SW - Episode 7: Mary Sue wakes up but there's no coffee. RAGE.

[eldaec]

It's possible. But I'm not laying odds against the simpler and entirely ok by me explanation that there is a trainee jedi in this movie.

And if I were marketing this movie, I'd want to manage fans expectations on the issue of whether, like in every other part of the canon, Main Character is a jedi.

Otherwise half the audience will just bitch about it later. For further clarity on why this is being spoiled, imagine if WUA was srill posting here.

[Typhon]

Nerds complain about everything and anything.

As evidenced ad nauseum here at f13!

[snip]

The shadow of the gun and strap bothers me more than it should.

Is that wry self-deprecation?  I think it is!

[Sky]

Nay, 'twas but an artistic critique. Quite another thing, entirely.

[Sir T]

In "fuck please God no" rumour news;

http://www.therealstanlee.com/hayden-christensen-may-be-reprising-his-iconic-role-in-star-wars-episode-viii

While Star Wars fans are sweating the arrival of the highly anticipated film Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens, the second movie in the new trilogy is already beginning to take shape. While next to nothing is actually known about the eighth episode a very interesting bit of information has surfaced which could mean the return of an icon.

Rumors about the appearance of Darth Vader in Gareth Edwards' Star Wars: Rouge One have been circulating for quite some time, but now there's some even bigger news. Hayden Christensen might just be returning to reprise his role as the Sith lord in the yet unnamed Star Wars: Episode VIII.

Although not all fans and critics were entirely taken by Christensen's performance in the arguably infamous Star Wars prequels, it's hard to imagine anyone else taking up the helm as Anakin Skywalker, especially considering how much of the original cast will be returning to set.

[Bunk]

Stick him in the Vader suit and have Jones do the voice over.

[Sir T]

they could, but if they get him they will having him running about Dark Helmet style.

[Merusk]

Just do the same as they did in the original. Get a bodybuilder who can emote. Lord knows Christensen's Vader was too goddamn short and scrawny.

[MahrinSkel]

I can think of half a dozen of the 501st Legion Vaders that could do the body acting for Vader better than Christensen. But fuck it, it's probably about 30 seconds worth of ghost/hologram Vader, anyway.

--Dave

[Margalis]

Although not all fans and critics were entirely taken by Christensen's performance in the arguably infamous Star Wars prequels, it's hard to imagine anyone else taking up the helm as Anakin Skywalker, especially considering how much of the original cast will be returning to set.

Everything about this sentence is ridiculous.

"I can't imagine Vader not being played by that guy who did such a bad job in the prequels that his performance instantly became the butt of jokes and memes!"

[Cyrrex]

Not that I feel particularly like defending the guy, but I always thought most of the things I disliked about Hayden in those movies was due to the ham-fisted screenplay and direction by George.  As witnessed also in cringe-worthy performances by Natalie Portman, Samuel Jackson, Ian McDiarmid, Ewan McGregor, Christopher Lee and countless other perfectly talented people.  Some of them occasionally rose above the content they were portraying, but most of it was pretty bad. 

[Ironwood]

Yeah, pretty much.

[Cyrrex]

Which is to say, give him a shot.  Maybe he can....redeem...himself.  Haha I slay me.

[Merusk]

My problem with him wasn't the acting, for the reason you mention. (Although follow-up performances haven't been much better) My objection is entirely around size and emote ability. Prowse was a good 6" taller than Sir Alec at 6'-5" to 5'-10" Christensen is maybe 2-3" taller than Guinness at a listed 6'-0"

Vader is all about the gesticulation and James Earl Jones' voice. Go back and watch how very Hammy most of the iconic Vader scenes are. They work because he's a big ass man in an all black suit flailing about with his hands like it's an Italian stage production.

[Cyrrex]

Well, for them to even bring him back, I think it implies no gesticulating and posturing in a black suit and helmet.  They can get any schlub for that.  Maybe it is just blue glowy that we would see.  Or maybe it is all bullshit and who cares.

[Lakov_Sanite]

Likely it's for a short scene without the mask on to show him as a younger Anakin in the suit.  That way you can contrast it with ep6 where he is much much older.

[Yegolev]

Go back and watch how very Hammy most of the iconic Vader scenes are.

OK!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3lScCvnkEQ

[Malakili]

I don't think there's an actor in all of Hollywood who could have made Anakin's shitty lines work.   The acting wasn't great, but I see most of the prequels problems stemming from the writing.

[Bunk]

For fun, a random sampling of quotes from IMDB. Try to come up with how you would deliver these lines without sounding like a robot:

Anakin: We will find out who's trying to kill you, Padmé. I promise you.

Obi-Wan: Where are you going? He went that way!
Anakin: Master, if we keep this chase going any longer that creep is gonna end up deep fried. And personally, I'd very much like to find out who he is, and who he's working for. This is a short cut... I think.
Obi-Wan: Well, you've lost him!

Anakin: She went into the club, master.
Obi-Wan: Patience. Use the force. Think.

Anakin: Attachment is forbidden. Possession is forbidden. Compassion, which I would define as unconditional love, is essential to a Jedi's life. So you might say, that we are encouraged to love.

Anakin: It doesn't have to be that way. We could keep it a secret.
Padme: We'd be living a lie. One we couldn't keep, even if we wanted to. I couldn't do that. Could you, Anakin? Could you live like that?

Padme: I do not like this idea of hiding.
Anakin: Sometimes we must do what is requested of us.

Anakin: I've heard this lesson before.
Obi-Wan: You haven't learned anything, Anakin.

Anakin: Someday I will be the most powerful Jedi ever.

Anakin: Excuse me, I'm in charge of security here, milady.


It's endless:

Anakin: Don't be afraid.
Padme: I'm not afraid to die. I've been dying a little bit each day since you came back into my life.
Anakin: What are you talking about?
Padme: I love you.
Anakin: You love me? I thought we had decided not to fall in love. That we'd be forced to live a lie and that it would destroy our lives.
Padme: I think our lives are about to be destroyed anyway. I truly... deeply... love you and before we die I want you to know.


And of course, George's ultimate writing masterpiece:

Padme: We used to come here for school retreat. We would swim to that island every day. I love the water. We used to lie out on the sand and let the sun dry us and try to guess the names of the birds singing.
Anakin: I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere. Not like here. Here everything is soft and smooth.

[Yegolev]

Read Anakin's lines with Rodney Dangerfield's voice.

"I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere. Not like here. Here everything is soft and smooth."

[Yegolev]

After the big fight:

[Tannhauser]

Nothing wrong with HC's acting. Lucas is obsessed with old serials and he writes and directs as such.  Look at the titles; The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, etc.  they are deliberately cheesy in homage to the old Buck Rogers stuff.

[jgsugden]

Nothing wrong with HC's acting....

Except that I've seen his non-SW roles and he is no good in most of them as well...

[HaemishM]

I'm not sure why we can't entertain the possibility that Lucas's dialog sucked giant bowls of monkey dick and that Hayden Christensen is a really bad actor. Nothing I've seen contradicts both conditions being 100% true.

[Merusk]

Go back and watch how very Hammy most of the iconic Vader scenes are.

OK!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3lScCvnkEQ

Exactly! I love that clip.

Nothing wrong with HC's acting....

Except that I've seen his non-SW roles and he is no good in most of them as well...

Yup.

Lucas was a terrible director, but HC is no great shakes at acting. He's been just as wooden in everything I've seen him in.
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0159789/

For fun, a random sampling of quotes from IMDB. Try to come up with how you would deliver these lines without sounding like a robot:

Ford pulled it off and his lines were equally dumb for Leia/ Han. He just was better at it and Lucas didn't have this unassailable aura at the time.

Han Solo: Hey, Your Worship, I'm only trying to help.
Princess Leia: Would you please stop calling me that?
Han Solo: Sure, Leia.
Princess Leia: You make it so difficult sometimes.
Han Solo: I do, I really do. You could be a little nicer, though. Come on, admit it. Sometimes you think I'm all right.
Princess Leia: Occasionally, maybe... when you aren't acting like a scoundrel.
Han Solo: Scoundrel? Scoundrel? I like the sound of that.
[Han starts to massage Leia's hand]
Princess Leia: Stop that.
Han Solo: Stop what?
Princess Leia: [timidly] Stop that. My hands are dirty.
Han Solo: My hands are dirty, too. What are you afraid of?
Princess Leia: Afraid?
Han Solo: You're trembling.
Princess Leia: I'm not trembling.
[Han moves in closer]
Han Solo: You like me because I'm a scoundrel. There aren't enough scoundrels in your life.
Princess Leia: I happen to like nice men.
Han Solo: I'm nice men.
Princess Leia: No, you're not. You're...
[they kiss]

That's Jackie Collins level dialogue written for 12 year old boys. You just think it's good because of nostalgia, it's not. The ACTING made it good.

I'm not sure why we can't entertain the possibility that Lucas's dialog sucked giant bowls of monkey dick and that Hayden Christensen is a really bad actor. Nothing I've seen contradicts both conditions being 100% true.

Yes.

[Yegolev]

Is that from the script or from a slash fiction?  I'm not sure.

[HaemishM]

That's the script. I remember those lines well. And yes, those lines weren't great writing - Ford and Fisher just were able to act and they had onscreen chemistry. Honestly, I think most "romantic" lines like that are really terrible whether they are on the written page, onscreen or in person by people who actually mean them. The difference is that in 2 of those 3 interactions, we have human beings emitting emotions with body language and inflection, and in the 3rd we have one egotist writing what he thinks people should be saying and trying to describe how they would say it (which a writer can't do if all he can write on the page is dialog).

[Evildrider]

I found this lolworthy... seems like Michael B. Jordan is being rumored to be the new Boba Fett.  I wonder how much bigger the nerd rage over this will be compared to the Human Torch casting.

[Hawkbit]

I'm cool as long as Fett never removes his mask. Otherwise, the only actor that should play him is Temuera Morrison.

[Lakov_Sanite]

Ep7 fett wouldn't be the original anyways, there will be some sort of passing of the mantle.

[Surlyboi]

[MahrinSkel]

Well, Boba was a clone of Jango, and you know how when you make a copy of a copy....

[Evildrider]

[Surlyboi]

You may be right. I read it my way, but your way works too.

[Evildrider]

You may be right. I read it my way, but your way works too.

Also apparently Boba Fett is shown to be in the Jakku DLC that is coming with Battlefront pre-orders.

[Riggswolfe]