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Topic: SW - Episode 7: Mary Sue wakes up but there's no coffee. RAGE. (Read 303188 times)
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Shannow
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Someone liked something? Who the fuzzy fuck was this heretic? You don't come to this website and enjoy something. Fuck that. ~ The Walrus
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Lantyssa
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What are peoples criticisms of Return? Only thing I ever usually hear is "fucking Ewoks" which really never bothered me.
Fucking ewoks. Seriously. If they hadn't been so damn stupid, Return would easily be my favorite of the three. There's a lot about Empire that make me consider it the most important of the films, however the locations were likewise the most uninteresting of the three to me. |
Hahahaha! I'm really good at this!
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Samwise
Moderator
Posts: 19228
sentient yeast infection
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Main problem with Return of the Jedi (IMHO) is that it was kinda all over the place. A New Hope was the most cohesive film of the triology because it had a single fairly tight story and mostly followed one group of characters together. Return split the party into what, three main groups by the end, each with very tonally different stories? (Lando doing the exciting pewpew space battle, Han/Leia/Chewy/droids doing ewok/stormtrooper slapstick, Luke doing grimdark Jedi stuff.) It was definitely Lucas going "and we'll put THIS in there! And THIS!" It was all great stuff on its own (even the Ewok slapstick was good for what it was) but it didn't fit together that well. Phantom Menace took that even further (slapstick pewpew space battle plus political commando action plus grimdark jedi plus slapstick ground battle), with the added bonus that the individual pieces weren't even that good on their own.  |
"I have not actually recommended many games, and I'll go on the record here saying my track record is probably best in the industry." - schild
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Malakili
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Phantom Menace took that even further (slapstick pewpew space battle plus political commando action plus grimdark jedi plus slapstick ground battle), with the added bonus that the individual pieces weren't even that good on their own. Edit: I guess the time code doesn't work, skip to 55 minutes. |
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« Last Edit: December 08, 2014, 12:54:55 PM by Malakili »
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Samwise
Moderator
Posts: 19228
sentient yeast infection
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"I have not actually recommended many games, and I'll go on the record here saying my track record is probably best in the industry." - schild
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HaemishM
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 42632
the Confederate flag underneath the stone in my class ring
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Ewok vs stormtroopers was clownshoes. Mostly this. I still like Return, but even as a kid I felt like the Ewoks won because they were pandering to kids and adults who like cute furry critters (not in a sexual way). Had that been the planet of Wookies, I'd have bought it more than little goddamn teddy bears. But even aside from that, Empire had a much more believable tone - it wasn't a fairy tale, it was an actual adventure story with real danger and what felt like real consequences. Luke getting his hand chopped off and Solo getting captured and frozen in carbonite felt more real to me than the death of Vader and "IT'S A TRAP!" |
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Soulflame
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Ewoks vs Stormtroopers is the Civ 2 of the Star Wars movies. Goddamn spearmen taking out your battleship, except the technological divide is far greater than that.
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Shannow
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Had that been the planet of Wookies,
There are no wookies on Endor! |
Someone liked something? Who the fuzzy fuck was this heretic? You don't come to this website and enjoy something. Fuck that. ~ The Walrus
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Lantyssa
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There's also two fucking 'EE's in Wookiee.
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Hahahaha! I'm really good at this!
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HaemishM
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 42632
the Confederate flag underneath the stone in my class ring
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I refuse to worry about proper spelling on goddamn Star Wars.  |
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Tannhauser
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Asking me to choose between NH and ESB is like asking me to choose between my two kids. ROTJ is the red-headed step child.
You have the amazement of NH bringing this universe to existence, the Death Star rescue, the destruction of said Death Star. You have Hoth, Han and Leia hooking up and of course Vader kicking his kids' ass. I didn't like Dagobah, slowed the movie to a crawl.
ROTJ actually went back to 'Big' after the personal stories of ESB. Sure it has issues as mentioned above, but the space battle was epic and the death of the Emperor and salvation of Anakin was suitably epic.
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lamaros
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I hope you don't ever "own" any children!  |
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Evildrider
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I hope you don't ever "own" any children! What about "pwning" children? |
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WayAbvPar
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I hope you don't ever "own" any children! What about "pwning" children? Keenly encouraged. Everyone needs life lessons! |
When speaking of the MMOG industry, the glass may be half full, but it's full of urine. HaemishM
Always wear clean underwear because you never know when a Tory Government is going to fuck you.- Ironwood
Libertarians make fun of everyone because they can't see beyond the event horizons of their own assholes Surlyboi
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Sir T
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Basically Return was all over the place in tone. There are BITS of Return that are fantastic, like any scene with the Emperor in it, and the first part of Luke's fight over the Sarlack, and the space battle at the end is great. The Problem is the stupid slapstick. That fight over the Sarlack turned into looney tune comedy for no reason. The Ewoks could have actually been played rather menacing in the beginning when they were planning to eat the Characters, but even that was played for juvenile laughs.
If someone had kicked Lucas in the nuts and excised out all the stupid shit Return could have been great. It certainly was not what people were expecting after the great serious tone of Empire.
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Hic sunt dracones.
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eldaec
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Posts: 11843
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And to add, there is slapstick in star wars, there is slapstick in Fellowship of the Ring, there is slapstick in Indiana Jones, the point being it is good slapstick inserted at the right moments rather than the gear crunching mess Lucas specialises in.
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"People will not assume that what they read on the internet is trustworthy or that it carries any particular assurance or accuracy" - Lord Leveson
"Hyperbole is a cancer" - Lakov Sanite
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Phildo
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What about "pwning" children?
 I want to link this image in everything. |
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calapine
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Solely responsible for the thread on "The Condom Wall."
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And to add, there is slapstick in star wars, there is slapstick in Fellowship of the Ring, there is slapstick in Indiana Jones, the point being it is good slapstick inserted at the right moments rather than the gear crunching mess Lucas specialises in.
Well yes. But Indiana Jones and Star Wars are tonally different films. What works in the first might well be too much/out of place in the second. Who said it? A) George Lucas B) Adolf Hitler |
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« Last Edit: December 09, 2014, 11:36:29 AM by calapine »
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Restoration is a perfectly valid school of magic!
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DraconianOne
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As a random aside, I met a guy on Saturday who was a prop maker on Episode 7 and he mentioned that his company are likely to be starting pre-prod work on the spin-off in March.
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A point can be MOOT. MUTE is more along the lines of what you should be. - WayAbvPar
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taolurker
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I used to write for extinct gaming sites
details available here (unused blog about page)
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Tannhauser
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That's pretty cool.
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Merusk
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Badge Whore
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The past cannot be changed. The future is yet within your power.
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Lantyssa
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Vindication!
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Hahahaha! I'm really good at this!
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Ginaz
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I use to buy those cards. I wonder if the new cards have a stick of really hard gum with flavour that lasts for only 30 seconds? |
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Merusk
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Nope, they stopped that years ago and inspired lamenting blogs from older sports writers ever since.
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The past cannot be changed. The future is yet within your power.
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Ratman_tf
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Posts: 3818
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Empire was good, but like the Boba Fandom, fans could stand to refrain from wanking off to it so hard.
Ah, a Star Wars movie by JJ Abrams. I'm putting my money on it getting all the "nouns" right, but being off in tone by about a light year. :D
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 "What I'm saying is you should make friends with a few catasses, they smell funny but they're very helpful." -Calantus makes the best of a smelly situation. |
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Azazel
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After the last four, the bar isn't exactly high...  |
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Riggswolfe
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Posts: 8029
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Empire was good, but like the Boba Fandom, fans could stand to refrain from wanking off to it so hard.
Ah, a Star Wars movie by JJ Abrams. I'm putting my money on it getting all the "nouns" right, but being off in tone by about a light year. :D
Have you not seen his two Star Trek films? In a lot of ways they're better Star Wars films than the last few actual Star Wars films were. |
"We live in a country, where John Lennon takes six bullets in the chest, Yoko Ono was standing right next to him and not one fucking bullet! Explain that to me! Explain that to me, God! Explain it to me, God!" - Denis Leary summing up my feelings about the nature of the universe.
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Hawkbit
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Posts: 5531
Like a Klansman in the ghetto.
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Everything I didn't like about the way Abrams changed Star Trek into an action movie is exactly why I'm excited about him taking over Star Wars. It's hard to get super excited after the prequels, but I think he's going to do SW right.
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sickrubik
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beer geek.
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murdoc
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GODDAMN
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Have you tried the internet? It's made out of millions of people missing the point of everything and then getting angry about it
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taolurker
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I used to write for extinct gaming sites
details available here (unused blog about page)
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Samwise
Moderator
Posts: 19228
sentient yeast infection
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Fanservice fanservice LOTS OF FLASHING LIGHTS fanservice. Definitely a JJ project. |
"I have not actually recommended many games, and I'll go on the record here saying my track record is probably best in the industry." - schild
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sickrubik
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Posts: 2967
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« Last Edit: April 16, 2015, 01:41:22 PM by sickrubik »
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beer geek.
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Trippy
Administrator
Posts: 23626
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Remove that :large from your image URL.
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