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Author
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Topic: After Earth (Read 11430 times)
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Merusk
Terracotta Army
Posts: 27449
Badge Whore
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZIt20emgLYNew Will Smith vehicle. Man and son crash-land on Earth, 1,000 years after humans abandoned it. (Hey, call it the sequel to Oblivion!) It's Shyamalan though so it could suck terribly.
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The past cannot be changed. The future is yet within your power.
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rattran
Moderator
Posts: 4257
Unreasonable
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1000 years to re-evolve saber-tooth tigers?
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Der Helm
Terracotta Army
Posts: 4025
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1000 years to re-evolve saber-tooth tigers?
TWIST ENDING! THEY ARE IN THE PAST, NOT THE FUTURE! (I have not watched the trailer)
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"I've been done enough around here..."- Signe
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Ironwood
Terracotta Army
Posts: 28240
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"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
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Evildrider
Terracotta Army
Posts: 5521
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It's Shyamalan the twist is the trailer is acutally the movie.
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Pennilenko
Terracotta Army
Posts: 3472
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It's Shyamalan though so it could will suck terribly.
That looks about right.
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"See? All of you are unique. And special. Like fucking snowflakes." -- Signe
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Venkman
Terracotta Army
Posts: 11536
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Ugh, looks terrible.
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Fordel
Terracotta Army
Posts: 8306
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Does Will Smith ever age?
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and the gate is like I TOO AM CAPABLE OF SPEECH
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Merusk
Terracotta Army
Posts: 27449
Badge Whore
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Does Will Smith ever age?
No. Dick Clark passed his Quickening on to him to protect it from Seacrest.
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The past cannot be changed. The future is yet within your power.
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Pennilenko
Terracotta Army
Posts: 3472
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You made me blow soda through my nose. I hate you.
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"See? All of you are unique. And special. Like fucking snowflakes." -- Signe
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RhyssaFireheart
Terracotta Army
Posts: 3525
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Does Will Smith ever age?
No. Dick Clark passed his Quickening on to him to protect it from Seacrest. Oh, I was going to go with the painting in the closet theory, but I like your answer better.
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Merusk
Terracotta Army
Posts: 27449
Badge Whore
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You made me blow soda through my nose. I hate you.
My work here is done.
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The past cannot be changed. The future is yet within your power.
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HaemishM
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 42632
the Confederate flag underneath the stone in my class ring
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1000 years to re-evolve saber-tooth tigers?
TWIST ENDING! THEY ARE IN THE PAST, NOT THE FUTURE! (I have not watched the trailer) That's exactly what I thought. If it wasn't ShamalamaTWISTDONG and Will Smith's kid, I might be interested. EDIT: Because was and wasn't aren't the same thing.
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« Last Edit: December 17, 2012, 01:50:26 PM by HaemishM »
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Soln
Terracotta Army
Posts: 4737
the opportunity for evil is just delicious
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twist: father or son is dead, or father is son in past, or something dead brain in vat.
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angry.bob
Terracotta Army
Posts: 5442
We're no strangers to love. You know the rules and so do I.
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I sincerly hope that Jayden and Willow Smith go full on Whitney Houston and die while Will Smith and what's her name are still alive. Neither of those kids should have a show business career. Also, that just looked stupid and boring. Like Outlander but with trees instead of Vikings.
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Wovon man nicht sprechen kann, darüber muß man schweigen.
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Pennilenko
Terracotta Army
Posts: 3472
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Why the hate for the dude's children?
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"See? All of you are unique. And special. Like fucking snowflakes." -- Signe
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Lakov_Sanite
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7590
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Karate kid remake.
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~a horrific, dark simulacrum that glares balefully at us, with evil intent.
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Shannow
Terracotta Army
Posts: 3703
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twist is the film won't suck balls?
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Someone liked something? Who the fuzzy fuck was this heretic? You don't come to this website and enjoy something. Fuck that. ~ The Walrus
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Ironwood
Terracotta Army
Posts: 28240
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I liked the Karate Kid Remake.
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"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
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Lakov_Sanite
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7590
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I liked the Karate Kid Remake.
Except it wasn't fucking karate.
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~a horrific, dark simulacrum that glares balefully at us, with evil intent.
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DraconianOne
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2905
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Except it wasn't fucking karate.
Bovvered? I liked it too - more than the original.
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A point can be MOOT. MUTE is more along the lines of what you should be. - WayAbvPar
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Ironwood
Terracotta Army
Posts: 28240
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Quite : My liking it was entirely by using the benchmark of 'Hey, remember how the original sucked balls' coupled with 'Jackie Chan - He's Fucking Awesome'.
I didn't think the Smith clone was that bad.
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"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
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Lakov_Sanite
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7590
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It was a shameless grab at a fanbase and sense of nostalgia to make a buck. It had nothing to do with the original beyond "kid gets bullied, fights back" which could be nearly any movie. What's next, Roots: Starring Hugh Grant?
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~a horrific, dark simulacrum that glares balefully at us, with evil intent.
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Big Gulp
Terracotta Army
Posts: 3275
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What's next, Roots: Starring Hugh Grant?
I would see that! "Your name is Toby!"
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Lakov_Sanite
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7590
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"Well, actually you see that is not entirely correct, my given name is actually uh, Kunta Kinte"
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~a horrific, dark simulacrum that glares balefully at us, with evil intent.
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Khaldun
Terracotta Army
Posts: 15163
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"Oh, I see, you would like me to use, uh, the name Toby instead. Sorry, sorry, didn't understand that at first. Um, is that something you normally ask of people? I, uh, I, uh, just want to get some sense of what's, um, a guest here ought to be doing. Toby, is it, then. Right. Well, I, uh, frightfully sorry about this, really I am, but I think, if you don't--if you don't--that is, mind, I'd just as soon be Kunta Kinte. Sorry!"
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Shannow
Terracotta Army
Posts: 3703
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"Oh, I see, you would like me to use, uh, the name Toby instead. Sorry, sorry, didn't understand that at first. Um, is that something you normally ask of people? I, uh, I, uh, just want to get some sense of what's, um, a guest here ought to be doing. Toby, is it, then. Right. Well, I, uh, frightfully sorry about this, really I am, but I think, if you don't--if you don't--that is, mind, I'd just as soon be Kunta Kinte. Sorry!"
Gold.
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Someone liked something? Who the fuzzy fuck was this heretic? You don't come to this website and enjoy something. Fuck that. ~ The Walrus
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naum
Terracotta Army
Posts: 4262
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I don't think Will Smith is any better an actor than his kids. He plays the same character, regardless the movie, with the same exact expressions and vocal incantation style no matter the movie -- be it Independence Day or Pursuit of Happyness. I think his career apex was Fresh Prince days, yet he continues to rake in superstar loot as primo megastar actor and now director/producer.
And fuck him especially for the travesty that was *I Robot*.
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"Should the batman kill Joker because it would save more lives?" is a fundamentally different question from "should the batman have a bunch of machineguns that go BATBATBATBATBAT because its totally cool?". ~Goumindong
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Surlyboi
Terracotta Army
Posts: 10963
eat a bag of dicks
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You probably haven't seen "Where the Day Takes You" (admittedly, a small part) or "Six Degrees of Separation", then.
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Tuned in, immediately get to watch cringey Ubisoft talking head offering her deepest sympathies to the families impacted by the Orlando shooting while flanked by a man in a giraffe suit and some sort of "horrifically garish neon costumes through the ages" exhibit or something. We need to stop this fucking planet right now and sort some shit out. -Kail
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Teleku
Terracotta Army
Posts: 10510
https://i.imgur.com/mcj5kz7.png
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Eh, I like Will Smith, and this movie looks OK. I really don't get how every animal on earth could have evolved into human hating murder machines in 1,000 years, but maybe its explained (or part of the twist). Still, at the very least, it could be a good survival adventure story to watch (nothing amazing mind you). I agree it has a decent probability of being horrible or really boring due to the name attached to the director, but I saw nothing in that trailer that made me hate it.
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"My great-grandfather did not travel across four thousand miles of the Atlantic Ocean to see this nation overrun by immigrants. He did it because he killed a man back in Ireland. That's the rumor." -Stephen Colbert
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Lakov_Sanite
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7590
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Eh, I like Will Smith, and this movie looks OK. I really don't get how every animal on earth could have evolved into human hating murder machines in 1,000 years, but maybe its explained (or part of the twist). Still, at the very least, it could be a good survival adventure story to watch (nothing amazing mind you). I agree it has a decent probability of being horrible or really boring due to the name attached to the director, but I saw nothing in that trailer that made me hate it.
Why would a spacesuit be designed with glider wings? That bothered me.
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~a horrific, dark simulacrum that glares balefully at us, with evil intent.
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Sir T
Terracotta Army
Posts: 14223
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Will Smiths performance in "I, Robot" was enjoyable and solid. Its not his fault that the story didn't make a lick of sense and was a total screw around from the book.
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Hic sunt dracones.
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Chimpy
Terracotta Army
Posts: 10619
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I don't think Will Smith is any better an actor than his kids. He plays the same character, regardless the movie, with the same exact expressions and vocal incantation style no matter the movie -- be it Independence Day or Pursuit of Happyness. I think his career apex was Fresh Prince days, yet he continues to rake in superstar loot as primo megastar actor and now director/producer.
And fuck him especially for the travesty that was *I Robot*.
The number of "superstar" actors that are not playing the same effective character in every movie is an extremely small list. And even the ones with the skill/range to play something different end up doing similar things in each character. Some of the "best" actors are hacks who play the same character 99% of the time.
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'Reality' is the only word in the language that should always be used in quotes.
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Surlyboi
Terracotta Army
Posts: 10963
eat a bag of dicks
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Eh, I like Will Smith, and this movie looks OK. I really don't get how every animal on earth could have evolved into human hating murder machines in 1,000 years, but maybe its explained (or part of the twist). Still, at the very least, it could be a good survival adventure story to watch (nothing amazing mind you). I agree it has a decent probability of being horrible or really boring due to the name attached to the director, but I saw nothing in that trailer that made me hate it.
Why would a spacesuit be designed with glider wings? That bothered me. Spacesuits don't necessarily have to be designed strictly for vacuum.
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Tuned in, immediately get to watch cringey Ubisoft talking head offering her deepest sympathies to the families impacted by the Orlando shooting while flanked by a man in a giraffe suit and some sort of "horrifically garish neon costumes through the ages" exhibit or something. We need to stop this fucking planet right now and sort some shit out. -Kail
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Lakov_Sanite
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7590
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I just get a very star trek technomagic vibe which oddly enough I only accept in the trek universe.
Also do we see will smith get blown out of the ship in the wreck in the beginning? I am thinking he actually dies in that scene nd any other scene they are together is a flashback, does the trailer actually show will on the planet in the present?
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~a horrific, dark simulacrum that glares balefully at us, with evil intent.
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