Sir T
Terracotta Army
Posts: 14223
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Because this story about how a virgin didn't actually find love (oops did I give away the ending) with a self centered pycho with a 2 inch dick, is the greatest "romance" series since Twilight. AND IT'S NOW A MOVIE!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SfZWFDs0LxA |
Hic sunt dracones.
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Samwise
Moderator
Posts: 19228
sentient yeast infection
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I'm going to go out on a limb and say this movie is not going to be half as good as Secretary. |
"I have not actually recommended many games, and I'll go on the record here saying my track record is probably best in the industry." - schild
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HaemishM
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 42632
the Confederate flag underneath the stone in my class ring
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I'm going to go out on a limb and say this movie is not going to be half as good as Secretary any p0rn I've seen ever. FTFY. |
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60345
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I don't know, could've been great if they found someone everyone wanted to see naked to star in it and then proceed to get her naked for half the movie.
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HaemishM
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 42632
the Confederate flag underneath the stone in my class ring
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Too bad they didn't. Hell, I'd have rather seen Charlie Hunman in this movie instead of the two lumps of barely passable flesh they have now.
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Ginaz
Terracotta Army
Posts: 3534
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I'm going to go out on a limb and say this movie is not going to be half as good as Secretary any p0rn I've seen ever. FTFY. It will be if you are a sexually repressed soccer mom or a woman under 25 with little to no life experience. Kind of like Twilight.  |
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Morat20
Terracotta Army
Posts: 18529
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I hear it's an excellent how-to manual on "Getting into an abusive relationship" followed by "Also, here's a list of ways to get seriously fucked up in the head playing kinky games".
Besides, as noted -- if I wanted to watch a good movie about kink, I'd go watch Secretary again.
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Nevermore
Terracotta Army
Posts: 4740
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Fifty Shades of Grey is shit, and the movie will be worse.
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Over and out.
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Numtini
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7675
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I read and enjoyed the books. They were terribly written, but had this freaky compelling quality--possibly because they were originally written in cliffhanger blog posts. Also, by erotic romance standards, they're pretty mild. Yes, the relationship is severely dysfunctional and he's a controlling asshole and there's the whole toxic redemption of the bad boyfriend through love thing going on, but that's not exactly unheard of in romance fiction. Some of the abuse claims are overdone. Yes, she flees after he canes the crap out of her, but she did ask him and had a safeword she didn't use. I think Jezebel latched onto the real problem for the movie right off: the actor isn't nearly as hot in the trailer as he is in real life. Really in the trailer, more psycho than hot. |
If you can read this, you're on a board populated by misogynist assholes.
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Sir T
Terracotta Army
Posts: 14223
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Hic sunt dracones.
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Lantyssa
Terracotta Army
Posts: 20848
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I suspect this movie isn't made for any of us.
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Hahahaha! I'm really good at this!
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Chimpy
Terracotta Army
Posts: 10619
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The book was basically a several hundred page submission to Penthouse Letters.
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'Reality' is the only word in the language that should always be used in quotes.
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apocrypha
Terracotta Army
Posts: 6711
Planes? Shit, I'm terrified to get in my car now!
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Brilliant! I'm Facebooking that.  |
"Bourgeois society stands at the crossroads, either transition to socialism or regression into barbarism" - Rosa Luxemburg, 1915.
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Signe
Terracotta Army
Posts: 18942
Muse.
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Too bad they didn't. Hell, I'd have rather seen Charlie Hunman in this movie instead of the two lumps of barely passable flesh they have now.
Me too, even though I have no idea who the two lumps are.  I'll be here a while. Still here.... |
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« Last Edit: July 27, 2014, 09:35:23 AM by Signe »
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My Sig Image: hath rid itself of this mortal coil.
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murdoc
Terracotta Army
Posts: 3036
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Have you tried the internet? It's made out of millions of people missing the point of everything and then getting angry about it
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Sir T
Terracotta Army
Posts: 14223
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RIIISE!!! Well its probably gong to be the only thing that does. So the move s out n a couple of weeks, and apparently the press tour has run into a few snags 1) The Leads obviously cant stand one another. Which is not a big deal, not every romance move made involved actors that actually like one another. However... 2) They LOATH the movie they are being paid to promote and they hate the stuff the had to do to one another in said move. 3) They motherfuckng hate the fans who keep asking them questions about "romance" becasue they know they just made an abuseplotaton flick. 4) The Director hates the move 5) Nope, not a fan of the fans ether. 4) The Writer of the book hates the movie and fought with the director over pretty much everything. Probably becasue her true romance based on her romantic Twilight fanfic was translated into a sexplotaton flick which the book totally wasn't, you know. So yeah, this has disaster written all over it. I'm sure ts a faithful adaption so the fans will be scream that t wasn't like that in the book, and even the people who made t cant pretend to like the movie... Good times! Here is a collected links to interviews and general awkwardness http://defamer.gawker.com/50-shades-of-sigh-the-disastrous-50-shades-of-grey-p-1683492446 |
Hic sunt dracones.
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60345
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1) The Leads obviously cant stand one another. Which is not a big deal, not every romance move made involved actors that actually like one another. However...
2) They LOATH the movie they are being paid to promote and they hate the stuff the had to do to one another in said move.
3) They motherfuckng hate the fans who keep asking them questions about "romance" becasue they know they just made an abuseplotaton flick.
4) The Director hates the move
5) Nope, not a fan of the fans ether.
4) The Writer of the book hates the movie and fought with the director over pretty much everything. Probably becasue her true romance based on her romantic Twilight fanfic was translated into a sexplotaton flick which the book totally wasn't, you know.
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Ironwood
Terracotta Army
Posts: 28240
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I don't even know what that is and the wife is addicted to Cusack.
Did it bomb that hard ?
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"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
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Lantyssa
Terracotta Army
Posts: 20848
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I vaguely remember hearing about it. Doesn't appear to have great ratings, and I'm guessing the real draw was Roberts and drama-mode Crystal, which means it was completely forgettable.
Also I think John Cusack is the same alien species as Dick Clark. Or they're Immortals. I wonder how his sword skills are.
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Hahahaha! I'm really good at this!
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HaemishM
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 42632
the Confederate flag underneath the stone in my class ring
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I think I've seen pieces of America's Sweethearts and it didn't seem to stand out at all.
I'm sure it's still better than 50 Shades of Grrrr will ever be.
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Samwise
Moderator
Posts: 19228
sentient yeast infection
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I'm sure it's still better than 50 Shades of Grrrr will ever be.
Place your bets now on when one of my unfunny FB friends will post a "50 Shades of Groot" thing from 9gag. |
"I have not actually recommended many games, and I'll go on the record here saying my track record is probably best in the industry." - schild
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IainC
Developers
Posts: 6538
Wargaming.net
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Place your bets now on when one of my unfunny FB friends will post a "50 Shades of Groot" thing from 9gag.
Ah... You know that's actually a thing right? Gnardians of the Galaxy: 50 Shades of Groot will be written & directed by Lee Roy Myers.
“I think that Guardians of the Galaxy is one of the greatest super hero movies of all time. I am very excited to add penetration.”says Myers. |
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Rasix
Moderator
Posts: 15024
I am the harbinger of your doom!
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Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson are raw sexuality if raw sexuality bores you to tears and makes you wonder if two people are secretly Amish. |
-Rasix
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Samwise
Moderator
Posts: 19228
sentient yeast infection
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Place your bets now on when one of my unfunny FB friends will post a "50 Shades of Groot" thing from 9gag.
Ah... You know that's actually a thing right? Gnardians of the Galaxy: 50 Shades of Groot will be written & directed by Lee Roy Myers.
“I think that Guardians of the Galaxy is one of the greatest super hero movies of all time. I am very excited to add penetration.”says Myers. The betting is now closed. |
"I have not actually recommended many games, and I'll go on the record here saying my track record is probably best in the industry." - schild
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Surlyboi
Terracotta Army
Posts: 10963
eat a bag of dicks
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Heh... penetration.
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Tuned in, immediately get to watch cringey Ubisoft talking head offering her deepest sympathies to the families impacted by the Orlando shooting while flanked by a man in a giraffe suit and some sort of "horrifically garish neon costumes through the ages" exhibit or something. We need to stop this fucking planet right now and sort some shit out. -Kail
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Ragnoros
Terracotta Army
Posts: 1027
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In honor of the release of this fine film I instead watched Secretary with the GF. Very enjoyable, if odd and slightly troubling in the depictions of BDSM, but it works in the end and in retrospect. Would recommend Secretary.
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Owls are an example of evolution showing off. -Shannow
BattleTag - Ray#1555
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Riggswolfe
Terracotta Army
Posts: 8029
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In honor of the release of this fine film I instead watched Secretary with the GF. Very enjoyable, if odd and slightly troubling in the depictions of BDSM, but it works in the end and in retrospect. Would recommend Secretary.
It does have the advantage of having James Spader in it. As for the topic, I never read the book and don't plan to see the movie. |
"We live in a country, where John Lennon takes six bullets in the chest, Yoko Ono was standing right next to him and not one fucking bullet! Explain that to me! Explain that to me, God! Explain it to me, God!" - Denis Leary summing up my feelings about the nature of the universe.
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Mac
Terracotta Army
Posts: 134
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As for the topic, I never read the book and don't plan to see the movie.
Everyone says this, yet both the book and movie are runaway hits. |
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Ironwood
Terracotta Army
Posts: 28240
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I don't plan to read the book or see the movie, but I do plan to bump the thread.
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"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
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Merusk
Terracotta Army
Posts: 27449
Badge Whore
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As for the topic, I never read the book and don't plan to see the movie.
Everyone says this, yet both the book and movie are runaway hits. Yeah, it's almost as if the various internet forums that attract gamers and the technically adept have a quasi-homogenous culture that doesn't represent the greater breadth of society. But that's just crazy talk! |
The past cannot be changed. The future is yet within your power.
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K9
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7441
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I love the smell of facepalm in the morning
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Paelos
Contributor
Posts: 27075
Error 404: Title not found.
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CPA, CFO, Sports Fan, Game when I have the time
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Phildo
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Um... ew.
I read the book, I'll probably torrent the movie.
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Threash
Terracotta Army
Posts: 9170
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Why not just get some real porn, it's everywhere.
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I am the .00000001428%
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