f13.net

60% (http://mingle2.com/zombie-quiz)

Remember, there are no loved ones or morals when the zombies come.

Oh, and for more fun, What B-movie badass are you? (http://www.quizilla.com/users/grittynoir/quizzes/Which%20B-Movie%20Badass%20Are%20You?/) I'm Seth Gecko (dusk till dawn)

56%, but that quiz doesn't take some important factors into account and hoses you for not being in a country with firearms in your fruitbasket.

I really wish I could get through the websense shit to do that zombie quiz.

54%, but I should get a bonus for being friends with a mall cop with a sword collection.

41%
I'm dead :)

Of course you are, the ammo clips on your avatar are in totally the wrong place.

57% - I'm sure it's because I don't own a gun and hate running.

...and I'm Jack Burton (Pork Chop Express).

84%

Don't own a gun (although all my neighbours seem to!) but I do live in the country and this boy can run.

you totally have an einsturzende neubauten avatar. you'd scare the zombies away with your music.

53%. Those odds are better then nothing, but they still scare me.

I did the B-movie quiz, but my content filter blocked the picture, so I don't know who I am. ;p

19%.  That sucks.  I'm also Jack Burton.

I was Ash.  This surprised me not a bit.

Only 36%, thats completely bogus! I read the Zombie Survival guide, and it says my daily bicycle training gives me all the advantage I need to escape!

I was Ash. This suprises me a lot.

67% -- I lost points for not owning a gun.

I was Ash.

61 percent, Seth Gecko

I hve a 71% chance of survival.  My willingess to tell everyone to fuck off, cache of weapons and keen tactical sense seem to have kept me alive until the lasst 1/3 of the movie... where I run out of food and go down while munching on a can of creamed corn, too out of shape to run from the zombie horde.

I'm also Ash. Changing one answer (Poker.. ) I was Jack Burton.

Er, ok.

The running question is totally bogus.  I have guns, ammo, a chainsaw, plenty of sharp things and lots of big hammers, and napalm is plenty easy to make.  Who the hell needs to actually *run*?

commotion brings other zombies, and avoidance is better than a last stand whenever possible.

Last stand for who?  I ain't stopping the shooting 'til the wall of re-dead corpses is too high for their uncoordinated asses to shamble over.

Then I'm going to take up smoking and light up a Marlboro.

57%, mostly due to trying to save my family, despite picking "shoot them dead if they are a zombie".  I know what to do to save my own ass, I just can't be counted on doing it.

43% zombie survival.  Urban area, no guns, not a lot of food in the house, not a great runner... yeah, I'm zombie food.   :|

And I got Ash, despite mostly avoiding the obvious Ash answers.

61%. No guns in the house right now, just melee weaponry.

Buckaroo Bonzai. Big Boo-tay.

32% for me.

As for B-movie BadAss: I'm Ash. Thank God.

I think the real question is what are our chances of surviving a zombie signe attack?

I think ZERO.

69%! I can run like a mother fucker and it's all ME ME ME.

71%. Ash.

61%

And I got Ash.

Mainly cause I tried to avoid answering ALL of the obvious Jack Burton references.

Yea, it really was Jack Burton heavy.

I wouldn't want to eat your brain.  The only brain around here I want to eat is my own!   :x

55% - Clearly I need to be taking zombie survival lessons from some of you.

(http://images.quizilla.com/G/grittynoir/1039062163_ash.jpg)

59% and Gecko.

51%, and I'm Ash.

Then, I changed a few things and I'm Godzilla. I just want to eat people, ok?

27%
Seth Gecko

I think my real chances are higher though 'cause I'm awesome.

59%
I had a lot of flailing arms, no person.

77%. Coming from a military family really helps with that being armed and skilled with weapons thing.

60% here.  Living in a major metro area and not owning any guns hoses me, despite knowing what to do with them and not giving a shit about what happens to anyone around me who may be zombie food.  I was Ash too, and I tried to be honest as I had no idea what most of those references were from besides the obvious Dusk 'Til Dawn and Jack Burton ones.

60% and Seth Gecko

Har!

I'm the only Buckaroo!  :-D

I figure it's the guitar, and that you are trying to fuck with the vampires' minds.  I got Ash, naturally.

Yes, and yes. I'd be the guy with my zombie buddy in the shed playing xbox.

When I saw guitar, the first thing I thought of was Wild Zero (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wild_Zero).

75%

41%, apparently I'm zombie food.

On the bright side I'm also Godzilla, I figure that should up my chances a bit. If not, hey, Zombie Godzilla!

42%, probably because I don't own a gun. I'm also Seth Gecko, which kicks ass.

23%

I am limping right now - gym injury - taking this fucking test again in 2 weeks when I am better!

Whatever, zombie food. It'll probably be too late by then.

Blame your MP's for depriving you of the ability to survive the zombie holocaust/soccer hooligans/drunk teenagers.

Er, no.  My point was that the QUIZ makes out I'm wormfood.  In truth, I have my castle picked and already have 3 medaeval weapons lying around my house and in my garage that will do me just fine.

Further, being on an Island, I am already one step ahead of the chain swarm that will devour you.  If this Island becomes packed, I'm off to either Skye, Arran or possible Islay.  There's good drink at all 3.

 :-D

Pffft.  Chain swarm.  I'm from Detroit, how bad can zombies be?

Eurotunnel = zombies' path to munchy town :p

Unless it's an island surrounded by lava, I don't think it's going to slow them down much.

If sheep can become zombies, Ironwood is rightly fucked.

Why? They can't bite you when you're behind them.

(http://barros.rusf.ru/films/posters/black_sheep_2007_teaser.jpg)

You do realize this is just helping Signe decide who to eat first....

The quiz is flawed.  It doesn't take into account personal habits that may draw or repel the zombies.  For instance, I've been forced to watch some reality television lately.  Undoubtedly, my brain is much smaller and less appetizing, and as a result I'd be ignored in favor of someone who watches Spongebob.

This is true. An island just means you have nowhere to run when the undead horde comes shambling out of the surf.

If I were, in fact, a zombie... WHICH I'M NOT... I would have already decided to eat the person who started all this asinine zombie stuff.  Who would THAT be, then? 

(http://www.celebritiesfans.com/Pic/georgelucas.jpg)

?

Many theorists disagree on this matter.  It seems to matter what specific zombie type we're talking about.  As well as what kind of defenses you're putting up in your Island.

One thing is certain.  Zack don't Surf.

I'm pretty sure it was Teleku...

Tangently related, but I like how zombie movies/games/etc are trying to take a "realistic" lean with the idea by making all zombies people with a bizzaro world version of rabies. Yeah, rabies makes you go nuts if untreated, but it doesn't give you the ability to magically tell who does and doesn't have it and make you want to eat those particular people who don't.

Mmmm-hmmm. Sounds like the sort of thing a zombie would say.

Resident Evil 4 Zombies were awesome.

(http://image.com.com/gamespot/images/2005/006/reviews/535840_20050107_screen019.jpg)

I had a bet with myself that someone would object.  I coulda put an accumulator on that it would have been you.

:D

They're zombies.  Oh, and 28 days later ?  Zombies.  However, it's always a good point raised :  How do these non-zombies know not to attack each other ?  I never understood in 28 days later why Rage Infected Nutjobs weren't just going at each other till oblivion.  It made little or not sense.  (Yeah, yeah, I know, zombies didn't make any sense either.  Sue me.)

Because it was a very silly, plot-hole ridden film that borrowed and stole from loads of others. 

Good zombie movies are not about the zombies.

56%ers unite! Same here, I won't own a gun even though it is legal in the states. Those things hurt more than they protect imho.

Maybe the RIN's taste bad or something?

Indeed.  Especially since the film is such an out-and-out critique of the situation in Iraq.  One set of Zombies should have been offended that the other lot ate their victims' eyes before the tongue, and would have started killing them.  The eye-lovers would have responded by kidnapping individual tongue eaters and partially eating them in groups of 20 and leaving their remains to be found by their Rage-Infested Neighbour Zombies.

Another lot, in the north of the country, would have settled down to running a stable Zombietocracy, and would rather optimistically offer adventure holiday flights for tourists into Middlesborough.  In time, it would transpire that 20 or so zombies had stockpiled most of the brains and were siphoning them off to Switzerland.

What ?

But if it did, I bet there would be some very dramatic consequences.  Apocalyptic, even.

Hey, someone should make a movie about that!

Which bit did you not get?  I mean, you did catch the whole Iraq thing in the film?  It was pretty blatant.

I missed the Iraq thing too.  I saw lots of mankind-treats-mankind-like-shit, but honestly the movie stank so much I could be way off.

I was beginning to worry that I was reading too much into it, but a quick google suggests that I am not (http://filmfreakcentral.net/screenreviews/28weekslater.htm) a unique (http://www.nowpublic.com/28_weeks_later_parodies_the_iraq_war_effort_in_london_with_zombies) little (http://www.boxofficeprophets.com/column/index.cfm?columnID=10053) snowflake (http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/tol/arts_and_entertainment/film/film_reviews/article1768037.ece) after all ("The parable to America in Iraq is ham handed and obvious" as one says (http://www.comicbookbin.com/28weekslater001.html))

Are you talking about the first movie or the second?  They had radically different underlying themes IMO, which I found interesting.  The second movie was the one with all the Iraq parallels; it didn't have nearly as much Lord of the Flies.

In the first movie, the protagonists ended up surviving because they defied the "military" (or what was left of it) and watched out for each other.  In the second movie (spoilers the protagonists doomed the world by disobeying orders, generally because they thought they were serving a greater good and knew better than their superiors.  The kids going out of bounds, the scientist seeking a cure, the father misusing his access, the sniper holding his fire, the pilot carrying out his friend's last wishes, the girl protecting her brother... any one of those things not happening would have prevented the movie's grim conclusion.)

28 Days Later was about Iraq ?  I Repeat :  What ?

Ahhhh, I get it now.  He's babbling about 28 Weeks Later, which I haven't seen yet.  Jesus, I thought I was going crazy not seeing an Iraq in the first one. 

Ah yes, I was talking - or babbling, if you you find that helpful - about 28 Weeks Later.  I'd just seen it so, since it was in the forefront of my mind, I somehow assumed that everyone else would make the leap automagically, too.

Thankfully I wasn't the only going wtf.  I haven't seen the second either.

(Also the spoiler stands out on the grey background in your quote, Ironwood.)

It's standing out in my post too, which is weird because it was on a black background when I posted it.  I guess it's still hard enough to read that you're not likely to wreck the movie for yourself by glancing past it.

We need a proper "spoiler tag" around here.   :-P

We do.  It's called 1pt font. :-D

I hate having to copy and paste to read a post.  It breaks the rhythm.  But you're right so I went back and made my post 1pt anyway.   :-P

Then just use the quote button to see what they typed, Sam.  (I took your wise away)

Ah.  Weeks.  Good effort there, but the problem is that I have seen 28 Days Later and therefore will be avoiding 28 Weeks Later like... well like an Iraqi zombie, I guess.  Luckily for me, I don't need a movie to tell me how I should feel about US foreign policy.

I thought it was more bethering than babbling myself. I think that the problem is that virtually nobody here has seen the second film. Its still in cinemas and whatnot, right? I'm personally not going to watch it until its a freebie on some non-subscription cable channel. And your one line review cements my decision. :P

The movie bounced along over so many plot-holes that I was too distracted to pick up on any "Iraq" bits.  And not enough zombie violence.

That, and I spent most of the movie staring at (the unfortunately-named) Imogen Poots' eyes.  (No, that's not a euphemism for "boobs")

Glad to see France get it, though.

Blethering: perfect.

And I'm probably not the best reviewer, since I'm not a huge fan of most zombie movies, but I'd certainly not recommend taking the time to go and see it at the cinema.  There are a few good bits in it, but that's the best I could say.   Not a terrible movie in the way that Pirates 3 is, but still meh.

I totally agree, however, with whoever said that the film could have been largely turned around by having Robert Carlisle kill a zombie by throwing a pint glass over his shoulder off a balcony.

"Someone fucking glassed that Zombie and no cunts leaving till we find out who."

I had to do a double take at the headline on the BBC Technology News page (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/default.stm) today.  It reads:


EDIT

(http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1412/551624220_c971480a27_o.jpg)

It's a lot harder than fighting Zombie Whores.

zomg they found signe!

I am NOT a horde!

So, you're conceding the zombie bit?

Maybe a zombie hoard?

Pass the dutchie to the left hand side!

I can seed nothing!

My wife and I thoght the same thing, then we got pregnant 4 years later.

Both of you ?  That's unfortunate.

And, I thought, impossible.

You thought her insides were a rocky place where your seed could find no purchase?

81% Guns and living in a rual area helped a lot.

Seth here as well

I have an 89% chance, apparently.  I think having a silenced, scoped firearm in a country without guns should count double, but at the same time, I'm not sure that .22 long rifles are much use against the shuffling zombie masses.  Maybe I'm supposed to use my rifle to shoot someone with a shotgun, then steal that.

I think it was the last vestiges of concern for my loved ones and family that are endangering me.  I must scorch my heart, lest I am taken.

I figure the chances of finding a new weapon, some ammo, or a powerup with an objective like finding your family is pretty high so you shouldn't get penalised for going to find them. Hell, it might even be impossible to survive the apocalypse until you find out what happened to them.