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Author
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Topic: Artisanal Bat Country (Read 33092 times)
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60345
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So, someone on f13 just sent me some jam. I know another person sent me chocolates before. We make a lot of weird shit here. I've sent a number of people uhhhh you know, nicotine laced PG.
ANYWAY. Let's get a catalog of shit people make.
We're all old now, so like. We do old people things. Like make stuff.
(oh and lots of ya'll make beer) (i didn't forget you) (hobby alcoholics)
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« Last Edit: March 28, 2019, 06:58:59 PM by schild »
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rattran
Moderator
Posts: 4257
Unreasonable
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I make small metal pendants and pins, can't find much enthusiasm for making the Norse Rune ones with all the Alt-Nazi fucktards co-opting them.
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Ard
Terracotta Army
Posts: 1887
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I was the chocolates, but you knew that. That's more or less been on hold due to having kids though the last few years.
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« Last Edit: March 28, 2019, 07:32:39 PM by schild »
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60345
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Of course I knew that. The point was to share with the class, not with me.
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IainC
Developers
Posts: 6538
Wargaming.net
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Threash
Terracotta Army
Posts: 9170
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I wouldn't call it "artisanal" but i design t-shirts for Amazon, if you need almost anything put on a shirt/hoodie/sweatshirt i can swing it.
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I am the .00000001428%
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Sky
Terracotta Army
Posts: 32117
I love my TV an' hug my TV an' call it 'George'.
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I make art and music. The music has slid a lot since I started drawing, though. An old piece from 2012. My dislike of punching in and overdubs, combined with the perfection required to make a good classical recording, meant this project kinda went nowhere after a few sessions. My Best of Show from last year:
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Samwise
Moderator
Posts: 19227
sentient yeast infection
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I bake bread (100% wild sourdough), mostly given away to others so I can stay in practice and keep the culture going without having to eat all the carbs myself. There's a waitlist on the intranet at work that's about four months long now; every week I pick a morning to do some baking and drop the product off at someone's desk while it's still warm from the oven. I've shipped a few loaves via Priority Mail (costs about $15) for special occasions and am told they arrive in edible condition.
I can spend about five minutes throwing $2 worth of stuff into a jar and come up with a terrarium that looks better than the ones sold for $50 in bougie boutiques. Not really impressive IMO but it wows the type of people with $50 to spend on a plant in a jar; I keep thinking I should set up a table at a street fair sometime and see how much money I can make in an afternoon.
I've also at various times produced drawings, paintings, poetry, prose, and songs for people. Last year I starred in an off-off-off-Broadway musical that I helped write. Super cringey but I'm proud to have done it.
Oh and I code, but since that's how I earn all my money I don't find much joy in doing it outside of work any more. Alas.
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"I have not actually recommended many games, and I'll go on the record here saying my track record is probably best in the industry." - schild
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HaemishM
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 42631
the Confederate flag underneath the stone in my class ring
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I write novels and if you motherfuckers didn't already know that, you can see my sig lines. I'm also recording music on the side (very much on the side because most of what I've done has been 30 second to 1 minute clips for trailers for said books) and learning video production. There will be something to share on those two fronts soon.
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Trippy
Administrator
Posts: 23626
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I bake bread (100% wild sourdough), mostly given away to others so I can stay in practice and keep the culture going without having to eat all the carbs myself. There's a waitlist on the intranet at work that's about four months long now; every week I pick a morning to do some baking and drop the product off at someone's desk while it's still warm from the oven. I've shipped a few loaves via Priority Mail (costs about $15) for special occasions and am told they arrive in edible condition.
Better be careful, that's how SF bread baker Josey Baker got his start Or maybe that is your post-tech career plan in which case keep at it!
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Goumindong
Terracotta Army
Posts: 4297
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Lemoncello and other infusions/bitters/etc. No actual distilling yet though.
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60345
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Lemoncello and other infusions/bitters/etc. No actual distilling yet though.
!!
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Samwise
Moderator
Posts: 19227
sentient yeast infection
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I bake bread (100% wild sourdough), mostly given away to others so I can stay in practice and keep the culture going without having to eat all the carbs myself. There's a waitlist on the intranet at work that's about four months long now; every week I pick a morning to do some baking and drop the product off at someone's desk while it's still warm from the oven. I've shipped a few loaves via Priority Mail (costs about $15) for special occasions and am told they arrive in edible condition.
Better be careful, that's how SF bread baker Josey Baker got his start Or maybe that is your post-tech career plan in which case keep at it! Last week a coworker gave me a couple of bottles of really nice homebrewed kolsch in trade for the bread I'd baked for her the previous week. IT BEGINS.
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"I have not actually recommended many games, and I'll go on the record here saying my track record is probably best in the industry." - schild
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Goumindong
Terracotta Army
Posts: 4297
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Lemoncello and other infusions/bitters/etc. No actual distilling yet though.
!! Its hella easy it just takes some patience. All you do is add cirtus peels and other flavors that you like into a sealed jar full of 190 proof liquor Wait like 2 weeks to 2 months. And then add sugar and water to taste and potency. Sometimes you might want to add some juice (grapefruit peels dont have as much oomph of orange or lemon and so you might want to add juice at the end to bring it to the right flavor profile) Only thing to really note is that when peeling the citrus you need to avoid as much pith as possible as that is all bitter and has none of the oils you want.
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Polysorbate80
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2044
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I was making chinese 5-spice bitters once, and my wife grabbed it out of the fridge thinking it was the batch of Old Fashioneds I sometimes keep there. How she didn’t notice all the bits floating in it I don’t know, but she poured her dad a glass. He said it tasted funny, but the old alcoholic drank it anyway
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“Why the fuck would you ... ?” is like 80% of the conversation with Poly — Chimpy
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60345
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What a hero.
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RhyssaFireheart
Terracotta Army
Posts: 3525
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I create art, usually abstracts in watercolor and ink. Anything I've posted either here or on FB/Instagram is available for sale, as Polysorbate found out. Just make an offer. I'm also planning on expanding that to acrylics this year though, just to see how that would work out since I can use large canvases instead of worrying about how to mount paper. I also write fanfic when inspired, but haven't finished anything lately. Maybe I'll get back to that soon.
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Polysorbate80
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2044
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Anything I've posted either here or on FB/Instagram is available for sale, as Polysorbate found out.
Totally worth it, too! I make, uh, holes in the ground. Hard to ship.
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“Why the fuck would you ... ?” is like 80% of the conversation with Poly — Chimpy
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Miguel
Terracotta Army
Posts: 1292
कुशल
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I made the jam that I sent to Schild after a bumper crop of ghost chilies. Global warming has some side benefits, as those plants yielded peppers for damn near 4 straight months. This year I'm going to do 3 or 4 varieties of scotch bonnet and make some fresh jerk marinades for the summer. Also purple jalapenos, because jalapenos are the Toyota Camry's of spices and marinades.
I've been super into gardening since I actually have space for it now, but I only ever grow stuff that you can't find in the store. Purple corn, bright red kales, garlic and mustard crossed romaine lettuces, plus fruit like passion fruit and blackberries. Last year I started 3 Cabernet grape vines but it'll be a few years before they yield something measurable.
This year I'm going to grow some hops vines, and a few batches of barley so we can do some brewing towards the end of the summer. I may even do a few tobacco plants just to see how they grow and what they look like.
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“We have competent people thinking about this stuff. We’re not just making shit up.” -Neil deGrasse Tyson
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60345
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JERK MARINADES SCOTCH BONNETS
MY JAM, so to speak
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Polysorbate80
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2044
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Hops are super easy to grow, just keep them watered (they grow fast). I grow mine in large tubs because they’re also kind of invasive. I grow my horseradish, mint, or anything else that spreads the same way. I’m growing as many Shishito peppers as I can squeeze into the garden this year.
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“Why the fuck would you ... ?” is like 80% of the conversation with Poly — Chimpy
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rattran
Moderator
Posts: 4257
Unreasonable
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We're planting pumpkins and hops this spring, and planning on collecting up the pawpaw fruits this year instead of just letting the squirrels eat them all. Dunno what I'll do with them, maybe jam.
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MisterNoisy
Terracotta Army
Posts: 1892
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I do beef jerky (lol) and art on occasion. I do lots of cooking but aside from jerky and cookies, most of it won't survive transit either due to package-handling ape abuse or time. I also occasionally cut vinyl transfer decals.
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XBL GT: Mister Noisy PSN: MisterNoisy Steam UID: MisterNoisy
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Teleku
Terracotta Army
Posts: 10510
https://i.imgur.com/mcj5kz7.png
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I brew beer. I've put enough effort into it (as well as money into equipment) I feel pretty good about my output now. Every now and again something goes wrong and I get a shitty batch that tastes like home brew, but I have a few recipes now that I feel are better than many things I've gotten in commercial brew pubs. Also, I have actually sold kegs to bars locally here in Laos and have heard lots of compliments from unsuspecting patrons of said bars, so that makes you feel nice. I'll post pictures of my lastest efforts once they are ready within the next week or two. I made the jam that I sent to Schild after a bumper crop of ghost chilies. Global warming has some side benefits, as those plants yielded peppers for damn near 4 straight months. This year I'm going to do 3 or 4 varieties of scotch bonnet and make some fresh jerk marinades for the summer. Also purple jalapenos, because jalapenos are the Toyota Camry's of spices and marinades.
How does one go about making chili jam? I'm aware of the process/ingredients for fruit jam, but I imagine this is a bit different. Now I'm tempted to see if I can make some out of the local chilies in Laos/Burma, as I know many people who would dig that.
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« Last Edit: April 03, 2019, 06:26:06 PM by Teleku »
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"My great-grandfather did not travel across four thousand miles of the Atlantic Ocean to see this nation overrun by immigrants. He did it because he killed a man back in Ireland. That's the rumor." -Stephen Colbert
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Cyrrex
Terracotta Army
Posts: 10603
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I am jealous of you people and all of your talents. In theory, anyway. Funny how that sort of thing manifests in people, or not as the case may be. I literally possess no talents of these kinds, nor any ambitions for them (perhaps it's more the latter). I mean, in theory I would like to be able to brew my own beer and whatnot, but in practice I am overly logical about such things and will just leave the beer making to those who are already experts at it and just buy it from them instead. Same with art and marmalades, I guess.
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"...maybe if you cleaned the piss out of the sunny d bottles under your desks and returned em, you could upgrade you vid cards, fucken lusers.." - Grunk
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Sky
Terracotta Army
Posts: 32117
I love my TV an' hug my TV an' call it 'George'.
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I don't believe in talent, only focused study and disciplined practice.
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Cyrrex
Terracotta Army
Posts: 10603
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That's part of it, but there is no doubt that talent is a real thing. It just means you are innately better at something than average, maybe even way better. I have a few of my own, none of which manifest as this kind of "artisanal" production.
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"...maybe if you cleaned the piss out of the sunny d bottles under your desks and returned em, you could upgrade you vid cards, fucken lusers.." - Grunk
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Teleku
Terracotta Army
Posts: 10510
https://i.imgur.com/mcj5kz7.png
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Well yes, that's the thing. None of us have a 'talent' for this stuff (except maybe IanC/Rhyssa/Sky, since it really does seem to take certain sorts of brains to do Art well). We are literally doing the same shit illiterate peasants did for centuries, and just slowing teaching ourselves how to do it correctly. None of this stuff is hard, just time consuming. It's just a matter of if you are motivated towards having a hobby outside of standard entertainment options, such as TV and Gaming. It is way easier and cheaper to just go buy beer, but I enjoy the time I put into crafting recipes and standing over a big boiling pot of wort as I try new techniques and methods I've read about. And of course also enjoy the final product. It's just a hobby for fun (And anybody who is thinking of going into home brew absolutely needs to approach it that way. Too many people start with the thought that they are going to make something on par with their favorite German Marzen right off the bat, and that just impossible. It is not easy or cheaper than just buying and drinking. You have to enjoy the process).
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"My great-grandfather did not travel across four thousand miles of the Atlantic Ocean to see this nation overrun by immigrants. He did it because he killed a man back in Ireland. That's the rumor." -Stephen Colbert
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IainC
Developers
Posts: 6538
Wargaming.net
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I don't believe in talent, only focused study and disciplined practice.
This. The first time Joe Satriani picked up a guitar, he sucked as much as I do. The difference is that he applied himself as hard as he possibly could to being good at it and got some top-level coaching. Is he talented? Sure, but anyone can be 80% as good as he is with 100% of the same effort. Getting to the 'I don't suck anymore part' is just time invested. Getting to be actually good requires advanced training and personal insights, but anyone can do the first part no matter what.
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Samwise
Moderator
Posts: 19227
sentient yeast infection
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Somebody asked me the other day after hearing about my bread hobby "so how did you learn how to make bread?" and I said "it seemed like a cool thing to know how to do so I read up a little bit on how to do it and started doing it regularly, and after about a year I didn't suck at it any more". I wrote up a whole doc on my baking "process" to show how low-effort it is after having people ask me stuff like "so do you have to measure everything exactly and feed your starter on a schedule" (answer: I pretty much eyeball all my measurements and adjust based on how the dough feels, and starter can hibernate in the fridge for months with no ill effects) because they have this idea that baking is some kind of secret priesthood that they could never be initiated into. It's only hard if you hold yourself to an unrealistic standard of having it come out perfect on the first try.
I'm pretty sure everything is like that. Everything I've ever learned (other than the stuff I was forced to learn for school or work) started with me thinking "it'd be neat to know how to do that" and then making the time to do it until I didn't suck at it. If you aren't self-motivated enough to make that time on your own, that's why schools exist.
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« Last Edit: April 03, 2019, 09:59:51 AM by Samwise »
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"I have not actually recommended many games, and I'll go on the record here saying my track record is probably best in the industry." - schild
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Surlyboi
Terracotta Army
Posts: 10963
eat a bag of dicks
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Lemoncello and other infusions/bitters/etc. No actual distilling yet though.
I too, make my own limoncello on occasion. Also various infusions of spirits. (Wasabi root vodka, bacon-infused bourbon, etc...)
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Tuned in, immediately get to watch cringey Ubisoft talking head offering her deepest sympathies to the families impacted by the Orlando shooting while flanked by a man in a giraffe suit and some sort of "horrifically garish neon costumes through the ages" exhibit or something. We need to stop this fucking planet right now and sort some shit out. -Kail
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Teleku
Terracotta Army
Posts: 10510
https://i.imgur.com/mcj5kz7.png
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I wrote up a whole doc on my baking "process" to show how low-effort it is after having people ask me stuff like "so do you have to measure everything exactly and feed your starter on a schedule" (answer: I pretty much eyeball all my measurements and adjust based on how the dough feels, and starter can hibernate in the fridge for months with no ill effects) because they have this idea that baking is some kind of secret priesthood that they could never be initiated into. It's only hard if you hold yourself to an unrealistic standard of having it come out perfect on the first try.
Mind sending that doc my way? I’ll need something to put the chili jam on.
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"My great-grandfather did not travel across four thousand miles of the Atlantic Ocean to see this nation overrun by immigrants. He did it because he killed a man back in Ireland. That's the rumor." -Stephen Colbert
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Samwise
Moderator
Posts: 19227
sentient yeast infection
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I wrote up a whole doc on my baking "process" to show how low-effort it is after having people ask me stuff like "so do you have to measure everything exactly and feed your starter on a schedule" (answer: I pretty much eyeball all my measurements and adjust based on how the dough feels, and starter can hibernate in the fridge for months with no ill effects) because they have this idea that baking is some kind of secret priesthood that they could never be initiated into. It's only hard if you hold yourself to an unrealistic standard of having it come out perfect on the first try.
Mind sending that doc my way? I’ll need something to put the chili jam on. Copied it off the intranet, I think this should be publicly viewable: https://paper.dropbox.com/doc/Sourdough-Tips-and-Resources-OI8CllwYHrHuu6kepSTCY
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"I have not actually recommended many games, and I'll go on the record here saying my track record is probably best in the industry." - schild
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Viin
Terracotta Army
Posts: 6159
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... and planning on collecting up the pawpaw fruits this year instead of just letting the squirrels eat them all. Dunno what I'll do with them, maybe jam.
Mead? Our last batch of mead didn't come out very good, but I have some from years ago that's pretty awesome with blackberries.
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- Viin
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Trippy
Administrator
Posts: 23626
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- Preheat oven with dutch oven (and lid) in it (~475 F, my oven is imprecise). - Dump dough from brotform onto dutch oven lid. Score with knife. Cover.
Instructions unclear -- stuck dutch oven upside down in oven. This orientation does work if you are using a bread baking cloche, though. Otherwise you need to very carefully drop the bread into the pot, score, and then cover with lid. Another option is to use something like a pizza steel, drop the bread onto that and then cover with any over-proof pot that will fit. Edit: orientation added
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« Last Edit: April 03, 2019, 12:44:53 PM by Trippy »
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