f13.net

Only 1 question:

I need suggestions for contests. Can you give me some? If you think it's ultra cool just send me a PM and we'll spring it on the unknowing public. I've got some tough ones in mind, but I'd like to start off a little easier for everyone...and the children.

Since we all profess to hate the stupid in MMOG's, yet we all seem to be playing them, how about we track down and submit a picture of the most 'teh stupid' in game.  I.e. either a character, conversation, or game mechanic...

Second Fargull's notion.

Continuing with the notion of MMOG's are the suck, best pictorical/movie evidence of destruction of most despised MMOG box/cd or both.

(Really only cause I want to see someone go to the trouble of blowing up their EQ box and filming it..)

If you are really inventive it'd be interesting to have a questionnaire like the following:

Select the game that best fits the scenarios described..

 You search/run for miles and miles and miles to reach your bounty target only to find the bounty is white and unattackable.
   [ ] EverQuest
   [ ] StarWars Galaxies
   [ ] Anarchy Online
   [ ] EVE Online

 After killing untold numbers of pirates and looting them you find that your spiffy named loot can't even be sold on the market.
   [ ] EverQuest
   [ ] Anarchy Online
   [ ] StarWars Galaxies
   [ ] EVE Online


Whoever gets the most right wins!

How about a contest of the best picture of someone beating up a LARPer? We can call it, "GOING MEDIEVAL ON YOUR ASS, F13 STYLE."

Winners can homemade Kilts from Haemish to wear in pride.

Come up with the word o' the week, like, let's say, griefing.  Whoever first says aforementioned word is banned for a week.

Best avatar?

Most intelligent lurker, get those 0 post boys to actually start talking.

Best poster impersonation, get to impersonate schild! (kkthxbye).

Easter egg, we could put something somewhere in the site, first person to see it wins a wheel of cheese.

A "Post Like SirBruce" day.  I'll be the judge on who most accurately captures my true character.  (Alternatively, a panel of three judges consisting of myself, schild, and a player to be named later.)

Bruce

Ohhhhh, it's creative time... Here's a couple I can think of.  

Great Moments in Catassing

Best screenshot of just how big of a catass you can be.  It can be an ingame snapshot or a shot of your habitat.  Stuff like dinging your 200th AA in EQ, your pyramid of Mountain Dew cans or your 5 monitor setup complete with IV drip machine.

Bonus points for actual cat butt and/or litter setup in the screenshot.

f13 Art class

Best f13 inspired art.  Preferribly something like "Scenes from the forum".  Have people do their best artist rendition of Haemish fighting Sir Bruce to the death or the newbie poster getting shelled at their intro post.

f13 takes on the issues

Put out one game design/mmorpg design or whatever issue and have people deliver a one line statement on it.  Best/most creative/stupidest responses get the prize.

Did Bruce really say it?

Get some quotes from the forums, solicit some.  The more ridiculous the better.  Mix in some fake yet believable sounding stuff. People have to guess if Bruce said it or it's a fabrication.

Too bad Mediocre or Bloodcat don't post here. They'd make excellent targets for this too.

Name that poster.

Series of quotes from one poster. People have to guess who it is.

Edit:  Another idea.

Haiku contest

Theme it on whatever you want.  F13 poster or mmoprg would work well.  


O Stupid build times
Lose, you are not coming back
Shadowbane, bad touch

On a serious note, I think one of the best ideas would be to have a reviewing contest. For example, throw out a game or movie that would would like to see reviewed, then have the commoners send in their best reviewing submissions. The winner would be posted on the front page or something and get a funny grief title.

Plus it would make them feel all special and whatnot.

I get to keep the winning entry. :)

I like the art one a lot. Also the photo of your habitat.

But I reaaaaaaaaaaaally like "Did Bruce Really Say that?"

That should be a fucking bumper sticker. On my scooter.

Edit: Reallllllllllllllllly is unpronouncable.

I'd have to say Rasix has some of the best ideas so far.

I'm trying to think of others so I sound at least moderately creative but for some reason the creative in me isn't responding today.

We could try...

Fan Fiction about your most/least favorite MMO:

The catch is, it's about the players, not the gameworld.

PvP vs PvE debate to end all debates:

One who comes out least bloody wins...

Design your own MMO:

On paper at least. Write up what you think would be the perfect MMO

How about "WWBD?" bracelets as prizes?

Because no one gives a shit about what Bruce would do. We're all still wondering what Brian Boitano would do.

I second avatars.

Mainly because I just spent 2 minutes watching Paelos's monkey dance to Action Radar.

And I'm uncreative.

Hrrrm.  Obscure movie quotes, obscure game quotes, name that perv?

LIGHTNING BOLT!

That was creative. You see, you just went and created a contest right there. Come up with the best song to watch Paelos' dancing monkey to.

Action Radar is an awesome track.

Holy FUCK that was funny.

MS Paint contest.  Gives those of us with less artistic talent more of a chance than an anything-goes art contest.   ;)

God Damn that monkey can keep a beat.

Save for thread relevance:  I don't feel like the competition should be anything more than what they award points for in Who's Line is it Anyways?

Thanks to the magic of Google, you have approximately 13 years of source material to choose from.

I'm afraid to click on that link.

Oh. My. God. No.

If I come up with the contest idea, can I still enter and win a surprise?  See, I have this idea which involved SirBruce, baby farm animals and a wood chipper... but I don't want to just watch.

Thoughts:
1. Best T-shirt design to reflect this board
2. Winger off - who can find the most disturbing piece. (I'm not gonna play or watch this one).
3. Get banned from WOW or EQII first. You're a loser - but you are the w!nn3r!

I second this.  Since most general chat channels are full of mindless drivel, capturing the essence of "teh stupid" in chat form might be fun.

My other idea would be "Worst avatar name found in a newly released mmog".  The character cannot be your own and must be someone encountered.  Maybe this will provide new inspiration for ridicule or even spawn a t-shirt.

Bonus points if you can stand next to them and take a screenshot of a zinger + reply from said moron.

Photoshop contest of fictional events from the MMO of your choice. The key being make the "screenshot" look as real as possible.

I only say this because I think I would win with my forged screen shots from UO (if I can still find them).

Plenty of source material here (http://www.google.com/search?q=Bruce%20Sterling%20Woodcock&hl=en&lr=&c2coff=1&sa=N&tab=gw), too.

Bruce

Man, I've got to search for my name on USENET more often.  Some crazy guy named Gary L. Burnore wrote:


At first I couldn't figure out what the fuck this guy was talking about.  Then I remembered some stupid USENET argument from 10 years ago where I was talking about how if a McDonald's employee got into a fistfight with some guy outside of work who happened to also be a McDonald's customer (and who isn't?), McDonald's shouldn't be involved.  And in fact that this has happened.  Somehow this guy translated this into thinking I got fired for doing it.  Crazy shit.

I implore those of you who argue with me now not to become like this loser, who still 10 years later is still carrying a personal grudge about some stupid USENET argument, while I don't even remember his name.  Please, please, don't become like this guy.  It's not healthy.

For the record, I worked happily at McDonald's twice and was never fired, quitting only when I got other jobs, and Netcom tried to fire me but I sued them for wrongful termination and we settled out of court, which technically means I wasn't fired and they were assholes for attempting it.  On the other hand, I was fired from Mile High Comics when it turned out that they only had one position for store manager open, but couldn't decide which of two candidates to hire, so they hired us both for one month of training telling us that we would both be co-managers only to later reveal that, in fact, they lied and were only going to keep one of us.  I got the short end of the stick for that because my co-manager could bag more comics per minute than I could and I once yelled at a co-worker for repeatedly putting stacks of comic books on the rack upside-down.

Bruce

PS - Apologies for making this thread more about me than it already was.

I think a worst work story contest would be pretty hilarious for all those involved. It could be anything from the crap you did to someone, or how you got canned, or what happened to you because you are a slackass.

Bonus points if you got canned/reprimanded for forum posting.

When I worked in a porn store my boss thought waterthread was some fetish site.

Wasn't it?

I figure it would fall under S&M if it were a sexual fetish. Something dark and hateful.

I just read some of the politics forum.  It made me remember why I don't often go there.  I'm beginning to think my wood chipper idea wasn't so silly now.

You could do something like the Pixel Challenge (http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?showtopic=3119844) over at Television Without Pity. Just a picture manipulation contest. You don't need to have great editing skills, sometimes great humor makes up for crappy Paint abilities.  For example if you were having an EQ2 contest, contestants would have to modify a EQ2 screenshot provided by you and make it funny. Or if you had a CoH contest, constestants could pick any image they wanted but would have to modify it to be heroic yet funny.

Good idea, as long as you autoban everyone who tries to make teh funny by adding a poorly drawn penis to every picture.

A poorly drawn one would be funny. A hyper realistic one would be funny. An actual penis from another picture would not be funny. They'd have to be worksafe.

In a similar vein to the photo manipulation, how about a picture captioning contest?  There have been a few threads for that, and they typically end up amusing.

Not as fun. Too easy.

Come up with a unique emote and describe it!  Great idea, no?  If he chooses this, my /emote entry is /Stinkfinger!  The winning entry should get an Alienware computer and the Zboard of their choice.  

And a car.

I prefer /dickslap

/cleavelandsteamer
/donkeypunch
/dirtysanchez

Had to go there, didntcha ookii?

Stop being dirty. All of you!

/zergrush

/lightningbolt

LIGHTNING BOLT! LIGHTNING BOLT!

/irrationalexuberance

Yatta for teh win. (http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/yatta.php)

So have I won the thinking up a contest contest?

I want to smoke.

By the look of your picture, you already have.

/notsmoking
/boohoo
/dieinanashtrayfire

/flyingmushroomslap

And the ever popular
/sirbruce

I'm not exactly sure what it'd do, but I think I'm better off like that.

/spontaneouslycombust
/login2crush
/partisanhack

http://members.cox.net/bashstuff/P1010014
http://members.cox.net/bashstuff/P1010015
http://members.cox.net/bashstuff/P1010018

I'd take that one step farther and do a Take One for the Team Contest.  Any time a suitably crap game comes out that nobody in their right mind here would ever have any intention of playing (the recently mentioned Hello Kitty MMO comes to mind for example), reward whoever can slog through enough hours in the game and write the best review of it.  In other words not just one line that says "this game is crap".

Oh, and /paradigmshift

Most Excellent

I think I still have my beta UO CD....

LOL.  Thats' good.

I guess that means we would have to drink before posting :P

Bruce, if we manage to capture your true character, are we allowed to gas it ?