f13.net

(http://www.itechnews.net/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/lg-env2-vx9100-verizon.jpg)

Soooooo....yeah I'm kinda stuck with this phone due to some separation stuff (long story).

Any ideas on how I can take this out of my pocket without feeling like a chick? I'm not sure I wanna take a sharpie too it, or or some kinda like ......decal or something for it. It is actually a damn nice phone. Anyone know about Verizon and how they work trade-ins and stuff? The nearest real verizon place is way outta the way so I figured I'd fire away here. Thanks

That is one hell of an ugly phone.

That's the exact phone my daughter had before she changed to AT&T and got an iphone. 

Oh... now I get what you mean with the "chick" comment.

I have the black version of that, which replaced the pink RAZR I inherited when I dropped my old phone.  I actually have a black rubber skin you can wrap around the EnV2, I just took it off because it wasn't worth not being able to feel the keys.  Should be able to order it through Verizon Customer Service if going to a physical store is too much of a PITA.

Or you can just suck it up and use it as is.  It's not like it's pink (or even as bright as it looks in that pic, my daughter got that version of it).

--Dave

I don't see the problem.

Same here.  It's burgundy.  "Ooooh!  Chick phone!"

For Christ's sake, it's not like it's hot pink with Hello Kitty and daisies all over it.

I mean, shit, I have a Virgin Mobile pay as you go phone because:

A) I hardly ever have to put more than $10/month into it.

B) Unless a killer is after you I don't want to hear from you.

C) I refuse to text.  Fucking refuse.

Yeah, be confident enough in your heterosexuality to use a fuschia phone.

Or get a matching sundress and bonnet, fag.

I think my problem is, I'd use a pink & Hello Kitty flavored phone and it'd be awesome. Sadly, they are not available.

Have considered becoming a chick to match your phone?

FIFY

You could use the phone around me and I'd never notice. I thought it was brown.  :uhrr:

Man, is anything with color besides black a "chick" something now? Yeesh.

Not sure anyone said that?

Ahh, another red/green color blind person. I love it when I'm told a pair of pants or shirt I have isn't brown or grey. 

The problem is that two posters indicated this is the phone their daughters use or used.

Slay, you're going to have to make your calls from inside a toilet stall from now on unless you can find some 1337 PSP skins to stick on it.  If they still make the Hellraiser Cube one, I recommend it.

The cool chicks use black anyway.  :drillf:

I'd totally use that phone.  The comment about my daughter (aside from being true) was meant to be funny.  

I guess I failed.

FWIW my motorola phone is exactly the same color.  I like it.  Maybe I'm gay and I don't know it?

I'd love to see some badass biker with a phone like that. Staring people down /daring/ someone to make a comment.

I was also trying to be funny and maybe I failed.  I need a larger sample of respondents.


No, you're just old and don't give a shit or have different sensibilities.  I'd use that phone, no problems, but I'd probably use a bagphone too if it had the Cat Party ringtone.

I'm still hoping that purses for men will become respectable.  Car keys, wallet, cell phone, iPod.  I'm supposed to carry all this shit in my pockets?

Call me a fag, but I want a purse.

Messenger Bags are in with the kids now, Gulp. I have a messenger-bag murse. It's awesome.

That particular shade doesn't strike me as particularly bad. As long as it's not indigo, purple or bright pink, I'd say you're good to go.

Another way to man it up a bit, Slay, would be to stencil your ganking killcount on any available surfaces of the phone, jet-fighter style. That might just shift you over to being an incredible nerd, though. Alternately, racing flames. Everything is better with racing flames.

Dude, that phone ain't girly. My previous phone was pearly red :oops:. Sometimes when I had to answer it, I stood in a corner and faced the wall so people wouldn't see it. I got rid of it. Now I'm feeling butch with my fruit phone.

Cat Party!? pff, welcome to 6 months ago, I'm into dog party now. 


I loved that show and just watched the last episode yesterday.

Wat, there's a Dog Party ringtone?  zomg

Do you try to bluff like you know what color something is? Ingmar will often take a wild guess at what color something is (blue versus purple is my favorite). I always forget he is guessing until he guesses wrong.  :heart:

Get your hands ridiculously dirty working on your car or strangling a python to death in the Amazon.

Then use your phone to text manly things to people.

The resulting dirt and/or blood will cast all doubts of your manhood out the window.

PS: Sorry re: separation.

Let's not get into tossing someone's manhood out the window.

(http://lauriekendrick.files.wordpress.com/2007/10/lorena1.jpg)

Burgundy with like a purple hue to it.  I held it to the screen and this one is quite a bit more purple.

It's a fuckin' chick phone. To make matters worse, I now am the proud owner of an 05 Silver Crysler Sebring Sedan. Another separation gift (and thanks Hat).

So I am a single man with a chick phone and chick car. The car I can handle, as it is pretty nice, but the phone won't do as is. And I have been kinda dating for a few weeks now, and EVERYONE fuckin texts these days. This is good for me, as I never failed to score chicks back in the day once I got them on AIM. I have some sort of IM 'game' that works. And so far so good in the present.

Anyway, this isn't about Slay's latest action...it's about this fuckin' phone. How bad is that cover thing Mahrin?

And schild, nice title change.

On a slightly more serious note I bet with a little social engineering you could order a new shell for it in a different color.  Call verizon and give the the omfg I just broke my brand new billion dollar phone and i don't have insurance.  "It still works great but the guts are hanging out of it!" Just keep em on the line with circular logic until they let you order the part (a nice black replacement shell) through their tech department.  Or just say screw it and add insurance before driving over it with your car a few times.

His chick car probably can't handle the emotional stress.

You should get these to go with it:

(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/21XTqTcQZsL._AA160_.jpg)

(hotlinkedbitch!)

Niiiiice color.  That would go great with a lot of my fancier dresses.

 :drillf:

Well played, sir.

Well, at least give us the whole story. Wat happen? Can we blame Eve? Or did you pk her?

If he pk'd her, she dropped loot that was bind on pick-up, and dye colours are hard to find.

Unfortunately, the ladies tend to get to chose which items are soulbound.

Frankly, if my daughter hadn't wanted the same model, I might have gotten the burgundy one myself.  But then, it was replacing a BRIGHT FUCKING PINK RAZR, which I vainly attempted to conceal inside a red plastic shell.

The cover is the black version of this (http://www.gyvergear.com/brands/lg/vx9100/index-sil.html), or close enough as not to matter.  The way it turned the keys to mush was annoying, and the part that goes around the display kept pulling loose when I'd fish it out of a pants pocket (the inside of it has only a quarter-inch or so to hold it in place, and it's way too stretchy).  That same site seems to have some hardshell cases (http://www.gyvergear.com/brands/lg/vx9100/index-shld.html) that don't suck, although most of them seem designed to make it *more* girly.  You'll still have burgundy keys, but if you compensate with something aggressively masculine like the Camo or Carbon Fiber, everyone will at least think you're very butch, definitely a Top.

Actually, I might get that Purple Zebra or Falls Fairy case for my daughter.  And a black rubberized one for myself, before I drop this one on the ground and get stuck with the BRIGHT FUCKING PINK RAZR again.

--Dave

You should get the Lavender RAZR.  Mine is lovely.  :drillf:

(http://www.geekalerts.com/u/hello-kitty-mobile-speaker.jpg)

I'm out.  I can't top this one.

9 years was a good run but in the end I was two boxing while she got ganked by some d-bag.

I ended up getting some weird black kinda cover. The chick, decent looking blond with a nice ass (not sure why this is important at all to the story but I'm still rolling with it), that sold it too me said "You're overthinking this"... and I said "wanna fuck?" and she said "yes."  Best. Purchase. Ever.

I can't decide now if you're joking or not.

I can't even decipher that. But I haven't had caffeine. I'll be back in a bit.

"Wanna fuck?" is surprisingly effective, in my experience.

How about on non-groupies?

I accidentally deposited $380 extra dollars into my Sprint account recently. Can't get it back. Trying to decipher and/or resign myself to that is far more difficult than some girly ass phone.

Yes. Even better because you can win decent side bets on non-groupies.

How I wish they had a pink iPhone.  I would buy that shit in a second.

This works.

Never tried it, but I've had several girls over the years say it would work on them if they were interested in the guy. That's the hard part.  The myth that women are asexual creatures who only go to bed with men to get goods is just that. A myth.  They want a good fuck as much as we do.

I agree.  Just watch out or you'll be dodging baggage like OJ in a Hertz commercial.

It works, even if you're telling it to a married woman, who's anniversary is within a few days, has her husband standing not 10 feet away, you're in a widely populated outdoor area, and you're not even near a bed.

Wanna Fuck or just telling a girl you wouldn't mind sleeping with her usually work. Course, could be that I'm around College girls.

College girls and housewives, that is.


Note: I've never actually followed through with somebody's wife - right in the moment - myself.  :oh_i_see: Just tested the waters in moments of jovial drunkeness. Seems to work?

"Wanna make out and see where it takes us?" is a lot less aggressive.

Wait.  "I wouldn't mind sleeping with you" works?  No.  I don't believe that would even work on an art major.

Single life is glorious and shit all at the same time. I miss my kids.

Jesus, chicks REALLY frikkin like texting these days. I mean, a phone conversation would cover an hour's worth of texting in, say, 4 minutes.

So now my nights consist of texts from

Jackie - 20 year old Chick

Pros - Has own apartment, cute,  has nice body, no baggage
Cons -  lacking intelligence (understatement), very immature,

Kristie - 26 year old Massage Therapist and secretary

Pros - Has own apartment, has great body, no baggage, MASSAGE THERAPIST
Con - Batshit crazy (I know, they are all crazy but she is a little weird), work relationship, strange morals

Danielle - 30 year old Waitress Divorcee

Pros - Beautiful, Smart, great body
Cons - Dealing with divorce, lives with her grandma (sometimes staying at her ex's), joint custody of her son

I'm a 29 year old father of two, livin in an appt with my bro just trying to get by.

And no, I have never had the balls to ask a random woman 'Wanna fuck?' or anything similar. Though I have seen some success from friends of mine, just isn't my style.

Anyway, no identity crisis here...just on the prowl with my non-chick phone in my 05 Sebring WOOOOO

lol

You and Strazos should start a blog.

Call it "Two Geeks, A Phone and a Gaming Site."

Title Ideas, anyone?

Picture Me Rollin' in my 05 Sebring
I have a bitch Phone but still pull Ass
Bitches Love Smiley Faces

"Two sides, same sad coin"

"I put my blog in her"

http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=ArgWxB-vSL8&feature=related

Funny Boondocks clip about textin...

I'm now picturing Slayerik as Jimmy McNulty (http://www.hbo.com/thewire/cast/characters/jimmy_mcnulty.shtml).

Kristie - 26 year old Massage Therapist and secretary


NO NO NO

Work relationships when they go bad fuck up you life every day because you can't go away. You think you understand this. Unless you've done it, you don't.

Strange morals chicks are fun to fuck around with, but you settle down with one and you're just setting the clock on when she's going to cheat. Unless you go full on swinger or be a crazy brave soul and have an open relationship, but even then you're just buying time. Those women usually have to be completely broken before they consider that maybe they shouldn't just fuck anyone.

There's woman crazy and there's batshit crazy. Like Fast cycling bipolar or  Schizo.  Most BP's I've known are colossally great fucks, but will make you want to blow your brains out when they shift.

Also, avoid dating sites. Unless you just want to see just how many broken and fucked up people you can find, In which case, Check out okcupid and have a ball.


Sorry, the voice of some experience there. That last one though is kind of a hobby of mine.  It's done wonders for my self esteem to see just how fucked up  a lot of people are.

Yes, this sounds mysogynistic, especially about those with mental illness, but  that's juggling blasting caps.


Edit:cleaned up some horrid typing.

Dating a manic depressive girl can be great fun when you both hit a manic phase at the same time. Then you break up when one of you cycles down. Then let the cycle repeat every few months!

I don't think there's anything that wrong with work relationships, unless you're the boss or she's the boss. Even then, it doesn't matter if it's a smaller type of business. Not a good idea in a larger setting.

I'm no longer friends with one of the people I work with.  We had a really good, close friendship for about 5 years prior to them getting promoted ahead of me.  When their ego took over and they made a comment to me about how I needed to stop offering corrections to their bad decisions in front of the field personnel because it made them look bad, I stopped being friends with them.  It continues to be awkward and unpleasant having to deal with them at all, particularly when I'm forced to on a regular basis.   I can't imagine the epic shitfest things would have turned into if there had been a relationship involved instead of a broken friendship.

I admit it's more complex than I say depending on how different workplaces are set up, but I haven't had anything crazy like that. Work can be a decent place to meet people.. it shouldn't entirely be ruled out. Too much paranoia about bosses and preferential treatment though...which is probably justified.

This forum needs (absolutely does not need) a 'What Are You Thinking?' thread.

P.S. Where can I find pictures of Signe?

Just fire up Left4Dead, she'll be one of the ones charging you from around that dark corner!

First time i tried that i became married shortly after.

I tried this once (low intelligence but nice).  Never again.



FUCKING FLEE

I thought "lives with her grandma" was too much. What came after was like "if that didn't stop you before."

Yeah, I've been using one of those over-the-shoulder bags for years.  I don't take it everywhere all the time, but it goes to work with me everyday.  It carries plenty of stuff, but doesn't feel as encumbering as a backpack does.

But the priest had a big smile on his face, amirite?  :awesome_for_real:

At least it isn't a convertible.

I keep hearing this but sure as shit don't have that problem. I continue to think you all are doing it wrong.

Not even after the first child is born?

I have 2 kids and have been married 10 years. Nope, no problem.

Nonononono.  No.

You're just out of a ten year relationship and you're already lining up the next ex Mrs. Slayerik? 

I've been a bachelor for the past ten years and I'm still not ready to give it up.  Just think of all the time you'll have to play EvE!


(And there's nothing gay about your adorable phone, except maybe the buttplug.)

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Find a woman that can accept you being 100% yourself 100% of the time.  If you can't find that woman, stay single. 

The longer I've been single the more I've enjoyed being single.  That security alone has kept me out of bad relationships.  I've dated a LOT the past 8 years but have only stayed with a couple of the women long enough to really involve them in my life.   

Know what you want.  Don't settle until you have it.  If you can't find it, stay single. 

No i was more griping about texting and tellin' ya all the women and problems I deal with trying to get some poonanny as a singe dude. I'm in no rush. Also, new one...Jessica, Jacqui's friend...21 long ass legs, great body. But she's kind of a bitch. I can deal with that for a while tho ;)

Send PM.

You shouldn't necessarily write off someone who has slept around.

 should, however, lower your expectations on someone who does.

I just think you're not all that "good" of a guy (or girl), if you see someone as a slut and ignore them for that. It's no different than the so called "bad guys" who see them as sluts too.. except they try to get theirs before ignoring them. While the person in question may have not been intentionally "slutting" it up - they just happen to be in situations where they thought they had something, but the relationships imploded.

First off, I didn't say I ignore her. I'll never consider dating her for that and many other reasons. Secondly, she did it intentionally with no intention of finding more. Not to mention, who the fuck do you know that finds feelings through the tip of a dick?

What was plural is now singular. Getting interesting  :awesome_for_real:

:grin:

Hey, I'm just talking about people who might have slept around, but then complain about their bad luck. Those aren't people who are necessarily sluts. A slut won't be complaining generally.

You now say this chick has "no intention of finding more", but yet, you talk about others above who "wonder why they can't find a good guy". These aren't really one and the same category of woman. So I'm confused now.

From the last few weeks, I am reminded of a line my uncle once said. "If they didn't have a pussy, there'd be a bounty on their heads."

I just say this cause my head hurts from young women these days. I am rusty. Back in the day I could deal with just about anything on the pathway to getting laid, nowadays I find myself quickly annoyed, bored, and not giving a fuck.

:oh_i_see:

Well played, sir.

Just wanted to say that I've been away for a week with the flu - and this was an outstanding thread to come back to.

I haven't been around much lately, either, but this thread is sure making up for that lost time.  I'm now seriously considering going out and purchasing my own homosexual texting device, as well as take advantage of some GM Employee Pricing.  You're living the dream, Slayerik.

I don't believe any of this.  I think you are all having millions of tiny little strokes.  You should all get off the computer and see a doctor.

But only after four hours, right?

Well played, sir.

This thread is glib.

So today I pussed out on talking to a gorgeous woman.

Here's a little more background on me, I work at a University Hospital doing Desktop support. Contrary to popular belief, some of us aren't like Nick Burns....your company's computer guy :)

So I grab a cafeteria pizza, find a table with a discarded newpaper, and have a seat. I notice a small pack of what looks to be med students to my left...they have some kinda lab coat thing going. A few good looking chicks. Nice spot choice I tell myself.

Just beyond them, at the table next to them is a Mila Kunis looking blue-eyed brunette sent straight from the heavens. She has books around her and seems to be studying and talkin with the lab coated ladies. I catch a look and do the instant 'look-away-like-a-giant-pussy' thing. I continue eating and eventually look back that way and bam! She is like staring at me. I make it about 3 seconds this time before the power that is this girl's baby blue eyes kick in and I go back to eating.

Here is where I always fuck up. I never approach (well, when I'm sober). I come up with some decent icebreaker line, but never make the move. 5 minutes later I kick myself in the ass and call myself all sorts of names. I know I have nothing to lose but my pride (which is overated anyway) but I still can't pull the trigger.

In my defense, this young woman was a knockout. She probably had a ring anyway, but fuck me for pussin' out. I have never been good at approaching random good looking strangers. Any tips? (besides 'Grow a pair') . EDIT: Looking for scoring advice on an intarweb forum is bad, m-kay! :)  But fuck it, killing time at work

Erm.. don't say that to them. Never goes well for me.

She's not random if she's already eyeing you. And if she is, and you're sure of it, just walk over and say "Hi", I guess? Just try to relax and laugh at yourself. And if this sounds illogical, then don't do it. You'll just fuck up. :grin:

And every guy feels that way sometimes... But if you know you're on, just do it.

Just don't fucking do it because you like her. Have at least some sign from her.

My advice: Be the kind of man women want to approach. 

Be interesting and a little mysterious.  Woman like to have to work a little to keep your interest.  Show that you're too eager and they start to wander off.  I've found that I've had much better relationships when a) the woman has approached me or b) we've met in the middle.  When I am the one approaching a woman, it's usually more hormonal than a mutual interest thing. 

I should write a Cosmo column!

Practice.  Just do it, comes natural after a few tries.  FYI - you will probably make mistakes, like anything else in life.

I hear what you guys are saying. 90% of the women I have dated I have known through school, other friends, or work. I work well when I have that non-stranger thing going :)

Even though there is no real shortage of women available around me, there are so many beautiful and intelligent women here that I should really start working on branching out. Just met a Physician's assistant today that was just flat out cute as hell and very nice. But I directly support her, so it's quite easy to charm that whole room full of ladies. There is a comfort level there. I mean, I planted a seed today...we'll see if over the next week or two it grows.

I just suck with women I don't know unless I have at least 6 beers in me I think. Been my crutch for a long time. Too damn long.

Approaching ladies is like suicide ganking, most of the time nothing good drops, but once in a while you hit the motherload.  The more no's that you hear, the more yes's you hear.  Try to remind yourself that worst case scenario, they say no, and you're in the same place you are without asking.

It's nothing but "hormones" in contexts like Slayerik is talking about. If a girl is eyeing you, it's because she's attracted.. but they tend to be pretty passive in showing it. It's up to guys to see it or not. There's nothing eager about picking up on it, and introducing yourself. Eager is for twats who bug girls they already know, who don't like them. And the rare times when I've had strangers come and talk to me, it had nothing to do with me being mysterious and interesting. It was the same thing as above. Just attraction. They just happened to be more aggressive about it.

Can you give examples where someone propositioned you with a date -- where they didn't get to know you first? I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but most of the time, women ask for dates to people they've met already. That's where the "interesting" comes into play. Where they've had a chance to even see you're interesting or not. I'm curious how this works out with strangers. How you can project "mysteriousness" to some girl in a cafeteria, and have her come up to you.

Stray, I was just writing up a question like.....how do you make yourself look Mysterious....you read my mind. So, I googled the answer!!!

(http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/uploaded_images/DBMystery-756377.jpg)

Hehe. I ain't doubting being pretty passive/"mysterious" though, when it comes to women you might see often. So I do agree partly with Nebu.. don't want to sound like I'm hating or anything. But with strangers, there's a chance you won't be seeing them again -- and as long as you know there's something to be gained from striking something up, then why not. Take a chance, if you feel good about it. The bad mistake with picking up strangers is guys don't give a fuck whether there's a sign or not. That's where all of the "No" answers come from. And the real skill (I'm gonna give props to my old man for this) is seeing signs first - the skill is really not in the approach. It's in whether you have eyes to see where to approach.

God, I sound like a pua jackass.  :roll: Don't mean to do that either.

To ask the obvious question that hasn't been asked, why would you assume she was looking at you or wanted you to come talk to her?  She may have been engrossed in a conversation listening to someone else at the table or just been spacing out.  I mean, you are at work at lunch, not in a bar or at a singles night.  I always assume no one else wants to talk to me unless they come up to me first, so I don't believe anyone else would ever sit at a table and think "I wish that person sitting there would come over and talk to me..."

But maybe that's just me.

You have never got the 'eye' from a woman before?

It can happen at any place, at any time. If she spaced out and wandered to me multiple times, there musta been something she liked :P

I've had the same success outside bars as I've had in them. There isn't a difference really. A woman could give you the same look as some girl in a bar, even in a video store, even going against all reason, like, say, if her husband and kids are in the vicinity... and if I see it, I'll turn away and fucking laugh to myself.. and then go back and corner them. Heh. People are dying to talk to you man, you just gotta recognize it  :grin:

Geez, Slayerik, she was probably looking you over because you seemed suitable for some medical experiment she was conducting.  That would be my first guess, anyway.  I mean, why else would she be staring at you?

Or she was trying to work out if you'd fit in her fridge.

Ya damn cynics   :why_so_serious:

There are other factors, plus kids. Cognitively, I understand.

Such understanding doesn't filter out to other parts.

Then she musta been a Urology specialist deciding how many hours she wanted me to keep an erection.  :thumbs_up:

(http://thechaly.files.wordpress.com/2007/05/jumptheshark.jpg)

I never got the "Superstud" locker-room behavior.  If the revelations are true, it's incredibly classless and disrespectful.  If it's a front, it's classless, incredibly disrespectful, and *pathetic*.

Truth is, looking back over my life I see I missed more opportunities to get laid than I got to enjoy, because I'm simply not very good at picking up signals of interest in real time.  And I still probably had more sex with more partners than the *real* grand total of the rest of the thread.  I'm neither proud of that, nor ashamed, each and every case is simply a part of my life, an incredibly *private* part I have no desire to discuss with anyone.

Slayerik: Be interested and interesting, and be paying fucking *attention* when they're trying to steer you towards a kiss or a bedroom, rather than concentrating so heavily on your own seduction plan you miss it.  Everything else is just window dressing.

--Dave

Of course man, you're like a high rollin game developer right?

I actually got laid very little while being a (single) game designer.  Mostly because of being too far into my own headspace to notice aforementioned signals.

--Dave

Make sense, I guess. :)


I don't see much locker room talk going on here though. Slayerik just seems to be amusing himself...

actually, I'll just let him speak for himself. Heh.

If I'm coming off that way (because I did use one humorous anecdote), then I don't care to. It's merely to say that someone will send you a signal anywhere, even in un-ideal places. I don't make a habit of following up on this stuff all the time (like married women), but the idea of just seeing if I can even make it an option is amusing. :why_so_serious:

At the parties during the last AGDC, the college girls kept sneaking into the ones with open bars (I say "sneak", but really doormen trying to correct a horrendous gender ratio let them in quite freely).  It was amusing watching them realize what an alien environment they had stumbled into: Here they were, surrounded by lots of 20-something guys well into their cups, the hottest girls in the joint, and nobody was hitting on them.  I heard one girl asking if she had somehow stumbled into a gay bar.

Of course, compared to the E3 party hostessed by models/strippers/porn actresses (this was during the temporary shutdown of the porn business because of an AIDS scare), where the girls were actually reduced to dancing with each other....

Game developers are a strange breed.  It's amazing we manage to reproduce.

--Dave

It's very strange to be reading such things penned by a man with a penis monster avatar.

Well I assume a lot of software developers (especially in games) come from the 'geek' or 'nerd' subcultures (high school?). Not exactly the popular kind of people especially with women. The problem is that if you are used to people ignoring you or that they'd rather die than be seen with you, you lose a lot of opportunities to develop the tools necessary to pick up on other people's emotions and intentions, you also get very used to the idea that most (if not all) people aren't very interested in you.

At least that's my problem. If a hot girl came into a bar or sat next to me at the cafeteria I'd never make a move because she obviously wouldn't be interested in me anyway and even if she was I'd probably not pick up on it either because I'm terrible at reading other people. Well I am a very different person today than I was in high school but old habits die hard.

I can only guess but I assume that a lot of people at these parties think in exactly the same way. Hot girl = not interested in me anyway.

Small story: Yesterday I was at my favourite italian restaurant to grab a bite to eat after work. At the table next to me sat a couple on a date and the guy was talking about the evolution of multi-user applications from the mainframe era to Web 2.0 and the internet. I have never in my life seen a woman that looked that bored and yet he was totally oblivious to the fact that she was.

No.  I assume it is something that exists only in the minds of men and bad TV.  I don't believe in such things honestly.

What? The world would literally fall apart if this wasn't true. Be it men and women, gays, lesbians.. Most people kickoff things from a distance be it with some furtive glance, or nervous smile, multiple times.. something. Maybe you have some ultra-corny-"fuck me"- glance in mind, like Christie Brinkley in National Lampoon's. but that's not what anyone's talking about -- although, that's not outside the realm of reality either. Hell, few things are outside the realm of reality, but especially not this.. I literally feel retarded for even contesting you about it. That's how real it is.



Sounds like an episode of "Blind Date".

The eye, it works.  Both ways, in fact.  You need to be looking for it because it is subtle, but that's the point.  Me, I'm pretty oblivious even today, but that sort of situation just needs more obvious eyeing.

Not only is there "the eye", there is also "the stare", which is much rarer.

Not to sound like a prick, but odds are good that you never got either because you're ugly.

There was a study that just came out that indicated women have better orgasms the more money their partners make.  This seems to be the thread to mention it in... so good luck Slayerik!

I can't get a link at work, so if someone else would be so kind as to provide it in this thread that'd be great.

I'm pretty sure you sound like a prick there.  :grin:


I don't think it's always a good explanation though.. I have this crazy near albino obnoxious Irish friend of mine, who, not to sound egotistic, didn't luck out on half of the things I might have working in my favor, yet who has more luck with "rounding" up women than I ever have. Maybe because he's a fun guy, and looks like it.

Probably he can do "the eye", possibly while sober.

Was that Dave talking smack about getting laid?  This thread delivers!

Well, it got me thinking that he has some good tangible/apparent qualities.. And that in itself is good enough. Sometimes it's looks, sometimes it's just being a fun and crazy Irishman, sometimes it's fitting some other mold (like if you're a cool looking biker dude, then you'll probably get the looks of women who dig that). If you look invisible though (or worse yet, mean), you'll probably be treated as such.

Courage is a great quality.  A successful performance of "the eye" requires it.  I also find that I can substitute "don't give a fuck" for "courage" and get near-identical results. :awesome_for_real:

I've never practiced the "eye" myself, except in response. What the hell is the male "eye"? Something like this?  :why_so_serious:

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v231/lonestar627/628148_TB_177.jpg)

Or this?

(http://graysmatter.codivation.com/content/binary/zoolander_face.jpg)

The only time I've picked up on "the Eye" in recent memory was this cute girl I passed on campus while going to meet a friend so I could escort her to a panel we were doing.  (Besides being oblivious and the "no one will be interested in me anyways" habit Jeff Kelly mentioned, there's not exactly a huge number of women scoping out other women.  Why waste the effort looking, right?  I dismissed it as wishful thinking.)  It turns out this girl was in the class we were giving the panel to.  And said something suitably embarrasing when I made a quip in the "OMG I'm going to die now, but they will remember me forever" manner.

We volunteer together now.  And I got a new friend out of it.  So, uh, yay for "the EyE"?

I'm not sure what the point of this is.  Maybe to say that "the eYe" does exist.  Or bi-directional lesbian gaydar.  Or to give my anecdote so as to feel like part of the crowd.

I usually go with:
(http://moonbeammcqueen.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/hackett55.jpg)

Hell, I don't know, I just know that sometimes I can get the look going and she notices.  I cannot tell you how I do it, although I suspect "badly" is the norm.  Usually I don't notice getting it because I'm just oblivious.  I believe "the eye" works very much like "Wanna fuck?" in that it's chancey and execution is paramount.  I don't follow through, however, so my anecdotes mostly end here.

There's a scene in Ocean's Thirteen, when Brad is flirting with Catherine, that shows it quite well.

He's Irish, so I'm sure the latter is non-issue.

For real, this guy regularly makes Wednesday night a Whiskey night. :uhrr:

Text sucks Part II

Jacqui, the dumb but hot one, texts me as I am getting outta work.

"I really wanna see you tonight"

I'm like GREEN LIGHT WOOOT...so I try not to sound too excited and tell I got a few things to do after work and I'll get over there after that. I enter the town I stay at, and get another text

"come on hurry up"

Now any guy at this point is thinking what? Wow this chick is horny and wants it.

I arrive at her apartment, to my shock there is her best friend and her gay roommate. I find out later that the urgency was cause she wanted me to meet her gay roommate before he left. So, I figure ride the storm out, the friend will bounce, and shit will be ON. Her friend is fuckin' glued to the couch. So I decide to help Jacqui out with some video editing, maybe that will earn points or some shit for later. Time passes, I eventually get her over to her room for some 1 on 1 time.

She says to me that she respects the sanctity of marriage. Her parents were divorced and got back together so she wanted to give us the chance or some shit until it was official. I'm like WTF. Its liek law that 6 months passes before its official in MI. Though she admitted being attracted to me, and was being very touchy feelly...that was it. No amount of sweet talking got me anywhere. I have never fled so mislead in my fuckin' life.

She blames it on text not having inflection or some shit like that. Fuck that, I'd say I'm over it but she lives so close that I might deal with more bullshit so I could hook up something. I'm thinking this could be her 'anti-slut' defense and she gives it up next time, but honestly after last night.........fuck.

Cut your losses, flog the pope, hit the bar.

(http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j212/krisperton/jj%20page/haha_simpsons.jpg)

I concur.

Anti-slut defense? How about just stop talking to women like this, if you want sluts?

I fear the rest of your life will be wrought with disappointment if this is the pinnacle of that emotion thus far.

Also, is there a reason she wanted you to meet the gay roommate?  That might be your problem, buckeroo.  Next time, lift something heavy around her and flex your arms or something.  Kick a poodle. 

I was counting down till the "you are gay remark " :P

It was on Page 1.

You were used.. you don't know what for, but you were.  Expect to get that a lot with girls barely out of their teens hitting on divorcees.  Stay the fuck away from anything less than 24 unless you're looking for head games and angsty post-teen bullshit.  It was true 30 years ago, it was true 20 years ago and it'll be true 10 years from now; young girls aren't worth the work.

If it were me I'd be going after single mom divorcees.  They'll be more mature and while some of them are looking for a new dad for their kid you'll spot them easily enough - just like you'll learn to spot th 20 somethings who want to latch on as trophy wives.  Plus, most guys try to stay the hell away from any women with a kid; doubly so for divorcees -  meaning there's a bigger pool with no competition.   Anywho, you're damaged goods yourself, so you know the scratch & dent section isn't filled with only cast-off junk.

Stray: No, the first one is "I'd beat the shit out of you if it wouldn't ruin my manicure."  the second is "Woah, doc, is that your finger or your fist?"

Wait.. What are you responding to me about again?  :grin:

Your pics on the last page asking if they were the male version of "The eye"

Or maybe I just didn't spend any of my time and picking up women (or at least trying to), so I never bothered to learn any of this finesse all you Casanovas are letting me in on.

As far as ugly, I am sure everyone else here is too.

Meh, no one's trying to be a Casanova. Just talking about standard unspoken signals people give off. Each species has them, I guess?


I'm only ugly to racists.  :why_so_serious:

Fooling everyone there, mate  :oh_i_see:

Don't be mad because your face is the punishment of an unjust god, just blame your parents.

Everyone is beautiful in their own way.

Pink haired, rotting zombies included.

I used to think so but then I realized that no, they really aren't.  Some people sure are, the rest of us are just ugly and have to get by on something else.

I had, until now, assumed you had not yet shown her The Phone.  That would explain a lot about the "hey, here's my gay pal".  Wrap some electrical tape on that shit before your next trip to the community college quad.

I am fairly partial to the older and more cynical women.  We have much to talk about.

Well man, there's no universal ugly like there's no universal beauty. Some people are more broad and/or openminded than others, some people do stand out a bit, but beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder. Some people will consider a person attractive while that same person is considered unattractive by others -- and then what's considered attractive by the second group might get disagreement from the first. So in the end, it doesn't even fucking matter. Some people have even the most peculiar tastes. For example, a girl a friend introduced me to awhile back - she was kind of just trying to get out for the night or something, and the minute i met her, she started getting on my ass, like i was a child. Telling me to stop smoking, trying to be all morose for the most part. Basically, not impressed. Fair enough too! I was cool with her, kept a smile on my face, bought her drinks.. blah blah. By the end of the night, she did start getting frisky and i did keep in touch with her afterwards, but... (fuck i'm making this long), she had this boyfriend, an old guy (eventually saw a pic of him, he looked like a stubby grey haired chipmunk), and this dude pressed all of her buttons. For whatever reason, he was her type. I was still friends with her though, and then recently, she broke up with the dude. I was bored one night, tried to see if she wanted to go out again, and she was all hesitant. A couple of weeks later she hooks up with yet another old dude, except he was a bit like Santa Claus, with a trucker hat. And believe me, she's pretty cute. She can pull off a supergirl outfit at least. And there's some burly Santa looking dude shacked up with her. Heh. I don't even want to try figuring that out, but obviously, she's into old men. While she treated a young guy like me like she was my mom or some shit at the very instance we met.

Yay anecdotes. Sorry if that was too long. :grin:

Oh, and I'm not complaining one bit. Anyone who tries to "counsel" on me this is gonna get punched in the dick  :why_so_serious:

I'm with the "cut your losses" crowd.  She's either playing with your head, or has no idea what she wants and thinks she's a character in a romance novel.  Life's too short, let her fuck with somebody else's hormones while she figures it out.

--Dave

...and since you are about to cut her loose anyway, now is the time for you to pull out the "wanna fuck?" line.  If she hesitates, then you turn it into, "either we're gonna fuck now, or I'm outta here."  I mean, what could you possibly lose at this point? 

Yeah, I mean, let's not act like I'm trying to dive back into a long relationship or something. I'm lookin' for a girl that wants to go out once in a while, have fun, and have more fun later. If that turns into a relationship so bad it....So far Danielle is the only one panning out in that front. But battin' .333 is like all star level :P

And to the earlier stuff, I'd say I'm a pretty good lookin' guy, even if I'm not I carry myself that way anyway.

Of course you are good looking. 

In your own way. 

Let's see what your batting average drops to when you start telling girls you're obsessed with a 10 year old videogame made by a larper that wears stupid outfits and pays real dollars to go into space after blowing millions on a game where he's a general.

Seriously, guys, really, the 4 people participating in this charade, I really don't think anyone cares. Livejournal that shit. Or do it in private.

This is serious business man.

Anyway, I was entertained. Den the shit if ya want.

For the record I haven't said shit about UO in a long time, pretty much everyone knows my stance, why the fuck would some chick care or would I tell her? Do you even interact with women? You don't talk about shit like your new epix and ganking noobs with them.

I think this subject has a lot more entertainment potential than any other, but it doesn't really work around here for some reason. Even if you're self-effacing, you're being live journal casanova or some shit. Just quit while you're ahead.  :-)

Yeah, fuck it.

Agreed.

But now where am I going to go to to learn how awesome everyone else is at picking up chicks? :grin:

And then there are those of us who are rather enjoying living vicariously through Slayerik.  You can't just abandon us now!

Learn how to play the harmonica.  If this guy can get laid, anyone can.

(http://www.julianrubinstein.com/images/popper4.gif)

What about the musically inept, then?  They're doomed. :sad:

Learn Rex-qwon-do.

Musicianship is overrated. As are martial arts. In fact, I distinctly recall a chick rolling her eyes at my harmonica playing once. Heh


Rex-Qwan-Do though.. Probably in a class of it's own.

Someone appears to have stuck a katana into his groin, so I don't think he'll be getting laid anymore.

Musicianship might be over-rated but being in a band isn't - the two don't really have much to do with each other sometimes.  I have seen the most repugnant people collect copious amounts of groupies just because they're in a band.  Seriously.  There was NO other reason.  None at all. Some of them didn't even have a teeny bit of talent.  It's completely strange.  If you're in a band and you actually play at any sort of public place, whether it's a stadium, creepy bar, subway, street - ANYWHERE - and you can't get laid, you just have terrible dumb luck or you're not paying attention.  I'm not a huge fan of sex so not having musical talent and not being in a band has always worked to my advantage.

Yeah, you're probably right. The only bands I've been in were crap filling temporary roles in crap death metal bands. Technically, at least. I don't have much band experience.

Strumming around after sex seems to be OK though. Just not before. :grin:

Freudian slip?  :grin:

We in Eve know how Slay works.  If he was going to PK for a phone he'd have waited outside a busy door for four or five hours, surreptitously rummaging through the possessions of everyone that approached until he found one with a very expensive phone.  Then he'd have quickly picked up a hammer in each hand, put on steel-toed boots, let loose five somewhat unpredictable pit buills and donned a hat with a massive spike in the middle of the forehead before attacking in a flurry, trying to kill them inside seven seconds.

Then he would have discovered that he crushed the phone with his hammer-flurry.

What the fuck?

neg

It's funny though, even I haven't gone that far. :grin:

Yeah, but you were in a band!  Unfair advantage.  Go to your room.

With a groupie!  :drillf:

I'd have to chime in and say I'm probably an outlier you'd want to discard, too.  Although the band-of-death period of my life was a bit of a dry patch, surprisingly.

Ok, even being done in this thread I had to post... this cracked me up.

Then the bouncers would say....Now go sit in the corner for 15 minutes and round up your dogs and weapons. If this happens 12 more times we're not gonna let you hang out around here no more! We'll call the cops as soon as we see you!

How soon til we start comparing penis lengths? We'll need pictures to prove it, of course. :awesome_for_real: :grin:

I can totally provide that. Inches or centimeters?

Metric - it sounds bigger.  :awesome_for_real:

Fuck, this thread was awesome and entertaining. Don't kill it.

I'm all for there being a guy thread to match the T&A one for equality, however I don't think posting members' members is the best route to that.

There's like 5 female posters here, and 2 are into women as it is. I say the equality is fine at the moment.

Let me nip this whole laugh-in real fast.

No.

You said nip!   :rofl:

When I was at uni, the Irish drinking club (the "Friends of the Pooka McPhellamy" Society) organised a sumo wrestling competition against the extremely polite, naive and unsuspecting Japanese Society, and advertised it with posters declaring "There'll be a nip in the air tonight."

Erm, does that need translation from the British colloquial weather-based phrase?

It's used in American English too. As in "it's a bit nippy out today".

So then.  We need a T&A forum where we can have a thread to highlight particular features, like say, nipples?

I, for one, would definitely frequent said nipple thread. 

I would also post plenty of chest/nipple pics.  Man nipples, of course, but it's all good, right?

"I've got nipples.  Can you milk me, Greg?"

Knock yourself out.  In the spirit of fairness, you're owed a thread devoted to hairy man nipples. 

On the other hand, we live in a Democracy, and the single overriding principle of Democracy is "screw the minority".

Unfortunately for you, Signe, this means that we are all going to post picture of our own manly nipples.  Careful what you ask for, and stuff.

I want to see your nipples!

Must. resist. urge. to. answer.

Philosophically an equally important principle of democracy is protecting minorities from being marginalized by the rule of the majority. We could do a whole thread arguing about that however. Democracy without protection is just Ochlocracy (Mob Rule).

Have 2 threads, Nipples (male) and Nipples (female), than everyone is happy.

Come on, you men!  Let's see you get YOUR tits out for a change!

Perv.  :roll: :wink:

 :ye_gods:

SEPARATE BUT EQUAL!!!!

I don't see why we can't have all our nipples in the same thread.   It doesn't make me uncomfortable.

u first

I'm waiting for Admin to tell us whether or not we can mix our nipples.  I wouldn't want to break a rule, you see.

Rules are meant to be broken.

I note that there's no restriction on species!  :awesome_for_real:

Oh, dear God.

I cut the avatar off before I got that low! ;D

How about mannequin nipples?

Ha.  Now I'm jealous of a piece of plastic.  :-P

Hey, you too can have plastic boobs if you really want them.

No thanks.  Plastic isn't as nice as the real thing. :drillf:

Boob5 says otherwise (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXFIzdCvEpg)

Warning: If really really fake boobs are NSFW, this is.

So you're saying you play with your own?  That's hot.

...

no comment

...

I'll be in my bunk.

 :ye_gods:  :ye_gods:  :ye_gods:

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH JAPANESE PEOPLE?

 :awesome_for_real: :awesome_for_real: :awesome_for_real:

HOORAY JAPAN!