f13.net

Where the hell is that surly bastard? He's been AWOL for nearly 5 weeks. I hope everything is okay.

I asked a couple times too and either no one knows or no one is answering.

I think he became annoyed and he buggered off.   That's what I think. 

OR something ate him.

My theory is still that the Secret Forum collective hit him over the head with a shovel and buried him behind the shed. Of course, it is curious that you said something ate him. Is he to be the main ingredient in VLs new repice? YOU MONSTERS!

I just want to know if he disappeared without a word, said goodbye in the sekrit place or got into a fight in the sekrit place and said fuck this.

Although the Tebonas theory is intriguing, that's twice Signe has come out explicitly stating that she "doesn't know", I think that she should be put at the top of any murder/consumption suspects list.  I can see it now - there's a dark alley somewhere in Phoenix leading to the secret f13 brotherhood's coven.  Ironwood comes walking down in the standard f13 branded cloak with the cowl pulled up to conceal his face.  He artfully dodges the pitfalls, pressure traps and poison barbed nets which once served to defend against f13's enemies like corp (enemies which have all been destroyed now by the way).  He gives the secret knock (set to the tune of something by Uematsu (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nobuo_Uematsu)) and the door opens.  Another cowled figure greats him with the hand signal, he passes both the door's threshold and the guard, lowers his cowl and bang - blunt force trauma to the back of the head.  A female voice quietly gives a satisfied laugh and drops the iron bust of Mario, cracking the marble floor.  She tries to pick him up so that he can be dragged down one of the side passages, never to be seen again.  Another secret knock, panic, she doesn't have time to dispose of the body and in her haste she forgot to bar the door.  She quickly kneels down by the body, takes off her cowl and pretends to sob, seeing if he's okay.  The door flings open to a third cowled figure who pauses upon surveying the scene.

She says "Quick, help, it's Ironwood.  He was good enough to relieve me as entrance sentry so that I could I play my bought in the Street Fighter IV round robin and when I came back... this.".

The newcomer lowers his cowl and asks "Signe, what really happened".

"Oh thank God its you Righ, we must hurry".

Hmm, that last bit almost turned it into f13 fanfic, gross.

He didn't say goodbye in any of the secret places I have access to. He simply left.

From what I can gather he stayed too long at the party in the politics forum and it finally proved too much for him. So, when things didn't go his way he simply backed off an stopped posting. As odd as that sounds, that's my interpretation of what I've read.

Let this be a lesson to you kids. Politics kills faster than crack.

He might have fallen in a hole.

If its over the row in politics something needs to be done.  I doubt that is the reason, though.


Ironwood is a big boy and can take care of himself.  I miss him.   :?

Never underestimate the power of political views to turn the best of friends into the worst of enemies.  Which is why I don't visit the political forum or talk politics with anyone I know, I'd rather still somewhat like\respect people rather than not.

I bet that the decades of pot smoking finally caught up with him.

Heh, agreed. :pedobear:

You'll know why he's gone soon enough.

 :ye_gods:

If he doesn't come back soon, someone needs to take it upon themself to insult all of us with one line quips in every one of their posts. One or two word quips even.  :-)

[edit] I really don't think it's anything to do with this site. His skin is too thick for that. Must be something else in the "real world". Hope the guy's OK.

Everything I don't say to all of you could be said in two words.  If I wanted to say them, that is.  Which I don't.  (yet)

None of these cryptic comments are filling me with confidence.  I just hope everything is ok.

This sounds ominous.  WHATS GOING ON??? :ye_gods:

We, the secret forum, have decided it best to wait until the great Lord Schildius decree it be heard.



Edit: Fixed it so people don't take me seriously. We all know nothing.

This does not bode well. Get on with it already.

If you don't know just say so, but please no cryptic BS. I'm looking at you Ookii.

They're trying to craft a message brilliant enough to not cause a mass exodus and outcry when they announce they banned Ironwood.  :awesome_for_real:


Really, I hope he's good.

The pessimist in me is telling me that the only thing Ironwood cares for more than snarky oneliners is his family and so something probably happened to one of them.

The optimist in me is telling me that the only thing Ironwood cares for more than snarky oneliners is his family and so he decided to spend more time with them.

Dash?

I just got back from what could be called "The Longest Weekend of My Life."

No one knows for sure where Ironwood went. I assumed he left because I told him to stop peddling cryptic bullshit when he was trying to be subtle about asking Dash to be banned.

As we know, politics is a cesspit free for all (with no safe pve-zones). And the only reason people have gotten banned in the past is because everyone else, ahem, not the poster himself, but everyone else makes the thread about them. See: Geldon, Hyu, and Bruce. Now, Dash is just a political ninny who fancies himself smart. Those other guys were a different story that didn't keep their shit contained in the Thunderdome. Dash does, so I refused to ban him. That's why that "Dash" thread appeared.

But as time goes on, I'm beginning to think Ironwood isn't a big enough pussy to leave over something like that. As such, I hope everything is fine with his family as that's the only other thing I can think of that would make him disappear.

Anyway, yea, there's what's going on. The fate of the private forums and politics itself (since it is a giant shithole) will be decided by me sometime over the next few weeks. Odds are I'm going to keep politics open though because, well, it's an election year and I don't want a million threads made by amateur pundits in gen disc.

So, as far as you know, he fell in a hole.

Correct.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Ironwood pajamas.
They once made a Ironwood toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Ironwood frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Ironwood.
Ironwoods' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
Ironwood played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
When Ironwood does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Ironwood is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Ironwood counted to infinity - twice.
If you can see Ironwood, he can see you. If you can't see Ironwood you may be only seconds away from death.
Ironwood has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

There are 1,371 objects in this room Ironwood can kill you with.

Including the room itself.

Google detectiving leads me to believe he is, at least, personally alive and on the Internet in other places.  Beyond that, I hope everything and everyone else in his personal life is good.

If that idiot Dash led to Ironwood leaving here in whatever circuitous way, that is a real shame.

I sincerely doubt a little punk like Dash could have personally driven Ironwood away but on top of everything else he might have tipped the scales between "I like reading/posting there" and "Why do I still log into a place that I no longer enjoy, fuck that".

Maybe he finally beat F13 on hardcore mode.

Few reasons to play again once you reach the cap.

Tier 1 endgame is when the game actually begins though!

I'm consistently amazed by these boards.  I really cant imagine I'm the cause of this departure but then again I dont know you people very well.  If it's my mere presence that caused this, someone have him PM me or something and if we cant work it out  I'll just leave.

For what its worth I find it as likely that you are the reason as my shovel to the head theory.

Well I agree, but again I'm just offering that up.  Take it for what it's worth.

Ironwoo has skin far too thick to be chased off by a person.  I'm guessing he has personal issues, computer issues, or simply got bored with things here. 

I think he got bored about a year ago. I haven't researched enough to see how many of his posts that weren't in politics were over 6 words though. And when they started getting shorter.

I don't think one random moron would do that but if schild basically told him to fuck right off he just might do that.  Hopefully he just needed a recharge because I like having him around.

Ahem. I told him to not feed me cryptic bullshit. Needless to say, if you're gonna bitch and moan, be straightforward about it.

Did you use your trademark diplomatic skills in doing so?  :grin:

Wiseass.

And hell no, he wasn't diplomatic to begin with.

I like straightshooters, if I wanted bullshit, I'd call my dad.

Leave me out of this.

Dad?

Man, that'd be awkward.

Schild is a ginger?

Not in the slightest.

Goddamnit, Feet.  See what people think of me, now? 

Christ.

He certainly wouldn't be the only one.

We don't need more than 5 wiseasses per thread.

Oh poo. w(here)tf are you, hunny?

Maybe he's just gearing up for his 2008 campaign?

(http://www.zod2008.com/kneelingman.jpg)

I was talking to schild. He isn't replying to IMs.

Meh, having read the response, Schild wasn't any more of a dick than he normally is on an everyday situation about movies.

My guess is that he just got bored as well.

Man, this is just like when Boogelaboo went missing!  Almost same type of poster as well.

I'm hoping this will also result in a thread like this: http://www.corpnews.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=2331&highlight=mike+internet&st=

Who gets dibs on calling Ironwood's dad?

I'm sure he's also an angry old scotsman, similar to boogs dad (we'll except scottish).  That should be fun.

Boog isn't fit to hold Ironwood's jock.

Maybe Scotland went to war and he got drafted?

What a love-in. I'm sure Ironwood's heart is sufficiently entertained.

It is getting kinda creepy now.

I'm annoyed that I told him to stop with the cryptic bullshit and he just decided to do something more cryptic.

Consistent, I suppose.

You told him to stop with the cryptic bullshit.  What else did he ever post?

So in that vein, maybe he thought Schild meant stop posting?

Oh, and please don't close the politics forum, it's an awesome place to 1) vent and 2) pick up arguing points to beat some of my stubborn friends over the head with.

Get new friends instead!  :grin:

Well, at least it sounds like he wasn't eaten by a Grue or anything, that's good.

This place will seem odd without Zod staring me down though.

I don't think Ironwood left because of Dash or because he was too bored with f13.  I think he left because he thought Politics could be run better and made suggestions and his suggestions weren't really even acknowledged, just sort of dismissed because on this board you don't fiddle with the Politics forum.  It's either here and left on it's own or it's gone.  At least that's my impression of it.   Like most Scottish men I know, he said, "Well, allrighty then" and buggered off.  Righ's buggered off before, so has Nebu and several other people, because there's no reason to stay somewhere if it annoys you.  I even buggered off once, but for some other reason.  Sometimes they come back and sometimes they fall in a hole.  I think I can do both.

Some people just take breaks.

The internet is way too serious for a hiatus.

You really never know if someone's a political zealot (of any form) until you run into them on the politics forum on any site. Unfortunately, by the time you find that out, it's far too late to ever have an interesting discussion with that person on any topic. Ever again.

I prefer to maintain illusions  :grin:

What's surprising to me is that noone has a way of contacting Ironwood one way or another.

He's virtually an institution here. We have Trippy for cutthroat tech talk, we have Schild representing Generation XBox, we have Ironwood to smack people about the head in Politics. Its just the way its been for the two years I've been posting here.

Noone over the course of f13's existence has had any contact outside of posting with Ironwood? No sharing of funny emails, no MMO contact, no Steam frag matches, no nothing at all?

If so, that's pretty sad. Even I have a few f13 mates here and there and I've barely scratched the surface of this board's social circles.

What the fuck is Generation Xbox?

A term I coined 10 min ago with the express purpose of getting up yer nose  :grin:

You europeans are an unpredictable shifty bunch.

Generation XBOX is unfair to Schild's love for Japanese stuff. But well of course you need to be unfair to get up someone's nose.

On Ironwood's fate, I like to think he is back... again... to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center. Guess someone has to go there and get him.

If he left of his own volition, then it would seem he either doesn't care what we think, or doesn't want us to know.  If he didn't, and nobody has a way to contact him outside here, same applies.  I'd prefer he show up again and all, but it's his business either way.

Posters come and go though the years, sometimes they start up under new aliases, sometimes get angry, sometimes they get bored or move on to other pastures… …and I'm hoping in all cases (even the acerbic ones) that its a voluntary (or a "just" banning) and not because of a RL tragedy…

Generation Xbox sounds like the kind of thing you'd call someone who found Halo and decided it was the best thing ever. Someone who, you know, didn't exist before Nintendo even came around with the NES.

The term completely defines the opposite of me.

As such, it just makes up no sense.

(http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/8/83/200px-0330chewbacca.jpg)

Someone visited him in Scotland a while ago, Samwise or WAP I think.  I also assume the registered email address isn't hidden from admins but I don't know if it would be cool to email him about it.

See, that's why it was such a brilliant bit of annoyance. Its innacurate yet I bet you face people every day that are blindly ignorant of the distinctions you make here. By throwing you in with the XBox category, I not only misrepresent you in your mind, but adequately compliment the stereotype that anyone playing on consoles instead of computers is just part of that wasted generation of youth that can only handle a few buttons instead of a full keyboard. Its just fantastic!

Yeah, that was me.  I'm saddened by his departure, but I'm interpreting its quietness to mean that he doesn't want a gaggle of random f13ers tracking him down IRL to ask about it.

I guess if he wanted us to know why he isn't here anymore he would have written something. Lets just hope he is fine and be done with the creepiness of thinking of ways to stalk him.

Ironwood the scot
Disappears without a trace
Thanks for all the fish

Ohai I thought you said haikus.

Yeah, Sam and not I, although if I ever make it to that side of the pond he is one of the folks for which I would be happy to buy a pint or twelve.

Channeling:

I bet he finally succumbed to his daughter's subliminal demands for blood, and landed in the pokey. Her eyes speak volumes!

I think Dash is Ironwood's new alias.

Pretty much.

Dash wasn't the reason, just the catalyst.

Well to be fair, it's now 33 years old...

Ironwood is my pornstar name.

 :oh_i_see:

Dash is not a bad porn name.

Dash Ironwood?

That's Boogie Nights-worthy.

Doesn't age in the bottle, btw.

In my mind?

I own and have played probably more PC games (since say, 1990) than any 2 people on this board.

Mostly, it was just nonsensical bullshit. There was nothing brilliant about it.

The fact that it bothers you enough to keep replying and shoot it down says otherwise.

I have to agree. It has clearly perterbed you, which means win.

Well done Engels.

Really, I didn't mean to bother a brother that bad  :uhrr: Schild, if you think it was a stupid comment, fair 'nough, but I didn't mean anything by it.

It looks like Ironwood made a comment to Lum's post about Prokofy Neva so he's around. I've always enjoyed his posts in the relatively short time I've been here and hope he comes back.

Aaand now I have a headache. Thanks.

God oh god why did I read that blog thread. I swear to god if someone attracts that crazy lady to f13 I'll scream.

Lum's site is just a gateway drug.  We'll the hardcore stuff.  He'll be back.

Yoy, that thread was long and painful…

Someone with his email address could have just fired off a quick casual hello to see what's up.  Before this giant "WTF WHERE IS IRONWOOD" thread, that is.

Not until this thread is 30 pages long and involves internet detectives posting a scary amount of IRL information about Ironwood, someone tries to make contact with his family and I am once again reminded that anonymity on the internet is scarily easy to lose.

That or we lose interest and start discussing bacon, whichever really.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=4sBPm6ubjnU

I spoke with him.  He is fine, he just needed a break.

How anti-climactic   :oh_i_see:

How does everyone feel about turkey bacon?

I sort of grew up with it and, when I got my own place, was shocked to see how different the process is for cooking pork bacon.  The sheer difference in the amount of grease is what surprised me the most, I think.  With turkey bacon, there's very little.

The tastes are different, but honestly I don't have much of a preference for one over the other so I think it's worth it to stick with turkey bacon by default as the healthier, cleaner choice.

Opinions?

Ironwood keeps commenting on that Lum's blogpost about the crazy Second Life woman.

So it's official: Lum kidnapped Ironwood. Case closed. Now it's a job for the SWAT dudes, although judging from Lantyssa's post Stockholm syndrome already kicked in  :oh_i_see:

Turkey bacon? I've not actually ever seen that but all that wonderful fat is part of what makes bacon such a great food. It means not only have you got all that flavour but you can use it for adding more flavour to other foods. doubleplusgood.

The bacon thread seems to be leaking, soon it will devour the whole site.

Don't question it.

(http://justyouraverageguy.files.wordpress.com/2007/10/bacon.jpg)

Last month, I made the switch from regular pepperoni to turkey pepperoni. The taste is lacking a bit but it still goes well with monterey jack with jalepenos and Club crackers. Old snacks die hard.

Turkey bacon?

No way.

Tofu FTW.

Jeff the god of Bacon should strike you down for even mentioning that word in a Bacon discussion!

It tastes disturbingly like bacon, but the texture is all wrong.

It also has a bunch of chemicals added to it to make it taste like real bacon, so all the people I know who say "I only eat turkey bacon because it is healthier" I laugh at. Those chemicals can't be better for you than what they replace.

Haha.  I'll have you know I was loyal to Ironwood before any alleged kidnappings.  I'm actually a mole left here to infiltrate the site. :-P

(http://brickarms.com/Images2/Products/SpyBond_Gallery_1.jpg)

Wait.  I'm confused.  The panda is now a mole?  It makes me wonder if the owls are what they seem.

 :heart: I am sorry Righ but now I officially have to marry Signe.  :heart:

(http://pages.prodigy.net/fitten/webdoc7_files/smoketree.gif)

I've had turkey bacon AND turkey wrapped in bacon at a Rodizio.  Now that's good stuff.  and now I'm hungry.

Would turkey wrapped in turkey bacon be... I don't know, too self-indulgent?

Dude.  That's just wrong.

It seems almost masturbatory, doesn't it?

You people need counseling.

That's what my therapist says, too! ;D

Actually he says I'm amazingly stable.  Shows what he knows.

(http://www.lakechamplainchocolates.com/images/Product/larger_view/F312001001.jpg)

I've eaten pork wrapped in bacon before. It was yummy.

Pork wrapped in bacon is good (even better cheese and bacon for the yummy overload). I don't get the turkey love though, turkey is the worst tasting meat I ever had.

Some might even call it... foul.

Oh god. Oh man.

That's not funny unless you say it out loud.

Ahem, I love turkey.

Maybe I just didn't meet anyone who knows how to prepare it yet. I presume I'd have more luck in a country that celebrates Thanksgiving and has the required training.

Turkey is easy. The key is to fry the shit out of it, and do it right. Very few people know how to do this though, so they fuck it up and try to bake it. These poor souls then feed that dried out carcass to their families who choke it down with a half-assed smile. This goes on for years.

Stop the madness people. Fry your turkey.

I'm not reading this thread until Ironwood posts in it.

I think turkey has a much nicer flavor than chicken.

The problem is everyone assumes they are supposed to eat the white meat. I'm the guy at the Thanksgiving table (in October) gnawing on the drumstick. Also, turkey makes the best gravy for mashed potatoes possible.

When he comes back he's going to read this, get to the point where someone confused it with the bacon thread leading to a massive derail, and leave forever.

You don't have to fry your turkey, but if you are going to bake/roast it, you need to brine that shit. Brining a turkey for Thanksgiving just makes moist, delicious turkey unless you cook it too long.

Yeah, I have had excellent baked Turkey.  Turkey has to be my favorite meat.  Just so damn good.  Also, Bunk is correct, the gravy you make from Turkey to go with the mashed potatoes is godly.

One of my more desperate moments in Japan was running around trying to figure out a way to eat some damn Turkey on Thanksgiving.  I found a Japanese Denny's to go to as a last resort.  However, I don't think the Japanese really "get" Turkey and how to make it.....

Brining, shielding and larding are all important for a good turkey.

Or risk burning yourself alive and fry it. Deep-fried turkey = luv.

truthiness.

Actually, you still have a lot more leeway on cooking time if you brine.

Oh I  :heartbreak: Threads that either ARE about food, or derail into a food discussion!

Well, the only way I can be seen eating turkey is in my Wiener Schnitzel. So yes, you really have to fry this white meat.

And just for the sake of it: How to get a real moisty Chicken (http://bbq.about.com/cs/chicken/a/aa100400a.htm).

It's just something of infinite beauty and majesty once the chicken is enthroned:

(http://www.thegadgetsource.com/Merchant2/graphics/00000001/681129150014.jpg)

Unless your turkey is a calf with an identity crisis you didn't eat a Wiener Schnitzel!  :-)

Wiener Schnitzel isn't what it was, I know.
I'd say that Turkey can still serve the cause in a Wiener Schnitzel without getting a national identity crisis ;)

Lunchtime! Thanks for reminding me guys.

(http://i241.photobucket.com/albums/ff26/stuabrtow/thanksgiving.jpg)

Fried turkey is pretty awesome, but a juicy baked turkey cannot be beat. Anyways, it's all about the trimmings in the end. (nsfw) (http://i241.photobucket.com/albums/ff26/stuabrtow/thanksgiving-poster.jpg)

Turkey deli slices do not count as turkey.

Not turkey:
(http://www.butterball.com/en/images/products/extra_thin.gif)

Turkey:
(http://food-beverage.punchstock.com/images/galleries/festive-food/bxp44810.jpg)

Nice breasts.


Turkey looks good too.

Yeah, like they would sell Turkey deli slices here. But nice try   :-)

(http://www.mnstate.edu/publications/alumnews/1999/turkey.jpeg)

I didn't know they sold turkey at all over on that side of the ocean, but I assumed that if they did it'd be easier to import square vaccuum-sealed packages than live (or fresh) birds.

It must be indoctrination from those US TV shows, but some people actually think they need a turkey at Christmas. They sell them fresh like chickens, but unlike chickens our people don't know how to prepare them. Its sad really. Not everything on TV is fit for emulation.

FIFY

I wonder how Ironwood feels about turkey.

Probably that it's way too far away from Scotland to even be considered for EU membership.

wtf does Shadaim mean? This confused me (http://www.shadaim.co.il/). NSFW!!

Isn't shadaim Hebrew for boobages?

Do you look this shit up randomly? If so, grats Sauced. :awesome_for_real:

We lolled.

You just owned half the staff of this board in reading cursive (http://forums.f13.net/index.php?topic=12562.msg422683#msg422683).

So Shadaim is hebrew for plastic breast surgery? Is this one of those little known about crafts that the jewish community has been working on for centuries before the rest of the western world caught up?

Well, they know how to build Golems for a long time now. From that its not that far a step.

Boobs.

I don't speak Hebrew, but I did watch an episode of 'Coupling' where that word was a central part of the storyline.

Me, in another thread-


Great minds...

2 words: Wobble Wars   :grin:

I am not surprised that a thread named "Ironwood" has been turned into a booby thread.  I am surprised, however, that Ironwood wasn't behind it.

Do we really know that his shadowy grasp didn't manipulate this thread?

I doubt it.

So his leaving was premeditated.  If only to spark a discussion of Hebrew boobies?

You never know.  Between this and that thread that somehow declined into silly quote nesting, it wouldn't shock me.  It's like half the people reading this board caught some virus that makes them stupid.  I'm pretty sure they caught it in politics.  Since I rarely read that, I suppose I'm reasonably safe.  It's nice being the sane one for a change.

Only those people that meddle in politics without knowing what they get into. The rest of us build up resistance to stupidity by being exposed to it in larger and larger doses. Of course getting Dashed without proper preparation must be like meeting an Old One.

Maybe I'm the vector.  I bounce around the board and visit Politics.

It sounds like a cool villain name in CoX.  The Vector.

The Vector: Red Panda of Fury.

I smell a movie.

I love this game!  :pedobear:

(http://i103.photobucket.com/albums/m142/jrstubbs/EFG.gif)

wtf?

It's epic fail guy. And it was apt.

Ironwood is kind of like an Antediluvian.

I'm replaying Bloodlines.

So when he returns he will kill us all? Comforting thoughts.

Unless we diablerize him first.

No fun! Since it's VDL's broken quote, it looks my my epic fail!

SOMEONE IS WRONG ON THE INTERNETS!

Uh, who is Evan Dando?  :uhrr:

I miss Ironwood's off beat English humour.   

Where in the land of the rose has our limey gone?

(http://www.clisham.com-a.googlepages.com/england.gif)

ENGLISH humour?  LIMEY?  That should bring him back, if only to kick your ass.

Quick, we must pacify him with more images of the "joobies"

(http://www.its2.uidaho.edu/video/Podcast/bbs.jpg)

(http://www.gpdesenhos.com.br/imagens/outros/outros/scotsman.jpg)

Now ya've gone an' donnit.

If/when Ironwood returns he will read this thread, look puzzled and post calling us all cunts (besides the boobie posters).

Well then, just to avoid that.

(http://is.blick.ch/img/gen/K/d/HBKdJNXk_Pxgen_rc_500xA,500x448+0+0.jpg)

My orange kitty rubs his teeth on my me all the time.  I don't know why. 

My what?  I don't know.  I meant to type me.

mmmm human flesh.

NOM NOM NOM!!!

Their sex video would break the internet.

I can't tell from the pics who they are.  They don't look like Madonna, though.

I wish Scarlet didn't look so awful in that picture.

I agree.  She's way below my standards.

I just can't quite bring myself to post that horrible response picture about standards for internet posters.  Sorry.

There's a reason I subtly referenced it rather than inlining it.   :oh_i_see:

Well - where ever he is, I hope he is well and enjoying himself.

(http://webhollis.com/albums/SWFs/French_Erotic_Film.thumb.jpg) (http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/french).

That wasn't very funny at all.

The only funny part was the foot part. And Monty Python has always been and will always be funny, so no hilarious points there.

Sauce! Nao!  :drill:

Maybe it's his wife who needs pacifying.

(http://farm1.static.flickr.com/25/44781943_33e9c8a3a8.jpg)

Just in case.

for Signe

 :Love_Letters:

Try being in Iraq....with no pork products  ie no bacon. (In 2003)

Then being excited because you were able to get some beef bacon through a black market connection.
Asking your pakistani cooks to make it for breakfast the next morning, not knowing they dont "get" bacon as a concept.
You show up anticipating the fried goodness to be confronted by a quivering boiled mass of gray, stringy stinking meat......

THE HORROR!

Beef bacon?! The mind fucking boggles.




In horror.  :ye_gods:

(http://i241.photobucket.com/albums/ff26/stuabrtow/hoff_awfulwaffle.gif)

(http://img149.imageshack.us/img149/6562/0whoazu6.jpg)

/shrug

Seemed appropriate.

Hasselcrotch literally hurts my eyes. What an awful gif.

You are so dainty.

Signe has all the best pics.  One of these days I'm just going to raid her hard drive.  :drill:

Fuck Venom.

Ok.  I'll take one for the team on that.

 :pedobear:

Samwise, that was the best WTF pic I've ever seen.  Any text or other addition would only mar it.

Had to look it up again, Brooke Burke was her name

Agreed.

 :ye_gods:

You people are insane.  Quite literally insane.

I read this whole thread (and what it became) and then I scratch my head that A - Anyone Cares and B - Anyone is surprised at my hiatus considering what the thread morphed into.

I took a break for quite a few reasons, none of them actually site related.  So there are at least 3 people in here who can calm down on that score.

I'm fine.  Family's fine.  Work is....well, works shite, but I get paid a fuckload, so it's not all bad.


For what it's worth, I banned myself, since I was sure the lure would be strong.  I scrambled my password and changed my e-mail address to a vibrator repair shop.  Sorry to anyone who tried to get in touch with me that way.

.
.
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Oh;  and you're all Cunts.

Told them it was creepy, but nobody listens to me anymore now that they know I'm not your gimmick account.

Welcome back, cockmunch. Glad to hear that everything's good.

I demand that you use your regular account. I am sure Trippy can send you a new password or something. Your new identity frightens and confuses me.

Sounds elfish.

My insanity is a defense mechanism.  It keeps me sane.

Missed you! :heart:

I do sort of imagine you as appearing mole-like, in an incredibly handsome and wealthy way, though.  Maybe with tiny round specs and a dashing waxed mustache.  You're old pw is probably somewhere still in your cache, you know.  Righ has gone, too, now.  Definitely needed a break.  From here, not from me!  He didn't like some of the things he was saying around here, so he buggered off.  I stay out of politics so I can game with almost everyone here without wanting to take numerous scalding showers and scrubbing until my skin comes off.  Unfortunately, some can't refrain from forcing me to hate them by bringing their stupidity into the rest of the forum.  I now avoid more threads than I read.   :ye_gods:  Which means I have more time for kittens and shoes!   :awesome_for_real:

(http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:C0iVZc2OBVZX9M:http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/e/e7/Hans_Moleman.png)

Close!

 :heart:

(http://www.posterworx.co.nz/images2/Ph0222KittenShoe.jpg)

I'm going to assume that this is some kind of hoax. The real Ironwood would never have done anything so silly and overly-dramatic as to sabotage his own account. I mean - Geldon did that too.

Hello!  All your enemies (present company excluded) have been banned or exiled in various ideological purges.  We can have fun again!

It wasn't anything to do with Drama :  For Christ's Sake, I was in the Top Eight posters of all time.  I had a problem.  :)  Merely ignoring the boards wasn't gonna do it.  There would always be some wee fuckstick with an opinion that I couldn't ignore.  Somewhere, Someone was WRONG on the Internet !

So I changed that.  I was fortunate to have Talpidae here, which was a gimmick account I made around the time of all the 'mole' posting.  Hell, that indicates that I had a problem.  I wrote flow charts and graphs and presentations to prove Tal wasn't a mole.  It was going to be a fucking stunning Gimmick.  The mods would recognise the IP and keep it going.  It was gonna be a wizard wheeze.  Then I realised that I had spent 3 days making a joke from the boards and I was bored.  My co-workers were looking at the charts and saying 'New IT Project ?'  I told 'em it was a web thing that I didn't think would get off the ground.  I told them it was the F13 project.  That still makes me smile.

It was much later I just gave it up.  It co-incided with the great 'Schild Has No Brain' thread that went on in the Super Sekrit forums, but it wasn't anything to do with that.  I was arguing with him and suddenly, just like that, the switch went off.  Time to stop.

So I did.  Signe's Right;  Scottish people are just like that.  A LOT of things just stopped around Casa Ironwood.

I hadn't even browsed as a guest or looked at the front page till today on the Edinburgh train.  That proved to be a mistake.  This thread totally freaked me out, so I reincarnated Talpidae to say my piece, tell you all to stop worrying, and then head off again.

And here I am.  Heading off.

Yup, Going now.

Any second...

Wait for it.

Don't head off again. We need a daily dose of irritable Scottish prick telling us we're all cunts.

I always preferred the rational and objective side of the man.  Granted, it always came with a side of bile.

I understand why he's leaving and respect him for it.  Best regards to you, sir.   

Going Cold Turkey was invented by the Scotts?

G'luck with buggering off now that you've come back.


<time card punch>
"G'night Ralph."  "See you tomorrow, Sam."

Welcome back, you salty dog. Even though I know you're a Scot(tish person?) I always read your voice to sound like Yatzhee Croshaw. I think that's why you're so rich, right?

The only threads I talk in anymore are the sekkrit threads, the photo threads and my own recipe thread. How's that for commitment?

You're a well-loved and respected assmunch around these parts of the interweb, 'wood.   This thread shouldn't surprise you much.

Imagine, if you will, that you just didn't show up at work one day.  They'd wonder and tlak about you, too.  It just wouldn't be immortalized for you to find some time later.

It probably also wouldn't degenerate into talking about your sexual preferences either, but then we're all pervs here.

No, they'd just fire his ass.

Welcome back.

Moderation is a good thing. No need to go cold turkey. Just set the egg timer for 5 minutes.

I want to see the graphs and flow charts.

have the mods reactivate his old account and turn it into a bot.  Create some esoteric set of spawning rules to trigger the you are all a bunch of cunts reply.

My flow chart:

(http://www.plannedparenthood.org/images/PPFA/chart-menstrual-cycle.jpg)

Does the hormonal activity level correlate to irritability, or just, you know, being more hormonal in the way guys who are said to be hormonal get hormonal and uhm, stuff?

I'm only really edgy/weepy/cunty for about a day, one week before my period. I'm on the Pill, so my hormones are like clockwork, but yes, Engels, it does. And stuff.

BAD SIGNE!

Oh, and kinda-sorta-welcome back to Ironwood.

I mean, you're definitely welcomed and I hope you stick around, but in case you're not actually sticking...

oh fuck it, you know what i mean

Have it reply with "Shut up" every third time I post.  Two out of three in politics.   :oh_i_see:

When did you come back?

I missed seeing Zod around.  And baby pictures.

I love that baby.  More pics please!  Her face always brightens my day!

I'll see what I can do.  Got a lot of new ones.

Alas, I'm in Edinburgh today for a meeting, so I don't have my laptop with the hugely vomit inducing and boring selection of 8Gb of Elena Cuteness.

I have one I can post for them while we wait!  May I Mr. Zod?

You do ?

Go for it.

Yeah, from when we talked a few months ago.

Behold the power of Cute!

(http://iria.chem.uh.edu/f13/elena.jpg)

When is she going to start posting?

He's going to break her in by teaching her how to type "Shut up" to WUA first.

She still has those "I am going to murder you with my mind" eyes.

She is like Hello Kitty of the Corn.

No way.  I have a pink name and a carebear avatar.