oily. Dough is what makes or breaks a good pizza, anyway, so I guess if you're into the whole cheeseburger-bacon-donut thing you'll love Pizza Hut.  Pappa Murphy's isn't too bad around here, but there's several local joints that are pretty damn good, too.  None can make dough like my parents used to, though, and I long for it.

The grease is why Pizza Hut is so awesome.

I found the best way to reduce cravings for bad food is to look at the nutrition information.  I'll give you three examples of things I was craving that I used to eat casually that made me stop giving a shit because I was horrified at their numbers: Chili's Chocolate Chip Paradise Pie, Applebee's Maple Butter Blondie, BJ's Oatmeal Raisin Pizookie. All of them are liable to make you gain a pound of fat THAT DAY just from having it. 

Those are desserts though, and I have had cravings for "fine dining." I was also thinking of picking up that Lasanga but I knew, KNEW that it would fuck me pretty bad. You really have to hate American restaurant and take-out nutrition if you want to lose weight and have a problem with eating at those places. I try to keep it to soup, smoothies (Odwala), simple veggie sandwiches (whole wheat bread), and just have that every couple of hours.

I hope it helps. I ballooned back up to 220 after Wrath hit (I blame Wrath!) but I'm trying to slowly work it back down by eating right. Avoiding anything that I can't get from my inhouse cafeteria or is from a restaurant goes a long way.

In the UK Pizza Hut has decided to rebrand themselves as Pasta Hut, I shit you not.

My biggest problem is that my wife keep bringing home Krispy Kremes.  I can avoid most everything else if I actually try.  After that it comes down to conveniece, and few things are as convenient as high fructose corn syrup molded into the shape of a favorite food.

Krispy Kreme glazed donuts are nice (I can manage one maybe two if I'm in the mood) but pretty much everything else they do tastes of powdered sugar and artificial flavours.

God. Krispy Kreme is the manna of the gods.

One of the jobs my boy wants to have when he grows up is "donut maker" after a trip to Krispy Kreme to watch the machine in action.  Current alternates are P.E. Teacher (the whistle) and President (you can eat whatever you want).  I'd take any except P.E. Teacher.

Point out that he has to wear short shorts regarless of weather.  That might deter him somewhat.

Open a donut shop in Austin with coca cola and sprite flavored donuts. Yummmmmeh.

Maybe he could become President and open up his own donut shop. There' s probably a below-average sit-com in there at least.

Original Glazed Krispy Kreme Doughnut
Nutritional Facts
Serving Size 52g

Calories - 200
Calories from Fat - 100

Total Fat (g) - 12
% Daily Value - 18

Saturated Fat (g) - 6
% Daily Value -  29

Cholesterol (mg) - 5
Sodium (mg) - 95

Carbohydrates (g) - 22
% Daily Value - 7

Sugars (g) - 10

Are those bad numbers?  I figure if I eat ten of them, I'm done for the day.

I'm fairly sure Yeg has the metabolism of a 12 year old. So I don't think that matters much.

However, I'd rather eat 10 of those than a crate of PH lasagna.

No longer.  Between May and October of 2008, I gained 20 pounds.  Fucking light switch.  Now I can't fit into most of my pants but refuse to buy larger ones out of stubbornness.  I've been 150-155 since early 20's and I refuse to admit that I'm 170+.

I bought a large number of clothes when I was 200 (with new muscularity). I'm putting a halt to my weight gain before I outgrow my thin and my fat clothes. But I do want to fit into those pants again. The more knowledge I arm myself with about the unhealthiness of the food I eat, the easier it is. Knowledge is power, baby.

I lost ~25 pounds just by cutting out saturated fat as much as I could manage after I got a bad cholesterol test. It is hard to stick with that though, I'm back up about 10 pounds from the low mark (~185 now, was ~175 and would really like to be around 165).

Fuck that, Papa johns is way better.

Using the Meat Lover's pizza (which is probably the greasiest pizza they have) for both franchises, Papa John's comes in at a respectable 3.5 g per slice of a medium pizza, but Pizza Hut has 7g. Does more Saturated Fat mean better grease? YOU DECIDE.

It really is fun to look up the nutritional information on this shit. Just eye-balling the numbers, Papa Johns seems to make healthier pizzas. Note that "healthier" is a relative comparison.

Greasy pizza = you're doing it wrong. Living in a place that is heavily Italian (if you couldn't guess by my general trends in cooking) has lent me some strong opinions on pizza. Which are also correct opinions!

True story, people who fold pizza slices in half also fuck children.

Tastes better too, and No "The shits" afterwords.  :drill:

I always hated Pizza Hut.  Their dough sucks compared to Pappa John's or Domino's, and I didn't much care for their cheese, either.  My favorite was a little place name Giovanni's that sold pizza in the local mall when growing up.  I haven't found anywhere that makes pizza like they did.  Not that it much matters since eating pizza guarantees I'll have a bad couple of days.

Dunkin Donuts is the best, too.  I can't stand Krispy Kreme.

Even though I've put on weight in the past year or so, people always ask how I stay so thin.  It's easy when your two choices are eat a regular diet and cause yourself massive pain and eventual malnutrition from a destroyed digestive tract, or don't eat.  Y'all should try it if you want to cut the calories.

If you havn't eaten pizza from Jersey or New York you've never eaten pizza before.  Fucking Pizza Hut and Popa Johns can go fuck themselves.

Lantyssa, don't forget the sauce. Such a crucial part.

Draegan, I'd include Chicago as a 'great pizza' town.

Pizza Hut, Domino's, and all that shit can lick my ass. I'll eat the $5 pizza from Little Caesars if I want it NOW and CHEAP. If I want to spend just a couple bucks more and wait a few minutes while it's being made, there's a little privately-owned hole in the wall around here that puts everything else to shame.

Pizza Hut is alright, but their dough is way too sweet due to all the sugar they put in it. Papa Johns is alright as well but I'm tired of it.

Me and my friends only get pizza from local places and some less known chains (monical's).

Going to a Krispy Kreme and stuffing your face with glazed donuts right off the line is Nirvana.

Hmm maybe.  I've never eaten there and I've also heard it's good so I will concede to your point.

It's a different style than New York, but  it's damn fine 'za.

Comparing New York to Chicago style pizza is like comparing doughnuts to hamburgers. They have some things in common, but they are effectively two totally different groups of food.

I prefer the Chicago style myself, but I also am also somewhat biased by my geographical location.

 :uhrr: :awesome_for_real:   You've had some damn strange hamburgers or donuts, Chimpy.

I grew up in NJ, and live near Chicago. Entirely different foods, I miss NJ/NY style pizza, it is impossible to get here. But a Giordanos/Eduardos/Malnatis(only on a good day) is amazing.

Weirdly, good NJ/NY style pizza can be found in Atlanta, but not Chicago style. (Oz Pizza, nice guys, crap locations)

(http://docwalk.files.wordpress.com/2008/07/lutherburger.jpg)
"Luther Burger" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Luther_Burger), aka "Would you like a heart attack to go with that stroke?"

--Dave

So what's the difference between "New York" and "Chicago" style pizzas?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chicago_pizza
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_York-style_pizza

I don't think Chicago style has made it to the UK. While I've heard of it it looks more like a bastardised quiche than a pizza.

It's definitely pizza and not a quiche, but it's certainly capable of killing you the same way. Also, done right, it's fucking deliccccccious.

]

Oh God, that looks foul.

It's a meat pie not a quiche since it doesn't have the eggs/custard in the filling.

That's the part that makes me get fucking pissed. In our little italian town there are about a dozen pizza joints. There used to be about 25 or so. The fact that you have this amazing variety of pizza, all freshly made (we have a mozz shop in town and also a garlic grower)...and people buy fucking chain garbage. I hate fucking moronic mainstream stupid fucking tools.

Same goes for all the cool little restaurants struggling to make it, selling great food for ridiculously cheap prices (usually a dinner for two is $20-30 with a beer), but every night the one chain we have (fucking Applebys) is packed full plus takeaways. We have eaten there a couple times for variety and we can't eat there for business lunch because the service is shitty and slow, we don't eat there for dinner because the cooks are retards and can't cook a vegetable and a dinner for two with a beer is around $45. For shitty food and atmosphere.

If you couldn't tell from my comment about pizza folders, I favor chicago style. I like a good thick chewy crust.

Chicago pizza isn't for everyone though, that is for sure.  Come to think of it, neither is NY/NJ pizza.

Bourdain's new episode is in Chicago and I think he summed up my feelings on Chicago style pizza perfectly.  It's just a different eating experience. 

Just for the heck of it I made a clip of the Throwdown With Bobby Flay Deep Dish Pizza episode showing Mark Malnati of Lou Malnati's explaining how to make Chicago-style deep dish pizza. I cut around all the interspered parts with Bobby in the kitchen making his pizza which is why it's a bit "choppy" in  places. Also not stated in this clip but you can see it is that the tomato sauce is chunky in Chicago-style pizza.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cH_ymnmarRU

A half pound of cheese? How is Malnati not the fattest guy ever? Shouldn't he be partaking in the food he takes such pride in making?

I don't trust skinny people making food for fat people. Let's have some honesty in the culinary industry, eh.

I know many fit people that cook wonderful and decadent things.  The key is portion control.  You can eat about anything you want as long as the calorie count works out in the end.  Of course, high quality foods are always best.

That Three Little Pigs sandwich was out of control :ye_gods:

I don't actually use tomato sauce at all. For a pie with tomato, I use petite diced canned tomatoes, which need to be drained extensively.

At the risk of intersecting VL's thread, one of my favorite pies is just dough brushed with evoo and sprinkled with herbs, a light smattering of diced tomato, fresh basil and a light coating of mozz. I've worked at a ton of places, several of them served pizza. I was taught to always go light on toppings for a better cooked pie, especially cheese and sauce.

That's the Neapolitan way of making pizza, aka the Pizza Margherita.

I am proud of where this thread derail is going.

It's all about advertising, which is fucking expensive.  My parents always saw an uptick in sales when we blew a large wad on advertising, but we couldn't compete with Pappa John's/ Pizza Hut and their ads being blasted in prime time on every concievable channel.  Folks here claim to not watch ads, but that's ok because plenty of others do and are very influenced by it.  If they weren't ads wouldn't exsist.  :oh_i_see:

:heart:

That was my biggest complaint about pizza when I could eat it.  People thought loading it with cheese and sauce meant it must be better.  That's why I loved the little place in the mall.  The sauce was just enough for flavor, the cheese just enough to form a crisp layer.  The dough was thin, but cooked to perfection.  No grease at all.  Damn.  It's been twenty-five years but I miss that place. :cry:

Tomato sauce?  Bah.  This (http://www.fazzaris.com/pizzamenushotsy.htm) is the best pizza in existence.  Although their "Shabam" is also good.

I've recently converted my fiancee away from ordering extra cheese. A few light (neapolitan, I knew there was a word, heh) pizzas was all it took.

Merusk, sorry about the family biz. I hate that kind of thing (if you couldn't tell by my minirant).

Poly, pies with tomatoes is only one major segment of mine. The other is a 'sauceless' (technically all mine are) based on evoo and garlic. Mustard...eh, I don't get into the fringe pizza market. To each their own, I've had some great odd pies, but I don't care to make them. Like I tell VL, I like to keep it simple. And I guess mostly traditional, I don't really see the need to move into experimental food :) Anyway, the only "rule" is highest quality ingredients possible, that's where I expend my energy, trying to find good ingredients.

I know the mustard sauce sounds awful, but it's fabulous.  The only problem with the place is that if you don't get in early, you're outta luck--it's *always* packed.  Well, that and they won't deliver 35 miles away :P

Don't be.  It paid the bills long enough but it was the lack of healthcare that drove them to sell it more than any, 'omg we're hemorrhaging money and can't pay the bills,' as far as I know.

Oh absolutely. I've never claimed ads don't work. I'm even not naive enough to claim that they don't work on me - despite my best efforts to avoid them I still recognise a vast number of brands, logos, labels etc etc etc.

The effort, skill, art, psychology, tactics, planning etc that go into advertising is astounding. It's just such a stupid fucking waste of human effort that's made necessary by the ridiculous system we live in where everything becomes a commodity  :oh_i_see:

Anyway, the derail is kinda more interesting tbh... I'd like to have a go at making the Chicago-style pizza, I presume there's no way other than having the right kind of deep pizza dish?

I got my authentic NY at Anthony's 360, just east of the Big Chicken.  Too bad it's closed down.  Have not found a Chicago pizza place at all, not even an attempt.

Dunkin "Donuts" are just cake with a missing center.  Ever wonder why they pimp the coffee so hard?  Someone might call them on their donut bullshit.

Dunkin Donuts are in fact not donuts. Also, Pizzeria Uno is seriously as close to Chicago Deep Dish as you need to get. It's the one chain that really got the local brand/type correct the first time out. That shit will kill you though. I've always personally assumed that Chicago is the fattest place in America. I came to this realization the day after having Uno for the first time. God, it really is just... an amazing piece of foodery.

You need to be a fucking walrus to survive winter in Chicago, so I believe it.

I just gave up and started making my own pizza.  Breadmaker with a "Dough Only" cycle.  2 cups of flour, 2 tablespoons of brown sugar, 1.5 tablespoons of fast-acting yeast, 1/4 cup of olive oil, 1.5 cups of water, then 2 more cups of flour and 1 teaspoon of "italian seasoning".  Raise it once in the breadmaker, then transfer to a cake-pan sized plastic storage container and let it rise again (make sure to coat the container bottom and the top of the dough with flour).  Flatten the dough and even out the flour coating, cut in half, each half will be enough for a 12-14 inch pizza.  Bake on the bottom rack of your oven at 400 for 18 minutes (may need longer if you go nuts with the cheese).

The downside is that you have to start working on your pizza 2-3 hours before you get to eat it, which makes it a weekend thing usually.  The upside is pizza that actually tastes good, has exactly what you want on it in the amounts you want, and doesn't make you puke it all back up if you eat too much because it's so full of grease.  If you want something different for the sauce (my wife likes KC Masterpiece barbecue sauce), you just use it.  Currently I'm experimenting with trying to make my own sauce because the brand I like (Pastorelli) is inconsistently available.

--Dave

Chicago winters are for pussy's.

Their pizza > NY/NJ pizza. It's the truth.

A Chicago Italian Beef >>>>> All.

I miss that sandwich.

No wonder I come equipped with a layer of blubber. (Born near Chicago, spent infancy there, spend a winter in my early 20's).

My favourite pizza place disappeared a while back. Had really shitty location, plus I think the person who owned it died. We stumbled upon it during my sister's birthday, she was acting like a bitch so Mom said we are going to the next restaurant we see, and Antonio's was it. There was a waitress there that looked almost exactly like Marilin Monroe (wasn't a theme restaurant or anything, and she didn't dress up like her).

Man it was fucking good.

I tried making my own pizza tonight for the first time using a Mario Batali recipe for the dough. It was ok, but not right. If anybody has found a perfect dough recipe to replace these fast food idiots I'm game. I figure the best stuff comes from home and not from the ads.

Oddly, the best pizza I've ever eaten in my entire life is in Japan, a chain called Salvatore Cuomo.  I'm not sure it exists in any county other than Japan and Italy, but damn- living a block from that place is slowly killing me.

We've discovered that pizza dough freezes pretty well before rising. Just make sure you either oil or flour the ball of dough REALLY well before wrapping it in clingfilm and freezing it. Bugger to get the wrap off otherwise!

Take it out in the morning before you go to work, unwrap it when you get home and give it 30 mins in a warmish place, tada, ready to top & cook  :awesome_for_real:

Check out the link in the VL thread to learn more about dough. I was interested to hear he likes to fridge the dough for up to six days for optimal dough! I have a ball of dough that's been in the fridge since Saturday, going to pull it out tonight or tomorrow and put that to the test. It does look better already, I was eyeing it this morning before I left.

I definitely agree with him in that few americans seem to have a properly calibrated scale of pizza. Thus all the retards in my city eating pizza hut and dominos and little caesers while these amazing little pizza shops all go under.

Did you get one with fish eyes on it yet?

If for some really strange reason you find yourself in Columbus Ohio, try Rotolo's Pizza.  (Not that any of you should find yourselves here if you can help it, by any means.)  It's one of the best non-NY/Chicago pizzas I've ever had; no pizza bone (crust on a ny pizza) but the dough is rolled thicker (3/4") than your average pie.  Super quality ingredients, too.  You might think Donato's Pizza when thinking of Columbus, but Rotolo's is nothing like it. 

http://www.rotolospizza.com/index.php

It's all preference, but I'm a NY pizza guy.  There's pretty much nothing better than grabbing a few slices from a deli in NYC, folding them up and walking around the city.  There's a great place near the museum of natural history that we hit every time we go. 

Also, I get a cold everytime I eat at Pizzeria Uno.  Literally, not the flu, but a cold.  All three times I've eaten there in my life. 

I wonder if anyone has made vacation plans to travel across the country and go Anthony Bourdain on America, trying different and local flavors of foods based on local reputation. That is, most popular thing in the area, go there, eat it, move on.

It'd give me a good excuse to go around the country.

These days there's not that much "regional" flavor left, that hasn't already been shoved through the maw of the food industry, rendered tasteless and textureless, and franchised throughout Generica.  The "most popular thing in the area" is going to be McDonald's or Subway, everywhere.

--Dave

I guess there's always Europe.

I'm not living in a highly-industrialized nation so I have to make my own pizza.

Don't you live in...Ohio, or something?

Not that that would invalidated your statement.

Atlanta to Atlanta-ish.  I suppose that was worded strangely.  What I meant is that if I wanted to make my own pizza, I could live in the tropics and sit on the beach all day.  Instead, I am a cog in Corporate America so I can have others do this for me.

Ah, I re-read your post seven times, and now it makes complete sense.

I've been to Atlanta once.  Maybe I met you.  Were you a Nigerian limo driver/limo company proprieter who tries to convert people to Christianity?  If so, I'd like to thank you for the excellent service.

No, I'm a hairy russian limo driver that attempts to sell you vitamins.

Guy Fieri!

*ducks from VL's wrath*

Just got spam about this shit. Everything is a selling point these days.

(http://dl-client.getdropbox.com/u/39720/f13/3fuckingpounds.png)

3

FUCKING

POUNDS!

The breadsticks seem like overkill.

I wonder what part of the Italian they use to season the meat sauce.  :ye_gods:

Chicago pizzas can easily top 3lbs.

Falc's not coming over here to sell body parts to Pizza Hut is he?  :ye_gods:

He's not in the Brazilian goat trade, as far as I know.

Serves 4 huh?  :oh_i_see:

Or one fat-ass.

Believe me, I tried.

Just in a side by side comparison a Stouffer's frozen lasagna has 130 less calories, 12g less fat, and 5g less saturated fat per serving than the Pizza Hut one. Were you to eat a whole one, just by eating Pizza hut the difference is more than 500 Calories and 48 grams of fat. Even a Quarter Pounder with cheese doesn't have that kind of calorie/fat ratio.

Gee... I wonder why obesity and heart disease are such a problem in the US?  :uhrr:

They have a Pescatore option, but that just has mussels, octopus, scallops and the like (and is my favorite type).  I'll have to see if there is anything with fish eyes- maybe its not on the gaijin-accessible part of the menu (and seriously, why do Japanese places only translate half the menu?  Everytime I go somewhere with a Japanese friend, they say "Oh, they didn't translate these options."). 

The Chicago pizza shown in the video I made on the previous page weighed in at 6 pounds including the pan and it was a pretty small pan.

It's their way of figuring out who the riff-raff are.

I'd file this in the same bin with the fact that white people don't get the real spice in some asian restaurants.  They are pretty sure you will just send it back.

Here is real kicker, you don't even need to believe advertised message for you to start considering their product. As long as adds don't piss you off enough to consciously think about avoiding product they are successful.

When I lived in Okinawa there was a pizza place that was very popular and in the window they had wax display pizzas, one of which had enormous tuna eye-balls on it.  My brothers fiance, who is Chinese, swears that they are delicious.

Today's Sage Advice: Do not read about the ingredients Asian people put in their food while you have an upset tummy.

I'm watching Man vs. Food where the host is in Atlanta Georgia taking on the Carnivore Pizza, a 30" pie that weighs 11 pounds. Apparently you win $250 bucks if you can eat the pizza in under an hour.

Yes fish eyes are considered delicacies in Chinese cuisine and in fact the entire fish head is given to the guest of honor at meals.

It's called Big Pie in the Sky in Kennessaw, so they took some liberties on what "Atlanta" really is. It's actually it's own city 30 miles NW of town. However, the slices there are $3.75 for a one topping, and they are in fact bigger than your head. They cut them out of their 30" pizza. Nobody has actually completed that challenge yet, either. You'd have to find two people that can handle 5.5 pounds of food each in an hour, not to mention the grease factor of all meat on that thing.

Kobayashi could do it. We just need to clone him.

I was really impressed though, Adam, the host, almost did his. I'd just love to have one slice to be honest. 3.75 is a pretty damn good price though that's because it's Georgia and I've been living in California for 6 or so years.

Note to self, never be guest of honor.

The (extremely good) Japanese restaurant down the street from me used to have a note on their supplementary menu saying "Items marked with the  :oh_i_see: symbol are difficult for the Western palate" or something to that effect. And they actually used the straight-line-mouth smiley face to mark them. Sadly the menu doesn't have those markings anymore - at least until someone accidentally orders something with natto again.

I had a friend who loved natto, but she was raised from a tiny kidlett on it.  Even she admits it's nasty.

Am I being racist to point out that Chinese will eat anything?  Fish heads, also jellyfish.  I tried the jellyfish and it's the definition of "acquired taste".

When your people are that poor, you learn to not be picky.

Jellyfish is usually quite expensive (it's a long arduous process to make it edible). So is a fish head as you have to order a entire fish for that. Jellyfish also doesn't have much flavor -- it's all about the texture and whatever sauce or marinade it's been in. It's roughly akin to eating cooked octopus or squid with their "crunchy" texture except more slippery. Americans aren't into the varying textures of food like many other cultures are.

Fuck Jellyfish and fuck... Mushrooms. Both of them don't even belong on this planet.


Squid jerky is some good shit, however.

[edit]


Not to sound bias or anything, but Thai food is fairly conventional compared to other Asian stuff, I think. Besides the peppers. They do eat fishheads and stuff, but it's not a common thing. Most of what you see in a Thai restaurant is daily diet. Stir fry type dishes, crab, fish, egg rolls, tons of rice, desserts with coconut milk.. No jellyfish or eels, or whatever.

Yeah the "weird" shit the Chinese go for tend to be only for special occasions, daily diet stuff is pretty conventional. The problem when visiting people is that they want to treat their Western guests to the best cuisine China has to offer, so instead of getting the everyday stuff you'd probably quite enjoy you get fishheads and duck feet.

 The Chinese also generally don't like caviar and think Westerners are weird for doing so.

You haven't had my sauteed mushrooms. I've yet to meet a mushroom hater who hasn't added and exception for mine.

I'm actually warming up to mushrooms to be honest. I might just like yours. Still don't want too many of them around though, like in spaghetti or something. That's going to piss me off.

I used to not think twice.. But to this day, I've taken more psilocybin in one sitting than I've ever witnessed another person take.. and I think that's where the hatred extends from.

Alright, I admit that culturally "my people" eat some weird shit.  Souse.  Pig knuckles.  Any part of the chicken that isn't intestines or head.  It's the varying texture that I can't stand, I suppose, since gristle and fat just make me ill.  Jellyfish was like that, and the sesame seeds didn't help.

Chitlins!  I have never eaten a chitlin, despite many opportunities.  If it still smells like pig shit when it's on your plate, I'm not going to eat it.

Mushrooms grow in shit.

Since I can not each cheese anymore due to it fucking up my digestive system someone has brought it to my attention that there is "soy cheese pizza" available.  I think it's an abomination and a disgrace to pizza everywhere, but since I'm doomed to a cheeseless existence has anyone eaten anything like this before?

And is it adequate?

I gave my son some soy milk once and he puked it up.

Veggie Cheese is pretty good.

Just do *not* start discussing the manufacturing method for Thai fish sauce when somebody is about to start eating it, or just has.

--Dave

Kroger's sometimes carries glutten-free pizza crusts.  I use one of them, ~1/6 can of tomatoe paste, and Veggie Shreds, with browned ground beef and it makes a delicious pizza-like substance.  I'm quite happy with the taste.  It's not quite the same as a 'real' pizza, however I cannot say if it's the cheese, the crust, or the combination.

Note I say this as someone with a dislike for cheese since I was little.  Besides having weird taste buds, I instinctually knew it didn't agree with me even if it took until I was older to understand why I avoided it.  The only things with cheese I liked were pizza, cheese toast, and the occasional grilled cheese sandwich.

Cheese is pretty damn great stuff. But nasty if you think about it.

I love fish sauce, but yes, the process is, god. Just bad.

Yes. No.

Well, I mean anything with that amount of bacteria and mold and has to be "matured" is nasty if you think about it. Luckily, I don't think about it really.

All that said, my favorite cheeses are the conventional ones. Cheddar is king. Just like a fucking Snickers bar is better than $50 chocolates.

You seem like a Kraft Singles kinda guy.

As long it's Cheddar or Swiss. American Cheese is bland.. about the only situation it's preferable for are grilled cheese sandwiches. I can't think of another occassion where I'd use that over the other two.

Curious. Do you like bamboo?  :awesome_for_real:

On top of a saltine?  Wrapped around a Vienna Sausage?

:awesome_for_real:

That's still a job for Cheddar.  :grin:

Veggie cheese is normal cheese, the only different is the rennet used in the manufacturing process is artificially created rather than cropped from the stomachs of freshly slaughtered calves. When I see veggie cheese that costs more than non-veggie I really do sigh as I think of the tasty little calves and their double sacrifice for good food.

Yes.

Seriously.  The Thai place I love uses it as one of the ingredients in my favorite dish.  It's delicious.

I like catching fish with bamboo poles. Don't know about eating them though (the poles I mean.. the fish are fine).

Just going back to the cheese thing... what about yogurt? I mean who first thought to themselves "Hmmmm I wonder what that bowl of milk that's gone rancid tastes like?". Or blue cheese.... someone had a lump of cheese that had gone really mouldy and thought ahh fuck it I'm really hungry?

These people are gastronomic pioneers who should be recognised in poem!

I've had bamboo shoots in some Vietnamese food I ate as well. They are tasty!

My easy stir fry mainly consists of water chestnuts, bamboo sprouts, baby corn and one or two other things.  Sometimes that is broccoli, or soybeans, or whatever.  Fry the fuck out of it and put on the soy!

Well, when you think about it, people used to eat whateverthefuck didn't kill them. Offal, heads, bones, insects.. nothing wasted. Many parts of the world still follow the old ways. Especially in Europe and Asia.

Bamboo is good, but my only issue with it is that it sometimes reminds me of the elephant house at the zoo.  Not joking. 

LMAO.

I haven't stopped looking at my food and wondering about its origins since Apocrypha brought it up.  Cheese is a great one.. rennet is cow's digestive juice.. who the fuck thought "hey let's add this to the milk and see what happens!"  Raw meats, cooking and vegetables I can understand to a point but foods that go through a process to be created make me wonder.   

And who was the first guy to figure out how to eat blowfish.  Did he kill thousands going, "Woops, that's not it" every time?

Cheese was most likely due to the fact that stomachs were natural bags.

"Hey, you know that chewy crap that comes out of a fresh stomach when you store your milk in it?  That shit is pretty tasty, you know?"

For historical accuracy you should probably say that in a French accent.

If your sense of history doesn't span much time.

I actually watched a show on the Food Network the other day on the history of cheese, and it goes back many thousands of years, if I recall.  That's all I had to add.

"I'm sorry, I can't hear you - I'm too busy waiting for this fruit juice to rot so that I can get buzzed!"

Encroyable! You suggest that ze French 'ave not invented le fromage?!
(I was thinking historical accuracy along the lines of Monty Python's the Holy Grail...)

Also there are Orang-outangs that also leave fruit to rot in rock depressions and drink the fermented juices to get drunk.

Considering cheese-making (along with many other foods) actually predates recorded language, we'll never know how it came to be used. Like any great food discovery, I have to assume it was either out of great necessity (see: eating a raw oyster), or in this case just a happy accident.

Oysters, however, (and clams) you can put down to mimicry of otters.  See what the animals eat without dying and know you can probably do the same.  Like I said previously, food that goes through a process to be created makes you wonder, "What exactly possessed the first guy..."   Candy, syrup, cheese, chocolate, etc.

Right, but it still had to be a dude who was dying or stupid. I mean, nobody looks at a raw oyster for the first time and thinks, mmmm. They think it looks like a giant booger.

If the sea monkey hypothesis pans out then it'd be natural for our ancestors to have been eating oysters before they had the cognative skills for someone to ponder if they really wanted to eat that.

Plus ancient man would probably have looked at something that looked like a giant booger and thought, "looks like food!" anyway. I somehow doubt most had a refined and delicate pallete. Hell beyond that oysters were pretty much stock snack food around Europe until the late 1800's.

For ancient man, I'm pretty sure what didn't kill him got eaten again. Hell, our refined pallettes that scoff at offal bits of meat is only a century or two old at most. Medieval man would have eaten whatever he could find too.

Modern man's palate isn't as refined as he might think it is. Look no further than a starving man.

The line between civilized man and skull pounds rock for sustenance is very very thin.

Only if you look at it with your 20th/21st century 1st world mindset.

I left my 5000 BC mindset in my carry-on.

Shame you seem to have left your logic and perspective in there as well. Oh sorry, I forgot your special perspective on the development of man.

"a dude who was dying or stupid"  :awesome_for_real:

Yep, I'm not an anthropologist. I do get a joke when I see one though.

Btw, how the hell did we get on this topic from a comment that an oyster looks like a booger?  :why_so_serious:

I keep a rather long mental shit list of companies that feel the need to constantly insult my intelligence.

Not that it's personal, of course. But if your target audience for that car is "stupid people", then I'm not assuming it's a real peach of a deal.

Oh, and go fuck yourselves because really I'm just a lonely, ornery fucker watching a lot of TV.

Actually, I do the same thing. I'll never buy a Dodge or anything from Old Navy based on their ad campaigns. That's just the most offensive, but there's a long list that I can't stand based on ads. Verizon is on there too.

Not even close. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f_SwD7RveNE)

Head on was only 10s, despite being repetative.

Fran Drescher for Old Navy was WAY more annoying (http://www.break.com/usercontent/2009/1/Josh-Holloway-from-Lost-in-an-Old-Navy-commercial-650750.html)

The fact that it has Sawyer from LOST giving the queer-eye doesn't help either.

It may only have been 10s, but it was usually immediately followed by an annoying 10s commercial for ActivOn, FreedHem, PreferOn or RenewIn followed by another HeadOn commercial. Sometimes they would buy a minute of time to give viewers a triple punch at the start and the end of a commercial break.