Little bees

[Nerf]

I can only hope that someday, someone makes a comic about me killing corpmates.

[Phildo]

You'd have to be able to kill us first.

[Nerf]

Hmm, I think I know who my first kill is going to be!   

[Phildo]

I agree.  Bhodi has to die!

[Simond]

"My XXXXX Backbone!" an ironic comment lamenting something supposedly critically important that is lost (generally not that important). It's become a catchphrase - "My Capital backbone! My ECM backbone! My moon mining backbone!" etc.

IIRC, it's a reference to when BoB invaded Syndicate for a fortnight - part of their "Mission Accomplished!" post on EVE-O was something about destroying Goonfleet's industrial backbone. Naturally, this then got ran into the ground by Goonfleet. 

[bhodi]

IIRC, it's a reference to when BoB invaded Syndicate for a fortnight - part of their "Mission Accomplished!" post on EVE-O was something about destroying Goonfleet's industrial backbone. Naturally, this then got ran into the ground by Goonfleet. 

That makes sense. I looked and looked but couldn't find the origin of it.

Also, to kill me, you're going to have to FIND me. I fly a covops, remember? :)


Daddy drinks sometimes, but he only pods us because he loves us.

GF Member: You know guys i petitioned my loss and i got my stuff back you should get stuff ba...
Tolon: SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU STUPID FUCK SHUT THE FUCK UP
GF Member: cause its really ea...
Tolon: GOD YOUR STILL TALKING SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP

Someguy: <talks>
Tolon: SHUT THE FUCK UP! I FUCKED YOUR SISTER AND I'LL DO IT AGAIN IF YOU DON'T SHUT THE FUCK UP!

*a bit of silence, some talking*

Tolon: Nah I'm just kidding man I didn't have sex with your sister.
Someguy: <Begins to say it's ok, no need to apologize, etc>
Tolon: SHUT THE FUCK UP OR I WILL FUCKING FUCK YOUR FUCKING SISTER!

Tolon: "You guys want to kill some fucking dreads? Fuck you've been killing dreads since before all your skillpoints combined couldn't fly one"

Tolon: OK guys we're gonna....
Echo of Tolon through TS: OK guys we're gonna.....
Tolon: SHUT THE FUCK UP

Tolon: WHY THE FUCK ISN'T XACHAR ON TEAMSPEAK? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS IDIOT DOING I'M GOING TO FUCKING POD HIM.
Some Goon: Uh, Xachar is deaf.
Tolon: oh ok.

Tolon: Ok, the gate is RED. Do you hear me? red.
Random newb warps through the gate
Tolon: YOU STUPID FUCKERS! THE NEXT PERSON TO JUMP THROUGH WITHOUT MY PERMISSION IS GOING TO GET PODDED, THEN I'LL POD HIS MUM, AND DOWN TO HIS FUCKING DOG! THE GATE IS FUCKING RED!
Scout: Can I jump through to check the gate?

Tolon: I could have fucked my wife three times in the time its taking you idiots to align

Tolon: All frigates warp to playerX.
-moments later a few non-frigates warp in as well-
Tolon: All non frigates at playerX go ahead and pod yourselves you stupid fucks.

Random Goon: Can I get a reinvite please
suas: WHO THE FUCK IS I? Ok gents a quick fleet tip, always say your name and not I, I don't recognize all your voices and you all sound like fucking James Taylor anyway <trails off>

Random guy: I've got a couple BS's and cruisers near me!
Tolon: ALRIGHT EVERYBODY WARP TO "I" YOU STUPID FUCKING FUCK. SAY YOUR FUCKING NAME.

Tolon on people not aligning fast enough:
"I have a boner for fucking killing people right now."

Tolon on his level of drunkenness
KIATolon: STFU HOMOS
KIATolon: I AM DRUNK

Tolon on people discussing their alcohol of choice
"WE'LL DRUNK VAGINA JUICE LATER!"

Tolon on people being retards
"IF YOU'RE SPECIAL NEEDS PUT X IN CHAT"

Tolon on warping us to a moon by accident
"I hope this moon is fucking unoccupied

Tolon talking about Dungar
"I want a c/d in gang chat. Is Dungar a huge fucking faggot, c/d?"

Someone came into GS&RED and asked to speak to a FC
Tolon: I AM DRUNK
Tolon: I WANT TO FIGHT
SomeoneElse: Don't convo him
Tolon: CONVO ME
Tolon: I'LL ADD YOU TO MY TOBEPODDED LTS
Tolon: I

Tolon on no one convoing him
"Congratulations to Goonfleet for fucking failing to fucking convo me."

Tolon on Stahl's demands that we stop webbing the station for the sake of the video
"I DON'T WANT THE STATION GETTING OUT OF MY RANGE, EVERYONE KEEP WEBBING THE FUCKING STATION!"

Tolon on someone's really low mic volume
"My vagina talks louder than you shut the fuck up"

Tolon on...something.
"For those of you in KZF you're in the wrong channel and..."

At this point he went into thirty seconds of drunken and slurred gibberish that was mostly threats of physical violence.

Tolon on his game crashing
Tolon: Gangboss, I need an invite
Me: Ok, just type in GS&RED
Tolon: SHUT THE FUCK UP FAGGOT!

Tolon, two seconds later
Tolon: I just realized you're the one inviting me, I shouldnt' call you a faggot

Tolon on people not aligning
"If you dont' fucking align I'm going to fuck all your sisters. Actually, wait, Joe, my brother who none of you know, he's here. HEY! These fuckers won't align and they've got too many sisters do you want to handle some of their sisters? There are a lot of them I need help on this. He says you're all space nerds."

Tolon on an enemy appearing at the same gate as us
"KILL HIM KILL HIM FUCKING KILL HI---Aw fuck. His sister's a whore.

Tolon on someone talking
"Shut up! Or I'll sleep with you...or your sister...or..."

Tolon telling us what gate to align to
"Line up for GBLpgblgplbglpasplg...Line up for that."

Tolon on a job well done
"I need to...sleepy sleepy sleepy

Tolon on someone saying 'good night'
"Shut up! Your fucking sister says Hi!"

Someone: What? Are we jumping?
Someone: You warped us to the wrong gate...
Tolon: SHUT U....
Someone: Tolon, we're at the wrong fucking gate, man!
Tolon: Oh... FUCK YOU!!!!

On the way back from DG- to 1V- escorting a dude in a pod. One jump out from 1V-
Palsy: Thanks for sticking with me guys
Tolon: Was that sarcasm? I don't know who "me" is
Palsy: The guy that will lose SP if he blows up.
Tolon: Oh, no problem, but you might want to be careful or you might lose them if you talk too much because I'll blow you up. In fact you'd better burn towards 1V- now and update your clone because I'm already getting ideas...

Praet: Oh, guys, you can talk on TS if you like.
*silence*
Praet: It's okay, I'm not gonna pod anybody.
*silence*
Goon: Well, you have an English accent. And so does Tolon.
Praet: Yeah, but I'm not Tolon.
Goon2: It's kinda like Pavlov's dog.

Tolon: "Guys, x up if you theynk Im the best fleet comanda in EVE."
Tolon: "Go On EEXxx up you lazy fr.."
Goon: "Suas currently there is a 200 man hostile fleet warping towards us at ..."
Tolon: "Shuttup. SHUUT UP."
Goon: "4 carriers 3.."
Tolon: "SHut"
Goon: "They're alm."
Tolon: "I said Shut up. Look. See. When I'm talking right yo.."
Goon: "Chowdown is Primary Chow..."
Tolon: "No. NO. NO! I said when I'm talking you L-IISTEN. Right? Now"
Tolon: "X up if you think whoever called primary is a faggot and should be podded"

[Akkori]

Holy shit that's funny. Probably not so much if you are there when it happens, but it's a great read. We should get him over to fly with us one day. I can't quite nail it, but there is some character, cartoon or something on TV or in a movie, that does something like this...

[Vedi]

So you basically pick fleet commanders based on who provide the best comedy material? Lady Scarlet would also be a clear choice for FC in Goonswarm?

[bhodi]

Actually, yes. A large part of being a FC is keeping your fleet entertained so they don't wander off, log off, and have a good time while playing the game so they'll come back next time.

He also happens to be a tactically good FC as well, as well as having a ... knack ... for whipping a rag-tag fleet into fighting shape. Everyone knows if he's running an op, and you make a mistake, you're going to get screamed at. Generally because you fucked up. Most don't take it personally and have a good time and learn from their mistakes in fleet. If you take it personally, well, you shouldn't be in GF. I've been screamed at plenty of times and, as a result, have learned how to say my name in TS when relaying information, and how to relay correct and pertinent information (WHICH gate? WHO is this? WHAT system? How many is A LOT of guys?) and not to talk over people.

Unfortunately, Lady Scarlet, so I've been told, is just a fat whiny bitch who takes losing and confrontations very personally. She's not entertaining or fun to fly with, nor does she seem to possess any redeeming qualities whatsoever. She's also a pretty mediocre fleet commander tactically speaking. So no, she'd just get laughed out of fleet.

People put up with Tolon/Suas because he's GOOD at what he does (FC) and is also quite over the top which is wholly entertaining to listen to. Lady Scarlet is just someone who has thin skin and a sandy vagina - when people made fun of her in-game she ran to CCP to cry about it. What makes her particularly special is that she got preferential treatment from CCP.

[TheWalrus]

Tolon on warping us to a moon by accident
"I hope this moon is fucking unoccupied


Still laughing!

[Phildo]

I liked this comment (although couldn't find the one it's referring to):

"My favourite bit is where the CVA member roleplays in a youtube comment."