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Topic: Internet Dating: Everyone's still shallow (Read 415164 times)
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Strazos
Greetings from the Slave Coast
Posts: 15542
The World's Worst Game: Curry or Covid
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Weak.
Well, I amused myself. Your avatar amuses me, so we can let it slide.
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Fear the Backstab! "Plato said the virtuous man is at all times ready for a grammar snake attack." - we are lesion "Hell is other people." -Sartre
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Musashi
Terracotta Army
Posts: 1692
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If you're trying to say that the biological process involved in love is not the only reason people have trouble with love, you'll get no argument from me. The functioning properly comment is of course relative and not meant to incite a semantic debate. All I'm trying to illustrate is that there are people who act irrationally because of brain chemistry, and peer pressure that's commonly associated with love. That may manifest itself in any number of ways, and in graduating degrees. For instance the threads and posts about feelings of inadequacy because of a lack of dating proficiency, in my opinion, are irrational. Perfectly natural, of course. But irrational. On the other hand if you're trying to say that those self esteem issues may be due to something else and not love chemistry at all, then I'm not with you.
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AKA Gyoza
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gryeyes
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2215
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I'm pretty sure it's a norm, and not an ideal. It may be your ideal, and well, that's cute. Lifelong romantic monogamy is not MY ideal, but it sure as fuck is the cultural ideal. Why the fuck do yo think its the "norm". As ive already explained and you seem incapable of fucking understanding is that lifelong complete monogamy is not derived instinctively. It is counter intuitive to our instincts, in the "wild" we would not be forming life long monogamous pairs (its almost unheard of for any mammal to do so). And you keep restating that the nature of love is derived from physiological changes in the body. NO FUCKING SHIT RETARD. All experiences,thoughts and actions are. What possible fucking value is there in restating this over and over as if it is pertinent to the conversation. Do you really believe people are unaware of this snippet of information? Do you think people experiencing love are under the mistaken impression that it is a mystical and magical experience? Do you have any related experience on the topic what so ever? If people were conversing about "friendship" and some twat enters the conversation and asserts that friendship is a myth and does not REALLY exist because it can be reduced to physiological changes in the brain/body, do you think that person has any friends? Similar situation here. Virgin talking about fucking with no understanding clinically or practically about the subject...at all.
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Musashi
Terracotta Army
Posts: 1692
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Dude. Bro. Dude. You're just wrong on so many levels, I don't even know where to start. Like I said, thanks for trolling.
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AKA Gyoza
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Ironwood
Terracotta Army
Posts: 28240
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I'm late: are the other 9 pages like this ?
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"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
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Azazel
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The last 5 or so are. It's basically a larf.
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Sir T
Terracotta Army
Posts: 14223
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All the depressives have left so its safe now
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Hic sunt dracones.
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Margalis
Terracotta Army
Posts: 12335
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I love myself more than enough for two people so I'm all set.
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vampirehipi23: I would enjoy a book written by a monkey and turned into a movie rather than this.
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Big Gulp
Terracotta Army
Posts: 3275
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But Lorekeeper...stay out of the clubs, they're not going to help. I know it sucks and is a pain in the ass, but you've just got to put yourself out there and meet some different people. If you're not comfortable with the clubs or whatever, you're setting yourself up for failure - women are going to pick up on the discomfort and lack of confidence (as much as I HATE the cliche), and you'll get nowhere in all likelihood.
Exactly. You're not going to get anything out of clubs or bars except depressed, drunk, and blue balls. My current girlfriend I met through Facebook. She was a year behind me in high school, and was a mousy, shy little thing. She's now a cop of all things. Work that social networking, guys!
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Selby
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2963
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She was a year behind me in high school,
I moved halfway across the country to get away from those people! ;-)
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stray
Terracotta Army
Posts: 16818
has an iMac.
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Not enough rock clubs in this city anymore. :\ Friends drag me to other types, but it's definitely not my thing. I wouldn't blame anyone for not going. Although it's always interesting, even if it leads to blue balls as Gulp said. Heh. If you're not "fun", bring a gay friend along then. Keep the girls entertained.
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Selby
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2963
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If you're not "fun", bring a gay friend along then.
Now that depends on the club you are going to, doesn't it? ;-)
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stray
Terracotta Army
Posts: 16818
has an iMac.
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Not at all man. The dancing drunk gay friend is the ultimate wingman anywhere. ;) It also helps that the people I go to these places with already know someone to meet up with or you go with a group of chicks to begin with. Hell, I'm really only there as someone's wingman too. Otherwise, I wouldn't suggest it either. [edit] This goes without mentioning that you need your "Whatever-take-one-for-the-team-I'll fuck anything." wingman too. There are rules, you see.
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« Last Edit: January 10, 2010, 12:26:35 PM by stray »
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LK
Terracotta Army
Posts: 4268
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Lorekeep - serious question regarding your Aspergers. Medically/clinically diagnosed or self-diagnosed?
Self-diagnosis (I KNOW LOL RIGHT?) working on professional diagnosis this month. But I hit all the symptoms, every single one, right down to repetitive motion and trouble sleeping. It would take a mountain of evidence otherwise to convince me of something else.
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"Then there's the double-barreled shotgun from Doom 2 - no-one within your entire household could be of any doubt that it's been fired because it sounds like God slamming a door on his fingers." - Yahtzee Croshaw
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60345
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It's funny you went down this path in this thread since I assumed you were sperged out when you asked how to aim with a controller like 10+ years after the dual shock came out.
I keed, I keed.
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Strazos
Greetings from the Slave Coast
Posts: 15542
The World's Worst Game: Curry or Covid
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Lorekeep - serious question regarding your Aspergers. Medically/clinically diagnosed or self-diagnosed?
Self-diagnosis (I KNOW LOL RIGHT?) working on professional diagnosis this month. But I hit all the symptoms, every single one, right down to repetitive motion and trouble sleeping. It would take a mountain of evidence otherwise to convince me of something else. You know, there was a time I thought I had Asperger's as well. And hell, maybe I still do...but so what? Lets say you DO have it...what then? Will that magically change something for you? Is there a magic pill for it? Really, what you need to do, as cheesy as it sounds, is commit to changing yourself, and follow through on it. Yes, sometimes you will have some depressing or sucky times, but you have to really want it. Hell, I still have times when I almost completely shut down when I'm dropped into a gathering of random people I've never met and am expected to "mingle" (which, considering my job, is sorta lol-sucky) but you've got grit your teeth and deal with it. Saying something like, "Oh, I can't do X; I have Asperger's" is just using it as a crutch and is a complete cop-out. I'd reiterate that you should probably stay out of the clubs (at least for the purpose of meeting people), and find groups of people to hang out with that you're comfortable around.
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Fear the Backstab! "Plato said the virtuous man is at all times ready for a grammar snake attack." - we are lesion "Hell is other people." -Sartre
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Signe
Terracotta Army
Posts: 18942
Muse.
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I'm still thinking decent clubs aren't a terrible way to meet people. If you can find decent clubs, that is. I don't know - maybe they really don't exist anymore? They seem to have done the trick for a lot of people I know.
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My Sig Image: hath rid itself of this mortal coil.
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stray
Terracotta Army
Posts: 16818
has an iMac.
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If he has aspergers, he can probably find a local aspergers support group. Maybe some chicks there. http://www.meetup.com/
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LK
Terracotta Army
Posts: 4268
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What then is that I deal. There is no magic pill, nothing that is going to correct the problem. It's like if you were all telepathic and I lacked that ability. I just shrug my shoulders and move on at this point.
You know what I'm tired of though? People looking at me like I'm different, not knowing what the fuck is going on, and knocking me for it instead of understanding that I AM different, I have problems, I'm trying to deal with them, and they should be a little more fucking open-minded. But that's asking too much.
That's the only reason I brought up Asperger. Anything involving relationships with human, be it for friends, fucking, or fucking over, is colored by this and explains to a T what my problems are and how I am. I'm textbook. It's comforting to know, but at the same time something I have to deal with.
I used to shy away from saying it because it was some stupid internet meme that self-diagnosed Aspergers (which schild has himself used as an insult to people) were a joke. Well fuck 'em. If someone said that to my face I'd grab the nearest thing of value to them, break it in front of their face, then use it to slit their throats. Yea, angry much. But that's how I feel when I come face to face with stupid; I want to put an immediate end to it.
I go to clubs now to have fun and hang with friends. I've got my coping mechanism and I've found people who respect me for who I am and I respect them and we have a good time every weekend. They recognize my problems, they'd love to see me get with a girl. The higher level analysis of my situation is everything is fucking great. Moping and moaning about women is a minor, trivial thing when everything else is just great.
I appreciate the advice Strazos, but it's not a fucking crutch. It's knowing why something went wrong and moving the fuck on and trying again.
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"Then there's the double-barreled shotgun from Doom 2 - no-one within your entire household could be of any doubt that it's been fired because it sounds like God slamming a door on his fingers." - Yahtzee Croshaw
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stray
Terracotta Army
Posts: 16818
has an iMac.
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Well, self-diagnosed anything is silly. Find out first. :) There are... doctors for that. You could just have.. social anxiety, and maybe hypochondria. ;) [edit] Not that those don't take coping mechanisms either.
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LK
Terracotta Army
Posts: 4268
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Hang on, let me chop my dick off so I can be properly emasculated for the pages and pages of this thread that'll be used talking about this and make me second-guess what I know after more than a decade of analysis that should be discounted because I didn't go through med school.
...
Ok, go.
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"Then there's the double-barreled shotgun from Doom 2 - no-one within your entire household could be of any doubt that it's been fired because it sounds like God slamming a door on his fingers." - Yahtzee Croshaw
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stray
Terracotta Army
Posts: 16818
has an iMac.
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Btw, pardon my ignorance, but is there any difference between autism and aspergers? I knew an autistic kid, and he just jumped around in place, humming, never said a damn thing. I would think an illness at least slightly associated would be able to relate to that kid more than me.. I mean, I would think you'd be so fucked up you wouldn't even talk to anyone here very well right now.
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LK
Terracotta Army
Posts: 4268
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Summary: Asperger's is the happy little trees version of autism.
And yeah, I can relate to that kid.
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"Then there's the double-barreled shotgun from Doom 2 - no-one within your entire household could be of any doubt that it's been fired because it sounds like God slamming a door on his fingers." - Yahtzee Croshaw
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60345
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Hang on, let me chop my dick off so I can be properly emasculated for the pages and pages of this thread that'll be used talking about this and make me second-guess what I know after more than a decade of analysis that should be discounted because I didn't go through med school.
...
Ok, go.
Just so you know, anyone familiar with aspergers could've spent 5 minutes in real life with you and figured out you were a sperger. Stray is just saying you should still see and doctor, and you should. If only for some uppers.
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Strazos
Greetings from the Slave Coast
Posts: 15542
The World's Worst Game: Curry or Covid
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I'm curious as to why you think people look at your like you're different, or how you know they think of you as "different." I use to have much the same mindset, thinking it obvious that my...social ineptitude was plainly obvious from sight or something. Was it?
Somewhat funny story...when I was in orientation for my job (with 96 other people), after knowing each other to varying degrees, the coordinators give us a Myers-Briggs test. Afterwards, people were *shocked* to find out I maxed out the introvert portion of the test.
What I'm trying to illustrate is that this idea you have that people see you as somehow "different" could mostly just be in your head, and when people really DO see you as "different," that could just be a manifestation of stuff going on in your head.
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Fear the Backstab! "Plato said the virtuous man is at all times ready for a grammar snake attack." - we are lesion "Hell is other people." -Sartre
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60345
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thinking it obvious that my...social ineptitude was plainly obvious from sight or something. Was it? Man, it was obvious on the internet, so what do you think?
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MahrinSkel
Terracotta Army
Posts: 10858
When she crossed over, she was just a ship. But when she came back... she was bullshit!
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Do we have to have the Asperger's discussion? Short form: Asperger's Syndrome is part a spectrum of neurologically-rooted behaviors, nearly all of which are common in the general population, and which have a significant (but hardly universal) correlation with higher performance in certain kinds of abstract problem solving and an inverse correlation with what are referred to as "people skills". Virtually anyone with an IQ over room temperature will display *some* symptoms of Asperger's, if only on occasion. The extreme forms of AS are Autism, which itself shows a spectrum from functional to nearly catatonic.
If you display behaviors you don't like, calling them "Asperger's" doesn't do much to help you change them, and makes an easy excuse to not try.
--Dave
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--Signature Unclear
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stray
Terracotta Army
Posts: 16818
has an iMac.
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Somewhat funny story...when I was in orientation for my job (with 96 other people), after knowing each other to varying degrees, the coordinators give us a Myers-Briggs test. Afterwards, people were *shocked* to find out I maxed out the introvert portion of the test.
Not to derail from the derail (ok maybe).. but I'm just curious what your result was? We should have have a Myer's Briggs test for F13. Not sure if I completely take stock in it though, but I've gotten ENFP for years. I lack direction.. or something.
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« Last Edit: January 10, 2010, 04:47:43 PM by stray »
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LK
Terracotta Army
Posts: 4268
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I'm curious as to why you think people look at your like you're different, or how you know they think of you as "different."
Sending to private. Any public dissemination is just more fodder for these guys.
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"Then there's the double-barreled shotgun from Doom 2 - no-one within your entire household could be of any doubt that it's been fired because it sounds like God slamming a door on his fingers." - Yahtzee Croshaw
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60345
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I'm curious as to why you think people look at your like you're different, or how you know they think of you as "different."
Sending to private. Any public dissemination is just more fodder for these guys. Point of order: Saying that is pretty much fodder.
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Strazos
Greetings from the Slave Coast
Posts: 15542
The World's Worst Game: Curry or Covid
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I was I S T J/P (the last portion is a dead heat). I think that last one changes depending on my mood or time of day or something. thinking it obvious that my...social ineptitude was plainly obvious from sight or something. Was it? Man, it was obvious on the internet, so what do you think? Yeah, no shit, though the question was rhetorical. Things change. I like to tell myself that getting out of NJ helped.
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Fear the Backstab! "Plato said the virtuous man is at all times ready for a grammar snake attack." - we are lesion "Hell is other people." -Sartre
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60345
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Some things change.
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LK
Terracotta Army
Posts: 4268
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I'm curious as to why you think people look at your like you're different, or how you know they think of you as "different."
Sending to private. Any public dissemination is just more fodder for these guys. Point of order: Saying that is pretty much fodder. But at least I can laugh along with you and not take it seriously when I say that versus going into nitty, gritty details and having a tough time telling when you guys are joking around in your usual cynically, from-the-peanut-gallery style. Granted, that's probably all the time, but you know, I take things seriously too much, and that's something I"m working on!
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"Then there's the double-barreled shotgun from Doom 2 - no-one within your entire household could be of any doubt that it's been fired because it sounds like God slamming a door on his fingers." - Yahtzee Croshaw
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stray
Terracotta Army
Posts: 16818
has an iMac.
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I was I S T J/P (the last portion is a dead heat). I think that last one changes depending on my mood or time of day or something.
You're either Lance Armstrong or Warren Buffett. I'm the Fresh Prince [edit] Lorekeep, while I sympathize, I just think you need to get diagnosed. Wasn't trying to beat you up.
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« Last Edit: January 10, 2010, 05:03:59 PM by stray »
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60345
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I'm curious as to why you think people look at your like you're different, or how you know they think of you as "different."
Sending to private. Any public dissemination is just more fodder for these guys. Point of order: Saying that is pretty much fodder. But at least I can laugh along with you and not take it seriously when I say that versus going into nitty, gritty details and having a tough time telling when you guys are joking around in your usual cynically, from-the-peanut-gallery style. Granted, that's probably all the time, but you know, I take things seriously too much, and that's something I"m working on! Taking things seriously in the real world is one thing, taking things seriously on the internet is just a mistake, sperged out or not. I mean, what difference does it make?
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