Voodoolily's Snacktastic Recipe Thread!!

[Nebu]

Starting simple is a very good idea, I've been cooking for years and don't really make anything complex.

If you ever watch "Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares", Gordon preaches this to struggling restaraunt owners.  The best food is simply made from quality ingredients.  Don't get overly complex in the number of components... in cooking, less is more. 

[Nonentity]

Sadly, the homeowners association fines me $50 dollars if I grill on my patio. The grill itself is sitting under a tarp and is little more then an ashtray holder.

Fuck owning a condominium.

[voodoolily]

Sadly, the homeowners association fines me $50 dollars if I grill on my patio. The grill itself is sitting under a tarp and is little more then an ashtray holder.

Fuck owning a condominium.

How much will they charge you to burn the whole place down?

[Prospero]

Clearly the solution is to grill in the parking lot. Or maybe on the sidewalk, any place they don't have a rule yet. You can probably keep the association busy for years writing up new anti-grilling rules.

[Nonentity]

Sadly, the homeowners association fines me $50 dollars if I grill on my patio. The grill itself is sitting under a tarp and is little more then an ashtray holder.

Fuck owning a condominium.

How much will they charge you to burn the whole place down?

No idea, I am a safety-conscious griller! I dunno, though - I think they'd get suspicious if I started wheeling around my grill all over the place (that sounds like a line from a rap song).

[Nebu]

Sadly, the homeowners association fines me $50 dollars if I grill on my patio. The grill itself is sitting under a tarp and is little more then an ashtray holder.

Fuck owning a condominium.

Bolt some handlebars to it and tell them it's a bicycle.  That should fix em.

[Signe]

I still have my mother's old old old Joy of Cooking.  It still has her smudgy pages and bits of flour and some recipes stuffed in that people gave her.  It's hard to use because I get all sentimental when I look through it and end up forgetting what I'm doing.  I also have a newer one that I take out when I actually want to make something from it.  Now I feel like making her spice cake recipe that's stuffed in there.  I should really put these things in the computer but I probably never will.  Cooking from a computer just doesn't feel right.

[voodoolily]

Cooking from a computer just doesn't feel right.

You are 100% correct, miss.

[Sky]

Another newbie tip: get /at least/ a decent quick-read thermometer. A little programmable one with a probe isn't expensive, either. AB's formula is heat + time = cooking, so knowing the proper temperature is critical. Got to thinking about that last night as I had some of the succulent pork tenderloin I made the other night, sliced up thin with some pepper jack cheese melted on it on some fresh italian bread.

If you've got temps under control, doing a simple roast with a dry rub like that (I used the basic pork rub from the ATK New Best Recipe) and grilling (ok, broiling, heh) it up is soo simple and delicious.

You've got to get that grilling thing straightened out, though. I love me some grilled anything. Maybe not grilled pasta. But almost anything.

[Bunk]

I have to agree with Sky, without a meat thermometer trying to do a roast to the right amount of doneness is just too random. There's nothing cheating about sticking a thermometer in to your food.

[Nonentity]

Another newbie tip: get /at least/ a decent quick-read thermometer. A little programmable one with a probe isn't expensive, either. AB's formula is heat + time = cooking, so knowing the proper temperature is critical. Got to thinking about that last night as I had some of the succulent pork tenderloin I made the other night, sliced up thin with some pepper jack cheese melted on it on some fresh italian bread.

If you've got temps under control, doing a simple roast with a dry rub like that (I used the basic pork rub from the ATK New Best Recipe) and grilling (ok, broiling, heh) it up is soo simple and delicious.

You've got to get that grilling thing straightened out, though. I love me some grilled anything. Maybe not grilled pasta. But almost anything.

Yeah, it's pretty bad - are there any gas stove alternatives I can do for grilling? I know they probably won't be as good, but I gotta see what I can do in the interim.

[Evildrider]

You can get a grill pan.  It's what I use in the winter when I want something as close to grilling as possible.

[Signe]

You can also buy smokeless (relatively) indoor grills.  Unlike grill pans, they really have a proper grill so the meat doesn't sit in any oil and you get more of a grilled taste rather than a pan fried taste.  (not that there's anything wrong with a pan fried taste!)  Sanyo makes one that's pretty good and really easy to clean.  They're sort of slow, though.

[NowhereMan]

Or you could just grill (broil for you US types) it in the oven. If you don't need the smokeyness from a real barbecue then it's pretty much the same. I am right now enjoying a few chicken thighs marinaded in jamaican jerk sauce that I grilled. They're tasty.

[Signe]

My broiler sucks.  I can't even use it for 3 minutes without the smoke alarms going off, no matter how clean it is.  If I'm cooking inside, I'd much rather use the cooker top anyway, so it all gets sucked up by the fan.  Luckily, even though we rent a townhouse, we can grill on our deck, although with the kitties it makes it a pain.  I even use the outdoor grill in the winter unless it's snowing or something.

[NowhereMan]

My broiler sucks.  I can't even use it for 3 minutes without the smoke alarms going off, no matter how clean it is. 

  Since the weather in this country generally precludes barbecues for much of the year that situation would make me sad.

[Sky]

I don't even want to look in my stove's broiler. I'm hoping I can swing the $500 for the decent Hotpoint range, but I also have to run the gas line down first. Seems every project involves several other projects getting done first. Anyway, I haven't even opened the oven door. I'm scared of it. Because the kid owned it. And he couldn't cook. I think evil things may have burned in there.

Also, what the fuck is up with an electric range with only one big coil? Three small coils? With an instrument panel in the back that bumps out so you can't really even put pans on it?

Much like the washing machine, a front loader that won't drain properly (by design!!?! says the repair guy, it's a shit low end model), everything that douchebag bought for the house was not just cheap, but so shitty it doesn't even do what it's meant to do. I'm all for saving money, but when you can't even use the fucking thing?

Blah. Sorry, had to vent a bit. Hate that kid. Rewarding when I slowly exorcise his legacy from my house.

[NowhereMan]

Are you excising with a sledgehammer perchance? Cause that is definitely therapeutic.

[Signe]

I used to barbecue all year long, rain or shine, when I lived in Portsmouth.  Nice rainy day cookouts next to the Solent, watching the boats with Portchester Castle in the distance, were lovely.  Granted, weather is a wee bit nicer on the south coast, though I don't know, or don't remember where you are, NowhereMan.

That sounds silly, doesn't it?  Not knowing where NowhereMan is, that is.

I wouldn't blame Ironwood for shouting at me for that sentence.   

[NowhereMan]

  to the vast majority of your outer-inner monologue.

To answer, I'm mostly in Durham and occasionally go back to London because I'm still a filthy student that lacks a home of my own. Moving to Manchester in a couple of months though, I have no idea if this is a good idea or not as I've never been there before. I've heard it's rainy but I own an umbrella so that's probably okay. I doubt that makes barbecues more likely though :sadf:

[Signe]

Try and find a place with a bit of cover.  That's all I had.  You can do it.  I know you can!  I'll cheer you on! 

I don't have anything nice to say about Manchester so I just won't saying anything at all. 

[rattran]

I grill through the worst Illinois winters. It takes a bit longer to get the charcoal and wood going, but I've grilled steaks when it's -16F out. It's easy enough to wheel the Weber off the front porch if it's snowing and not too windy, otherwise I grill on the porch. The big smoker is chained out back, but I rarely use that at all.

It's this time of the year I don't grill much, I don't want to stand outside next to a smoky hot grill when it's 85F and humid. I'll likely grill some New York Strips or a side of salmon this weekend if I can avoid work.

[apocrypha]

It's not temperature that's the problem here in the UK, it's rain. Barbequeing in the rain is entirely possible, it's just not much fun. I lived in GLasgow for 3 years and someone would say "Isn't it a lovely day!" and I'd look up and it'd be all cloudy and grey and I'd think "You've been living here too fucking long".

It is August in Leeds atm (actually it's August everywhere....) and every single day this week it's rained. Pissing me off.

However, yeah, South coast is nicer. My parents live in Brighton and have a huge allotment and they've built a barbeque out of bricks and oven shelves. Summer evenings down there are great - aubergines and courgettes straight off the plants and onto the barbeque, awesome.

[voodoolily]

I use a grill pan. I love it, especially for sammiches.

[Signe]

I use a grill pan too.  It just doesn't really taste like proper barbecue.  Quick frying fish on a hot hot cast iron grill pan is lovely!

[Paelos]

The cast iron grill pan is a savior for people in apartments like myself. It's not the purest way to go for grilling things, but if you let the flavors melt into the pan after a while, it can give you good returns as you cook down the road.

[NowhereMan]

Don't have any pictures at the moment but this weekend I got to do something I didn't even know I really wanted to do: Spit roast a suckling pig.

Got grabbed by a friend on Friday, we drove to a farm to collect said intact porcine specimen (about 37kg) and then down to his house for his mother's 50th. Took a while preparing the pig, inserting the spit (scaffolding pole with some holes drilled in it for stabilising rods and clamps that screwed on either end as well as a little locking thing to keep it at whatever rotation you needed it at). Getting it into the pig wasn't too bad but exiting through the mouth took some... persuading. We then scored it all over, rubbed garlic into the skin and then massaged in a lot of olive oil, thyme, pepper and salt. Lots of salt. This was followed by starting a fire either side of it that took a lot longer to start than we'd bargained for (the wood was somewhat wet and not as seasoned as it could have been. He also hadn't thought to get much kindling). Took about 14 hours to cook in the end, we started at midnight (or at least started the initial fires) and we were worried as his meat thermometer was still reading quite cool for a few parts of it. However upon carving the whole thing turned out to be pretty well done. There was a huge amount of really tasty crackling, the pork was really tasty and tender and there was more than enough for everyone. His family are probably going to be dining on pork sandwiches for quite a while, he's talking about cooking the carcass into a stock.

Our only regret was not actually sticking an apple in its mouth after cooking (taking the pole out without damaging the pig seemed too risky).

[voodoolily]

The apple is usually inserted pri9or, to keep the mouth open during cooking. I can't remember why, though (it's not just for aesthetics). I wanna buy another pig and make my own prosciutto/pancetta/lardons/guanciale. Bad.

[Sky]

I want to be a stalky homeless guy outside your house, sneaking in and raiding your fridge.

Well, me and half the internet.

Need a Homer drooly smiley, Signe. 

[Signe]

[NowhereMan]

The apple is usually inserted pri9or, to keep the mouth open during cooking. I can't remember why, though (it's not just for aesthetics).

Ah in that case all is well since the pole was wide enough to keep the mouth open all through cooking.

[Sky]

You have amazing talents.

Ah in that case all is well since the pole was wide enough to keep the mouth open all through cooking.

mmmmmm.......THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!

[NowhereMan]

I've managed to upload some pictures, this is pretty far along, a few hours before we actually felt it was cooked.

[voodoolily]

Veeeerrry impressive. Was the crank mechanized, or did you have to stand there turning the spit manually?

I hope you saved the cheek meat.

[NowhereMan]

The crank was manual but if you look at the first pic, the little disc on the end had a lock mechanism so we just gave it a quarter turn every ten minutes or so. Having left him and his family to pork left overs for the rest of the week I can't tell you what happened to the cheek meat. I can tell you that the tail was somewhat too well done to be appetising. Oh and in case anyone is interested we were guided in this endeavour by Meat a particularly lengthy tome. Practically an encyclopaedia of recipes that involve dead land animals.