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Topic: Internet Dating: Everyone's still shallow (Read 415828 times)
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stray
Terracotta Army
Posts: 16818
has an iMac.
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When I was young, saying you were an MIT grad/engineer would have got you the opposite of laid. (whatever that is)
I guess he's under the impression that money/profession equals = getting laid. Which it can, but in my view that's the hard way, lying or not. It's a lot cheaper being good looking or fun or both. And by cheap, I don't necessarily mean the women. :P Anywho, that guy's a liar in general, so none of us are friends with him anymore. That might say something too.. People who lie in dating are liars in general?
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Merusk
Terracotta Army
Posts: 27449
Badge Whore
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Sounds like it's not about the sex as much as it is about the lies. He probably gets off on knowing the women have been lied to and think he's someone completely different.
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The past cannot be changed. The future is yet within your power.
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Slayerik
Terracotta Army
Posts: 4868
Victim: Sirius Maximus
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In defense of the game, it doesn't have to involve lying. It involves trying to understand women and intrigue/attract them. Recently after my divorce I was seeing 3-7 women at the same time, and I was honest and they knew they weren't the only one. Strangely, the thing that I told them that seemed to attract them most was 'I'm not looking for a relationship right now.' I made a few rules, no back to back nights, no surprise visits, texts not calls, etc. These women ranged in age from 20-32.
My brother (who was also my roommate) said he had mad respect for my game, because they all knew they weren't the only one and accepted it. He is kind of the opposite of me, seems to push women into the friends zone, attract married women, and in general not really date at all. He is jaded from a bad relationship early on in his life and has never gotten past it.
Ok, so...I am actually writing a book about the last few years of my escapades. I don't just want to post it here, but I would like to have a couple people read what I have so far and critique me honestly. Most people enjoy it, but they are friends/family. I would like at least one man, and one woman. PM if you want to check it out and will read and give some feedback. Thanks
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"I have more qualifications than Jesus and earn more than this whole board put together. My ego is huge and my modesty non-existant." -Ironwood
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stray
Terracotta Army
Posts: 16818
has an iMac.
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That's not a game. You're just having fun, meeting women, and not getting in serious relationships. That's normal. Playing a game is spouting bullshit, and getting in relationships.. when all the so called player wants is the same thing you want. Yet goes about it in a douchebaggy way.
Lol, don't write a book! Unless it involves a Russian spy or vampires or your friends moms.
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Slayerik
Terracotta Army
Posts: 4868
Victim: Sirius Maximus
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Maybe in your circles it is, but I was amazing some of my friends at the quality and quantity of these women. Looking back, almost all were keepers in their own right. It takes game to pull off.
Screw you, my book is gonna kick ass. :)
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"I have more qualifications than Jesus and earn more than this whole board put together. My ego is huge and my modesty non-existant." -Ironwood
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60345
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Screw you, my book is gonna kick ass. :) Ok.
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stray
Terracotta Army
Posts: 16818
has an iMac.
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Maybe in your circles it is, but I was amazing some of my friends at the quality and quantity of these women. Looking back, almost all were keepers in their own right. It takes game to pull off.
Screw you, my book is gonna kick ass. :)
How about nuns? If you have a convent story, then write the book. In my view, no manwhore should write a book unless he has rivaled Casanova. My circles aren't all that exciting. Lots of "reformed" people who are in, I guess, good relationships. Heh. It's funny though, without these friends, I'd probably be way more emo about relationships. They themselves, happy as they are, talk me out of it when I start looking for something serious. They've got an exaggerated view of what single life for me can potentialy be like, but they're probably right all the same.
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Slyfeind
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2037
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I don't know anybody who regrets bullshitting just to get laid. But then, people who are up-front tend to have much better sex.
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"Role playing in an MMO is more like an open orchestra with no conductor, anyone of any skill level can walk in at any time, and everyone brings their own instrument and plays whatever song they want. Then toss PvP into the mix and things REALLY get ugly!" -Count Nerfedalot
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Azazel
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I guess he's under the impression that money/profession equals = getting laid. Which it can, but in my view that's the hard way, lying or not. It's a lot cheaper being good looking or fun or both.
Don't take this the wrong way, but you're a young guy and from what I understand don't have the money/profession part down at this point, so you're forced to (work at) be "fun and good looking". Both of which are subjective. Anyway, my point is that money/profession also have some other uses in life, so "hard way" or not, it'll be more useful in the long run of life than just being a "good looking", fun, chronically unemployed dude.
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Grimwell
Developers
Posts: 752
[Redacted]
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Further, you can not be good looking for your entire life. At some point everyone gets old and wrinkled.
Fun and money/profession can hold up until the day you die.
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Grimwell
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60345
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I can see why he'd be actively gung-ho about this stuff if he had, let's say, an unexciting time in high school.
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Trippy
Administrator
Posts: 23627
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You got dates from Facebook? How? Joining different groups and stuff? If that works, it sounds a lot easier than joining a dating service. Probably less expensive, too. And you'd automatically know you have at least one thing in common with the person if you meet them through some sort of common interest group.
Old high school friends (and even people who I wasn't friends with). Hell, one of my acquaintances from high school is married to another local tattoo artist, and she LOVES to play match maker. Gotten at least 3 dates from her alone. I tell you, Facebook is the happy hunting ground of dating. Just be friendly and breezy, stay somewhat active on it, and dates will fall into your lap. At least they have for me... Michigan Facebook pimps UNITE! Facebook is awesome for dating. Facebook 'linked to rise in syphilis'
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Signe
Terracotta Army
Posts: 18942
Muse.
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I couldn't help it. I had to laugh!
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My Sig Image: hath rid itself of this mortal coil.
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NowhereMan
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7353
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I was just relieved I don't log in to Facebook very often.
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"Look at my car. Do you think that was bought with the earnest love of geeks?" - HaemishM
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Signe
Terracotta Army
Posts: 18942
Muse.
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Yes, I don't blame you. I'm a wee bit worried about my little games, now. Although the only person left from here who plays the same ones I do is Samwise so I'll know who infected me!
Edited for a comma that seemed to come out of nowhere.
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« Last Edit: March 24, 2010, 07:56:19 PM by Signe »
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My Sig Image: hath rid itself of this mortal coil.
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NowhereMan
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7353
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I recently got a friend invitation from my mother. I don't know know what to think on so many levels, damn you internets!
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"Look at my car. Do you think that was bought with the earnest love of geeks?" - HaemishM
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60345
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I recently got a friend invitation from my mother. I don't know know what to think on so many levels, damn you internets!
I told my mom it's called Facebook, not Familybook.
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nurtsi
Terracotta Army
Posts: 291
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I recently got a friend invitation from my mother. I don't know know what to think on so many levels, damn you internets!
You should be proud of your mom. She's radical!
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60345
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I recently got a friend invitation from my mother. I don't know know what to think on so many levels, damn you internets!
You should be proud of your mom. She's radical! Moms on facebook are like the largest demographic (on Facebook). Edit: Or rather, fastest growing.
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« Last Edit: March 24, 2010, 11:08:37 PM by schild »
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Signe
Terracotta Army
Posts: 18942
Muse.
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If there had been a Facebook thingy when I was younger and my mother wanted to join mine - that would have been totally awesome. Especially if we lived far away from each other. It's a really nice way to keep in touch. I have a cousin whom I love very much and never see and it's incredible to be able to keep up using such a casual environment. On the other hand, if I had a child or someone I cared about and extended an invite to them and they said no, I'd be gutted. How hurtful is that? Next time I saw them, I'd have to give them that really really sad look that only works on family members. (and pets)
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My Sig Image: hath rid itself of this mortal coil.
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KallDrexx
Terracotta Army
Posts: 3510
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My mom was always smart enough not to even attempt an invite to my facebook. We had a good relationship, she just didn't want to know everything I did and I didn't want her to see everything i put up :P
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Signe
Terracotta Army
Posts: 18942
Muse.
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No, the sad look only comes after they try and join you and you shoot them down. If they never bother, it doesn't count.
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My Sig Image: hath rid itself of this mortal coil.
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Minvaren
Terracotta Army
Posts: 1676
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Parents on Facebook bring things like this to mind... In semi-topical news, I might have a "coffee" date this weekend. Is this considered a quicker-getaway thing than lunch/dinner, or...? Not hanging out at coffee shops (or even liking coffee), I don't quite get the phenomenon.
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"There are many things of which a wise man might wish to remain ignorant." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Engels
Terracotta Army
Posts: 9029
inflicts shingles.
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Well yes. Coffee allows you to up and leave at moments notice should she notice your leprosy. A dinner does not allow as easy an out. Its the gentelman's way these days to do coffee first
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I should get back to nature, too. You know, like going to a shop for groceries instead of the computer. Maybe a condo in the woods that doesn't even have a health club or restaurant attached. Buy a car with only two cup holders or something. -Signe
I LIKE being bounced around by Tonkors. - Lantyssa
Babies shooting themselves in the head is the state bird of West Virginia. - schild
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Nebu
Terracotta Army
Posts: 17613
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As long as you have a cell phone, you always have a quick out. Just tell a friend to call you 30 mins into the first date. If it's going poorly, just feign an emergency.
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"Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other."
- Mark Twain
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Murgos
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7474
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As long as you have a cell phone, you always have a quick out. Just tell a friend to call you 30 mins into the first date. If it's going poorly, just feign an emergency.
R u fem irl? Anyway, you don't have to drink coffee at the coffee shop, it's just a place to meet that has casual seating. Meeting for coffee (soda or water if that's your thing) is a 15 minute commitment with a ~2 dollar max cash outlay. Dinner can be a lot more time & money committing even if you split the check.
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"You have all recieved youre last warning. I am in the process of currently tracking all of youre ips and pinging your home adressess. you should not have commencemed a war with me" - Aaron Rayburn
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Nebu
Terracotta Army
Posts: 17613
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R u fem irl?
I'm a vegetarian, atheist democrat living in the deep south. Most of my first dates are disasters.
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"Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other."
- Mark Twain
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Minvaren
Terracotta Army
Posts: 1676
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...should she notice your leprosy. Frack, knew I forgot to mention something in the profile...
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"There are many things of which a wise man might wish to remain ignorant." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Lantyssa
Terracotta Army
Posts: 20848
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I'm a vegetarian, atheist democrat living in the deep south. Most of my first dates are disasters.
You should share for our enjoyment.
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Hahahaha! I'm really good at this!
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Selby
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2963
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Most of my first dates are disasters.
Hey, at least you get that far. And seriously, share with the rest of the class so we can all comment on what kinds of crazy relationships you dodged bullets on.
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Tale
Terracotta Army
Posts: 8562
sıɥʇ ǝʞıן sʞןɐʇ
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In semi-topical news, I might have a "coffee" date this weekend. Is this considered a quicker-getaway thing than lunch/dinner, or...? Not hanging out at coffee shops (or even liking coffee), I don't quite get the phenomenon.
I quickly learned that if you've never met before, coffee dates are much better. I'm not much of a coffee fan either, but you know the phrase "for the price of a cup of coffee ..."? For the price of a cup of coffee, you go on a date. My first online date was a dinner date. I suggested a location, but she wanted to try somewhere more expensive. At the end of the meal, I politely offered to pay, expecting the usual response where she protests and offers to pay half. Except she didn't say a fucking word, she just let me pay the entire bill at the expensive place she had nominated. So I paid for my lesson in online dating. Next morning I met another girl at a coffee shop, and it was way better.
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Tale
Terracotta Army
Posts: 8562
sıɥʇ ǝʞıן sʞןɐʇ
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I'm a vegetarian, atheist democrat living in the deep south. Most of my first dates are disasters.
You should share for our enjoyment. Could make a website: Red State Date
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Minvaren
Terracotta Army
Posts: 1676
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"Coffee" turned out to be longer than a dinner would have been. Hooray for naming conventions.
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"There are many things of which a wise man might wish to remain ignorant." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Tale
Terracotta Army
Posts: 8562
sıɥʇ ǝʞıן sʞןɐʇ
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Second date then?
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Selby
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2963
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Hopefully it was a mutual thing, unless she held you hostage and wouldn't take "gee look at the time..." for an answer...
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