Engels
Terracotta Army
Posts: 9029
inflicts shingles.
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Murphy's law of Office Flatulence.
When in your office by yourself, if you hold off on farting, you will only recieve visits from lesbian middle aged co-workers. If, on the other hand, you let down your guard and let a stinky one rip, you will immideately recieve a visit from the cute 20something assistant with the wonderous cleavage. It never fails.
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I should get back to nature, too. You know, like going to a shop for groceries instead of the computer. Maybe a condo in the woods that doesn't even have a health club or restaurant attached. Buy a car with only two cup holders or something. -Signe
I LIKE being bounced around by Tonkors. - Lantyssa
Babies shooting themselves in the head is the state bird of West Virginia. - schild
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Signe
Terracotta Army
Posts: 18942
Muse.
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I don't know why I like you. You say the most awful things! I have no doubt that this just happened to you, too. eww.
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My Sig Image: hath rid itself of this mortal coil.
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Lantyssa
Terracotta Army
Posts: 20848
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I don't get visits from either of those types. It gets lonely hiding in an out of the way server room.
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Hahahaha! I'm really good at this!
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Rasix
Moderator
Posts: 15024
I am the harbinger of your doom!
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Being married I tend to fart with reckless abandon. Same with burping.
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-Rasix
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Samwise
Moderator
Posts: 19234
sentient yeast infection
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Apparently Samwise and I are meeting up over the weekend. I think I might get tanked. I might also get a massive curry.
Aha... I get what you're up to. In case the tanking might cause Samwise into thinking he could get lucky, the curry will keep him away from any of your sensitive orifices. Brilliant. He seems more interested in the wife. Did I just get outed as a heterosexual?
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Lantyssa
Terracotta Army
Posts: 20848
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* gasp*
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Hahahaha! I'm really good at this!
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Signe
Terracotta Army
Posts: 18942
Muse.
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Being married I tend to fart with reckless abandon. Same with burping.
So does Righ. I blame myself. I can only assume my wonderful cooking makes him windy.
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My Sig Image: hath rid itself of this mortal coil.
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Engels
Terracotta Army
Posts: 9029
inflicts shingles.
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I have no doubt that this just happened to you, too. eww.
It did not happen to me! I just know it will!
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I should get back to nature, too. You know, like going to a shop for groceries instead of the computer. Maybe a condo in the woods that doesn't even have a health club or restaurant attached. Buy a car with only two cup holders or something. -Signe
I LIKE being bounced around by Tonkors. - Lantyssa
Babies shooting themselves in the head is the state bird of West Virginia. - schild
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Ironwood
Terracotta Army
Posts: 28240
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Did anyone ever wonder how gambling started ?
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"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
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Signe
Terracotta Army
Posts: 18942
Muse.
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You should only eat things that smell nice, then. Like potpourri, and air freshners, and scented candles. Avoid food.
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My Sig Image: hath rid itself of this mortal coil.
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Engels
Terracotta Army
Posts: 9029
inflicts shingles.
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Did anyone ever wonder how gambling started ?
Is there something you wish to tell us about your daughter's college fund?
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I should get back to nature, too. You know, like going to a shop for groceries instead of the computer. Maybe a condo in the woods that doesn't even have a health club or restaurant attached. Buy a car with only two cup holders or something. -Signe
I LIKE being bounced around by Tonkors. - Lantyssa
Babies shooting themselves in the head is the state bird of West Virginia. - schild
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Ironwood
Terracotta Army
Posts: 28240
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Did anyone ever wonder how gambling started ?
Is there something you wish to tell us about your daughter's college fund? Heh. No, that's still secure. I was just wondering this morning when we first started to gamble. When did Man, as a species, first say "Tenner says that Thagg gets it from the Pointy Lizard ?" I was watching a craps and a roulette table the other day and thinking of the rules and the elegant systems that were designed around losing your money and wondering "How the Fuck did this ever happen ?"
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"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
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Miasma
Terracotta Army
Posts: 5283
Stopgap Measure
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I envision two cavemen arguing about something prehistoric and one of them gets the innovative idea of grunting "put your money where your mouth is". Then others started getting in on the action.
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Llava
Contributor
Posts: 4602
Rrava roves you rong time
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Prehistoric 5 year olds.
"I'll give you this rock if you pull the sabre-toothed tiger's tail."
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That the saints may enjoy their beatitude and the grace of God more abundantly they are permitted to see the punishment of the damned in hell. -Saint Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologica
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Cyrrex
Terracotta Army
Posts: 10603
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This thread is too important to go idle for 6 days. With that in mind, I have the following to add, which I doubt most of you have any practical experience with:
Yesterday, I mailed my own feces.
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"...maybe if you cleaned the piss out of the sunny d bottles under your desks and returned em, you could upgrade you vid cards, fucken lusers.." - Grunk
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Ironwood
Terracotta Army
Posts: 28240
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Are you expecting them to write back ?
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"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
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Cyrrex
Terracotta Army
Posts: 10603
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Your Signe impersonation is uncanny.
And it wasn't a "them", it was an "it"....wait. Is feces both the singular AND plural form? Like moose?
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"...maybe if you cleaned the piss out of the sunny d bottles under your desks and returned em, you could upgrade you vid cards, fucken lusers.." - Grunk
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Ironwood
Terracotta Army
Posts: 28240
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And you'll note that we're never in the same room at the same time.
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"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
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Llava
Contributor
Posts: 4602
Rrava roves you rong time
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What kind of postage does that require? I hope it was a heavy duty envelope.
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That the saints may enjoy their beatitude and the grace of God more abundantly they are permitted to see the punishment of the damned in hell. -Saint Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologica
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Yegolev
Moderator
Posts: 24440
2/10 WOULD NOT INGEST
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If you are playing find-the-toys-I-hid with a two-year-old, do not hide a toy in the microwave.
I have always delivered my waste products in person.
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Why am I homeless? Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question. They called it The Prayer, its answer was law Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
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Miasma
Terracotta Army
Posts: 5283
Stopgap Measure
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A bear rides a motorcycle on a high-wire while carrying a stuntwoman below during a show at the Animal Games in a wildlife park in Nanjing, in eastern China's Jiangsu province Tuesday, Oct. 3, 2006. The show was one of many events held to attract visitors to the park during the week-long National Day holiday. (AP Photo/EyePress)
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Sky
Terracotta Army
Posts: 32117
I love my TV an' hug my TV an' call it 'George'.
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But can he mail his own feces in the woods?
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HaemishM
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 42633
the Confederate flag underneath the stone in my class ring
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Only at the bulk rate.
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RhyssaFireheart
Terracotta Army
Posts: 3525
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A bear rides a motorcycle on a high-wire while carrying a stuntwoman below during a show at the Animal Games in a wildlife park in Nanjing, in eastern China's Jiangsu province Tuesday, Oct. 3, 2006. The show was one of many events held to attract visitors to the park during the week-long National Day holiday. (AP Photo/EyePress) Why does the Nation Day holiday last for a week?
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Sky
Terracotta Army
Posts: 32117
I love my TV an' hug my TV an' call it 'George'.
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I wish we had holiweeks. Damned commies!
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Yegolev
Moderator
Posts: 24440
2/10 WOULD NOT INGEST
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I think I have almost convinced my wife to watch me play all of the other Final Fantasy games, in reverse order perhaps. We'll see what's up when we are done with #7. If I can get her interested in #6, I'll probably be home-free!
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Why am I homeless? Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question. They called it The Prayer, its answer was law Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
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Signe
Terracotta Army
Posts: 18942
Muse.
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My Sig Image: hath rid itself of this mortal coil.
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Ironwood
Terracotta Army
Posts: 28240
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"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
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Lantyssa
Terracotta Army
Posts: 20848
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I don't know whether to laugh at that icon or cry in sympathy.
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Hahahaha! I'm really good at this!
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Yegolev
Moderator
Posts: 24440
2/10 WOULD NOT INGEST
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That's hilarious. I think Signe's fascination with breasts is almost on par with mine.
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Why am I homeless? Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question. They called it The Prayer, its answer was law Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
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Signe
Terracotta Army
Posts: 18942
Muse.
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That's hilarious. I think Signe's fascination with breasts is almost on par with mine.
I never used to be fascinated by breasts. It's just every time I see your name, I think of boobies. It's all your fault.
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My Sig Image: hath rid itself of this mortal coil.
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NiX
Wiki Admin
Posts: 7770
Locomotive Pandamonium
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I like boobies
On another note, I think I fractured my hand playing hockey :(
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Strazos
Greetings from the Slave Coast
Posts: 15542
The World's Worst Game: Curry or Covid
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Someone in our game did just that on saturday.
And he was our only sub, so we played the entire 3rd period of our second game with no subs. It was not quite what I would call fun...but my evil scheme of dumping the puck and Left Wing Lock actually worked for us.
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Fear the Backstab! "Plato said the virtuous man is at all times ready for a grammar snake attack." - we are lesion "Hell is other people." -Sartre
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Yegolev
Moderator
Posts: 24440
2/10 WOULD NOT INGEST
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That's hilarious. I think Signe's fascination with breasts is almost on par with mine.
I never used to be fascinated by breasts. It's just every time I see your name, I think of boobies. It's all your fault. My Master Plan is succeeding. Unless you mean the avian type.
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Why am I homeless? Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question. They called it The Prayer, its answer was law Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
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NiX
Wiki Admin
Posts: 7770
Locomotive Pandamonium
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Someone in our game did just that on saturday.
And he was our only sub, so we played the entire 3rd period of our second game with no subs. It was not quite what I would call fun...but my evil scheme of dumping the puck and Left Wing Lock actually worked for us.
I wish I had some awesome story for why it happened. But, it's really stupid. It was midnight shinny and we were all warming up. I was CLEARLY talking to a player. Someone asked to take a shot on me so I setup, stopped it and let the puck go. Turn back to talk to the player and out of the corner of my eye I see my buddy winding up for a slapshot as the puck rebounded towards him. I turn and throw my glove over my stomach to prevent serious damage to that part of my body. Direct shot to the palm of my hand with my stomach behind it to make sure my hand took all of the force. He insists it's my fault. A goalie should always be ready for random slapshots during warm up. I hate forwards.
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