NFL 2016

[HaemishM]

I don't normally go in for these kind of personal profiles of sports stars because they are mostly PR bullshit.

But you have to read this one on Michael and Martellus Bennett.

Holy shit, they are hilarious. Especially when they start dogging other NFL players, including hits on Jay Cutler.

[Rasix]

And Romo's already out. 

[WayAbvPar]

He landed very awkwardly andcompressed/twisted  his back. As a fellow lower back problem haver, I can feel sympathy for Romo, but LOL @ JJ and the Cowboys.

[HaemishM]

Lucky for the Cowboys, it looks like Prescott may actually not suck. I'm sure he's a human turnover machine waiting to happen but he should have decent blocking and a good running game in Elliot. Not that that helped the Cowboys last year.

[01101010]

Sadly, Conner Shaw is probably done with football at this point. That leg break...guh. Feel for the kid.

[Paelos]

And Romo's already out. 

Cardale Jones is expected to announce today at 2PM that he's going into the draft. Just the capper on one of the strangest seasons ever.

I figured he might. He'll get murdered in the rankings because of his lack of game experience though. Still, someone might take a flyer on him in the 3rd round because he's a freak. I wouldn't mind the Cowboys spending a 3rd or 4th on the kid if he fell down there. They need a better backup situation and somebody to train two years under Romo before his back explodes.

That was from 2 years ago almost. We've known Romo is a ticking time bomb for a while, and I think what I was referencing in Cardale actually came true with Dak in this draft. The Cowboys finally realized it's almost over with Romo and they had to take a flyer pick to train up in his absences.

[HaemishM]

Teddy Bridgewater goes down with non-contact knee injury.

The extent of the damage is unknown but considered significant.

Buh-bye, Vikings.

[MrHat]

Teddy Bridgewater goes down with non-contact knee injury.

The extent of the damage is unknown but considered significant.

Buh-bye, Vikings.

His leg exploded. Apparently there were people throwing up it was so gruesome.

[Cyrrex]

Damn, poor kid.

[Surlyboi]

Apparently it was so bad, he almost lost the leg.

[Merusk]

What? Just stepping on his leg wrong? Fuuuuck.

[Bungee]

The torque that can get generated when you i.e. try to cut/turn and your cleat gets stuck in the turf can do horrible things to the knee. Also slipping while planting your foot. No idea how this injury happened and I sure as hell won't investigate after hearing that he dislocated the knee. I hope he manages to get back.

[K9]

What are you doing Vikings?

[01101010]

What are you doing Vikings?

Throwing away the spring? But yeah... no idea why you give up a 1st rounder for another QB that will eventually be on IR.

[HaemishM]

Jesus there is going to be some shitty shit shit shit QB play in the league this season. I realize the Vikings were desperate after Bridgewater's injury, but why the fuck would you give up a 1st rounder with a conditional pick for fucking Bradford? Shit, the Broncos cut Sanchez - he's at least as shitty as Bradford.

[Bunk]

It's a weird atmosphere for QBs this preseason. I lost faith in Cutler in my keeper league, ended up getting Matt Ryan in the fourth round of our supplemental draft. A few years ago he was going early rounds of the main draft.

As for Minny, as a bears fan, I wished they'do grabbed the butt fumbler. This cost them picks though, so it's still good.

[Chimpy]

Reports have butt-fumble heading to Dallas. 

[TheWalrus]

Hey, Seattle still has Wilson. Bwahahaha.

[Chimpy]

Obviously the games in recent years haven't had enough scoring so they make a touchback put the ball on the 25. 

Also, how does Sports Authority still have their name on the stadium? They closed all of their stores a while ago.

[Shannow]

Watched the last drive of the game. Saw the DL of Denver drive his helmet into Newton's head. Heard Collingsworth do everything in his power not to talk about it and only talk about how his pass didn't make it back to the line of scrimmage.
Offsetting penalities...

Pretty sure I'm already done with the NFL. What a joke.

Here's a few of those hits in gif and slow mo , 2 of which were not even penalized. Leaving your feet and targeting the head is a flag right?  Should be a fucking ejection and an extra 15 yards or something. But hey as long as we all keep watching and playing fantasy it's all ok.

[HaemishM]

That game was pretty awful on every level. At least two helmets to the bean calls were completely missed. There is simply no excuse for Cam Newton to have to burn 3 timeouts because the clock is running out in the first half, and then to have to burn another one on the last drive. I put that one on both coaching and the QB. You have got to get the play in and get the snap off especially in a potentially game-winning 4th quarter drive. Denver isn't innocent in that either though, because 1 timeout and 2 penalties for 12 men on the field on defense is just unacceptable. Trevor Siemiean (or however spell it) looked decent enough for a rookie who probably shouldn't be in that spot and his arm is certainly stronger now than Peyton's was last year. The turnovers have got to go away though or this team won't get far. Also, fuck Gary Kubiak for making his offense SO BORING and predictable. He only knows 3 plays, run up the gut, trap run off tackle and bootleg pass, usually for a screen or less than 10 yards.

[shiznitz]

I think everyone is giving Cam too much sympathy. He was running right through the defense in the 1st half. All the hits to the head he took were while he was threatening to run and already well out of the pocket. If you leave the pocket, you are going to get hit and get less protection from the refs.

[01101010]

Unless your last name is Brady or Manning.

[Shannow]

I think everyone is giving Cam too much sympathy. He was running right through the defense in the 1st half. All the hits to the head he took were while he was threatening to run and already well out of the pocket. If you leave the pocket, you are going to get hit and get less protection from the refs.

Holy fuck this comment is so fucking retarded I'm thinking it's sarcasm. Outside of the fact that it's plain fucking wrong, a defensive player leaving his feet to target another player's head is FUCKING illegal and dangerous no matter where they are.

But hey, keep thinking that way, the NFL is depending on it.

[HaemishM]

There was one play that Cam got blitzed on, STAYED IN THE POCKET, mind you, and the defender basically grabbed Cam's head before Cam could wriggle out of it. He didn't grab the facemask but I swear if that was Brady or Manning or Rodgers, that gets 15 yards on roughing the passer. I was just gobsmacked because most of the time if you even breathe at a QB's head, you get flagged. For a national TV game, they were sure letting a lot of shots to the head go without flagging.

[Cyrrex]

To be fair, Manning is now retired, so those kinds of hits would literally be criminal.

[Paelos]

Unless your last name is Brady or Manning.

It's the future HOF clause in every officiating handbook in every sport.

[HaemishM]

To be fair, Manning is now retired, so those kinds of hits would literally be criminal.

But that forehead is just so hard to miss!

[TheWalrus]

That'll do, Hawks, that'll do.

[K9]

Watched the Jets Bengals game and had a blast, both those teams look decent but imperfect. I think the main problem for the Jets is in the secondary, it's probably not entirely fair to say that Revis has lost a step based on one game against one of the best receivers in the league but still, he didn't look quite his usual self. Forte looked great on the ground too, as long as he stays healthy this offence is going to be a real pain for a lot of teams to deal with.

[Shannow]

No starting LT, all world QB or TE, no problems.

And we thought people hated the Patriots before..

[Bungee]

No starting LT, all world QB or TE, no problems.

And we thought people hated the Patriots before..

Don't forget no Dion Lewis. That team is just loaded.

[Paelos]

The Seahawks almost destroyed everyone's suicide pools in the first week.
The Cowboys are the clown show I expected when your franchise QB is damaged in the offseason.
The Falcons are HILARIBAD and I love every second of it. I hope Arthur Blank chokes on his own Butthole Stadium along with the PSLs he can't sell to build it.
The Pats can win with almost anybody at QB. I'm convinced of it.
The Titans still suck and always will.
The Colts need a new head coach immediately. And a defense.
The Browns might go 0-16.
The Bills have a great defense and absolute no offense.
The Bears...what in the world Bears?
The Saints, whodat? Everybody this year because you wrapped up 60% of your cap in two guys. Except the Falcons you will be them.
The Chargers need to leave town, that one isn't working for them
The Jags look much better and almost pulled off a massive upset.
The Eagles look much better now that Chip Kelly is fucking up somebody else's team.
The Texans might have enough of a QB now to win games. Might. Maybe. Sort of. We'll see.
The Giants continue to get lucky because they are playing dumb teams like the Cowboys. Ben McAdoo is an idiot as a HC.
The Ravens will be complete garbage once Flacco leaves. He's shockingly holding that team together offensively. Defense still fierce.

[Mithas]

The Seahawks almost destroyed everyone's suicide pools in the first week.

This. Though it made sense to me. I've been out in the first week 3 times in the last 7 years. I guess I suck at picking teams.

[HaemishM]

I only watched the Giants/Cowboys and Pats/Cards games yesterday but wow. Dak Prescott is apparently not a turnover machine. Too bad he still can't find the endzone with a map and a compass. The game was pretty mediocre at best, but who would have thunk that having two Pro Bowl level wideouts and a QB with two Super Bowl rings would allow you to throw TD passes? Also, both these teams running games should be ashamed of themselves. Also, both defenses should be ashamed of themselves.

Or they would if the Colts defense did not exist. Though based on yesterday's evidence, I can't actually confirm that a collective known as the Colts' defense DOES exist. Holy... shit. I thought Pagano was this great defensive guy. Not with this team. The Lions are clearly NOT GOOD yet somehow were able to drive down the field in less than 90 seconds and win the game with a fairly easy field goal because covering dudes in the fourth quarter is apparently REAL HARD.

Everybody line up for the Jimmy Garropolo sweepstakes! How many draft picks do you think Belicheck will get for him next offseason? Short of Brady announcing his retirement, I don't see this kid being allowed to stay with that team when you know SOMEBODY will overpay for him to start (and subsequently go 1-15 because he can't carry a team that isn't the Patriots). Also, LOL Cardinals. Seriously, that is not even remotely a kick Catanzaro should miss but snapping is hard.

Also, FUCK YAHOO FANTASY for not telling me my goddamn kicker got released last fucking week. Seriously, Shayne Graham was actually still listed as being on a team on goddamn game day. FUCK YOU.