f13.net

So I picked this game up as it was extraordinarily cheap. This was no coincidence, and was in fact a portent of the quality of the game.

I enjoy a simple beat-em-up. I like the God of War series. I thoroughly enjoyed most of Conan on the 360 until it got stupidly hard.  I enjoy a spot of Dynasty/Samurai/Whatever Warriors. I even found Ninety-Nine Nights playable for a week or two.

So in that sense, I was prepared to give Beowulf a go. I mean, I spent more on dinner last night than on this game. So it’s not like it was a full-priced bad choice.

So anyway.

It looks decent in spots, though at the same time it also looks so very unpolished. There are some nice water effects. Actually, there are some really poor water effects as well. The controls are poor in pretty much every way. They just feel unresponsive. Moving, running, climbing, fighting. All poor.

Speaking of fighting, combat is awful. A mix of unresponsive combat and God of War-styled giant-monster-boss-fights. Except, again, awful. I'd hoped this aspect would at least be a bit of a redeeming mindless fun. That's all I'd dared to hope for out of the whole purchase, but you know, FAIL.

So anyway. This game is shit. Avoid it like the plague. I'd write more, but this game doesn't deserve any more words.
I’m glad EB Games has a fair return policy. This goes back.

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Avoid.

I'm sure this review comes as a great surprise to readers.  :awesome_for_real:

It was one of those games where you expect very little, but don't even get that.

 :uhrr:

well add Transformers to that list.
Iron man was pretty pathetic too, but at least there's some semblance of gameplay variety. Incredibly Bad Hulk was a trainwreck over at Gamespot review.

How can these guys fail so bad, I don't understand.