f13.net

I have been watching these shows a lot lately. I don't watch too much TV but I find myself always catching these shows. Anyone else enjoy these? I actually like Survivor Man a lot, I am not too wild about Man vs. Wild, but I still watch it if it is on. I think that Bear Grill ( the Man vs. Wild guy) is a little on the extreme side. I just don't see my self ever being airlifted to the top of a volcano and them jumping off and having to make my way back down... Maybe it's just me, but the stuff in Survival Man Just seems more useful/practical.

Discuss. 

Oh, fucking Jesus H. Christo on a cracker, I hate Man vs Wild.  That is a lying ass bastard, that Bear Grylls.  No fucking way is that show real and they don't even really try to make it believeable.  I watch it just hoping that nut-barber will have a serious injury but due to the total faked-rigged-bullshitness there just isn't any way.  I want to kick Bear in the baaaaaalls.  He's the king of lying douchebags.  I couldn't shake enough fists at him if I was fucking Shiva.  I'M NOT A GOD-DAMNED IMBECILE, I KNOW YOU ARE LYING AND THE SHOW IS FAAAAAAAAKE!

Wasn't there an article basically saying that even though he eats bugs and raw stuff, he sleeps in hotels by night?

I don't need no fucking article to tell me that.

http://www.reuters.com/article/televisionNews/idUSN2934925920070730

The rage is epic Yegolev.  There is much untapped hate here.

Ditto all sentiments.  I don't watch much TV but I do love me some Discovery Channel.  Out of MvW and Survivor Man, SM wins hands down.  I watch them both, but MvW it's blatantly obvious he has a camera man tailing him.  It could be wishful thinking but I think the Survivor Man guy is out there solo.  Plus as previously mentioned he just has a lot more neato/useful info about survival, as opposed to the wanna-be commando info Bear spouts.

Funny someone mentioned this as it annoys the shit out of me too.  Hurry up and let Myth Busters come on already.

I like both the shows. I give Survivorman props for haulin' his camera shit around with him. Everything is different when you are out there truely alone.

Bear would like to believe that the fatasses on the couch watching could do and spider climb up a 50 ft. crevace. He's always do some dumb shit that would get you killed or maimed if you screwed it up. It seems like Les is a lot more chill, takes his time and does stuff right.

See, Bear does dumb shit like get a can of water from a running stream and boil it for safety, then he catches a fish from the same stream and just bites into it raw.  Dumbass, you just wasted your time and effort boiling the water.

There's also the notion that he can start raging forest fires with mere friction and a smirk, while the MythBusters couldn't do that using a power drill.  I'm not saying that the MythBusters are right all the time, but there were using a power drill, for fuck's sake.

Ha, yeah I can definitely say that Survivor Man is 100% real, not only that, he tapes, edits his show by himself and he does the music for the show himself as well.

Well, fuck, I need to watch that show.

Sort of.  Lots of video games to play.

I've also heard that he makes his own camera film from tree bark and road kill!

I like Survivor Man.  I mean, whats better than watching a Canadian hick starve slowly over several days?  Les admits to carrying a sat radio with him and not really being out of touch with his crew which is never that far away though.

As far as I know Bear has always admitted to having a camera crew with him and the small print at the end of the show always mentions the local survival expert they used so I never really expected MvW to be as 'serious' as SM.

My problem with man vs wild is half the crap he does if you were really in a desperate situation would be about the last thing you would really want to try. Almost every episode he does something very stupid that could easily get you a broken leg/killed for no reason. Some times if you are really stuck out in the wild you do have to take chances but you don't do so stupidly and you avoid them until there are no other options.

Mythbusters suck at building fires, that's all. They had a hard time with flint & steel, too if I remember.  Really, it's shit I did at the age of 12 as does anyone whose ever been in Boy Scouts for longer than a few weeks.

Les on Survivorman went over exactly how you need to do it the other day.  It's time consuming and ALL of the skill comes in at keeping that smoke in your tinder going and building it up to a flame. The powerdrill does nothing but generate the friction, which is the easy (albeit labor intensive) part.


Yes. They even say in the show's opening credits that it's him with a camera crew.  It's edutainment, it's not supposed to be serious information.  It's kind of like bitching that Dogfights glosses over a lot of shit and doesn't really teach you anything.

GuysGuysGuysGuysGuysGuysGuysGuysGuysGuysGuysGuys

Top Chef.

I don't have any hate for Bear Grylls -- I think the dude is the shit -- but Survivorman is the better show imo.

You know? That's just funny as hell right there. Maybe we could do a reality series based on the follow up episodes: Man vs. Dysentry.

Dude what the hell are you talking about?  He always says in the show that he's got a camera crew following him.  I hope you're joking with the over the top rage at Bear Grylls.  I mean Christ, it's one of the best shows on TV.  Survivor Man is clearly better, because that dude carries his own camera equipment and is really alone.  But Bear Grylls is a fucking animal right down to his name.  We're talking about a guy who jumps into quicksand just to show people how to get out.  A guy who intentionally broke through a hole in the ice so he would fall in, just to show people how to escape, and then avoid hypothermia.  This dude has eaten sheep's eyeballs, maggots, and quenches his thirst with his own urine if need be.  He rode the fucking Amazon River rapids holding on to a log. 


And the raw salmon he ate was in Alaska.  Ever heard of sushi?  I think Alaskan rivers are pretty kosher dude, I don't know, I'm not an expert or anything.  Just a hunch.  Basically you just called your whole life into question.  You can't seriously make a claim that he's anything but a real ass dude.

He didn't boil water in that episode.  So it's not that funny.  But let's say he did for giggles.  Then we could all realize the premise of the show is survival techniques in the wild, and we could all take a deep breath and let our assholes unpucker.

Yep.  You've gotta respect a dude who'll squeeze a hunk of elephant shit to drink the water contained in it.  I might do it if I were actually in a survival situation, but when you've got a camera crew following you and you know you're in zero danger?  That takes some stones.

If you don't think it's possible for a professional to start a friction fire without flint and steel then you're crazy, and survival shows probably aren't for you anyway.

Salmon is edible raw because it's a saltwater fish that occasionally passes through a freshwater river, not because any given river is pure.  Any fish that spends all of its time in freshwater must be cooked if the person doing the eating doesn't want a shot at collecting some parasites.

Sadly, given that the real key to staying alive if you wind up fucked and in the middle of nowhere is to stay calm and not take any risks, any show that tries to make wilderness survival look exciting is imparting the exact opposite advice.  When something as simple as falling in a creek can have you dead of hypothermia in your wet clothes, trying to earn points for being cool is remarkably unwise.  Stay put and wait to be found; you can live for a few days without food or water, but you can't live if you pick the wrong thing to eat or drink.  Better to be found half-dead of starvation after a week than all-dead of eating the wrong mushroom 'cause you thought you were nature man.  If you somehow manage to be well and truly screwed with no hope at all of rescue, sure, try some My Side of the Mountain stuff, might get lucky.  But otherwise, your odds are improved much more by a rescue team looking for you than by eating grubs.

Nobody is watching the show because they want a primer on wilderness survival bro.  People watch it because they want to see Bear be one of the most awesome people ever.  And if you actually watched the show, you'd know Bear generally steers clear of mushrooms because of the exact risk you just mentioned.  If he wants dinner he usually does something manly like find a stick and throw it at a rabbit's skull.


Edit:  I can't even fucking believe you just tried to scold Man vs. Wild with a stern admonition against leading impressionable young viewers astray from the correct survival protocol.  What in God's name have you done with your balls?

Dude.  TV Is Not Real.

Anyway, as stated the show states he has a camera crew with him at the start of every show.  It's also apparently false that he only uses his crew for "emergencies", but whatever.  It's entertaining, and he is a real survivalist.  He climed fucking Everest.  Close enough.

I have a stern admonition against leading people astray from the correct survival protocol because too many people are fucking retarded about it as it is.  I think it was about six months ago when some idiot boy scout decided he didn't like camping, was going to hitchhike fifty miles to home, grabbed a can of Pringles and set off in a random direction in the middle of the mountains.  I was sad that they found him alive.  You'll hear people with straight faces telling old-wives shit like 'moss only grows on the north side of trees' or 'running water always leads to a town'.

Back when I was a kid in the scouts, I went up to Maine in one of the two big scout camps, where you paddle your way around a huge lake for about fifty miles and camp on the various islands in it as you go.  The group I was with were primarily all eagle scouts (the highest rank, for anyone who doesn't know/care), while I was one of the lowest ranks.  The eagle scouts were a pack of morons.  They couldn't build a fire, didn't secure their packs to keep their gear dry, put their sleeping bags ON the fire to try to dry them out, had their food eaten by small red squirrels when they didn't store it right, and would've drank lake water unboiled if the guide hadn't stopped them.  Then, while one of them was trying to untie wet ropes from the canoe one afternoon, he got the brilliant idea to cut the knot, whereupon the knife slipped right off the wet knot and went into his thumb.  We then got to abort the whole thing and paddle like hell through an entire day to get this douchebag to the nearest place that an ambulance could access.

So, having seen firsthand the skills of people who had (in theory) been through real instruction on how not to die in the wilderness, I cry a little inside at the thought of what someone would do with nothing more than what they saw ol' Bear try to do on the Discovery channel.

Meh.

There is a quote I read somewhere from Bear Grylls that goes something like, "It's TELEVISION.  In a real survival situation you hunker down and don't move."

But whatever, continue on your crusade to save the stupid from themselves even though by your own stated experience the stupid will ALWAYS be stupid and are incapable of being saved.


Yeah.

Wrong episode, douchetorch.  I think it was in Costa Rica when he did that.

My problem is that the show is presented a certain way, like he's showing me something edutaining, but he forgets the edu- part and just does the -tainment.  Even if he didn't tell me that he has a camera crew, it's easy to spot and I find the whole execution combined with the premise to be patronizing.  I just can't trust the information he gives me when I know he sleeps in motels during shooting.

The show should be called Man Eats Wild, since that's really the main attraction there.  Side attractions are him pissing on himself and doing stupid shit just so he can show what a badass he is.

I'll give on the flint-fire part, the guy knows what he is doing.  I saw him start a fire without flint once, but with the cutaways and suspicion that his cameraman had a lighter, I have a hard time falling for it completely.  He made up for it by eating some grubs or something, but I keep thinking that if he's able to start fires so easily then why doesn't he cook his food more often?  WHY GOD, WHY?

If I ever meet Bear Grylls and he turns out to be a cool guy, I'll retract this, but if he wanted me to like him more then he would make a better effort with his television show.

I think your expectations are what's out of line.  What the hell does, "Even if he didn't tell me that he has a camera crew, it's easy to spot..." mean in the context of your rant?

That he should be hiding that he has a camera crew by pretending to be holding the camera in ever shot?  He has a crew with him, he states that in the show and, as you said, it's obvious.  The man stands in quciksand, shows you that struggling just gets you deeper and then proceeds to demonstrate to spread your body weight over the surface and get out.

What the hell else do you want him to do?  Die and be resurrected?

Just the first part.  Anyway, if I did not state it properly, my problem with the show is how it strikes me, the general execution and how the things he does irritate me.  I don't like it and it doesn't have much to do with logic or whatever you are using to argue with me.  He's telling me what I should do when I am stuck in the woods, then he proceeds to boil some water and eat a raw fish from the same stream.  I just don't like that.  I'm not questioning this guy's ability to forage or sleep between fires, I'm sure he's a badass if you want to use that scale, it's just that I don't believe what he's telling me and he is couching it as if it was true.

Check your own mental acumen if you honestly think a 30 minute video is going to help people survive.  If it were a strict educational vid, 1) no one would watch and 2) the one guy who it might've helped wouldn't remember what was on it after months/years.  The series is a lot of neat mcguyver stuff you *could* do if you were out there and knew the ropes, not what you should do.  Anyone who confuses the two 3) is likely to not fare well in the wild regardless.



The rage is hiding the sarcasm, but I hope it's there and that you're not honestly that big of a jackass.  He was 12.  What the fuck are you on about?

Here's an idea Yegs, turn the channel. For not liking the guy you sure know everything he's done in the past 2 years.

The show is very entertaining. Moreso than Survivorman. I DVR them both, and Survivorman has more parts where I wanna just fast forward, even though he is a real deal survivalist. So is Bear. Fuck it.

This thread is reminding me of the old Bob Villa vs. "A person that Actually knows How to use a Hammer" arguments of ten years ago.

Very funny stuff, please continue all of you.

HE DOESN'T FUCKING BOIL WATER AND EAT A RAW FISH FROM THE SAME STREAM YOU FUCKTARD.  WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS.  HE ATE A RAW FISH ONCE IN ALASKA.  HE DID NOT BOIL WATER IN THAT EPISODE.  THE END.

My pleasure.


Never!


*repeats what he said but louder*

That's even more disturbing when it appears that its Tom Cruise yelling at you (well, not me directly, but you all know what I mean).

Oh, and Sushi chefs always freeze fish before serving it for a reason.

All I know is you throw Bear and Les into a cage fight, Bear's gonna stomp a mudhole in Les

And then he'll drink his own piss just to show you how badass he is. Again.

I'm sorry you can't handle being called on your bullshit.  If you want to call Bear out, there's plenty of legit things to call him out on.  Like the time he drank his own pee.  Didn't anyone notice like the two unnecessary swigs he took?  I mean, he took two big gulps.  Then the next two only really wet his lips, like he just wanted to savor the taste.

This isn't about Bear anymore, it's about America. So stop this dalliance and pick a side!  WE'RE AT WAR.

I didn't see the episode where he drank his own piss, just the one where he pissed on his shirt and wrapped it around his head, as far as urine-based entertainment goes.  YOU MUST BE LYING!  I MUST USE ALL CAPS!  But good call, the man is a shock-entertainer and perhaps a lunatic.  Also note that he could be considered a terrist for wrapping his head up in a turban.

There was an episode where he boiled water in a can, using a fire he made all by himself, I swear to Norm Abrams.  It wasn't in Alaska, I didn't see the Alaska episode.  Pretty sure it was Costa Rica.  I don't want to have to find an episode guide for a show I hate just to prove one of us wrong.

As for Les, I will need to watch some Survivorman before I will put money on a fight.  I'm not saying Bear isn't a tough guy, despite the accent and mincing, and he looks like he's rather strong.  If the contest was who could eat the most disgusting things, I am sure Bear would win.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwTZ2xpQwpA

Are you saying Bear would eat that kid raw before retiring to the Motel Six?

From Bear's Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bear_Grylls

Grylls first entered the record books in 1997 by being the youngest Briton to summit Ama Dablam in the Himalayas, a peak famously described by Sir Edmund Hillary as "unclimbable".

Then in 1998, Grylls broke another record of becoming the youngest Briton, at 23, to summit Mount Everest. Both these achievements are made even more remarkable by the fact that a mere two years earlier he almost severed his spinal cord in a near fatal parachuting accident in Africa.[6]

On a recent interview with David Letterman (June 2007) Letterman calls him "The youngest Briton to summit Everest" and Bear corrects him by saying another man did it the following year but died on the way down, and regardless of his death it has become this man's record.

In 2000 Grylls led the first team to circumnavigate the UK on personal watercraft, to raise money for the Royal National Lifeboat Institution (RNLI) Lifeboats. Three years later he led a team of five British men on the first unassisted crossing of the north Atlantic Arctic Ocean, in an open rigid inflatable boat. The team was hampered by giant waves, icebergs and storms.

In 2005 Grylls led the first team ever to attempt to paramotor over the remote jungle plateaux of the Angel Falls in Venezuela. The team was attempting to reach the highest, most remote high tepuis, made famous by Conan Doyle's Lost World.

In 2007 Grylls broke a new world record by flying a petrol-powered paraglider over the Himalayas, higher than Mount Everest. He had to cope with temperatures of -60C and dangerously low oxygen levels to reach 29,500 feet, almost 10,000 feet higher than the previous record of 20,019 feet.[7] The expedition raised $1 million for the charity Global Angels. Grylls described the expedition, filmed for a 2 hour film for Discovery Channel worldwide as well as Channel 4 in the UK, as "the hairiest, most frightening thing" he had ever done.[8]





Les:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Les_Stroud

Lets just say he's a big ole hippy!

Oh, and is it just me or is Bear working just a little too hard on getting the "Sir" on his name ;)

But seriously, who would win in a fight?

Yeah, see, that's what I'm bitching about.  Next you'll be defending Mother Teresa.

Military
Grylls passed UK Special Forces Selection, serving as a Sabre soldier, trained in unarmed combat, desert and winter warfare, combat survival, medics, parachuting, signals, evasive driving, climbing and explosives.

He served for 3 years in 21 SAS, one of two Territorial Army regiments in the Special Air Service referred to as the "SAS(R)". 21 SAS specializes in Close Target Reconnaissance and attack(CTR). During his time with 21 SAS Grylls served actively in North Africa twice. His military career ended abruptly, however, in 1996, when a routine parachute exercise in southern Africa went wrong[citation needed]. His canopy ripped severely and caused him to spiral towards earth from 16,000ft at twice the normal speed, leaving him with three broken vertebrae and left him struggling to feel his legs.[1] Grylls spent the next 12 months in rehabilitation and, with his military career over, directed his efforts into trying to get well enough to fulfill his childhood dream of climbing Everest.

Grylls no longer serves in the British Special Forces but he was awarded the honorary rank of Lieutenant Commander in the UK's Royal Naval Reserve.[2]





Too bad you cant outrun em Les!!!

Don't forget Bear's Motivational Speaker skills.  He has +1 to bullshit.  Les is just too fucking real.

Biography
After graduating from Mimico High School in 1980,[3] Stroud went on to complete the Music Industry Arts program at Fanshawe College in London, Ontario.[4] Stroud worked for several years at the Toronto-based music video channel MuchMusic, and as a songwriter for his band New Regime before a Temagami canoe trip sparked a career change.[1] In 1987 Stroud became a guide for Black Feather Wilderness Adventures leading canoe excursions into the northern Ontario wilds. It was during this time on a survival course he met his wife, photographer Sue Jamison.[2] They married in 1994 and together left for a year-long honeymoon in the remote Wabakimi area of Ontario which was to become the basis of the documentary Snowshoes and Solitude. Afterwards, Stroud and Jamison settled in Huntsville, Ontario, and started the outdoor instructional outfit Wilderness Voice and the media company Wilderness Spirit Productions.[4] Inspired by the popularity of the television show Survivor, Stroud pitched a more authentic version of the show to The Discovery Channel Canada. Stroud produced two programs titled One Week in the Wilderness and Winter in the Wilderness for @discovery.ca in 2001.[5] The success of these specials led to the development of his current show Survivorman which follows a similar format, leaving Stroud on his own, with minimal equipment, in the wilderness to film his survival experience.

Stroud has extensive experience with survival and primitive living skills initially training with experts Gino Ferri and David Arama.[6][7] He went on to study with many others including at Prairie Wolf.

Stroud has been an active participant in adventure racing and has competed at the Canadian championships.[6]



Les has a course on Hippy Lifestyle 101

(my parents were hippies and i was kind of a young version of one, I just like throwing the term around)

So, you're saying in a "make a survival TV show" fight, Les would win?

Actually, I thought I read that Les (Suriverman) has a safety crew hanging around just in case. They stay out of the shots and aren't interative with him at all (whereas Grylls interacts with his crew all the time -- they're just not supposed to help), but they are there.

Discovery is re-editing some old episodes of MvW to point out where Grylls did things like wore a life-jacket in heavy rapids or had a climbing harness in case of falls. They didn't make it clear at the time, but it never occured to me that it wasn't done.

I suspect a few of the encounters are at least marginally staged (it's hard to tell -- out of, say, 4 days of footage you're going to have plenty of interesting moments. But on the other hand, what if one thing you DO want to show is "How to handle quicksand" or "How to cook sheep using hot springs", that there's going to be someone looking for hot springs, quicksand, or dead sheep....).

If nothing else, Bear is clean-shaven throughout the whole show. So he's obviously being handed a razor. :) I've seen stills of him talking to his camera crew (one from Ecuador was pretty cool -- Grylls is in his regular clothes, and the cameraman is encased from head to toe in protective clothing -- including mosquito netting). Of course, that was the espiode where Grylls got sick as shit from bad water.

Yegolev: I wouldn't rag on him for being a motivational speaker. The man broke his back, then went on to Climb Everest. He seems constantly optimistic, does a lot of charity work, and really loves the outdoors. If I'm going to have to sit through an inspirational speech, I'd rather it be from someone like him. He's at least overcome adversity and done challenging shit in life.

Like I said, I'm willing to change my mind after I meet him.  Maybe he's a cool guy but he seems more like a politician's son out to promote himself.  I promise I won't attack him on sight.

The way Les explains it on his show, is that they have a safety crew that will come find him after 7 days. The recent one I saw when he was at sea on a life raft, they had a safety boat usually within visual (or high powered VHF radio) range.

Guess it all depends on the circumstances.

Honestly, the more I think about it...I do like Bear Survival over Les. Les gets all hippy and is like "oh you should never kill shit, but im surviving" and Bear is just like... "Damn, can a nigga get some squirrel meat ?"

Entertainment value goes to Bear, true Survivalism goes to Les.

Sounds like you are agreeing with me on the technical aspects of this discussion.  HEY LOOK DUSE!  HE'S ON MY SIDE AND I'M USING ALL CAPS AGAIN!

I dunno. Les just seems to sit there and wait a lot, or gets lazy about getting out. Bear has a much more "I'm getting myself out" attitude. On the one hand -- that's not what you really need to do unless where you are isn't surviveable. On the other hand, it's a hell of a lot more fun to watch Bear and if you're going to try to walk out -- his is the way to do it.

It was interesting reading a friend of mine's Air Force survival booklet (talks about shelters, how to navigate without a compass, how to create fire, etc) and seeing virtually everything Bear talks about that isn't local (and the local stuff is obviously from the local survival guide they credit).

But Bear still is a survivin' mother fucka

Wow you really can't handle being this wrong can you?  A bigger man would just admit he didn't know what the hell he was talking about, and then thank me for educating him.

Hell, it's worth it just to watch him climb stuff. He's not a small man, and watching him climb is amazing. He doesn't do anything too technically difficult, but he's very smooth and obviously very practiced. He makes it look effortless. Of course, watching him demonstrate that self-arrest procedure in the Alps was crazy shit. (As was jumping into the ice lake later). You could seem him visibly psyching himself up to do both.

Also, his accent cracks me up -- "Vitamin" and "disorientated" crack me up. "Glacier"t oo.

Yes yes....This is shaping up quite nicely.... :evil:

I'm not sure I understand the merits of the debate, I think it could use a chart.  :evil:

Yeg, are you honestly watching these shows for a firm education in what to do if you're stuck in Kenya/New Guinea/Alaska?  If so, why?  And frankly if that is your motivation there are these things called books that'll serve your purpose much better.

In the meantime I can either watch a Canadian musician/granola fanatic who largely sits in one place for days on end or a former SAS trooper climb shit and scavenge zebra meat.  No contest.

I was stuck in Kenya once.  I managed to get over the sheer horror of my predicament by having a stiff drink before hitting the tables at the casino.

If you want, I can give lessons on how to survive at a 4 star beach resort on the Indian ocean armed with nothing but a pair of swim trunks, some sun tan lotion and a room key.

Hint:  The room key is very important, it provides sustenance and shelter.

I don't think I ever saw the Survivorman guy nearly as pissing himself nervous as Bear was in the Everglades.  Either that, or Bear's a great actor at faking fear of crocodiles. (It was hilarious. I can't imagine how long it took him off camera to psych himself up to swim that little river. He was nervous as shit about the crocodiles).

Not that I blame him. Those things are fucking fast.

Want a survival hint if a crocodile is looking at you like you're dinner? Climb a fucking tree. They can outrun you, they can outswim you, but those damn things can't climb.

I am awesome, however I am not able to whip out a chart this close to end-of-business.  It would have at least one bar with letters on it that said "it waaaasn't the Aaaalaaaskaaa episooooode".  The legend at the bottom would contain the word "cocklips".

@ Big Gulp... no.  I would check into the Motel Six and stay there.  I'm not up for that stuff as recreation.  If I wanted to learn to survive in the woods, I wouldn't rush to the television.  Or internet.  I'd cast a suspicous eye toward books that weren't military issue.  In reality, I'm of the Murgos School of Survival.

No need to fear crocodiles in Florida.  The alligators are pretty rough, though.  I hear that they cannot zig-zag, so if my wife and I are ever pursued by one then we will find out.  She is the zig-zagger and I am the tree-climber.  I am also the stay-out-of-the fucking-waterer.

They hang out in the brush, too. Depends on how hot it is outside. Frankly, if you're within a mile or two of slow water, you should be watching.

And they can zig-zag -- or rather, they're flexible enough that they'll just keep going straight and snap their jaws around your legs as you attempt to zag. I believe they can clock in at about 40mph when they feel like moving. They are far, far, FAR faster than most people can possibly imagine.

No, I don't actually want the stupid kid to be dead.  But I am holding out hope that the rescue team will band together and collectively backhand some sense into him.  I make no claim of having been a paragon of wisdom at twelve, but I still knew better than to a: wander off into the wilderness with no more supplies than potato chips and expect to find a road, then b: hitchhike with a stranger in the hope of making it back home, fifty miles away.

Saw one on a golf course once, soaking up the sun.  I was like "Just leave that ball!" but the girl was intent on getting it.  Not my wife, though, she would have sent me after it.  But yeah, when they want to they can lift up off the ground and haul ass.  Best to avoid Florida as a whole, really.  I saw how scared Bear was, but in my opinion he wasn't scared enough if he was really doing what he appeared to be doing in the Everglades.  Pretty entertaining, though.

You know what would make me like the show?  Adding pop-ups like from Pop-Up Video that give some facts as to what is going on and in particular the hidden details they didn't want to show.  I need more exposition.

Hell, they should just do a "Making of" episode. They have all the footage (including still frames -- I've seen some) and all they need is some voice over work and studio interviews with the Bear and the crew.

I am happy that someone understands what I am complaining about.  Did you know that I have a complex when it comes to being misunderstood?

I feel at peace with this topic now.

Reminds me of a joke I heard.  Truly once of the most awful jokes I've ever heard, so I absolutely must share it.

A pedophile and a 12 year old walk into the wilderness.  The 12 year old says, "Boy, it sure is scary in these dark woods!" and the pedophile reply's, "You're scared?  I have to walk out of here alone!"

 :rimshot:

LOL.  Nice. 

Anyone see the last Survivorman in the Kalahari

WTF did he prove? That he was a dead man?

That the Kalahari is a death trap.  Sort of like the thing with Polar Bears, if you don't have x, y, and z before you begin, Jesus couldn't survive.  He made it to day 6 though.

I though he did pretty good given the situation. I think that if he had not run into that Inuit guy he would have been in some shit. But that just proves that he really was in a survival situation, and survived 6 days in a freaking deathtrap and made it out. A little luck and a shit load of skill.

Dude do you hate Mythbusters too?

Mythbusters is right in that, yes, crocs and alligators prefer to ambush you in the water. What they're wrong in is that crocodiles and alligators WILL chase you on land if they feel like it.

The issue at hand is "can you outrun a crocodile" and the general consensus is "No, but you can outclimb one".

Is it just me, or does anyone else think that Werner Herzog is watching Bear's career with morbid fascination?







_{And really, Man vs. Wild is just Jackass does Survivorman...}

If by 'made it out' you mean he was taken away by helicoptor once his water ran out, then ok.

I'm not saying there is much he could have done better, but hell...he had like 5 days of water. He made it 6. He caught a few scorps and made a scorp-ka-bob (which kicked ass) and didn't get bit. I was just...underwhelmed overall by the episode.

He had four gallons, so about four days worth of water.  That's about right as he ran out on day 4, and went two more days getting water on his own.  I agree that it wasn't a very good episode though - mostly it was "I need to not move, to conserve water".  True, but dull. 

I've been about five feet from alligators on the Hillsborough River while kayaking. They won't fuck with you if you don't fuck with them. The whole idea of OMGALLIGATORWTFWEWILLDIE!!!sin(0)! is silly in and of itself.

Man I think that I would have a hard time being cool as ice around an alligator. I don't think I would Run and freak out, but I certainly would be pretty spooked. SO I could see the whole, "stay the hell out of alligator infested water" as a pretty good way to look at things. I tend to not put myself into situations that could quickly and easily get out of control and dangerous.

It only takes 1 ill-tempered one to fuck your entire day up.

Every single golf course in south Florida is infested with wild alligators.  If you've ever watched one haul itself up out of the water you would realize that when it's on land it's taking a break.

Unless you piss it off.

Now me? I stay away from alligators, they stay away from me.

But let's face it -- some people try to pet wild buffalo. People are stupid.

I don't know what you guys are talking about, Bear is hardcore-

Bear (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UpSlpvb1is)

I think Mythbusters is great, but if I do have a small problem it would just be that they are tackling some bigger items than what can be done with their time/budget/knowhow.  Still a great show and I'd love to do that stuff.  Incidentally, the fire-starting episode was a good example of this.  I am pretty sure people can start fires, but they were just doing it wrong.  I'm going to give it a shot myself, hopefully before the summer ends.

I've started fires using the stick and groove method.  It's a pain in the ass and the wood does have to be just right (very dry) but it's doable.  You have to put your back into it.

I did, once, when I was a kid. It's a huge pain in the ass and I hope to never do it again.

Both Survivorman and Bear have started fires with the stick-and-groove method. Both complained about how much it sucked. :)

I have been told it is difficult but considering everything I have said in this thread, I should give it a go.

One nice thing about being a smoker....If i'm ever stranded in the wilderness I will have flame. And a reserve pack of matches....so that method can kiss my soon to be lung-cancer-having-ass

You can carry a lighter without giving yourself lung cancer.  Just saying.

The biggest travety about that episode was that he brought fucking peanut butter and jelly with him.  Unacceptable.

Hey, I finally watched Survivorman.  The Kalahari episode, too.  I like Les and his show a great deal.  The man suffers for this art.