f13.net

New Jersey Freakshows (http://www.barstoolsports.com/article/new_jersey_freakshows/1958/)

Seems i need to get me a can of spray on tan, and some kissy lips to get the hotties.
lol

(http://barstoolsports.com/_images/articles/2008/01/21/pic09487.jpg)

(http://barstoolsports.com/_images/articles/2008/01/21/pic26052.jpg)

(http://barstoolsports.com/_images/articles/2008/01/21/pic27065.jpg)

Oompa loompa doopadee doo.

Are those hotties?  I'd argue that the spray tan and kissy lips didn't work.  And even if it did, it's only good until the cancer kicks in.

Those pictures are ooooooooooooooooooooooooold.

Also, blue steel, douchebags, etc. etc.

Edit: Also, Jersey is like 99% trash. But everyone knows that.

Was new to me.

The umpa lumpa comment was worth it.

(http://www.jluix.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/umpa.jpg)

You are missing out. http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/ is full of these assholes.

lol, firewall blocks it, but i can only imagine.

Remember when Joe Piscopo went all super tan and muscle-y?  He's from New Jersey, isn't he?  I think it's a New Jersey thing.  There are plenty around like that in Philadelphia, too, but it might be the proximity to New Jersey, no?

You wrote Joe Piscopo, and I instantly thought Joe Pesci for some reason.  It was a real struggle to envision the muscles and spray tan.

nm

WTF? How why what unhh  :uhrr:

OK I'll start again. Why would anyone actually LEAVE THE HOUSE after doing that to their face? At what point did they start to believe that bright orange was a good skin colour to aim for?! And to do it so badly too... I mean look at that guy douchebag in the middle. Not even any *attempt* to do the forehead or the ears or the neck.

I worry about humanity sometimes, really I do.

To be fair, none of them seem to be very happy in that picture, though the girl on the right does appear to be deliberately leaning into the frame.  Why would she do that?  A piece of internet immortality?

Maybe she's leaning in towards the radioactive orange glows for warmth?

I refuse to accept that those guys were done up like that seriously. I know there are people who go for the bad fake tan and spike their hair but I refuse to believe those guys looked in the mirror before they left and did anything but laugh about how hilariously awful they look. I like to think their faces reflect how actually hilarious the choice turned out to be. I refuse to believe that their expressions are the result of someone pointing, laughing and then taking a picture as these guys realise that people think they look ridiculous.

The facial expressions are failed attempts at the "doucheface".  Reference the source site for "doucheface".

Truth, sir. I wish death on most of the people who reside in this state.

On a daily basis.




Philadelphia....you're not helping much, either.

Heh, the guy in the middle pick was awarded the Irving Thallbag Lifetime Achievement Douchie for 2007.

Thanks for that link Way.

They are spray-tanning douchebags from Jersey. What does humanity have to do with it?

I hereby dub thee, Douchebad. What say you.

(pause for effect)
(http://i241.photobucket.com/albums/ff26/stuabrtow/douchebad.jpg)

I here swear fealty and do homage to the Armpit that is Jersey;

to ever be a self-indulgent douchebag and true,

vapid and vain,

shield of Neutrogena® MicroMist™,

obedient only to my liege-lord, Grieco,

foremost in foppery and baboonery,

scrote at all times,

champion of the ill-bred and the electric blue lights.


Thus swear I, Douchebad.

Fuckin A.

What's with guys using the girly kissy face nowadays?

Fuck, I hate this state...


FUCK

So...

Jersey is, essentially...The modern-day French Monarchy, Stu?  :ye_gods: Jesus...

It's not my oath. It's Douchebad's. Ask him.

I can't tear my eyes away from his freakish claw-hand. I know it's the perspective, but damn...

Also, why is he wearing lipstick?

It's the new thing; makeup on men.  Manscara and Hipbalm and manliner.   There's also hose/ leggings being marketed towards men again.  Yes, it is in fact 17th Centrury fashion all over again.

Just heard about a site where you can find local idiots of this flavor. Dirty.com.  They just launched in "50 more markets!" which apparently includes Cincy as that's why they were on my radio. 

We clearly need a resurgence of the dandy, where is the modern day Beau Brummel? At least then the fashion conscious wouldn't also look utterly ridiculous.

Apologies for taking this to the lowest common denominator but these guys are homosexual right?

See I actually think that could be construed as homophobic.

(http://i241.photobucket.com/albums/ff26/stuabrtow/douchebad.jpg)

Are you coming on to me? :awesome_for_real:

I don't know if they are homosexuals or not, but they are definitely GAY in at least one sense of the word.

I didn't want to be the one to point out that the last guy is wearing a rainbow wristband.  The type we throw out at our local pride parade...

That doesn't mean they all are though.  Some of them appeared to have girlfriends.

Looks green and orange stripped to me.

In Jersey, even the gay guys have no style.

It looks like some of the ones they were tossing out.  They only had like four colors.  I'd have to dig mine up from gods know where to see how close it matches that one.

Four colors doesn't sound like much of a rainbow.

Four color is to rainbow
as "kissed a girl while drunk" is to lesbian

All the ones that I've seen mocked on the 'net seem to either have girlfriends or hang out with one or two. Maybe some of them are gay but I think it's far more they're just idiots of the first order. Also those coloured wristband things have at least 2 or 3 different causes for every colour, the fact that it matches one thrown out at pride marches really doesn't mean he's homosexual.

As has been said, gay: yes. Homosexual: I like to think not nearly stylish enough (because I like my stereotypes thank you very much. The gays are a clean people and clearly would never cover themselves in that... stuff.)

Your taking this way to seriously.

(http://www.clisham.com-a.googlepages.com/398398070_0753f6fb78.jpg)

I am trying to avoid doing work here!

lol, sorry carry on.

Sounds like Barsexuals (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Barsexual), I'm not sure if metrosexual (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Metrosexual) fulfils the full male counterpart to those though.

(http://img171.imageshack.us/img171/1976/joisygx8.jpg) (http://imageshack.us)

 :uhrr: :awesome_for_real:

Not to defend the guy, cause it's very likely there's SOMETHING wrong with him, but the wristband could be an italy or portugal thing.

The kids around here like to wear all kinds of stupid wristbands.

Also he's not gay...just retarded, Jersey-style.

My general hate for the people of this area cannot be quantified in mere words.

[edit] OK, nevermind.  :oh_i_see:

(http://i180.photobucket.com/albums/x310/The_Ultimate_Wrestling_Gallery/Hulk%20Hogan/HulkHogan018.jpg)

I am not a violent guy nor like violence, but I really wanna swing my fists in the face of these motherfuckers. Even punch em in the dick, if they have one.

Beat me to it, this site is filled with D-Bags and pretty fuckin good commentary by the site owner, Douchebag1 ... been burning work time there for a couple years now.

I don't see any of these kids in my area in Jersey (New Brunswick and north) but they're all over South Jersey down on the shore.  Most of them are from Staten Island.