f13.net

f13.net General Forums => Serious Business => Topic started by: bhodi on April 26, 2008, 07:26:37 PM



Title: Good news for the nerd virgins
Post by: bhodi on April 26, 2008, 07:26:37 PM
Hot chick offering sex wants you (http://dontstayvirgin.movielol.org/main2.php).

Just mash the "GET LAID" button and she shows up naked at your doorstep*!


*  applicants must be 18yrs old or above
* condom must be used, except if the applicant prefers to release his semen upon Tania's body without any oral or vaginal contact
* Anal sex is negotiable, although Tania will cease the performance immediately if any form of 'surprise buttsex' occurs
* multiple participants are not allowed, but applicants are entitled to have an audience observe the performance
* if anywhere along the process, it becomes clear that the applicant is not a virgin, Tania reserves the right to terminate all activity
* applicant must be able to provide sufficient evidence that clearly shows he has been defending net neutrality (eg. a print-out of a forum post, a link to a vlog)
* applicant agrees that in the event of the applicant infringing upon Terms of Service during the process of the act, Tania is not responsible for any genital injury that the applicant may suffer
* Tania may deny service for hygiene reasons


Title: Re: Good news for the nerd virgins
Post by: Righ on April 26, 2008, 09:02:47 PM
There are a lot more virgins on the Internet all of a sudden, aren't there?


Title: Re: Good news for the nerd virgins
Post by: Llava on April 27, 2008, 03:01:27 AM
 :ye_gods:


Title: Re: Good news for the nerd virgins
Post by: Murgos on April 27, 2008, 07:35:32 AM
 :awesome_for_real: :uhrr: :drill: :ye_gods: :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)


Title: Re: Good news for the nerd virgins
Post by: lac on April 28, 2008, 01:51:27 AM
In the last local election she offered to give bjobs to whoever voted for her...


Title: Re: Good news for the nerd virgins
Post by: MrHat on April 28, 2008, 04:39:14 AM
That's really a politician I can get behind.


Title: Re: Good news for the nerd virgins
Post by: IainC on April 28, 2008, 05:26:07 AM
That's really a politician I can get behind.
She'll stop the performance if you do...


Title: Re: Good news for the nerd virgins
Post by: NowhereMan on April 28, 2008, 05:30:53 AM
In fairness she's way hotter than my first chick. Maybe this was why Jesus wants us to save ourselves.


Title: Re: Good news for the nerd virgins
Post by: Lantyssa on April 28, 2008, 05:58:56 AM
Thank you dictionary.com for technicalities!  I'm totally giving her a call when I figure out that international dialing thing.


Title: Re: Good news for the nerd virgins
Post by: Bunk on April 28, 2008, 06:12:17 AM
But how will you use a condom?  :ye_gods:


Title: Re: Good news for the nerd virgins
Post by: Nebu on April 28, 2008, 06:14:20 AM
* Tania may deny service for hygiene reasons

This will limit the pool by at least 80%


Title: Re: Good news for the nerd virgins
Post by: lac on April 28, 2008, 09:18:24 AM
Tania Derveaux' election poster (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/c/cf/Tania_Derveaux_-_I_will_give_you_40%2C000_blowjobs.jpg/800px-Tania_Derveaux_-_I_will_give_you_40%2C000_blowjobs.jpg) for the Belgian Senate. (might be NSFW if you live in jesusland)



Title: Re: Good news for the nerd virgins
Post by: Phildo on April 28, 2008, 09:49:31 AM
"multiple participants are not allowed, but applicants are entitled to have an audience observe the performance"

Next F13 get-together!  Now to find a virgin!


Title: Re: Good news for the nerd virgins
Post by: Lantyssa on April 28, 2008, 11:01:20 AM
But how will you use a condom?  :ye_gods:
Creatively?


Title: Re: Good news for the nerd virgins
Post by: Morfiend on April 28, 2008, 11:56:25 AM
But how will you use a condom?  :ye_gods:
Creatively?

(http://www.mannpill.com/images/stories/content/images/shaolinmonk/rant/Aides-condom-kiss.jpg)


Title: Re: Good news for the nerd virgins
Post by: Mrbloodworth on April 28, 2008, 12:47:49 PM
I don't think this is the first time someone has done this...i recall something a long time ago like this.


Title: Re: Good news for the nerd virgins
Post by: Murgos on April 28, 2008, 12:53:58 PM
"multiple participants are not allowed, but applicants are entitled to have an audience observe the performance"

Oh, I can see that turning out well.  You take a guy who is already so self-conscious he hasn't figured out how to talk up a girl and then stick him naked in front of a bunch of his friends?

Can you say non-event?


Title: Re: Good news for the nerd virgins
Post by: Llava on April 28, 2008, 09:07:07 PM
Next F13 get-together!  Now to find a virgin!

Shit, we shouldn't have banned Hyu.


Title: Re: Good news for the nerd virgins
Post by: DarkSign on April 30, 2008, 06:43:24 AM
Quote
#  Tania will cease the performance immediately if any form of 'surprise buttsex' occurs

# applicant agrees that Tania is not responsible for any genital injury that occurs

surprise buttsex and genital injury? wow. that's a good time.

I must say though that this is one of the most important issues of our generation. If companies take hedgemonic control and sell the internet to the highest bidders, everyone will suffer and the rich will get richer.

I dare anyone to post they're not on this beautiful girl's side!


Title: Re: Good news for the nerd virgins
Post by: Llava on April 30, 2008, 07:51:14 AM
I agree on Net Neutrality, but I find her and her whole group extremely annoying.  They're the sort of group I want to like, but can't.


Title: Re: Good news for the nerd virgins
Post by: Righ on April 30, 2008, 11:52:07 AM
They're the sort of group I want to like, but can't.

Not being a virgin, you mean?


Title: Re: Good news for the nerd virgins
Post by: Llava on May 01, 2008, 03:18:50 PM
Well there's that, but mostly I meant that I understand their purpose but I find them, their website, their marketing, and everything about them in general to be extremely irritating.  I can't make it more than a few seconds into any of their videos, and that's saying quite a bit given that I know there will be at least one second of sexy girl in them.


Title: Re: Good news for the nerd virgins
Post by: Merusk on May 01, 2008, 03:29:56 PM
Nerds aren't photogenic and tech speak doesn't grab attention.  Thus why their drive to get the people behind them is doomed to failure.; Poor Marketing.  Wave goodbye to Net Neutrality, folks, because joe average doesn't know what you're talking about and won't give a fuck until he wonders why he can't load MySpace without being on the deluxe package.

BTW, I agree with your sentiment, Llava... although I can't even make it past the first 10 secs of any vid.


Title: Re: Good news for the nerd virgins
Post by: Righ on May 01, 2008, 07:46:18 PM
BTW, I agree with your sentiment, Llava... although I can't even make it past the first 10 secs of any vid.

You pesky kids stay off my Internet with your graphical web browser toys!


Title: Re: Good news for the nerd virgins
Post by: Lantyssa on May 01, 2008, 07:49:46 PM
Angry people don't provide enough alt tags for lynx?


Title: Re: Good news for the nerd virgins
Post by: Paelos on May 01, 2008, 08:13:59 PM
Angry people don't provide enough alt tags for lynx?

I don't understand this sentence.


Title: Re: Good news for the nerd virgins
Post by: Daeven on May 01, 2008, 10:18:16 PM
Angry people don't provide enough alt tags for lynx?

I don't understand this sentence.

GEEK FAIL


Title: Re: Good news for the nerd virgins
Post by: Murgos on May 02, 2008, 06:14:29 AM
Angry people don't provide enough alt tags for lynx?

I don't understand this sentence.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lynx_(web_browser)


Title: Re: Good news for the nerd virgins
Post by: Lantyssa on May 02, 2008, 07:53:02 AM
It could be my colloquial grammar:

(Are you) angry people do not provide enough alt tags for lynx?


Title: Re: Good news for the nerd virgins
Post by: Righ on May 02, 2008, 11:20:39 PM
Lynx has been obsolete forever. Most voguish text mavens use cURL or some offshoot of Links (which would be appropriate for Paelos and other golf lovers).