f13.net

"It appears an elephant in being unloaded in preparation for a circus at Yamba this afternoon has fallen on a person, believed to be a man" (http://au.news.yahoo.com/071227/2/15dlx.html)

:(

I hope you're proud of your pun, you bastard.

Authorities speculate the man was not aware of the gravity of the situation.

Time to get a new fence!   :rimshot:

What's worse, being crushed by an elephant or being mauled and killed by a tiger at a zoo on Christmas day (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/12/27/wtiger127.xml)?

There is speculation that the tiger escaped by climbing up the legs that one of these geniuses dangled over the edge of the moat. If that is correct, the zoo should sue that kid's parents for the price of the dead tiger. Dumbfuck.

The tiger thing? I cheer for the tiger. Cage up a poor motherfucker like that. I cheer for shark attacks, too. We've almost wiped tigers off the planet. Good on that one for some payback.

I've been to that exhibit, and I can't really see that happening.  It's a hell of a moat.

Bummer that they shot the tiger.  Like Sky, I generally don't feel too bad when an animal asserts its place in the food chain, but it unfortunately tends to end with the animal dying.

Also, I thought this thread was somehow about Elephant Fellatio.

 :ye_gods:

Then don't be bummed, because it's just another animal re-asserting its place on the food chain.

The tiger probably should have put down when it ate the arm off a zookeeper during a public feeding.  It was getting just a tad over-aggressive for an animal kept in captivity.

Point.  I should have specified that it's endangered animals asserting their places in the food chain (while thinning a grossly overpopulated herd) I tend to root for.  Be it falcons eating pigeons or tigers eating people.

I bet you anything the zookeepers didn't even eat that tiger.

An animal kept in captivity is still a wild animal. No reason to put it down when it is just doing what comes naturally. The zookeeper violated policy in that case, and paid the price. Why blame the cat for what a human did?

Latest news: According to german news sources the man tried to free the tiger before he got eaten. Oh the irony.

Man: "Such a majestic beast shouldn't be caged up here, I must free it!"
Tiger: "Such a foolish ape looks quite delicious, I must eat him!"

Definitely not a criminal mastermind. This is what henchmen are for. Unless he was the henchman. Maybe the tiger paid him off. Maybe it was a rakshasa.

Why couldn't they use a tranq dart instead of a shooting it dead, I ask.

Haven't seen any info on that, but it was playing around with another guy.  When the police yelled at it to stop, it started coming for them, which is when the cops opened fire.  My guess is that it was a matter of a 911 call going out and the police arriving on the scene weren't equipped with tranq darts.

The police yelled at it to stop?  :uhrr:

From http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/12/26/national/main3646528.shtml?source=RSSattr=HOME_3646528 (http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/12/26/national/main3646528.shtml?source=RSSattr=HOME_3646528)

The first attack happened right outside the tiger's enclosure - the victim died at the scene. Another was about 300 yards away, in front of the zoo cafe. The police chief said the animal was mauling the man, and when officers yelled at it to stop, it turned toward them and they opened fire.

Only then did they see the third victim, police said.

Obligatory:

(http://img171.imageshack.us/img171/7395/southparkep1031dd7.jpg)

Well played, sir.

I hope you realize that you've unwittingly spoiled the plot of next year's mindbogglingly saccharrine Doctor Who Christmas special right?

:awesome_for_real:

rishathra?

Hmmm?   :grin:

I read that, look at you avatar, and laugh.

You have your own wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rishathra) entry. God, I love wikipedia.

Hey, you got a response. It never works when I say I'm in the desert.

I KNEW I had heard that word before.

Nor when I'm falling.

This is F13, so I figured I was going to get torn apart for making a pointless, useless post.  It worked out much better than I expected.

This is serious business. There is nothing pointless enough for this place.