f13.net

Posting in the Den is no fun. No, really, it isn't.

I know Cheddar will back me in this thread. Daytime public drunkeness is the bee's pajamas. I need people to post their best and/or worst sunlit-drunk stories.

I wish I could properly type out mine, but I have to go take a piss right now.

I will add that my spine hurts from too much humping.

What the hell are you humping in public???   :uhrr:

Mailboxes, I imagine. That spinal trauma isn't from humping, but form the postmen smacking him so they can get at the mail.

I told you to stay out of Rasix's liquor cabinet while he is away!

Most of my recent daylight drunkenness has occurred at Seahawks games or beer festivals. There is definitely an added perverse pleasure to being shitfaced while the sun is still up. Bonus points if it is a weekday and most people are still at work.

I can't relate most of my inebriation stories here.

Man, WAP, you nailed it. If you are able to get drunk while other people are working, you have motherficking made it from my perspective. You can have all the success in the common sense, but if you can't get shitfaced in the daytime, you fail below the fucking cavemen. Shitdamnhell.

I am fucking drunk. Suck it, bitches.

OH FUCK, HOT CHIK THAT KNOWS THE FUCKING BARTENDER! WHUT DO I DO? SIGNE HELPZ ME!!!!!

My best daytime drunk happens yearly at Dunwoody Brewfest in Atlanta. 50 breweries show up and you pay $25 for 5 hours of all you can drink beers, plus a free pint glass, plus a free T-shirt.

I'd hilarious amounts of fun. The first year I went, i had 14 pints. Then we had a party at our house and set fire to the back lawn. Then we played beer pong, and one of my friends got to second base in the den in front of half the party guests. After that, things got hazy.

OK, that's pretty cool but I can get to fourth any day as a married man.

I once set fire to my coffee table WITH MY EVENTUAL FIANCEE during a daylight drunk. I did not really have anything against tbe table, but I wanted to burn something.

What about the hot chick?  You are all a bunch of fucking nerds.

SIGNE!

WTF are you talking about? A hot chick that knows the bartender? Do you know the bartender? Why are you on a forum while you are drunk? Where are you!

Impress her with your ability to post on a  forum while at a bar. Chicks go crazy for nerds guys like that.

If he's actually on a computer in a bar, this thread just took a turn from awesome day drunk into "What not to do while in a bar."

Sorry, I was napping.  Tell her she has a beautiful mind and that you have a beautiful wife.  Maybe they'll hook up.

So, when is it this year? I want to go. I hope it happens while I'm still here.

Edit: May 17th. I'll be here. I'll be there. We should meet up.  :drill:

I didn't think you were old enough for a midlife crisis Yegolev...

Yep the 17th, I roll in with out 8 of my friend in the back of an old ass pickup. It's a good old time.

If Americans keep getting fatter at the rate we have been, then yes, mid to late 20s will be "midlife" for the average.  :drill:

My last exam at college (in Glasgow) ended at 11 AM. We all went down to the local bar which was just opening. We drank until around 6PM, and walked into the city center, grabbing a doner kebab on the way. Drank in a couple of bars until 11PM and then hit the night clubs for the late license. Left the night club at 6AM and headed over to a bar on the East end which opened early for the shift workers. By the time we got out of there, the regular bars were just opening at 11AM. A full 24 hour session, a lot of beer and a lot of pissing. Didn't feel particularly drunk - I had probably slowed down enough for the liver to catch up with the consumption (shitty Scottish 'heavy', after all) - either that or I was in that state of consciousness just short of slipping into an alcohol induced coma.

I prefer the hot chick that is the bartender myself.


Not too big on daytime drunkenness though.

Not too big on daytime period.

I don't know if this thread makes me wish I would like the taste of Alcohol or does reinforce my gladness I don't drink.

Keep em coming so I can make a decision!

I think I attend way to many sporting events to be overly impressed with day-time drunkenness any more. I mean between 8 Browns home games, 3-4 OSU games, NFL draft day, the occasional Saturday/Sunday Indians game, then add in St. Patty's day, and vacations and I'm doing some heavy lifting during the day more often than I probably should...


My best story is St Patty's day my (first) senior year of college. We hit Flanagan's when it opened that morning at 5:30 and I drank until my 9:00 class. I would have skipped the class but the prof was a jerk and scheduled a quiz that day. Me and at least half of the rest of the class stumble in drunk, dressed all in green and reeking of beer and the guy had the nerve to cancel the quiz and cancel class anyway. Totally jacked up at least an hour of good early morning drinking time for no good reason...

I HAS NO CHILLEN!! YOU ARE NOT FROM ME!

You were a professional musician, you could have sprogs everywhere.  The women involved probably didn't tell you because, well... you know... you were a professional musician.  Ya know?

And now they've started a website.

No, Yoru. I will not appear on Montel with you and your mom.

 :ye_gods:

My best daytime drunk episode was probably when the Teviot Student Union in Edinburgh celebrated its 150th anniversary by going back to the original prices: 3 pence for whisky, gin and beer.  They thought that they could limit the damage by doing this at midday for only an hour, and limiting everyone to buying six drinks at a time.  Needless to say, six of us working a rounds system were able to burn through a whopping 36 or 39 pence each.  Thanks to George Bush's policies regarding the dollar this may be over a hundred dollars or more now but was then very cheap in real money.

I'll spare you the oh-so-hilarious student japery that resulted, mainly because none of us come out of it well, but the result was that of six of us, one spent the next 2 or 3 months in medical care, unable to stop crying*, and another was expelled from the university, a decision promptly reversed by the vice-chancellor's office when we pointed out that, since the university's reckless policy on selling subsidised alcohol to a 17-year-old was clearly to blame, he would have no choice but to recover damages from them.

----

*The one who had a nervous breakdown was, it should be said, a committed drug-user on a Thompson-esque scale, who only snapped after retiring to his room and laying into glue-laced hash, acid and a bottle of creme-de-menthe.  Given the nature of the mix he didn't OD as such and was pretty lucid afterwards but, like the man in the Johnny Cash song, he just started to cry and couldn't stop.

The last time I was drunk during the day was a gaming conference. And every one before that.

...

they're not good for you.

That's why I want to go. I think you drunk would be fan-fucking-tastic!

Schild is a hilarious drunk.  He's almost pleasant  :awesome_for_real:

 :crying_panda:

I can't even imagine being drunk in public past teenage years, except possibly at a private party or something.  At least not sloppy drunk.  It's totally not adorable.

I've worked renaissance faires for years, so many of my weekend days were filled with a glorious combination of intoxication and street improv. I think my "hight point" was my birthday at faire where I kept trying to eat but people kept buying me drinks instead. The evening ended with me jumping out of the car on the way home in my peasant garb, and vomiting on the city hall lawn and passing out. Good times!

Of course it is totally adorable. A big -old- drunken teddybear you can just pat their head and "Awwwww" at.  And hey, if he can post on a forum while drunk at a bar WITH hot chicks in his vision.. then he can be your own nifty party trick.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Orange.

Orange who?

Orange you glad I don't post while drunk anymore?

-------

Signe, I like the way you think, but I also think most women would be afraid of my wife. Since I have lost my mind, however, she has said that she would go drinking with me as long as I did not drive drunk anymore. Then we adopted a puppy.

No, really. She's fucking adorable and I will never sleep again.

Draculaaaa, Draculaaa... Draculaaa, Draculaaaa....

You named your dog Dracula?

 :headscratch:

ooooooo.  Puppy.  Awwww.  You should name her Snuggles.  No, no... Cuddles.  Pic?  INCOMING WARM FEELING!  (http://www.iheartpaws.com/forums/images/smilies/dog%20run.gif)

I was drunk all day yesterday, but mostly sober by the time I went out in public.  Does that half count?  Any bonus credit for starting before noon?

You're okay.  Sundays don't count at all unless you're supposed to be at work.  Then it counts at least twice.  If you get drunk and somehow get on television, like a cousin of mine who was supposed to be at work but went to an Italian food festival that was being filmed live instead, drank too much and got sacked via mobile phone while he was in a sleezy public toilet puking, you are simply awesome.

Drunk + Public = BESTEST TIMES EVAR!!!!1111    :drill:

I can't imagine making a point of telling other people how drunk I am past my teenage years either.  Even back then, the guy at the party talking about how wasted he is was generally the one nobody wanted to have anything to do with (had they also been posting on a message board at the time about how drunk they were, I imagine it would have been even worse).

Isn't there love and happiness in reliving your old tales of lunacy and describing in detail great feats of jackassery?

For yourself, yes. For everybody else listening, they either don't care or will call your own level of jackassery feable.

"Remember when" is the lowest form of conversation.  - Tony Soprano

I remember the "naked lunch moment" conversation a bunch of us - old friends from school - had in our early-to-mid twenties about this.  One of us said "Boys, have you noticed that all our stories start "Div yi mine yon time wi wiz ah bleezin in wi*..."?  The resulting conversation persuaded several of us that it was time to change.


*This is the Doric for: "Do you remember that time we were all drunk and we..."

Yes *but*.... usually when you are about to approach a "Remember When" moment, you aren't looking to discuss the finer points of Antiquing or solving great mathematical equations with your friends, you are in that silly, goofy, dumb, idiotic and childlike state of conversation where useless shit is just what you need, at that moment.


Then again there is always the guy who, in the middle of a serious conversation..will have one of those Remember When moments.

He should be shot.

I think you married him.  :ye_gods:

Are you ever going to change your picture?

Not until the ultimate evil of Uwe Boll is defeated at last.

That would take effort, so probably not.

That picture horrifies me though!

I think it's the red eyes.

My inner demon tastes like cherry cough drops. And hate.

You really want to go with the fact that your inner demon tastes like cherry cough drops?

Really?

Laced with codine.