Emails from an Asshole

[IainC]

Back on the original topic the guy who did the spider gif has some pretty funny email exchanges on his blog.

[voodoolily]

Back on the original topic the guy who did the spider gif has some pretty funny email exchanges on his blog.

A Baby's Smile is kinda funny.

[01101010]

Along the theme of the thread... this made me laugh.

[IainC]

Along the theme of the thread... this made me laugh.

That's the guy in my link two posts up.

[lamaros]

The emails to the guy having a housewarming party are also amusing.

[01101010]

Along the theme of the thread... this made me laugh.

That's the guy in my link two posts up.

ah shit. I dropped the ball. Sometimes I miss the links. Sry.

[Arthur_Parker]

Back on the original topic the guy who did the spider gif has some pretty funny email exchanges on his blog.

From the same blog, I liked this.

Nowhere in the Bible does Jesus have a sword fight.

[Draegan]

lol

[LK]

Holy crap did he ever nail that guy. The best part is when he pointed out how he was breaking the law calling himself a chaplain, and then it all fell apart.

[Segoris]

That was pure awesome.

[Samwise]

I lost it at the cactus wearing a hat.  Genius.

[Arthur_Parker]

It looks like a dog with a blanket on it. I'm not going to waste anyones time sending an officer out to check that.

[lamaros]

I checked with Carol at the mini golf hut and no pants were found on the fence. I doubt any of that really happened. That looks like a dog with a blanket on it. I'm not going to waste anyones time sending an officer out to check that.

Yes!

[Nerf]

I checked with Carol at the mini golf hut and no pants were found on the fence. I doubt any of that really happened. That looks like a dog with a blanket on it. I'm not going to waste anyones time sending an officer out to check that.

Yes!

I preferred this bit:

[Segoris]

I checked with Carol at the mini golf hut and no pants were found on the fence. I doubt any of that really happened. That looks like a dog with a blanket on it. I'm not going to waste anyones time sending an officer out to check that.

Yes!

That quote was awesome, but with the accompanying picture it went from awesome to 


Here's something for the cat thread:

Due to the abundant supply of cats in the area, I'm surprised bears bother with the trash at all. As I have run over at least four cats this week and one of those did not put up much of a chase

[schild]

Preferred the foggot one prior ( http://www.27bslash6.com/foggot.html ). Though, it felt fake.

[Khaldun]

It did a bit but then I thought about some forums I've read while trawling through online sewers of various kinds, and, well, there are at least some people out there who are really like that.

[Lantyssa]

I read it and it had me in stitches.  The end was simple but beautiful.

[Paelos]

I love the dog in the coat in the car. That had my rolling.

[Cadaverine]

I think I've ruptured something.   

[Abagadro]

others prefer the company of a woman two KFC family buckets away from upsetting the planet's rotational axis.

Dude is awesome.

[squirrel]

Also, while I was able to persuade the bear to exit my vehicle by pretending to be an old lady looking for her cat, it is now inside my premises.

Oh dear - I'm laughing so hard I hurt.

[Arthur_Parker]

I am sick to death of dealing with you designers. Being able to draw and dressing like women doesn't make you special

The Jumping Frog charge relates to an event early on in my career when I made the mistake of offering a client a fixed price for a two hundred page website. Once the design was signed off and the build completed over a three month period, the client requested that each page include a frog jumping around the screen because his wife liked frogs. Purchasing a frog from the local pet store and filming it by holding a camera above and a cigarette lighter behind to persuade it to jump, I spent the next two weeks incorporating it into every page of the website. A few days later, the client described the addition as "very annoying" and requested it be removed and replaced with a 3D animated frog jumping onto the screen, holding a thumb up, and speaking the words "jump on down and grab a bargain." After providing a quote for this, I was informed that the amendments would be made "under the original fixed price or no payment would be made at all." The next day, their home page was replaced with a single image of a frog giving the finger and a voice bubble stating "I jump for cash, bitch."

Another one, not sure if his date order is messed up or what on the homepage.

[Sand]

I just spent the last 4 hours of work time devoted to nothing but reading that guy's blog.
He is a genius.

[Sky]

Love that site. Catching up on some of the new ones, I like when he puts "tarded" or "dneck" as the subject for his emails.

[Ironwood]

Oh God, the Chatroulette one.  I can't breathe.

[NowhereMan]

"You can't trust girls. When I get a girlfriend I am not going to tell her where I live or work."

His son is very advanced.

[stu]

Haha He sent the Christmas CD to his former boss from a couple posts up.

Wow. More proof that you really are a complete dickhead. A whole cd of you humming? I hope you sank a lot of money into this and starve to death.
 Robert Schaefer , Managing Director

[Arthur_Parker]

"YOU HAVE TO DO YOUR TIMESHEETS. EVERYONE DOES."

10am
Arrived at work. Answered the phone on Simon's desk with "Hello, this is Simon Dempsey speaking. How may I be of help to you?" Told client I would have a pdf to them "as quick as a cheetah."

10.30am
Accessed Simon’s computer using his secret password ‘Archmage’ in order to locate and send requested pdf to client. Sent. Read Simon's emails. Replied to his mother regarding her question about what to get Auntie Maureen for her birthday. Recommended jumping castle.

11.30am
Attempted to log into Simon's Facebook. Clicked 'send me my password'. Checked Simon's email. Logged into Simon's Facebook.

Changed status to single. Sent Karen a message saying "Ignore the status change. We haven't broken up. I just don't want anyone to know I have a girlfriend."

Looked at pictures Simon uploaded of himself in a boat. Googled the names of the two guys in Miami Vice. Tagged Simon's nipples 'Sony' and 'Chubbs'.

4pm
Left for the day.

[Cyrrex]

What's with the influx of gold selling idiots today?  That said, I like the snarky attitude of this particular one.

[Murgos]

This one is interesting.  It seems to be the result of a web search hit on stuff in this thread and then posting a random sentence from those results.

This particular phrase gets one hit, a response to David Thorne's Humming Album.  David Thorne is pretty much the inventor of the 'stupid email chain' thing that this thread is about.

So, clever, but not quite there yet.

[01101010]

What's with the influx of gold selling idiots today?  That said, I like the snarky attitude of this particular one.

They are adapting... Skynet is evolving.

[Nerf]

"YOU HAVE TO DO YOUR TIMESHEETS. EVERYONE DOES."

10am
Arrived at work. Answered the phone on Simon's desk with "Hello, this is Simon Dempsey speaking. How may I be of help to you?" Told client I would have a pdf to them "as quick as a cheetah."

10.30am
Accessed Simon’s computer using his secret password ‘Archmage’ in order to locate and send requested pdf to client. Sent. Read Simon's emails. Replied to his mother regarding her question about what to get Auntie Maureen for her birthday. Recommended jumping castle.

11.30am
Attempted to log into Simon's Facebook. Clicked 'send me my password'. Checked Simon's email. Logged into Simon's Facebook.

Changed status to single. Sent Karen a message saying "Ignore the status change. We haven't broken up. I just don't want anyone to know I have a girlfriend."

Looked at pictures Simon uploaded of himself in a boat. Googled the names of the two guys in Miami Vice. Tagged Simon's nipples 'Sony' and 'Chubbs'.

4pm
Left for the day.

Holy fuck, Arthur is posting from THE FUTURE.
Can you tell me if I ever found enough time to actually configure my new CMMS software?

[ghost]

This is perfect.

Hilarity ensues......